Chapter 9

nine

MADDOX

"There he is!"

It's Monday morning, which means I'm starting the day in the weight room. We have strength training for two hours, followed by conditioning. While it's tempting to slack off during the off-season, none of us do. Hockey seasons are long, grueling, and hell on a body. If you don't want to end up injured, you train all year.

I grunt at Griffin when he greets me with far too much energy. His hazel eyes twinkle with mischief and his floppy blond hair bounces. I swear Griffin Wright has Monster flowing through his veins instead of blood. "You're chipper this morning."

He chuckles, slapping me on the back. "Got laid last night. By twins."

Jesus.

"Shouldn't you be a bit more chipper? You had that date on Saturday." Griffin looks me up and down as if he can tell just by looking if I had sex. Byrne and Navarro wander over, greeting me with nods and smug smiles. They want to hear about my date, too, apparently.

"Didn't sleep with her." I don't want to talk about this with them. Or anyone. Ever. Saturday night was a disaster. If I tell them about it, I'll have to admit to being a total asshole. I'm sure they'll laugh, but they'll also give me a hard time for the rest of the week.

"Why not?" Byrne asks. "Was she ugly?"

"What? No." Isla definitely wasn't ugly. She was stunning, and that had been the problem.

Bash eyes me speculatively. His dark brown eyes don't miss much. "Then why the hell didn't you sleep with her? Was she a super-fan? Some kind of crazed stalker?"

That makes me chuckle. "Nope. She's never watched a hockey game in her life."

Griffin presses a palm to his chest, mouth falling open comically wide. "Blasphemy."

"I know, right? She told me she'd rather read a book than watch sports."

"I bet she reads some real kinky shit," Griff says as his eyes grow unfocused. "The chicks that read a lot always have the most shocking Kindle history. One time I went out with this quiet, adorably nerdy girl in college because one of my buddies dared me to, and I was not prepared. She tied me to her bed and rode me so hard I came in like two minutes. She tried to get me to let her peg me, but I wasn't into it." He sighs. "Best damn sex of my life."

Navarro, Byrne, and I all burst out laughing. Only Griffin Wright could have such a dreamy look on his face while talking about being pegged .

"Pegging, huh?" I chuckle. "I'm surprised you didn't go for it."

Wright shrugs. "I let her finger my prostate a few times, but a strap-on just felt too impersonal."

"Totally," Navarro says with a roll of his eyes before he turns back to me. "So, tell us about it."

"I wasn't there when Wright's girl fingered his asshole."

"Christ." Bash groans. "Tell us about your date, Graves. Stop stalling and spill it."

Loading weights onto a bar, I set up my station and avoid making eye contact with any of them. "It was fine. She was nervous. We ate food, I signed a few autographs. Nothing to write home about."

"Waaait," Sebastian says, drawing out the word. "What do you mean, you signed autographs? Like, you signed merch for her or something?"

I rub the back of my neck. "Uh, no. I didn't actually sign anything for her."

"Then what the hell do you mean you signed a few autographs?" He stares at me, and when I can't meet his gaze, he pinches the bridge of his nose. "Please tell me you didn't sign autographs while you were on a date with the poor woman."

My silence is confession enough, and Navarro groans. "Dude. That's shitty."

"I know," I say a little too loudly. "Trust me, I know. I'm going to be paying for it, too."

All three of them watch me with raised brows, waiting for an explanation. Dammit.

"I had to bribe her to stay until the end of the date and tell the reporter I was a nice guy. "

Silence stretches out between us for a beat, then they bend over, shaking with laughter. It earns us looks from the rest of the team, and I hiss at them to shut up. The last thing I need is for Coach to hear about this.

"Yeah, you have to tell the whole story now," Byrne says through bouts of laughter. "And then we're going to go out tonight so I can teach you how to treat a woman."

"Shut up," I grumble. But I tell them everything. Every last embarrassing detail. They howl with laughter again and again, and I'm pissed and red-faced by the end.

"Oh, god," Wright wheezes. "I think that's the best thing I've ever heard. You're lucky she didn't stab you in the dick with her steak knife."

I cup my junk. "Yeah, yeah. I know."

"And here I thought you had at least some game," Logan drawls. "Now I'm wondering if you just end up with pity lays."

"I do not need pity lays." I nearly growl. "You guys suck. I never should have told you."

"Do you have a picture of her?" Sebastian asks.

"I do." Not sure I want to show them, though. When I'd taken a few selfies with Isla so she could use them to make her ex jealous, I'd snapped a couple of my own with my phone. I told her I needed it as proof so I could show my coach the night was a success. Truthfully, I just wanted to look at her again. She really was beautiful, and once I pulled my head out of my ass, I enjoyed conversing with her. In the end, I found myself wishing for more time.

Logan cocks an eyebrow at me. "You going to show us, or what?"

With a deep sigh, I tug my phone out of my pocket and open the photo of us. She's small, tucked into my side, and her smile is breathtaking. She's exactly the kind of woman who lights my insides on fire, and my guys know it the moment I flip the phone around to show them.

"Well, shit, Graves." Wright stares at her. "You're a fucking dumbass."

"I know."

"Damn." Navarro gives me a pitying look. "You gonna try to get her number from the team or something? Ask her for a chance to make up for things?"

"I don't need to." I enjoy their looks of confusion. "I have her number."

"How?" they ask in unison.

"I, uh, I kind of bribed her to finish the date by agreeing to speak to her high school students at an assembly."

"She's a teacher?" Wright's eyes gleam. "Hot damn, she can keep me in detention any day."

The smack I give him upside his head rings out in the weight room.

"What the hell, man?"

"Don't be gross," I say.

Bash's mouth goes slack. "You like her. You actually ended up liking her."

Leave it to Navarro to put it all out there, whether or not I want him to. "I misjudged her. I feel bad, that's all."

"Uh-huh. I'm sure that's it."

"It. Is."

"And how many times have you almost texted her?" Bash grins.

"None," I reply. Adding of your business in my head. Because yeah, I almost texted her. A few times. Just to say sorry, though. There wasn't any other reason .

"Ho-ly shit." Griffin laughs. "You screwed yourself over good, didn't you?"

I did. I really did. There's no way Isla Harding will want anything to do with me outside of our agreement to speak at her school. I don't stand a chance with the woman after the way I treated her.

"Do you actually want to have a shot with her?" Byrne asks seriously.

Do I? I may. I don't know. All I'm sure of is that I screwed up. I feel terrible about it, and I wish I could make it up to her. Is there a part of me that wonders if we could have had some deep connection had I not sabotaged the evening? Sure. Of course, I do. But what's the likelihood Isla Harding could have been the one ?

I'm not even sure I believe in all of that soulmate bullshit. My mom never found hers. My dad was too much of a bastard to care if he found his, and I sure as hell can't look to the guys around me for examples of love and healthy relationships.

"Pretty sure I blew any chance of having a shot with Isla," I say to Logan. "Besides, she probably looked me up the minute she got home and saw all the bullshit Candace and Georgia said about me. Even if she had the slightest interest in me before that, I doubt she does now."

It's so easy for people to buy into their bullshit. It's another reason I haven't dated in a couple of years. If women know about me, they're only interested in casual sex. Nice girls run in the other direction when they see me coming.

The Gravedigger. Jesus.

I shake my head. It doesn't matter what Isla Harding or any other woman thinks about me. I'm done with relationships. It's too hard to tell a woman's intentions when there's money and fame on the line. Hell, the last time I was certain a girl liked me for me was all the way back in high school. I was a different person then.

"So what you're saying is she's fair game and I can ask the team for her number and bang the teacher?" Griffin watches me intently. "Because damn, I'm imagining her in a tight little pencil skirt, a half-unbuttoned blouse, thick-rimmed glasses, and a ruler in her hand. She could bend me over a desk and spank my ass any day of the week."

"Dude," Navarro warns.

I lunge for Wright. He laughs, spinning out of my reach.

"Take it outside, assholes," Coach shouts before my fist can connect with Griff's gut.

"Okay, okay." Wright laughs, his palms up in surrender. "I won't bang your teacher."

"She's not mine," I grumble.

"No," Griffin says with a smirk. "But you want her to be."

And dammit, he's right. I do. Too bad it'll never happen.