47. Leilani

Grabbing her bag, Mikayla flings it over her shoulder and practically drags me out of the building.

We arrive at the local police station fifteen minutes later—three little stink bombs who didn’t even bother to shower before coming to file this report.

My insides are trembling as I take a seat and wait for an officer to come get us.

Mick rests her hand on my bobbing knee and gives it a squeeze. “Calm down,” she whispers. “You can do this.”

I nod and lightly sniff, then try to smile, but I’m sure what she sees is more of a grimace.

Caroline rests her hand on my lower back and gives it a light rub. Her smile is encouraging, and I soak up some of her bravery, yet still flinch when a tall officer with salt-and-pepper hair and a no-bullshit gaze strides out to greet us.

“Leilani I…Iona?” He struggles with my last name, but I’m already standing, forcing my feet to follow him down the hallway.

Mick and Caroline flank me as my heart rate accelerates until I can hear it thumping between my ears.

“Take a seat.” He points at the chairs opposite his desk, and I sit on the very edge, like my body needs to be ready to bolt if I have to. “I’m Officer McFadden. I’ll be taking your statement today. So, you want to file a report?”

“Yes.” I nod.

He raises his eyebrows at me, obviously drawing on the last of his dying patience. The guy must be having one of those days.

Maybe I should just bail… or ask to speak to someone else.

But then his look gets even more pointed as he clips, “What’s the problem, then?”

“Well, I, um…” I swallow. “I was raped.” My voice wobbles, and his expression flatlines.

The air in the room goes eerily still, and I’m thrown by the tension. Surely I’m not the first woman to walk in here with this, but the look he’s giving me right now makes me feel like I’m more than an inconvenience on his hectic day. I’m a big fucking problem.

Mikayla jerks forward with a frown. “So, are you going to ask her about it or just sit there staring at her like a dumbass?”

His eyebrows dip with a silent look of reprimand before he clears his throat and shuffles in his seat.

“Go ahead. Please tell me about the incident.” The way he accentuates the T is grating.

Caroline huffs. “Do we need to request a different officer? Maybe we need to talk to a female offi?—”

“That won’t be necessary. I’ve filed plenty of these reports. So, please—” He points at me. “—go on.”

I share a dubious frown with Caroline, but she nods and I somehow spurt out what I can remember. Which is more than I wish I could. As I walk my brain back to that party, it returns with brutal clarity, and I’m able to tell him exactly which house I was in and what I was wearing. I tell him about the dancing and the kissing and how we found that spare room, and then my eyes start to burn with tears and my voice gets shaky as I explain the details of the rape, including what he said to me after I told him to stop.

“That arrogant fuck.” Mick’s small hands make two tight fists, and she looks ready to throttle something.

For some reason, her indignant rage spurs me on, and I make it through the rest of my statement without falling apart.

I glance at Caroline. Her cheeks are pale, and tears are slowly trailing over her freckles. I reach for her hand, and she grabs my fingers. “You’re really brave, babe. I’m proud of you.”

Her words mean more to me than I’m able to express, so I just give her a weak smile and hope it’s enough.

The officer finishes typing into his computer, looking unaffected by the emotion in the room. Clearing his throat, he gives me a once-over, then nods. “And you know the person who did this to you?”

“Yes,” I whisper. “His name’s Harvey Carmichael. He’s a student at Lennox College. He comes down here for parties sometimes.”

“And you’re sure it’s him?”

I nod, but his stern gaze is unnerving me. “Pretty sure, yeah.”

“Pretty sure? You know there’s a difference, right?”

Mikayla huffs. “He raped her! What more do you want?”

The officer throws her a silent “shut up” before turning back to me. “You said in your statement that you were drunk, it was dark, and you didn’t exactly converse much before going into the room with him. How can you be sure it was this Harvey person?”

“Well, I… When I bumped into him weeks later, I just knew. I recognized his face and voice and?—”

“These are very serious accusations, Miss I…Io…” He huffs. “Miss. Do you know how many women come in here throwing out these statements like they don’t cost anything?”

I frown at him, thrown by his sudden venom.

“Someone brought charges against my nephew, and he was put through hell trying to prove his innocence. And before you ask, yes, he was innocent. The girl was pissed off that he dumped her and was out for revenge. So, we’ll need to know that you are sure, 100 percent, before we go after this Harvey guy.”

A cold breath rushes out of me. “I’m not after any kind of revenge. I told him to stop, and he didn’t. He raped me, and I don’t want him doing that to anyone else.”

The officer closes his eyes for a second, dipping his head with a sigh. “I’m very sorry about what happened to you. It shouldn’t have happened, I’m not denying it for one second. I just know the detective investigating your case will need you to be sure. And the DA might not press charges if there isn’t enough evidence.”

Mikayla scoffs. “The least you could do is go talk to the asshole!” Firing out of her chair, she slaps her hands on his desk. “Do you have any idea how much courage it took for her to even walk in here today? She was raped, and that has been harrowing. Now she finally finds the guts to come down here, and you’re telling her you don’t want to go after this guy because it might not be him?”

“What if it’s not him?” the officer bites back.

“Isn’t it your job to investigate that?”

He huffs and leans back, wiping a hand over his mouth before giving her a pointed look. “I will do my job. This report will get passed on to a detective, who will contact you in due course. I’m just being realistic here. With the serious lack of evidence, the case will likely be thrown out before it gets any real traction. I’ve been doing this job long enough to know what any detective will say to you—witness statements from a party that happened months ago are hardly reliable, and there was no one in the room when this went down.”

“So, it’s my word against his.” My shoulders slump.

The officer gives me a pained frown before muttering, “We’ll do what we can.”

It’s hardly encouraging, but I nod and shuffle out of the police station, feeling numb and let down.

Mikayla is fuming, spitting out harsh insults as we walk away from the station. “I want to squeeze his balls to toothpaste. That asswipe doesn’t deserve to sire children! Officer McFuckface with his arrogant smirk and ‘I need more evidence!’ It’s his job to find that shit!” She points at the station, her voice pitching in time with her eyebrows.

It”s kind of a detective’s job, actually, but I don’t have the energy to correct her. All I can hope is that whichever detective gets assigned to my case will have a little more enthusiasm than that old-time cop who should have retired a few years ago.

“The DA might not press charges.” Mick scoffs. “That’s a whole lot of bullshit right there!” She punches the air with her fists and lets out a roar.

I share a quick look with Caroline, who is blinking and squirming in her blue Converse with the sparkly laces.

“Have you ever seen her like this before?” I murmur out the side of my mouth.

“No.”

“What should we do?”

“I think we just leave her to it and she’ll get it out of her system.”

“Do you think we should let her drive?”

“Definitely not.” Caroline snatches the keys from Mikayla’s flailing hands.

And I step into her space before she starts smashing her fists through car windows. “Mick, it’s gonna be okay.”

“Why the fuck are you comforting me?” she shouts up at me. “How are you not losing your shit right now?”

“I don’t know.” I shake my head, kind of perplexed myself. “You’re doing a pretty good job for both of us, so maybe I’m letting you carry it.”

“Oh.” She nods, the thought seeming to calm her a little. “Okay. Do you need me to hit something or smash windows? I’ve got a bunch more insults I can scream at the station if that’s helpful.”

“You know what?” I find myself fighting a grin. “The ‘squeezing his balls to toothpaste’ thing kind of covers how I’m feeling.”

Mikayla’s lips twitch and she crosses her arms, kicking the ground with her scuffed-up sneakers.

“Unfortunately, I think the jackass may have already sired children.” Caroline’s shoulder hitches. “But I’d still love to see his ball sack as flat as a pancake.”

“Ew.” I make a face. “Now I’m picturing his ball sack.”

Mick snorts and then lets out this watery laugh that soon turns into a miserable whine. “I’m sorry, Lani.” She yanks me into a hug, her small arms surprisingly strong. “You don’t deserve to be treated like that. It’s not fair.”

“It’s also not over.” Caroline wraps her arms around both of us. “I don’t care what Officer McFuckface says. We’re not dropping this. We’re gonna keep coming back until we’re taken seriously.”

“I just need some decent evidence,” I mumble against Mikayla’s shoulder.

“And we’ll find some,” she assures me.

I pull myself out of the group hug. “How?”

“I don’t know.” Caroline shrugs again. “I just know we will. This can’t be over without some justice.”

She brushes her hand down the back of my ponytail, her smile sad in spite of her fierce tone.

As the initial anger finally burns away, we’re left standing in the parking lot, a pitiful silence settling over us as we try to reconcile with how badly that went.

And there’s that doubt again. Niggling away.

What if it wasn’t Harvey?

Just because his little sister thinks he might be guilty doesn’t mean he is. Just because his father is worried enough to threaten Asher… it still doesn’t mean Harvey was the one who raped me.

And Asher stands to lose so much if I pursue this.

Shit. This is such a fucking mess!