Chapter Forty

FORTY

JUNE 1926

Augusta had a terrible feeling that Irving wasn’t telling her the truth.

He’d been acting strange all that spring—bolting from the pharmacy when his shift ended, skipping invitations for Esther’s dinners. When Augusta pressed him, he finally confessed that he’d gotten a second job. But when she asked where, he wouldn’t say.

“It’s only temporary,” he told her. “It’s nothing for you to worry about.”

“When you say things like that, it makes me worried.”

Augusta’s sister was worried, too. Augusta was glad Bess was still working at the store—at least until the baby arrived. Bess placed one hand on her growing belly as she stood behind the makeup counter. “Irving won’t tell George about his job, either,” she said. “George thinks the whole thing sounds suspicious.”

“Suspicious how?” Augusta said.

Bess frowned. “George was on his way to the library last week when he saw Irving outside Lois Diamond’s house. Apparently, Lois opened the door and Irving went straight inside.”

Augusta felt as if all the air had been sucked out of her lungs. Evie’s birthday party had been almost two years ago, but Augusta was certain that Lois Diamond knew how to hold a grudge. If I decide that he’s worth meeting, I’ll be sure to let you know.

Was Irving dating Lois Diamond? There was only one way to find out.

When she confronted Irving that afternoon, he threw back his head and laughed. “That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard!”

“Don’t you dare call me crazy. You’ve been behaving oddly for months —skulking around, keeping secrets. What exactly am I supposed to believe?”

Irving took her by the hand and led her into the empty stock room. “I’ll tell you,” he said. “But you have to promise that you won’t get upset.”

“I’m already upset!”

“All right, all right. I understand, and I’m sorry. I’ve been doing some part-time work for Zip Diamond, that’s all. Nothing risky—I promise.”

Augusta’s concern turned to fear, but she kept her voice low so her father wouldn’t hear. “What the hell are you thinking?” she hissed. “You know what kind of man he is. He’s a gangster, Irving! He’s dangerous! You shouldn’t be getting involved with him!”

“I had no choice, Goldie,” Irving told her. “I need the extra cash. The fact is, working for Zip pays more than anything else I could think of. And I swear, he’s been really decent to me. Mrs. Diamond says he likes having me around.”

Irving seemed so sincere that it only made Augusta more confused. Irving sounded just like she had back when she’d tried to reassure her father that Esther treating Mitzi Diamond was the correct thing to do. Augusta had insisted that Mrs. Diamond meant no harm, that she posed no threat to any of them. And now here was Irving, saying the same. Her father had told her that she sounded foolish, that she was being naive. He’d maintained that the threat the Diamonds posed was not to be treated lightly. That any kind of association with them could lead to potential disaster.

But as she stared at the young man she loved, begging her to trust his decision, all that Augusta could do now was hope that her father had been wrong.

“I promise, it’s just for a little while longer,” said Irving. “Trust me, Goldie. Please, just trust me. I swear, I’m doing this for our future.”

For the next few weeks, she felt more hopeful. Although Irving was still extremely busy, at least now he was being honest with her. He was more attentive, more communicative, and seemed to be back to his old self.

As further proof of his devotion, he’d planned a special date for the day after her high school graduation. “We have a lot to celebrate,” he said. “And soon we’ll have even more.” His face lit up with a joyful glow. “I reserved a table at Arcadia Gardens—it’s the fanciest place I could think of. I invited Evie and Nathaniel, too. I want everything to be special.”

In the days leading up to the graduation, Augusta tried not to get her hopes up. Evie was sure that Irving was going to propose, but Augusta didn’t want to make any assumptions. She told herself that there was absolutely no need to rush their future together. If Irving did not propose at Arcadia Gardens, it would happen soon enough. She loved Irving and he loved her—Augusta had no doubts about that.

Until suddenly she did.

The morning of her commencement dawned full of sunshine. The temperature was perfect, the breeze was gentle, and the skies were a cloudless cobalt blue. In an uncharacteristically affectionate moment, Esther kissed Augusta on the cheek while setting a plate of toast in front of her. “I am proud of you, Goldie,” she said.

But later, Augusta didn’t feel proud at all. After all the diplomas were handed out and the ceremony had come to a close, she scoured the crowded lawn in front of the school, searching for Irving. No sooner had she spotted him than she also spotted Mitzi Diamond making her way over to greet him. A moment later, Lois Diamond was giving Irving a peck on the cheek. Why was Lois kissing Irving? What was he doing talking to the Diamonds when he should be looking for her? And why was Zip Diamond nowhere in sight on the morning of his daughter’s graduation?

A moment later, Bess was beside her, whispering a warning into Augusta’s ear. “What is Irving doing with them ?” Augusta’s father was silent, but it was clear from the look on his face that he was wondering the same thing.

The encounter lasted only a moment. Soon Irving was in front of her, pressing an enormous bouquet of red and white roses into her arms. But no matter the flowers or his smile, Augusta could not surrender the vision of Irving with the Diamond family—Mitzi Diamond shaking Irving’s hand and Lois Diamond with her lips on Irving’s cleanly shaven cheek. If I decide that he’s worth meeting, I’ll be sure to let you know.

Bess pulled Augusta off to the side. “Lois keeps looking over at us—over at Irving, I mean. I don’t like this, Augusta. You need to do something,” Bess whispered.

“What am I supposed to do?”

“I don’t know—but what if Irving is having doubts about the two of you? When I had doubts about George, Esther mixed up that powder for me.” Bess tilted her head in Irving’s direction and gave her sister a pointed stare. “Maybe Irving needs a push like the one Esther gave me.”

There was no sleep for Augusta that night, no rest for her body or mind. Finally, sometime after midnight, she forced herself to make a decision.

She waited until Esther was asleep and crept into the dark kitchen alone, carrying her aunt’s apothecary case. By the light of a few candles, she gathered the ingredients into a pile: fenugreek, mandrake, and sage. Rose hips and chamomile. She found the smallest drawer in the back of Esther’s case and chose a single raskovnik clover just as the waxing moon outside emerged from behind a passing cloud. Next, Augusta closed her eyes and tried to summon the words she needed.

She thought back to what Esther had told her. The words are not like the formulas in your books or the bottles on your father’s shelves. You cannot memorize and repeat them. You must feel them in your bones.

Would she be able to feel them now? Would she be able to succeed on her own? Augusta did not know the answer. The only thing she knew for sure was how much she loved Irving Rivkin and how much she wanted to be his wife. In her mind, she could see their wedding day. She could hear the crack of the glass beneath the heel of Irving’s shoe, the clapping guests, and the cheers. Those imagined sounds formed a rhythm in her mind and then, from somewhere, a melody surfaced. As she ground the pestle against the brass bowl, she heard herself singing before her lips even parted.

To ease the pain of those who suffer

To repair the bodies of those who are ill

To restore the minds of those in need

She sang for the years she would have with her husband, for the love she would shower on her children. She sang for every joyful day, for every warm and tender night. She sang for the brilliant future she wanted and for the life she hoped to make.

Over and over, Augusta sang the words, until the powder in the mortar was as lustrous and fine as the snow Irving had carried her through after Bess’s wedding; the snow he had brushed so tenderly from her hair before kissing her for the very first time.

The next morning, she opened her eyes with a start. Last night’s kitchen machinations already felt like a faraway dream. Augusta pushed her hand under her pillow and felt clumsily for the pouch she had hidden. It was waiting there, where she’d left it. Last night had been real after all.

She ate breakfast quickly, scouring the kitchen for any trace of what she had done. Had Esther heard the song Augusta had sung? Did she suspect what her niece was planning? Augusta did not linger long enough in the apartment to find out. As soon as she finished her coffee, she hurried down the steps to the store and put herself diligently to work.

All morning long, she made change for customers, dusted shelves, answered questions. She waited until her father left to get a sandwich at the deli next door before scurrying into the stock room for a pint bottle of his best whiskey. Augusta tucked the bottle into her purse and stored them both in the cabinet under the cash register, far away from curious eyes.

In the afternoon, she left the store early and went straight to her parents’ bedroom. There, in the shallow bottom drawer of the bureau, she found a monogrammed silver flask. It was a gift her father had never used—a present from a wealthy cousin that he’d always claimed was too extravagant. He would never know it was gone.

She could hear Esther in the kitchen consulting with one of her most neurotic clients—one who would not be leaving anytime soon. Augusta shut the door to the bedroom, poured half the whiskey into the flask, and carefully sprinkled in the powder. Later she hid the half-empty bottle under her bed and tucked the flask into the purse she was planning on using that evening.

Once she had calmed her racing pulse, Augusta put on the pale pink dress she’d been saving for a special occasion. The dress was one of half a dozen that Harriet Dornbush had recently given Augusta after learning she was expecting again. “It was time to clean out my closet,” said Harriet, happily patting her expanding middle.

Of all the dresses, Augusta liked the pink one the best. It was a dreamy, lacy, ruffled confection, complete with a drop waist and a wide satin sash. The color brought out the rosiness in her cheeks, the gold in her hair, and the hope in her heart. Never had she been more excited for her future; never had her mood been more buoyant.

Which was why it was so painful when everything she hoped for fell apart. Not only did Irving fail to propose that night, but he simply disappeared after Nathaniel got down on one knee. Augusta scoured every inch of Arcadia Gardens, but Irving was nowhere to be found. The next day, for the first time in years, he didn’t show up for work. The rest of the week brought a slew of fresh horrors: Irving’s refusal to see her, the news of his engagement to Lois, and his move to Chicago with her family. Then the final agonizing blow: Lois Diamond was pregnant.

Esther’s response to her niece’s confession only made Augusta feel worse. “I told you how powerful that recipe was. How powerful and how dangerous.”

“You did,” said Augusta, lowering her gaze. “But I made it anyway.” She choked back the sob that rose in her throat.

“Did you tell Irving what it was for?”

A wave of shame washed over Augusta. When she shook her head, Esther’s voice grew soft.

“I tried to warn you,” Esther said, clucking her tongue against the back of her teeth.

“I’m sorry,” said Augusta. “I wish I had listened. If I could take it back, I would.”

Esther’s expression was solemn. “I am sorry for you, Goldie. But some things cannot be undone.”