57. Leilani

With Baxter towering beside me like a silent guardian angel and the two lots of evidence I had, the police took me way more seriously. We spoke to a detective this time, which helped. He was kind and calm, listening carefully and writing notes while I spoke.

As I left the station with Baxter and Rachel flanking me, I felt lighter somehow.

Harvey’s cutting words and vicious snarling have slipped away. Even talking about the rape this time was somehow easier. It wasn’t pleasant, but I was able to recount that party in more detail than I ever had. I was able to talk about it without fighting the urge to puke all over the desk.

Detective Callahan assured me he would be following through on this, and I could leave it with him. Rachel insisted that he keep me updated, her usually mousy voice firm and unrelenting.

I guess people can surprise you.

Baxter holds the door for me, and I slip into his car. Rachel climbs in the back and buckles up, resting her head against the window with a tired sigh. I get it. I’m exhausted too.

“Thank you both,” I croak, then clear my throat and try again. “I really appreciate you being there with me.”

“Of course.” Rachel leans forward to squeeze my shoulder. “You can always count on us.”

I look over my shoulder with a watery smile, then glance at Baxter. “Do you think Asher’s okay?”

He grunts, his left shoulder hitching. “I think he was about ready to kill his cousin, but I doubt he’ll go that far.” After reversing out of the parking space, he changes gears and spares me a glance. “He really loves you. Never seen the guy so protective before. I’m pretty sure he’d do anything for ya.”

I wince. “That’s partly what I’m afraid of. He’s willing to give up everything for me, and I can’t help feeling guilty about that.”

“Don’t waste your emotion on guilt. It’s not your fault his cousin’s a shithead.”

“It’s not his either,” I mumble. “And his decision to stand by me affects everyone at Hockey House too.” Rubbing my forehead with a shaky sigh, I feel the tension starting to build again.

“Look, at the end of the day, he wants you more than all of his family bullshit and… and so do we. Love can make people do crazy shit, but it also helps them figure out what’s worth fighting for.”

My lips part. I’m not sure I’ve ever heard Baxter say so many words in one go. I wonder if he’s even aware of it.

Rachel shifts in the back seat, leaning forward as if transfixed by the marvel of what is happening right now.

“If Asher loves you, we all do. Hockey House is a family, and you’re part of that now. If we get kicked out on our asses, we’ll get up, brush ourselves off, and find someplace else to live.”

I give him a weak smile. “I just don’t want this to pull you guys apart.”

He snickers and shakes his head. “We’re stronger than that.”

I blink, then glance in the back. Rachel looks like she’s ready to cry. She has the biggest smile on her face as she gazes at Baxter in awe.

Seriously. This is like a phenomenon.

I wonder how far I can push it.

“Do you have a girlfriend who you’d do anything for?”

His jaw clenches, and he shakes his head.

Glancing at Rachel again, she gives me an eager nod, so I keep going. “I was just wondering if there’s anybody you’ll ever bring into the Hockey House family.”

“Nope.” He shakes his head more firmly this time.

“So, you want to stay a bachelor for the rest of your life?” Rachel’s voice pitches with surprise.

He doesn’t say anything, and I study the side of his face. “Is it that you… don’t like… girls?”

He throws me a side-eye. “I like girls.”

“Okay, so… what’s with the look on your face, then? Why are you so determined to stay single?”

He clenches his jaw, his shoulder hitching.

“Oh, wait.” My eyes round. “Have you been burned before? Is that it?”

His nostrils flare slightly, and I know I’m probing, so I try to throw the attention back on me for a moment.

“I get it. After what happened to me, I was determined to stay single for the rest of my life. I didn’t want anybody, and I wasn’t going to fall for some guy. I wouldn’t let myself be that weak. But…” I let out a soft laugh. “Asher was meant to be mine, and every time I tried to fight it, I just felt worse. And then I finally let go… and it’s been amazing.”

“Same for me and Liam.” Rachel grins, her smile dreamy. “When love comes a-knocking…”

“Do you girls have a point, or are you just trying to make me feel like shit?” Baxter grumbles.

“No.” Rachel’s eyes bulge. “That’s not what we’re trying to do at all. We just… If there’s someone out there you want, well, we’re just saying you should go for it.” She looks to me for backup, and I clear my throat and angle my body to face him.

“She’s right. We don’t know what’s happened to you in the past, but if there’s any way we can help you get over it…” I leave the statement hanging, hoping he’ll fill the space, but he doesn’t, so I try for a different angle. “Or maybe there’s a special person who you’re too shy to connect with? I mean, could we help?”

He glances across at me, his shoulders deflating. “You’re not gonna let up on this unless I spill, are you?”

I give him an apologetic smile, then shake my head. “You don’t have to tell us. We just… want you to be happy.”

“I am happy.”

“Well, we want you to be even happier.” Rachel beams from the back seat. “Come on, Bax. Let us in. We won’t tell the guys if you don’t want us to. We just want to know if the big, quiet goalie has himself a love interest.”

She wiggles her eyebrows, looking adorably cute… enough to make Baxter’s lips twitch. “No love interest, because…” His face washes with the saddest frown, his voice soft and broken when he finally admits, “I can’t have the one I want. She’s in love with someone else and they’re married now, and…” He shrugs. “I’ll never meet anyone else like her, so… I’ll stay in my cave. I like my cave.” His voice is getting gruff now, which makes it hard to believe him.

“What’s her name?” Rachel whispers. “Does she go to Nolan?”

“No, she’s from my hometown.” He shakes his head, his expression turning gooey as he whispers, “And her name’s Tamara Tan.” The nostalgic smile on his face tells me he’s walking back to a sweet time in his memory. I don’t know if he had her once and lost her or if he loved her from afar and didn’t act before she was taken by someone else.

I want to ask, but I don’t want to push it. I just want to let Baxter hang out with his sweet memory for a while.

Sharing a look with Rachel, we settle back in our seats and drive the rest of the way home in silence. By the time we get back to the house, Baxter’s gone into hiding again. He quietly gets out of the car and waits for us to shut our doors before locking it.

I trail in behind him and find the whole crew lingering in the lounge. The atmosphere is subdued, and Baxter takes his leave without a word, darting down to his room before I can thank him again for taking me. Fezzik scampers after him, his little nails clicking over the entryway as he chases his favorite person in the house.

Liam’s the first to notice us and bolts out of his chair, coming over to wrap his arm around Rachel, and Caroline gasps when she sees me, running across to envelop me in a fierce hug that makes it hard to breathe.

“I just heard what happened,” she wails in my ear.

“How?”

“I spoke to Asher,” Ethan pipes up.

I gaze across the room at him. “Is he okay?”

“Should be home any minute.”

Turning for the entryway, I’m tempted to wait for him outside, but the door clicks open before I reach it and Asher walks in looking wrecked.

“Baby,” I whisper, launching myself against him.

He holds me tight, kissing the side of my head and murmuring into my ear, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” I sniff and briefly update him.

He tells me I did good, rubbing my back and comforting me when I should be the one comforting him.

Wrapping my arm around his waist, I walk with him to the living area, where everyone’s looking at him expectantly.

“It was shit,” he tells us. “But I did get to punch him a couple times, so…” He holds up his hand, showing off his red knuckles, and Casey stands, giving him a serious look before starting a slow clap.

Asher closes his eyes with a pained frown. “Don’t fucking slow clap, man. We’re probably gonna get kicked out of Hockey House.”

“I gotta do this,” Casey argues. “You’re a fucking legend, dude.”

Asher’s eyes pop open, and he glances around the room in surprise. I’m sure he was expecting disappointment and anger, but all I’m seeing are nods of understanding and approval.

Soon, Rachel gets in on the clapping, and then Liam joins in too.

“Is this the cheesiest moment we’ve ever experienced?” Mick asks the room before joining in on the clapping and then throwing in a whistle as well.

“Puck yeah!” Ethan laughs and starts whooping and clapping as well.

Asher shakes his head. “So fucking cheesy, you guys.” But he looks ready to cry.

They love him, and I think he’s starting to see just how much.

Reaching up on my tiptoes, I press my nose into his cheek, then kiss him when he turns his head. My fingers thread through his dark locks and I hold him against me, hoping he can feel how much I love him too.