13. Leilani

I grip the edge of the toilet and hurl into the bowl.

It’s the same thing I did that night.

Once I found the ability to move. To pull my dress back down. To shuffle out of the bedroom.

I was shaking from head to toe.

I don’t even know how I was able to walk, to weave around the myriad of people in the house, but somehow I made it to the bathroom, and by some miracle it was free.

I locked the door behind me, dropped to my knees, and threw up every ounce of alcohol in my body.

That’s the last time I tasted beer or wine or anything like that.

I will never drink alcohol again.

I will never put myself in a position where I don’t have my full wits about me. Maybe if I hadn’t been so tipsy, my brain would have warned me that one-night stands could be dangerous.

My brain would have reminded me that I’m holding out for the real deal.

But I was pissed and angsty and needed to get me some.

I thought it’d make me feel better, but I soon realized that I wasn’t after a hot, quick fuck. I wanted to go, but…

Closing my eyes, I try to block out the sound of his grunting, the panic that seized me when he didn’t adhere to my request.

“Stop.”

We’d only just started, but I’d changed my mind.

So I said, “Stop.” Loud and clear.

And I know he heard me because his reply will ring in my head forever.

“I’m not done with you yet.”