CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FOUR

The next morning, April lay in Jack’s bed and stared up at the ceiling. She’d never felt so . . . cherished in her entire life. And she hadn’t even been in Jack’s home for twenty-four hours. Was she getting in over her head?

As advertised, he was intense—there was no getting around that. And she still felt a little weird about wanting to be with him as much as she did after essentially only knowing him for a week. But he was right; something deep down felt as if she’d known him forever.

And that kiss last night told her all she needed to know. She’d never felt as desperate to be with someone as she did when he gently touched his lips to hers. She’d made the first move to deepen the kiss and hadn’t been disappointed in the outcome. Being with her ex had never made her feel the way she did when she was with Jack.

He told her that he could be an ass, and he wasn’t lying. She’d seen him be rude to people in the hospital—anyone who upset her or made her uncomfortable—and when he was wheeling her out yesterday, he’d been kind of a dick to a man who dared walk in front of her while he was looking at his phone and not paying attention. He also swore under his breath at idiot drivers when they were on the highway, so she could see what he meant about being a little rough around the edges.

But the man she spent time with last night was everything she’d ever wanted in a partner. They’d laughed. He’d opened up about Jack’s Lumber and the struggle it had been in the beginning, but swore none of them regretted it for a moment. He didn’t go into detail about his time as a prisoner of war, and she didn’t press, but she could tell it had shaped him into the man he was today.

And hearing him talk about protecting her, about standing between her and anyone who wanted to hurt her, made April tingle deep down inside.

For the most part, she’d been on her own her entire life. She hadn’t been bullied or gone through anything traumatic while growing up, but that didn’t mean people hadn’t taken advantage of her simply because she was a woman. Then there was the typical disrespect women experienced every day. Her ex hadn’t cared when men catcalled her or made suggestive remarks at the grocery store or while they were out and about. April had a feeling no one would get away with that when Jack was around.

When it had gotten late, Jack insisted on helping her to bed, and somehow she’d ended up in his bed rather than the guest room. The look in his eyes when he’d stood over her as she lay under his sheets made her want to throw the covers back and invite him to stay with her. But he’d turned and headed for the kitchen, then returned with one of her pain pills. He’d kissed her on the forehead, which was just as romantic as she’d always imagined it would be, and told her to sleep well. That he’d be out on the couch and he’d hear her if she called out and needed anything.

After dinner, she’d also talked him into taking her with him to Jack’s Lumber today. She instinctively knew he had a lot of work to catch up on after staying with her at the hospital in Bangor for as long as he had. It hadn’t been easy to convince him to let her tag along, and he’d made her promise to just sit and relax while he worked, but Jack’s Lumber was apparently her home away from home, and April was looking forward to seeing the place she’d heard so much about.

Of course, she was also hoping that maybe being there would prompt some memories to return, but since Jack was so adamant about not pushing herself to remember, she wasn’t going to mention that part.

Shortly before going to bed, she’d gotten a text message from the girls saying they would meet her at the office as well. Apparently there was a long-standing group text set up so they could all stay in touch. And it was very active, which April loved.

Everyone checked in on June and her quickly advancing pregnancy and congratulated Carlise on finishing another translation, and Cal had been updating everyone on his search for a replacement Forester for April’s wrecked one. When April protested, it was Jack who’d gotten her to drop it, insisting that everyone felt the need to do something to help her as much as they’d always helped each other. And since her last Subaru had basically saved her life when she’d wrecked, she couldn’t really complain about getting another vehicle that was the same make and model.

Cal was determined to get the best deal he could on principle, so he was wheeling and dealing with every Subaru dealer he could find. Not only that, but in a group on social media, he’d chatted with a guy who worked at the Subaru factory in Lafayette, Indiana, who could get him a friends and family discount.

It almost made April’s head spin, how fast things were happening now that she was back in Newton, but she supposed she shouldn’t be surprised. She’d known these people for months . . . in some cases, years. If something had happened to one of her longtime friends, she’d be doing the same thing. So even if it was a little uncomfortable and awkward for her, she still appreciated their support.

She was still lying in bed when the smell of bacon and cinnamon began to drift through the door. April scooted up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She needed to figure out what she was going to wear, because the oversize T-shirt of Jack’s that she’d worn home from the hospital wasn’t going to cut it when she went out in public. She shuffled to the bathroom attached to the bedroom and winced when she turned on the light.

She’d hoped her headache would be gone by this morning, but that obviously wasn’t the case. She stared at herself in the mirror and grimaced. Lord, she was a mess. She wasn’t the most gorgeous woman in the first place, but her hair definitely needed washing, and she could use some lip balm and color in her cheeks. The bruises on her face were more yellow and green than purple and blue, which was good, but still not pretty.

Desperate now to get clean, April didn’t hesitate to turn on the shower. While the water was warming up, she brushed her teeth with the toothbrush Jack had given her last night. Then she eased the shirt up and over her head, pushed her underwear over her hips, and stepped into the large space.

Moaning, she tilted her head back, closed her eyes, and let the hot water cascade over her body. This was literally the best shower she’d ever had in her life, and not only because she felt so dirty. The water pressure was strong, but not so hard that it hurt when it hit her skin. The showerhead was wide, one of those rain-type things. How long she stood there, April had no idea, but when she realized the water hitting her head was actually starting to make the ache worse, she figured she needed to move things along.

She used Jack’s shampoo and washed her hair twice. He had no conditioner, which meant it would take a while to brush out the tangles, but she didn’t care. She used his soap and couldn’t stop herself from smiling as she realized she would smell like Jack all day.

It wasn’t until she’d turned the water off and dried herself with a huge fluffy towel hanging by the shower that she realized she didn’t have anything to put on. She could rifle through Jack’s drawers and find another shirt, but she didn’t want to snoop through his things.

She was still contemplating what to do when she heard Jack’s voice from the bedroom.

“April?”

“Yeah?”

“Carlise stopped by your place and packed some clothes for you.”

She was surprised, both by the kind gesture and because it was like he’d been reading her mind.

When she failed to respond, he explained, “She has a key, just as you have a key to her place, as well as June and Marlowe’s houses. June actually had key chains made that say ‘BFF,’ and you all made copies of your keys for each other.” She could hear the amusement in his voice at that detail. “Anyway, she brought the clothes by this morning, and I’m putting them out here. Okay?”

April’s eyes welled up with tears. What she’d done to deserve such good friends as Carlise, June, and Marlowe, she didn’t know. But she was grateful. “Okay,” she called out.

“Are you all right?”

Figured Jack would pick up on the fact her voice was wobbly. “I’m good.”

“April . . . I’m serious. What’s wrong? Is it your head? Do I need to call the doctor? Shit, you did too much too soon, didn’t you? That shower was too much. I should’ve offered to wash your hair for you. Are you decent? I’m coming in.”

“No!” April said urgently. The towel she held in front of her was big enough to cover her from chest to feet, but she was still uneasy about Jack seeing her so vulnerable. “I’m okay. I promise. I just got a little teary at the thought of Carlise thinking about me so early in the morning.”

Jack’s voice sounded as if he was standing just on the other side of the door . . . and he probably was. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“All right. I’ve made some bacon, pancakes, and cinnamon rolls for breakfast. I also have coffee with your favorite creamer. Take your time getting dressed. I’ll keep everything warm until you’re ready.”

April wasn’t even sure what creamer she apparently liked so much. It was such a small, trivial thing . . . yet not being able to recall her favorite creamer suddenly felt overwhelming and a little disconcerting. But she took a deep breath. She just had to go with the flow. “Okay, thanks.”

“You don’t have to thank me, hon. It’s my pleasure.”

April heard his footsteps heading away from the bathroom, then the bedroom door closing behind him.

She cracked open the door and peeked out and saw a suitcase sitting nearby. She didn’t recognize it but assumed it had to be hers. She pulled it into the bathroom and closed the door again. After placing it on the vanity, she unzipped it and smiled when she saw all the things Carlise had packed. Leggings, jeans, underwear, bras, T-shirts, sweatshirts, and a blouse or two. Along with shampoo, conditioner, a shower pouf, lotion, a toothbrush, toothpaste, and a little bag filled with things like tampons, nail clippers, aspirin, and other miscellaneous toiletries.

She got a little teary eyed all over again. Carlise had packed perfectly, and even though April didn’t recognize the clothes as being hers, she figured by the sizes they had to be.

Picking out a T-shirt and a pair of leggings, April got dressed. She grabbed the brush that was in the suitcase but quickly gave up on getting the tangles out of her hair for the moment. It hurt her head too much to tug on her hair, so she simply piled her shoulder-length strands on top of her head with a scrunchie. She’d deal with her hair later. Right now, the scent of cinnamon and other food was making her stomach growl.

She pushed the suitcase out of the bathroom to deal with later and wandered out of the bedroom and into the living area. Jack had his back to her and was doing something in the kitchen. April took the time to study him for a long moment. Had James ever made her breakfast? She couldn’t remember, and she didn’t think it was because of the knock on the head making her forget.

James hadn’t thought about anyone other than himself, and it probably never even crossed his mind to make her breakfast before he headed off to work.

She must’ve made a noise, because Jack abruptly turned and smiled at her. He reached for a mug that was sitting on the counter and filled it with coffee from the carafe warming on the coffee maker. He poured in a healthy dash of creamer, then brought it to the small table in the kitchen. “Come sit,” he said, pulling out a chair.

April walked as if in a trance to where he indicated, and sat. Jack leaned down and kissed the top of her head. “Good morning.”

“Morning,” she mumbled, lifting the mug to her lips and inhaling deeply. She heard Jack chuckle but ignored him in favor of taking a sip. “Mmmmm,” she sighed, before looking up at Jack. She froze when she saw his expression. “What? Do I have something on my face?” she asked self-consciously.

“No. I just . . . you’re kind of out of it before you have coffee. I didn’t realize that about you. Probably because I always saw you wide awake and ready to take on the day by the time I got to the office.”

April shrugged. “This is good, thank you,” she said, not sure what else to say in response to his comment.

“You’re welcome. There’s a coffee machine at the office, but you threatened us all that if you ever came into work and your creamer was empty, we’d pay dearly.” He chuckled. “So we’ve all taken it upon ourselves to make sure you have plenty at all times.”

April blushed, even though she wasn’t sure why. “Well, it’s good,” she defended. “Although I have to admit, I don’t know what it is.”

“Southern butter pecan,” Jack said, as if it was completely normal that she had no idea what kind of creamer she liked so much that she’d apparently threatened bodily harm if she didn’t have it at the office. “It’s too sweet for me. I’m more of a black coffee drinker, but I’m happy to be your creamer dealer.”

April wasn’t really surprised that Jack liked his coffee black. She took another sip as he turned back to the kitchen and began to fill two plates. The amount of food he put in front of her made April grin.

“I can’t eat all that.”

Jack simply shrugged. “Eat what you can. I’ll either finish the rest or put it in the fridge for later. Oh, and here’s your pain pill.”

“I thought I’d just take an over-the-counter pill,” she said.

But Jack shook his head. “Not today.”

“Jack,” April warned, but he held up a hand to stop her.

“This is your first full day out of the hospital. We’re going to the office. You’re going to be on your feet for longer today than you’ve been for an entire week. You’re going to need it. I have no problem with you weaning yourself off the painkillers, but today isn’t the day to start. I promised yesterday that I wouldn’t let you get addicted, and I’m not going back on that promise. After I was rescued, I tried to deny the painkillers for the same reason. I didn’t want to become reliant on them, but it was a mistake. I put myself through more pain than was necessary, and I don’t want you to do the same.”

In response, April reached for the pill he’d put on the table. She swallowed it down with her coffee and picked up her fork.

“Thank you for trusting me. I told you that I’d never hurt you, and I meant it. But I won’t let you hurt yourself either, if I can help it.”

This man. He was killing her. She also felt off kilter. She’d never been the recipient of this much . . . concern before. “Thanks,” she said after a moment.

Jack nodded, then pointed at her plate with his fork. “Eat, before it gets cold.”

She tilted her head. “You’re bossy,” she informed him, cutting off a piece of cinnamon roll nonetheless.

“Yup,” he said without remorse. “I learned from the best . . . you.”

“Me? I’m not bossy,” April countered.

Jack laughed. Hard. “Um, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you are. You boss me around all the time. And the rest of the guys. And the customers and our suppliers. Hell, you even boss Carlise, June, and Marlowe around. But it’s part of your charm, and we love you for it.”

April frowned. Was she really bossy? She wasn’t sure what to think about that revelation.

“It’s fine, hon. Promise. Now eat. We’ll do something with your hair, then get going.”

“My hair?”

“Yup.”

Again, he sounded as if what he’d said was completely normal. In her experience—that she could remember, that is—men didn’t concern themselves with a girlfriend’s hair. Her ex only mentioned hers when it was messy.

But since the food in front of her smelled and tasted so good, she was momentarily distracted by shoveling it in as fast as she could. To her surprise, she ate most of what Jack had put on her plate.

He smiled at her with satisfaction as he picked up the nearly empty plate and brought it to the sink.

“I can help clean up,” she told him.

But Jack merely shook his head and said, “I’ve got it. Why don’t you go and get your brush or comb or whatever, then bring it out here and sit on the couch. I’ll be there in a moment.”

April was once again confused. “Why?”

“Why what?” Jack asked, pausing to look at her.

“Why would I come back out here? I’ll just go brush it in the bathroom.”

With that, Jack put down the plate he was holding and wiped his hands on a dish towel hanging on the fridge. He walked toward her and put his hand on her shoulder. “It looks tangled, probably because I didn’t have the girly crap you needed for it in my shower. Sorry about that, by the way. I would’ve brought in your suitcase earlier, but I didn’t want to disturb you, and by the time I heard the water turn on in the shower, it was too late. Anyway, I don’t want you to hurt your head any more than necessary by tugging on those snarls, so I’ll help you. I’ll be gentle.”

“I can do it,” April whispered, once again overwhelmed by this man. She could hardly believe he was real.

“I know you can. But I can do it better,” he said with a wink.

April rolled her eyes. “Cocky much?” she asked.

He chuckled. “When it comes to things that I know I’m good at, yes.”

“So you’ve done this before? Brushed a woman’s hair?”

“Nope. Never. But since I’d rather cut off my hand than hurt you, I know I’ll figure it out. And I’ll probably be gentler than you will, because you’ll be impatient to get to the office, which means you’ll probably just rip out the snarls rather than gently trying to get the brush through them.”

Shoot, he wasn’t wrong. “Whatever,” she said with a roll of her eyes.

That only made Jack’s smile bigger. “Go on, I’ll meet you on the couch.”

April headed toward the bedroom door, but turned at the last minute. “Jack?”

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

“I don’t know what to do with this.”

“With what?”

“You.”

He nodded. “Just go with the flow, April.”

“I can’t help but wonder . . . have we only gotten to this point because I hurt myself? Because I can’t remember the way things were between us?” she blurted.

His smile disappeared in a heartbeat. He still stood on the other side of the room, but the intimacy between them was just as thick as it was last night when they were side by side on the couch, touching each other.

“Partly, yes. The part about your accident, that is,” he added quickly. “I realized what I’d almost lost. I was stupid not to act on my attraction to you before now. I don’t know what I was waiting for, but your accident made me realize how short life really is, and I decided I don’t want to waste any more time. But you temporarily losing your memory is not part of it. In fact, that part scares the crap out of me.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m afraid when you do remember, there’ll be an important reason why you didn’t want to be with me. Why you kept your distance. That you’ll resent me making a move when you were vulnerable.”

April wasn’t sure what to say to that. He had a point. Why hadn’t she asked him out? Why hadn’t she encouraged him to act on the obvious attraction they shared? Was there something she’d learned about him that she couldn’t remember right now, something that made her keep her distance?

“Go get your brush, hon,” Jack said.

Because she was so off kilter, she did as he asked, turning away from him. But not before she saw the look of hurt cross his face. She hated that she’d done that. He’d been nothing but gracious and kind, and she didn’t want to make him feel as if she wasn’t appreciative. Still . . . she couldn’t help but wonder what might have kept them apart before now.

It didn’t take long for her to grab the brush and head back out into the living room. Jack was waiting for her on the couch. He’d pushed the small coffee table out of the way, and now he gestured to the floor. “If you sit here, I can reach your hair easier,” he said.

Nodding, April eased herself onto the floor between his feet and held the brush out for him. His fingers caressed hers as he took it, and April swore she felt tingles all the way to her toes at the innocent touch.

But that was nothing compared to the tingles she felt when he ran his hand over her hair and gently removed the scrunchie she’d put in earlier. Then he carefully sifted his fingers through the damp strands, and April closed her eyes. His touch felt so good. Too good. Was there such a thing?

No one else had brushed her hair beyond a hairstylist, and that didn’t count because it never felt like this. Jack started at the ends, carefully brushing the strands before moving steadily toward her scalp. The rhythmic and gentle motions made her sigh in contentment. It was so relaxing, having his hands on her head.

She’d been worried that this would hurt, but she should’ve known better. Jack wouldn’t hurt her. She knew that down to her soul. Whatever connection they had, it made her trust him.

Before long, she realized the snarls were gone and Jack was simply brushing her hair for the pleasure of it.

“Jack?” she whispered, not opening her eyes.

The brush paused midstroke. “Yeah?”

“Whatever reason I might’ve had for not encouraging you to ask me out . . . it won’t matter. I know what I want now, and that’s you.”

She felt more than heard his exhalation.

“We’ll revisit this conversation when your memory returns.”

April shook her head and turned so her back was against one of his legs and looked up at him. “No, we won’t.”

He frowned.

“I’m not the same person I was before my accident.”

“Of course you are,” he said firmly.

“You said, and I quote, I was stupid not to act on my attraction to you before now. Your accident made me realize how short life really is, and I decided I don’t want to waste any more time. I feel the same way. There’s no way I would feel as close to you as I do, that I’d want you as much as I do, if I didn’t already feel that way before the accident. Whatever reason I had for not letting you know I was interested was equally stupid. I’m guessing my memory returning will only make me want you more, not less.”

Jack’s eyes closed as he sat there with his hands resting on his thighs. She could feel how tense he was against her back as he struggled to get his emotions under control. When his eyes opened, his gaze burned into her. “You’re too smart for your own good,” he said after a moment. “You love to throw my own words back at me.”

“Well, when you’re right, you’re right. And I’m guessing when you’re wrong, I have no problem making sure you know it.”

Jack smiled. “This is true. I hope to God you won’t walk away when you remember.”

“I won’t.” April was sure of that down to her toes. She’d be an idiot to walk away from this man. She’d been with him for less than a day, and he’d shown her more care and love than she’d ever received from anyone else. She desperately wanted to give him that care and love back tenfold.

“Right. How does your head feel? Still up for going into the office?” he asked.

“You trying to keep me from seeing how screwed up my domain has gotten in my absence?”

Jack burst out laughing. “Nope. You’ll figure that out sooner or later. Might as well bite the bullet and get it done.”

April smiled, then got serious. “I don’t remember anything about what my job entails,” she admitted nervously.

“You figured it out when you were first hired. I have no doubt you’ll pick it up just as fast now,” Jack said breezily, as if he didn’t have any concerns about her going back to work. “But you aren’t working today. You’re still healing. Carlise, June, and Marlowe are meeting us there, so I asked them to keep you distracted.”

“Distracted?”

“Yup. I know you. If you get behind that desk and the phone starts ringing, you’ll insist on figuring everything out today, and you’ll sit there as long as that takes. I want to ease you back into things.”

April couldn’t stop the small grin forming on her lips. Now that sounded more like her. “Okay.”

“Why don’t I trust that okay from you?” Jack asked.

“I don’t know. I’m perfectly innocent,” April sassed.

She loved the sound of Jack’s laugh. She got the feeling he didn’t do it enough. “Right. Up you go. Carlise put a pair of sneakers by the door. Find some socks and maybe a sweatshirt, because sometimes it gets cold in the office, and we’ll head on out.”

Jack pulled her upright but didn’t let go of her once she was on her feet. He ran a hand through her smooth locks and said more to himself than her, “I love the feel of your hair.” Then he gave her a sheepish grin and handed her the brush. “Go on, woman, stop wasting time.”

April rolled her eyes. They both knew he was the one who was procrastinating. But she kept her mouth shut and headed for the bedroom. It was weird how normal this all seemed. Living with Jack. Bantering back and forth. She even loved the serious conversations they’d had. Being honest felt refreshing and comfortable.

As much as she was looking forward to seeing Jack’s Lumber and hanging out with her friends, she couldn’t help but be a little sad she wouldn’t get to spend the day alone with Jack.