Chapter 14

fourteen

ISLA

Last night was… unexpected.

I woke with thoughts of Maddox Graves dancing through my head, and I stare at the ceiling while replaying the evening for the hundredth time. Ending up alone at Skin and Tonic. That asshole, Blake. Maddox and his teammates.

Jess and Nevaeh have both texted me already this morning, but I haven't answered because I don't know what to say. I lied and told them I never made it to the bar, but I can't keep this from them. Jess works with Blake's company. She's bound to hear about our run in. But I'm not sure how much I want to tell them. I need some time to think.

My mind wanders to Maddox and the way he stepped in and gave me an easy out last night. How did he even know to intervene? Did I look as uncomfortable as I felt? And why had he been watching me? It's not like he's interested, so maybe it was morbid curiosity? Or maybe I just looked so much less put together and fancy than I had on our date that he'd been staring at me and thanking his lucky stars he'd never have to date a mess like me again. But if that was the case, why did he jump in and help me? Did his friends ask him to?

My phone buzzes again. Sighing, I unlock the screen. They won't let me ignore them much longer. Except, the text isn't from either of my best friends.

Maddox

Hey, this is Maddox. I hope it's okay that I'm texting you. I wanted to make sure you were okay after last night.

Confused butterflies take flight in my stomach. They're like delicate bumper cars with wings banging into each other. I'm simultaneously touched and confused. Maddox and I exchanged numbers to set up the assembly, but I never thought he'd text just to check up on me. I… don't know how to feel.

Not letting myself overthink things, I type up a quick reply because it would be rude to ignore him. Plus, after what he did last night, I can't seem to see him as nothing more than the self-absorbed jerk who made me feel like I was worthless. All of this is very confusing.

Me

I'm okay. A little tired, but that's because I slept funny. It could be worse. There could have been monsters under my bed.

I stare at the screen as those three little dots blink to life almost immediately. I didn't expect him to be waiting next to the phone for my reply. And why does that elicit such conflicting feelings in my body? My chest is tight, the way it is any time I'd texted Alex after we split, but those butterflies are still flying winged bumper cars around in my stomach.

Maybe it's because I'm not sure who Maddox Graves actually is.

Is he the selfish man I met on our first date? Is he the white knight riding in to rescue me like he was last night? Or is he something else entirely? Some nebulous mix of the two?

Get a grip, Isla. This doesn't mean anything. And you don't want it to.

Maddox

Thank goodness for that. Sorry the bodyguard service wasn't in time to save you from having to deal with that asshole last night.

Me

Ugh. Yeah. He was the worst.

Two crappy dates in two weeks. I'm sorry. And I want to apologize again for being the reason the first one was so bad.

He wasn't a date. He recognized me from a picture my best friend had on her desk. Creepy, right? And you don't need to keep apologizing. I forgive you. Especially after last night.

I'm startled to realize how true that statement is. I may not know what to think about Maddox, but I have forgiven him. The way he stepped in at Skin and Tonic, the way he carried me out to his car when I fell asleep in the bar, the way he checked out my apartment to make sure it was safe… He's quite a few levels above Alex and Blake in my estimations.

He carried me out to his car.

The thought truly hits me for the first time, and a hot flush crawls across my skin. No one has ever carried me somewhere when I fell asleep. Not since I was a little girl. Alex would just poke me on the cheek and tell me I could either walk myself to bed or sleep on the couch. If he woke me at all. More often than not, I'd wake up groggy the next morning with a pinched nerve in my neck and Alex snoring peacefully in our bed. Like he couldn't even be bothered to wake me.

Maddox

That IS creepy. Are you sure it wasn't a setup?

Me

No, they wouldn't do that to me. Just a weird, unfortunate coincidence.

Well, I'm glad you weren't alone with him long. He was a douche. My friends wanted to kick his ass.

LOL! Yeah, he was the worst. Honestly, part of me would have loved to watch them make him cry.

Got a bit of a violent streak?

IDK. Never thought I did, but then again, I love action movies.

You should come to one of our games. It's like an action movie on ice.

Sounds cold.

I'll hook you up with a Rogues hoodie and hat. I think we have some branded fleece blankets… I'll get you one of those, too.

My heart thrums. He wants me to come to one of their games? He didn't say much last night when his teammates tried to convince me to go. I thought he was indifferent. Now he's offering to buy me warm gear, and I don't know what to make of it.

Me

Are you trying to bribe me?

Maddox

Maybe. Is it working?

Maybe.

There's a pause, that little ellipsis flashing, then disappearing, flashing, then disappearing. For some reason, I'm holding my breath.

Maddox

The guys would be excited if you came to a game.

Aaand my stomach twists. Of course, it's not that he wants me to go. It's that his friends do. Not that I care. I don't, because Maddox Graves is not the kind of man I need to develop feelings for. Even if he did rescue me and carried me princess-style like I weighed ten pounds.

Me

It would be fun to see them again. Well, I should go. I have errands to run. Have a good day. Thanks again for last night.

Maddox

You don't need to thank me. Have a good day.

Once again, I'm staring at my ceiling, twisted up with confusion. For a few minutes, it seemed like Maddox was flirting with me. Then he invited me to a game because his teammates want me there? That shouldn't bother me, but it does.

I let out a frustrated growl. "Why are men so freaking confusing?"

My only answer is the buzz of my phone. This time it's not Maddox.

Jess

Hey, girl. We're so sorry about last night. Did you end up doing anything fun?

Nev

Lunch today?

Unable to avoid them any longer, I start typing. My thumbs are about to get a workout.

MADDOX

We make it through training before the guys bring her up. Feeling out of sorts, I ask them to skate with me after our time in the weight room. We don't hit the rink often during the off-season, but nothing clears my head like flying over the ice. Usually. It's not as effective as I need it to be today.

"Dude, where's your head at?" Byrne lightly hip checks me after I miss yet another shot. We don't even have anyone manning the goal, so it's even more pathetic than if we were scrimmaging.

"I know," Griffin sings as he skates in circles around us like some annoying ice fairy. "He's thinking about a certain red-haired TILF."

I growl. "I fucking told you not to call her that." I hold my stick out to trip him, but the shithead laughs and hops it.

"Touchy, touchy." Griffin shimmies his shoulders. "Did you spend the rest of the weekend rocking blue balls? Because she's hot, man. I considered rubbing one out to her, but I doubted you'd appreciate me thinking about your woman that way."

"Jesus," Bash says with a shake of his head. "Smooth, Griff."

"She's not my woman." They all look at me funny because I sound put out by that fact. "Isla's not interested in me. I blew any chance of that on our date last week."

Logan side-eyes me. "You sure about that?"

Am I sure? Yes. They didn't see her face that night. The only reason she gave me the time of day at Skin and Tonic was because I helped her out of a sticky situation. Probably didn't hurt that the guys were there, too. They're a good buffer. "Yep."

"I don't know," Bash considers me. "If you really blew it as badly as you think, I doubt she would have hung around with us at the bar."

"She was nervous to leave." I can't let myself think she was showing any interest. We're about to head into the preseason, and I won't have time for any relationship, let alone a new one. Even if there is something about her.

"She fell asleep on your shoulder."

Pursing my lips, I shake my head at Navarro. "That doesn't mean anything. She was tired."

"She could have dozed off with her head on Griff's shoulder, but she didn't. She fell asleep on yours."

"You're reading into this."

"Maybe," Navarro agrees. "But you are distracted. Are you really trying to convince us it has nothing to do with Isla?"

Yes. That's exactly what I'm trying to do. Because I need to convince myself, too. "It doesn't have anything to do with her."

"Uh huh," Griffin sings. He brings his stick to his face and acts like he's making out with it. "Oh, Isla. I'm so glad you gave me another chance. I want to make sweet, sweet love to you. Have my babies. We'd make adorable, grumpy little redheads together." He thrusts his hips against the stick, egged on by Logan and Sebastian's laughter.

"Oh yeah, baby. I love that you don't care that I have a small dick. And that I can only last ten seconds before I blow my load." His hip thrusts become more exaggerated. "That's it, baby. God, you're so hot." He pulls away from the stick, his mouth opening into a look of shock. "Griffin? Why are you crying out his name while I'm buried inside of you? You know what? I don't even care. I know Griff's better than me in every way, so I don't mind if you scream his name while we're naked."

That's it. Putting on a burst of speed, I race toward Griffin and push the annoying bastard down as hard as I can. He lets out a little shout of surprise before he's sprawled out on the ice, stick still clutched in one hand. He guffaws loudly before resting the stick on the ice and humping it.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Wright."

"Nah, man, I wouldn't fuck Jesus. But if you're seriously not going to make a move on Isla, I might try to fuck her."

Navarro shakes his head. "Wrong thing to say."

Before he can react with more than a bark of laughter, I throw myself on top of Griff and throw a few half-hearted hits to his gut. Logan's cracking up, his phone in hand as he records us, and Bash has the exasperated face of a parent whose children are quickly eroding his last nerve.

"Uncle," Griff yells, laughing. "Fucking uncle!" He's still laughing as I extend a hand and help him to his feet. I'm laughing too. It's hard not to when Wright gets going. The man doesn't take much of anything seriously outside of hockey.

"You two done?" Logan taps his phone before stuffing it in his back pocket. We both nod. "Good. Then let's figure out how we can help Graves get the girl."

I scrub a hand through my hair. "What makes you think I want the girl?" I do want her. I just don't want to.

I haven't done relationships since Candace sold her fake version of events to that tabloid, and I have no intention of starting now. I'll enjoy a woman for a night when the urge becomes too strong to ignore, but that's all it ever is. One night of mutual pleasure, no strings, no feelings, no expectations.

The thing is, I don't think Isla Harding is a one-night- stand kind of woman. She strikes me as a woman who wants romance, late nights in bed talking, friendship, and depth. That all became clear when she spoke about her job and her students. When I realized I'd read her so wrong. She's not some vain girl chasing someone to pay her way. She's real and beautiful and driven, and she deserves someone else like that.

But I can't be that guy for her. Not that she'd want me to be. I've sworn off relationships, and for good reason.

"Dude, maybe you're fooling yourself into thinking you don't want her," Logan says while rolling his eyes. "But you're sure as hell not fooling us."

"She's pretty," I say. As if that explains it all.

Griffin chuckles. "Yeah. She's also feisty and cool. She's not afraid to put you in your place, and she's funny. She's not some single-minded puck bunny who only cares about snagging a hockey player. In fact, I doubt she's impressed by your job at all. You think we don't realize how attractive that must make her to you?"

When I don't answer, Navarro cuts in. "It's okay to take a chance on someone, man. Not everyone is going to betray you."

He's right, I know he is. The problem is the last two women I let myself feel anything for did just that. Now I worry my ability to pick a good woman is broken. Something in me must be broken. If it wasn't, would it have been so easy for Candace and Georgia to sell me out like that?

"I'm not ready to take a chance on anyone."

Bash squeezes my shoulder. "Okay, man. Maybe she could be a friend. Kinda seems like she might need one as much as you do. "

"Yeah," Logan says. "What's her story, anyway?"

"She mentioned a bad breakup, but I don't know outside of that. Not even sure when it happened. It's why her friends did the date auction. To get her out of her funk." I shake my head, banishing the intrusive thoughts that start popping up, unbidden. Thoughts of what Isla's lips would taste like. What her body would feel like pressed against mine. What it would be like to wake up next to her every morning. I can't let myself go down the rabbit hole like that with any woman. But especially not one who needs a sensitive, attentive guy who can give her the time and attention she deserves.

I'm not that guy.

"So be her friend, Madds. She's cool, and you could use a reminder that not all women are backstabbing narcissists." Navarro slaps a puck into the goal.

"I don't think all women are like that."

Bash's eyebrows rise. "Your mom and sister don't count."

Well, he's got me there. Not that I'll admit it.

"Why don't you start by inviting her to one of our preseason games?" Logan asks. "It would be a good low-pressure way to spend some time with her. See if there's anything there."

"I kind of already did," I admit. They're all silent for a minute before Griffin speaks.

"What do you mean, kind of?"

"No, I did invite her."

He doesn't look convinced. "What exactly did you say to her?"

I rub the back of my neck. "I told her she should come to one of our games. She said it sounded cold, so I told her I'd hook her up with some Rogues gear to keep her warm, and I told her you guys would like it if she came."

Three sets of eyes pin me to the ice. Their faces twist in varying expressions of disbelief. Byrne's the first one to speak.

"Hold up. You told Isla that we would like it if she came to a game?"

Fuck. I knew they'd pick up on that. I regretted the words the moment they tapped their way out of my fingertips. And when it took Isla longer to respond to that text than the others, I knew I'd screwed up.

"Dude." Griffin shakes his head. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"You told her you wanted her to come too, right?" Sebastian eyes me critically. It's virtually impossible to lie to the guy. He's too perceptive by half, so I don't attempt it.

"Uh, not really."

Logan shakes his head. "You used to have game."

I did. I do . Just apparently not with Isla.

Bash shoves Logan to get him to shut up. "You can still fix this."

"There's nothing to fix," I tell him. Frustration bubbles inside of my chest. Frustration with Candace and Georgia for giving me reason to shut myself off from other women, at myself for letting them get the best of me, and at Isla for making me wish I hadn't built such high walls around myself. And even though they don't deserve it, I'm annoyed at the guys for making me confront all of those feelings.

"You don't believe that."

"Come on, Bash, do you actually think she'll want anything to do with me after how I treated her on our date and then said that to her? I blew it, man. It's better if I just accept it."

"Is it, though?"

Crap. I don't even believe that. How can I expect them to?

Closing my eyes, I shut out their incredulous faces. "I don't know how to fix this."

"Good thing you've got us to help you." Logan rubs his hands together. He looks like a cartoon villain plotting world domination. "This will be fun."