34. Leilani

Asher drops me back at my dorm after lunch. It’s been a relaxed morning, and I saunter up the stairs with a smile on my face. Who am I kidding? Relaxing? It was mind-blowing! After sucking Asher off, he returned the favor, going down on me with that expert tongue of his. The orgasm that shot through me was explosive. I swear I’ve never had one so intense before, and I just lay there panting for who knows how long afterward.

He gathered me into his arms, and we lay on the bed together, talking, kissing, then watching the first Lord of the Rings movie. Asher’s got the extended editions, so it took like three hours. But that was the relaxing part, I guess.

I unlock my dorm room door and step into the lonely, quiet space, kind of wishing I’d stayed at the house a little longer. As much as I love solitude, being in Hockey House is fun. At lunchtime, we all sat around the table eating and laughing and… it reminded me of the good times at home.

Taking out my phone, I quickly bring up my mother’s number and see if she’s free for a video chat. The screen beeps and blips while I wait for her to answer, and then Lehua’s sweet face is filling the screen.

“Hi, Leilani!” she chirps, then smiles at me. Honestly, my ten-year-old sister has the sweetest face on the planet. Those big brown eyes are always so gentle, and my heart melts just a little bit as I smile back at her.

“Hey, beautiful. How are you?”

“I’m good.” She licks a spot of something off the edge of her mouth. “Mom’s letting us eat ice cream before Dad gets home!”

“You’d better hurry up! He’ll be home any minute!” Mom calls. “Who are you talking to?”

“Lani!”

“Oh, my girl!” Mom’s voice brightens, and she bustles into the room, her wide smile taking over my screen when she grabs the phone off Lehua. “Kaikamahine.” Mom beams at me. “How are you, my daughter?”

“I’m good.” I nod and actually mean it this time. I haven’t been calling as much this year because I haven’t wanted to fall apart and spill the truth. I just can’t. Dad will never get over it. He’d be devastated to know something like that happened to one of his precious children. And there’s no way Mom couldn’t not tell him that his daughter had been raped.

I don’t want to do that to them, so I’ve just avoided them instead.

But I’m feeling stronger today. And after talking to Asher about our families all morning, I’m kind of in the mood to speak to mine.

“How are the studies going?” Mom asks all the usual questions, and we chat about school.

Dad arrives home in the middle of it and blows kisses at the camera before noticing ice cream on Lehua’s face.

“What have you been eating?” His mock roar makes Lehua squeal, then giggle. She runs away while he chases her like a bear, and then Keala and Rangi have to get in on the action too. I listen to the laughing commotion in the background and wave at the camera when little Melika crawls onto Mom’s lap.

“Hey, baby girl,” I croon.

She grabs the air, wriggling her fingers in a sweet toddler wave, while blinking slowly at the camera.

“She’s due for her nap.” Mom kisses her head. “I’d better go in a minute.”

“Okay.” I nod. “Nice to see you guys.”

It’s always so brief and chaotic. Dad lumbers back into the room with children clinging to his every limb.

“Hi, Leilani!” Makana shouts, and I wave to him in the background. He’s dashing through the house with who knows what in his backpack. That kid is always up to something.

Dad will sort it while Mom puts Melika down, and the rest of the kids will start crashing from their sugar highs in a minute. I’m kind of glad I’m not there for that.

But I do miss them.

Not the chaos, just the love.

Emotion swells in my chest as I wave to my siblings. “Love you guys!” I blow kisses at the camera and get a smattering of distracted waves and endearments.

“Love you, beautiful girl.” Dad’s face fills the camera.

“You, too, makua.”

He grins, and we blow a kiss to each other before I hang up.

The quiet swamps me, and it’s a nice, peaceful feeling, yet I’m still unsettled, which is why when Caroline walks through the door fifteen minutes later, I ask if she wants to go to the student gym and see if there are any classes on.

She’s up for it, and we quickly change and head down there, happy to join in the second half of a Zumba class. We have some fun working up a sweat, then buy ourselves iced lattes on the way home.

“You seem happy today.” Caroline grins at me.

I nudge her with my shoulder, feeling my face warm as she reads me with a narrow-eyed look.

“Falling hard for the rich MOFO, huh?”

“You know it,” I have to admit.

She lets out a little squeal and wraps her arm around my shoulders. “I’m so happy for you!”

“Me too.” I smile, then stop and grab her wrist. Turning her to face me, I stand in the late-afternoon sunshine and hope she can see how much I mean this. “Thank you.”

“For what?” Her nose wrinkles.

“For being here. For taking me to my first therapy session. For just… being the world’s best friend. I wouldn’t be in this place if you hadn’t kept nudging me and trying to get my butt out the door. Thanks for not giving up on me.”

Her eyes glass with tears as she steps into my space and gives me the hardest squeeze. I hug her back, and we both sniff and have a gentle cry for a moment.

Pulling back, she wipes at her eyes with a laugh.

“I love you so damn much, bestie,” she blubbers. “And I’m so happy that you’re healing and finding your joy again.”

“I love you too.” I smile, kissing her cheek before starting to walk again. “And I love Asher.”

Caroline gasps, and I can’t help wincing when she starts bouncing on her toes and shouting, “I knew it!”

I give her a side-eye. “Wait a second… you did know it!” I nudge her with my elbow. “There’s no way Casey didn’t tell you today. Asher said he wants the whole fucking world to know. He didn’t understand what my problem was when I got annoyed with him for blabbing about my slipup last night.”

Caroline cracks up laughing. “Yeah, Casey told me this morning. Asher made you breakfast in bed?” She swoons. “How adorable is that?”

“I know.” I bite my lip. “There was a flower on the tray and everything.”

“I can’t believe how sweet he is with you.”

I give her a simpering smile. “He loves me.”

“I know!” She tips her head back with a gushing smile, and I revel in this feeling.

With the sun on my face and my heart full to bursting—it’s cheesy, but it’s true—I’ve never felt so light before.

Asher loves me, and I love him.

It’s like I’m stepping into this whole new era of my life, and I’m not afraid to embrace it.

I’m healing.

I’m falling in love.

And nothing’s going to steal this joy away from me.