Chapter 48

forty-eight

ISLA

I hate him. I hate Alex. I'm full of so much rage that I flay him alive with my eyes while I manage to keep my voice flat and lifeless. I want him to understand how stupid everything he's saying is. How much I think he's an idiot.

So I intone words I don't mean while I roll my eyes and glare. I tell Alex lie after ridiculous lie while I mock him with my eyes.

"I'll admit it. At first, I didn't think things would go anywhere with Maddox. He didn't seem all that interested. But with a little luck and some meddling from Jess and Nev, I managed to get his attention. And you're right. He's rich. Way richer than you could ever hope to be. And unlike you, he makes me come. That's all a girl needs, isn't it? Money and a big dick? I should thank you for dumping me. If you hadn't, I never would have landed such a lucrative catch. "

I roll my eyes again and stand with my arms crossed over my chest. It makes me nauseous to even voice such disgusting lies, but Alex needs to understand how absolutely ridiculous his assertions are. I glare at the self-centered asshole I wasted too many years on. He's silent. Fuming.

Alex shifts his weight from one foot to the other, trying to decide how to respond. He clearly didn't expect me to act like this. I'll bet he thought I'd throw myself at his feet and beg him for a second chance.

Moron.

The silence stretches on. I've had enough. "Maddox Graves is ten million times the man you'll ever be, Alex. I wouldn't care if he was broke and waited tables for a living. I don't give a shit about his fame or his money . Because I'm not a soulless, selfish, grasping little weasel like you."

Alex's jaw ticks. His face flushes a deep, angry red. "You're such a bitch."

I bark out a harsh laugh. "He'd also never call me a name like that."

My ex rolls his eyes.

"It's time for you to leave. Get the hell out of my classroom and get the hell out of my life. I never want to see your face or hear from you again, understand? I'm done with you." I point to the door. "Goodbye, Alex. And good riddance."

"You'll regret this," Alex snarls, snatching the mocha he brought me from my desk and hurling it into the trash. The lid pops off and thick, brown liquid splatters across the side of my desk.

"I regret wasting even a single moment on you," I reply. " But kicking you out of my life for good? I'll never regret that. Fuck off and have the life you deserve."

With another inarticulate snarl, Alex stomps out of my classroom. When I'm sure he's gone, I sink into my chair. My hands shake as the adrenaline leaves my body and I sit in stunned silence for a few minutes.

I can't believe that just happened. I never thought Alex would have the nerve to show up here and pull a stunt like that.

My mind turns to Maddox. I wish he was here. What I would give to have him pull me into a tight hug right about now… With shaking fingers, I pick up my phone and tap on our text thread. I debate calling him. I want to tell him everything. But after a few moments of consideration, decide against it. Maddox has been stressed, and I know he's feeling pressured to perform by his coach, his teammates, and the fans. I don't want to throw him off before their game tomorrow. Especially not when I took care of things. It's not like there's anything he can do about it either way.

No, I'll wait until after their game tomorrow to tell him what happened. Plus, it will give me some time to calm down and sort through my feelings.

My fingers fly across the screen. I can't tell Maddox what happened with Alex just yet, but I crave that connection with him. It's a quick text, but it'll have to hold me over until he stops by tonight and I can throw myself into his arms.

The bell rings as I hit send, and students fill the hallways.

Me

I miss you.

I stare at the screen, willing him to respond, pushing down my disappointment when he doesn't by the time the first students filter into my room. Tucking the phone into my purse, I do my best to push past the drama of my lunch hour. To ignore the growling of my stomach and the nerves that still sing with residual adrenaline.

I just have to get through the next four hours, then I get to see Maddox. Four more hours, and he'll chase away the craziness of the day. Because Maddox Graves is my safe place. And I want nothing more than to hide away in his arms for a few hours.

Despite my best efforts not to, my eyes bounce to the time. Again.

Maddox should be here. Should have been here an hour and a half ago. I've texted him three times already, and I'm worried. What if he got into a car accident or something on the way over?

Desperate to make sure he's okay, I call him this time. It goes straight to voicemail.

"Hey." My voice wavers. "It's six o'clock and I'm worried. I know you have to be at the airport at eight. I just want to make sure you're not hurt or something. Please call me back." I suck in a shaky breath. "I miss you."

Once I end the call, I stare at my phone, willing it to light up with his name. It doesn't. Twenty minutes of radio silence later, I text Mira. I wish I had Griffin' s number, or any of Maddox's teammates' numbers, because they're more likely to know if he's okay than someone in another state, but I don't.

Me

Hey. Have you heard from your brother today?

Thankfully, her answer comes quickly.

Mira

No, why? Everything okay?

Me

IDK. He was supposed to meet me at my place almost two hours ago and I can't get ahold of him. I'm worried. I don't have any of the guys' numbers, so I can't check with them.

Don't worry. I'm sure everything is fine. Give me a minute and I'll make a couple of calls, okay?

Okay. Thank you. I'm just so worried.

I know. Just breathe. I'm sure he's okay.

Wringing my hands, I pace my living room while I wait for her to get back to me. My eyes flicker to the door every few seconds.

But he doesn't appear.

A few minutes later, my phone buzzes on the coffee table, and I rush to read the text.

Mira

Maddy is fine. Griffin said his phone died and something came up? He promised to have my brother text you.

Relief floods my body, and I collapse on the couch. He's okay. Thank god.

Me

Thanks, Mira. I feel like I can breathe again.

Mira

I'm sorry he worried you. I'll kick his ass when I see him.

No, don't do that. I just wish I could hug him right now.

He's lucky to have you.

IDK. I think I'm the lucky one.

You two are so cute. GTG, my asshole ex is being a dick. Talk soon.

Can't wait for you to move here.

Same, girl, same.

Maddox doesn't call until I'm lying in bed that night. It's after eleven. I've been tossing and turning for an hour. Sleep simply will not come. Which may have something to do with the fact that my eyes keep popping open to check my phone. When it finally rings, I'm so anxious to answer it I nearly drop the damned thing on the floor.

"Maddox, hey. I was so worried about you today."

There's a long pause. "My phone died. Sorry. "

Chewing on my bottom lip, I shift onto my side. Is his tone weird? "That's okay. I'm just glad you're all right." I pause for a moment, but when he doesn't say anything, I plow on, needing to fill the strangely awkward silence. "What happened? You were supposed to come over today before your flight."

"Something came up," he says flatly. I wait for him to explain. He doesn't. My stomach flips uncomfortably.

"Are you… Is everything okay? Did something happen?"

The soft rustle of fabric fills the line. "Don't worry about me. How was your day?"

The cold tone of Maddox's voice has my stomach tying itself into knots. I don't understand why he's speaking this way. I don't understand why he seems so reluctant to talk to me. To tell me about his day. Or why he didn't come over. It has me so out of sorts that I don't answer right away.

"Tell me about your day," he prompts again.

My mind goes to Alex showing up out of nowhere. After he left, I made sure everyone knew he was never to be allowed back in the school. I don't know who let him in, but if I ever see him at Center High again, we're going to have issues. I'm tempted to just blurt it all out and tell Maddox what happened because he always seems to put things into perspective for me. And, sure, there's a small part of me that revels knowing that it will probably make Maddox all possessive. Which is hot.

But I'm determined not to throw him off his game. And besides, something is clearly bothering him. I don't want to add my issues on top of whatever it is.

"My day was long," I tell him. It's not a lie. Every hour felt like two. "Otherwise it was fine. Just another day, you know?"

Another day, another douchebag.

Maddox is silent. "Just another day?"

I hum my agreement.

"I'm sure something must have stood out, right? You've got to have some kind of story for me."

My brows knit together. I wish Maddox were here lying beside me so I could read his expression. Because something is up with him. I just can't figure out what based on the tone of his voice. I clear my throat. "Is something wrong?"

"You tell me." His voice rumbles through the phone.

"I… I don't know what's happening right now." My lower lip aches from chewing it and my stomach rolls. Whatever is going on, I'm completely lost in the dark. I feel like I've missed something important. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Listen, if you don't have anything you need to talk to me about, I gotta go. The guys are making me go out with them."

"Oh." My chest tightens and my eyes fill with tears. "Yeah. Of course."

I want to demand he tell me what's going on. I want to ask him why he's being so short and cold with me.

But I don't. Because I'm terrified I already know the answer.

It's why he didn't take me to the fall festival, despite what he said. It's why Alex left me behind so easily. Maddox just seems to have come to the same conclusion more quickly.

I'm not good enough.

Know what else I'm not? Brave. Which is why I don't yell at Maddox and demand that he talk to me. Why I don't beg him to be honest.

Because I'm a coward.

And I'm not ready to lose him.

The words I love you tingle on the tip of my tongue. Like sweet poison I can't find the strength to expel.

His ragged breathing cuts through the speaker and saws through my chest.

"Maddox?"

He takes long enough to respond that I think he may not answer. "Yeah."

"I…" My damned tongue goes numb. "Have fun with the guys. Talk to you tomorrow?"

"We have a really full day tomorrow. Don't know if I'll have time to call you."

The first tear rolls down my cheek. I want to scream.

But all I can muster is a whisper.

"Okay. Have a good game tomorrow. I miss you."

I hold my breath, waiting for him to reply in kind. He doesn't. He doesn't say anything at all.

He simply hangs up.