Fullepub 
Chapter 22
22
Rather than frantically guessing where in the park Jonah might be, I plonk myself outside the Serpentine Lido in the hopes that his running group takes the same route every morning. I buy myself a bottle of water from a nearby cart and settle myself onto a bench with a view of pathways to the left and the right. This way I can get a decent heads-up of his approach, no matter what direction he’s running in. While I wait, I idly watch the early morning swimmers and imagine how pleasant it must feel to be in the cool water during this insane heat. I spot an elderly couple splashing about at the far edge of the water, giggling like teenagers. I wonder how they met, and if they knew right away that they were soulmates.
My phone buzzes.
I’m only sending this because my mum insisted but she wants you to know that we’ll be at Laurents café at 9 in case you have time to join us for a coffee before we set off to the aquarium. Best, Cooper.
I tap out a response.
I’m waiting to see if Jonah is jogging in the park again but there’s no sign of him. I should probably keep waiting, but please thank your mum for the invitation.
I press send.
Then I can’t help but type out:
Best? You sign your texts Best?
What do you suggest in place of best?
I bite my lip and have a think.
I don’t think you have to formally sign off. Maybe just a relevant emoji would work.
A few seconds later…
I laugh out loud in surprise. Then, realising that I shouldn’t be staring down at my phone when Jonah could run past any minute, I reply with a and shove my phone back into my pocket.
After an hour passes with no sign of Jonah, I consider moving to a different spot. But what if that’s the exact moment he shows up?
After two hours of waiting, I call up Kensington Leisure Centre only to be informed that the running club has been cancelled for the remainder of the week on account of the dangerously rising temperatures. When I ask the receptionist to please, please, please give me Jonah’s contact details, she reacts the same way as Claude did at the drawing class—like it’s an absolute outrage for me to ask her to do something so unprofessional.
I plod dejectedly back towards my flat, my head spinning with panic, my underarms soaked with sweat, my heart squeezing with doubt about what the hell I’m supposed to do next.
“Merriiiiitttttt, help meeeeee!” I whisper, already knowing that she won’t respond from wherever she’s hiding. I picture Kat at the drawing class. She seemed like she might be persuaded to talk if Claude hadn’t been there to stop her. Could I track Kat down? But how? I know even less about her than I do Jonah.
“Aaaaargh,” I moan to myself as I walk down Craven Road. I pull out my phone and google “Kat nude model London.”
Big mistake. Wow, there are so many “horny cougars in my area.”
“Delphie! You came!”
I’m pulled out of my X-rated online search to see Cooper, his mum, Amy, and a perfectly round, perfectly put together woman drinking iced coffees on the terrace outside Laurents café. Oh shit. He said they were going to be meeting here this morning. I should have snuck around the back way.
“Hi!” I give them a polite wave. “I’m actually just on my way to—”
“I’m so glad you’re here!” Amy jumps up from her chair and pulls me into a tight hug that somewhat settles my racing heart. “I was ever so disappointed when Cooper said you couldn’t make it. I knew if we just waited here a little longer you might come by!”
“I didn’t actually—” I go to tell them that I’d forgotten they were even coming to the neighbourhood, but Amy softly presses her hand to the back of my head, and the words disappear on my tongue.
Once Amy releases me, I’m immediately gathered into a second, more bosomy hug by the other woman. The scent of her perfume is a lovely subtle cedar. Her bare arms sort of stick to my bare arms. This must be the “pushy” Aunt Bev. “Nice to meet you,” I say from where my entire face is muffled in her neck.
“Darling girl!” Bev exclaims, leaning back and examining me like I’m a dear friend she hasn’t seen in years. “How wonderful! As soon as Amy told me you’d made our eternally sour-faced boy laugh, I said, ‘Good lord, I have to see this for myself at once!’ He’s been such a miserable little wretch these last few years. We have all asked him to go to therapy, but of course he thinks he knows better than the older and the much, much wiser. But perhaps all he needed this whole time was love.”
“We’ve only been dating a few weeks, Bev,” Cooper sighs, finishing the remainder of his coffee.
Bev tuts. “Your Uncle Jerry—God rest his soul—and I knew within half a second that we loved each other. Time means nothing. Chemistry is what counts!”
Cooper avoids my wide-eyed glance, horror at his aunt’s indiscretion turning his cheeks lightly pink. I can’t help but giggle at his discomfort. Nothing strips away the carefully curated cool demeanour of a person faster than being around those who raised them.
“Shall we hail a cab to the aquarium?”
I grimace. I really should get back home and figure out a new plan. But Amy looks genuinely delighted to see me. And Bev is already bustling about, excitedly telling me about her favourite fish. And then there’s Cooper, eyeing me with an expression akin to pleading. He clearly wants to keep his mum smiling. I get that. God knows I tried with my own mum after Dad left.
“We won’t stay for long,” Cooper murmurs in my ear. “And I’ll owe you. Again.”
I suppose it’s not like I’m going to make much headway in the next hour anyway. And when we return, Cooper’s assistance would be helpful. Maybe he could use some of his computer whizzery to track down Kat, who I think might actually give me Jonah’s number if I beg her for long enough.
“Okay then,” I say brightly. “But I’ll have to nip home to shower first. I’m a little sweaty.”
“Oh, you can shower later.” Bev waves away the suggestion. “We’re all friends here.”
“Join the sweaty club!” Amy says, swinging her arm around me.
“Sweaty Bettys unite!” Bev adds, looping her arm through mine and hailing a cab from the street with a practiced flick of her wrist.
“Speak for yourselves,” Cooper says, pinching his nose as the four of us bundle into the cab.
I’ve never been to the London Aquarium before. I always imagined it would be serene and empty. All dim lighting and fish nerds talking in hushed voices. I was so wrong. The London Aquarium is noisy as hell, with crowds of people shoving and shouting and pressing their whole faces or their phones up against the glass of the tanks. Bev immediately leads us to an area called the Syngnathidae section, and I’m relieved to find it’s much quieter than downstairs, the tanks filled with tiny spiky creatures that aren’t as flashy as the sharks and the jellyfish but are magical nevertheless.
“They’re smaller than I thought they’d be,” I say, pointing at the seahorses, ducking my head to get a closer look. “They’re beautiful, though. Like little pieces of jewellery.”
“I can’t believe they’re alive,” Amy says. “That they’re breathing.”
“Aha,” Bev calls out, pointing at an information board beside the tank. “The Hippocampus histrix—or thorny seahorse as they’re more well known—sticks with just one other seahorse for their entire life! Whenever I’d bring Cooper and Em here as youngsters, they’d run right to this area. Used to sit in front of the tank linking pinkies like the seahorses link tails.”
I glance at Cooper, who is staring intently at a wall sign that reads EXIT THIS WAY.
“Look at those two there! They’re linking tails right now!” Amy points to a far corner of the coral, where there are indeed two tiny seahorses, little tails looped into each other.
“We simply must get a photo,” Bev says decisively. “Cooper, darling. Delphie. Come on. Stand here. Oh, and kiss! Kiss by the seahorses. How romantic!”
Amy nudges Cooper away from the exit sign and towards the front of the tank while Bev drags me over so forcefully I almost trip over my own shoes.
“No, no need to take a photo.” Cooper shakes his head quickly. “Let’s just use our memories, shall we?”
“Yes!” I agree firmly. “Analogue. Plus, we don’t want to get in the way of the other visitors.”
Bev pouts. “Don’t be ridiculous, there’s hardly anyone else in here.” She steps back and holds up her phone. “Come on. Kiss by the seahorses. You’ll thank me at your wedding.”
Cooper’s mouth is set into a grim line, his shoulders hunched higher than I’ve ever seen them. I look around in panic. I cannot kiss him, even for a ruse.
Amy giggles. “Bev, leave them be.”
I exhale. Thank you, Amy. But then Amy reconsiders. “You don’t have to kiss if it feels too awkward in front of everyone. But perhaps you could look at each other for the photograph? Into each other’s eyes.”
“Yes, and hold hands! Face each other and hold hands!”
Christ.
“Let’s just get this over with,” Cooper murmurs out of the side of his mouth.
I sigh and turn towards him in front of the glass.
“Hold hands!” Bev shouts.
“You’re right. She is pushy,” I hiss as Cooper reaches to take my hands in his. I snatch my hands away.
Cooper pinches the bridge of his nose. “You try stopping her once she’s got an idea in her head. I’ve tried my whole life. The only one who could ever out-push her was Em.”
I glance over at Bev. I open my mouth to tell her that this is ridiculous and that she cannot bully us into taking a romantic picture in front of some seahorses. But then I spot Amy beside her. Her hands are clasped to her chest, and she’s smiling like this is the most fun she’s had in ages.
“Take the picture already,” I say as politely as I can manage, pasting a smile onto my face and looking up at Cooper. He takes my hands in his once more. Then, so slowly that I’m not even sure it’s happening, he curls his index finger upwards across my palm. I swallow, and frown at him slightly. His face is unchanged. He must not know he’s doing it. My nostrils flare in alarm at the sensations that Cooper’s finger is causing. I’m clearly so unused to human touch that even an accidental tickle from someone I don’t fancy is giving me a full-body blush.
“Three! Two! One!” Bev counts down.
Cooper and I look at each other and I notice that the light coming from the fish tank makes his eyes look like they’re dancing.
“Oh, blast…I pressed the wrong thing,” Bev cries. “Okay, let me try again.”
Cooper continues to look at me, seemingly unfazed. Sweat starts to prickle the back of my neck.
“For fuck’s sake,” I sing, still fake smiling. It’s so hot in here. I wish she’d hurry up.
“Oh, hang on, darlings. I appear to have pressed the button for the calculator application.”
“Is it not that one?” Amy joins in, stabbing a finger to the phone screen. “Ah, cripes. What have I done?”
The room fills with the tinny sounds of Roberta Flack’s “Killing Me Softly.”
“Amy, you’ve put it onto the Spotify channel. You two, don’t move! Keep posing. Oh! Aha! Here’s the camera thingamajig.”
“Kill me softly,” I mutter.
Cooper’s lips press together, the edges of them turning pale pink. What a weird smile. I squint. Is he okay?
His shoulders start to shake. Then his mouth opens and he crouches over, a blast of laughter filling the air.
I jump in shock at the sound of it, hands covering my face. And then the sight of this stiff, perennially haughty man laughing so unabashedly catches me, and I let out a small laugh of my own. Cooper splutters, which makes me laugh even more, and before I know it the pair of us are bent double, shrieking so hard we can barely catch our breath.
I see a flash of light from the corner of my eye.
“Told you she made him laugh,” Amy says.
“I never would have believed it,” Bev chuckles. “But it’s true! And now I have photographic evidence!”
When we’ve toured the remainder of the aquarium I dash off to the loo. I head towards the line of sinks to wash my hands, when I see that one of the mirrors is covered in a lipstick so obnoxiously orange it can only belong to Merritt.
HAVING A NICE TIME AT THE AQUARIUM, ARE WE? YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO TRY HARDER THAN THIS, BABE. YOU HAVE FIVE DAYS LEFT TO FIND JONAH OR ELSE I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO BRING YOU BACK TO THE LAND OF THE DEADS! YOU SIGNED A CONTRACT!!!
I wriggle uncomfortably. She’s right. I am having a nice time at the aquarium. I’ve already been here for way too long. Five days left is no time at all.
“So help me out!” I yell frustratedly into the air, much to the befuddlement of a woman exiting one of the cubicles. She gives me a wide berth and throws a pointed look at the mirror. I turn the cold water on full blast, cooling my wrists beneath the flow. “I’m willing to try harder, believe me,” I call out to wherever Merritt is. “But I’m stuck. I literally don’t know what to do next! Cooper’s going to help me search for Kat when we get back, but other than that I’m at a loss and I’m, frankly, scared. So throw me a bone.”
I wait for a response.
Nothing. She’s dipped again.
“Nice. Really nice. Thanks, Merritt.”
I sigh, patting cold water onto my sticky hot cheeks. I’ve searched the internet, The Orchestra Pit, the park, the drawing class, and the Shard! I’ve run into terrible luck and stupid obstacles each and every time. I think about what Cooper said last night, about Jonah actively avoiding me. But that can’t be possible. He doesn’t know I exist. Does he?
Once the cool water has helped to lower my temperature a tad, I turn off the tap, noticing as I do a little logo on the rim of the sink. London Alabaster. Something flickers in my brain, a small crackle at first and then a lightning bolt. I get a vision of the irritable woman at the Shard last night, asking if Maurice Alabaster had sent us there to dance and how she was going to make a complaint to him. Then I remember how the Northern girl in the jewelled dress said Jonah had been dancing on the podium just before me. Hmm. Maurice Alabaster must be a manager or an agent or something? And if he provided the dancers for last night’s event, that means there’s a very real chance he represents Jonah…
I speedily dry my hands on a paper towel and open up my phone to search. Aha! The Maurice Alabaster Talent and Casting Agency! I scroll quickly through the list of dance clients and—oh my god—there he is! It’s Jonah—a black-and-white headshot of him looking handsome and sweet and kind, just like he was in Evermore. His name is not Jonah Truman here, though. It says Jonah Electric. Huh. Is that a stage name? Is that why he didn’t show up in any of my internet sleuthing?
I scan down the bio, my eyes widening as I see that Jonah is an actor and a dancer and just last year appeared in a French Riverian Cruise production of Cats. I picture him in a furry outfit, whiskers painted onto his face. I immediately shove the image away to the lockbox of doom and scroll back up to the headshot to admire his warm, sparkling eyes. There he is. Jonah—actor, dancer, saver of my life, soulmate.
I glance at the lipstick note on the mirror again, then type out a message.
Cooper, I have an encouraging lead on Jonah and have to go. Please tell Amy and Bev I’m sorry.
If I find Jonah, I would really like to hang out with them again. But if I don’t find Jonah, I won’t get to hang out with anyone but Merritt and whatever other Deads she sets me up with for her weird dating service.
Cooper replies right away with a thumbs-up, the worst but most efficient of all the emojis. An improvement on signing off with “Best, Cooper” I suppose.
“Maybe I don’t need your help after all!” I call out to Merritt. “Maybe I can figure this out all on my own.”
Then I fly down the stairs of the aquarium, speed past the tourists and the fish nerds, and run out into the sunshine.
