My Soul is His

MY SOUL IS HIS

CAVUM TERRA

Marla

T he air is stagnant as I run through the smoky haze. Once again, I've made a mistake. I know I shouldn't have left our camp, the little location we now live in, but the demons that linger from my mind entice me out like a moth to a flame. I can feel their presence lurking nearby, a constant threat. They love to chew people up and spit them out, with just enough time for their prey to heal before coming back once more.

I look over my shoulder as I run. The decrepit tree branches sway, but the camouflaged demon has advanced over the years, and I know it'll catch me soon. It's gotten so good at blending in with its surroundings that some days it can be right next to me without my knowledge. In its presence, my heart pounds, my lungs constrict, and an icy chill runs through my veins.

Memories flood my mind like a movie reel playing on repeat. The air is heavy with the haunting whispers of torment my mother used for years to belittle me. A relentless soundtrack that is now part of the shadow demon. Thorns as big as garden spades tear through my skin as I sprint through them, leaving a trail of blood dripping down my arms.

A chill runs along my spine as decaying fingers brush my cheek, and I swallow the scream forming on my tongue. My chest burns as the thunderous footsteps rush up behind me. I brace for the impact that never comes.

"My dove, run."

Sebastian pushes me through the maze that is our world. I know he can't see what's hurting me, but he doesn't stop being the armour I've always needed. I glance back, and he's running toward me with his tattooed arms spread wide. Despite the repetition of this familiar scene, the same song, and dance we've been doing for decades, it proves that I will never learn from my mistakes.

The tall demon, with eyes of darkness and a bleeding mouth, represents the depression that lurks in the shadows. The other, with its burning fingertips, scorches me at each opportunity. However, neither one can ever compare to the camouflaged creature that haunts my every waking moment. The unease it puts over the land and the tricks it plays on my mind will eventually be the destruction of my psyche. It chips away at me slowly, and I know that over time I will be only a husk of my former self.

Soon we come to the shadowed underpass we've claimed as our home. My knees give out, and I crumble forward onto the dirt. Turning, I gaze upwards, the sky swirls with orange and red, and my demon stalks off, done with its games for now. Sebastian stands above me, his beautiful face forever frozen in time.

"Marla, we've talked about this. You can't go out whenever you want. It isn't safe."

I lean against the smooth rock and hold my eye roll. "I just wanted to…"

"See the other realm, I know." He walks around. The decaying branches above us create a canopy of shelter, and the smooth rocks surrounding us offer a deceptive sense of safety. Once he's done checking the entrances, he settles down beside me and I'm comforted by the warmth of his body.

"They're unaware of my existence, yet I can observe them, happy and enjoying their afterlife," I whisper.

Being banished to Cavum Terra, where our mental demons turn into physical ones to hurt us for all of eternity, wasn't enough. I found a secret window to the other side, and everyone I love is there.

The sight of my grandparents and the familiar faces of old friends brings a small glimmer of happiness, a feeling that is indescribable. Except for the appearances my cunt of a mother makes; those times drain the energy from my essence.

Souls that didn't kill themselves dwell in a serene world, where every evening has breathtaking sunsets and flourishing branches, untouched by demons.

"My dove, we can only go together. I can't protect you if you take off when I'm recovering." He traces his fingers through the blood, tasting me before he pulls his shirt off and holds it against my wounds. I lean against his chest as the tears fall. "Marla, do you regret it?"

"No. If it meant I couldn't be with you forever? I wouldn't change anything."

He moves me to sit on his lap and wraps his arms around me. The bleeding has ceased, the rapid recovery taking over. Weirdly, our clothes always return to how they were when we got here, like being dirty wouldn't befit the lords.

"I just wish we'd never found that portal," I murmur.

"I think it's part of yours only."

"What?" I rear my head back to stare at him.

"I can't see it, my dove. I wish I could enjoy the moments with you."

Anger rips through my body. Shaking, I pull away from him. Sebastian doesn't let go of my shirt and clutches me to his chest.

"Why did you lie?" I whisper. He isn't supposed to pretend to appease me.

"I never really said I could. Again, I skirted the truth, but I would do anything to make you feel even a fraction better."

I glare at him. We've been over this so many times, his ears should bleed.

"Pain is easy to handle, my dove. Seeing you in the arms of torture? Can't do it."

I snake my hand up his chest to cup his chin roughly. His brown eyes sear into mine.

"Take away my pain," I whisper. "Make me forget. Remind me I'm yours."

"You will always belong to me, but if you need a refresher, I gotchu." He smirks before inching forward and catching my lips with his. Warmth fills my body, and he wraps his hand around my hair, briefly breaking our kiss before pulling me to the floor.

His mouth once again lands on mine, and he kisses me fiercely. Sebastian lets go of my tresses and trails down the front of my body. His lips travel from my mouth to the sensitive skin along my neck as the hard ground presses against my back and the sound of other human cries fills the air.

"Look at me. Only I exist right now."

My gaze focuses on him. Brown hair falls in his face, and he wets his lips before dragging his tongue down my torso. Sebastian rips off my clothes, then snatches me up and moves us to the mossy area we call a bed. The ground is damp under my skin, but his touch is warm.

Sebastian lowers between my legs and nips along my inner thighs before he explores me with his mouth. Each lick makes me tremble as lust fills my body and need explodes throughout my veins. Sebastian's fingers enter me quickly, and he fucks me as I thrust my hips against him.

"Come for me. Get ready for my cock," he gruffly says.

I'm just out of reach mentally, and as he sucks on my clit, my mind clouds with memories. Not again. I can't do this right now.

"Marla, focus on my tongue. Out of your head. Just enjoy the way your body responds to me."

Struggling to drown out the demonic whispers, I concentrate solely on the physical sensations coursing through me. His lean form between my legs. His brown eyes locking with mine as he thrusts his fingers into me. I cry out, pretending the orgasm is racking me.

"Now who's lying?"

Sebastian arches his eyebrow at me. He lowers his jeans and rips off his band tee as he moves to lie on his back. He strokes his hard cock, my gaze runs over the barbells along the shaft.

Carefully, I position myself over his body before I lower onto his throbbing dick, savouring the sensation. I attempt to tease him, but he is determined, and denies me the opportunity to play.

His strong hand wraps around my neck, and he plunges me down onto his length, and this time I'm powerless to stop the orgasm that rocks my body.

"That's my girl. I knew you could do it," he whispers.

He brings his knees up and bounces me on his shaft as he cups my tits in his hands. I let him use me before collapsing forward, my body trembling as I grip his face. My lips find his and tenderly kiss him, using this moment to block out the battles filtering through our area.

"I've got you," he growls into my ear. Sebastian pulls me off him and lowers me to the ground. The heat of his chest covers my back, and he penetrates me again. "Feel that? I'll always be here to take away all your pain. Forever."

I slip my hand under our bodies and rub my clit as he thrusts into me. Nothing exists at this moment except the two of us and his deep growls against my neck.

"Don't stop," I whisper.

Sebastian

As if I would ever stop showing her my love. I straddle her legs and slide into her from behind. Tight wetness grips me in the vise I've been given for all of eternity.

I entangle my fingers in her jet-black hair and tilt her head back to meet my gaze. Her eyes fill with a mix of lust and longing, and I respond by slipping my hand beneath her, and twisting her nipple to intensify the pleasure coursing through us.

"Come for me," I growl.

Her muscles tense, and she milks my cock until a strangled cry comes from her throat. I slam into her once more and fill her with my release. Staying inside her, I wrap my arms around her and pull both of us onto my side.

"Is everything okay?" Marla asks me. "You've been distant."

I kiss her shoulder and nuzzle into her. "How, my dove? I'm always with you."

The last thing I want is for her to think I am pulling away when I have only been doing my best to save her. My dick throbs inside her, and she nudges me. A light giggle leaves her.

"I'm not sure. We should get dressed. We have to do the walk-around."

"I hate the walks. We shouldn't have to welcome new people." I kiss her neck as I ease out of her. Marla reaches for her clothes as I struggle with my jeans.

"Who else will do it?" As Marla combs through her tresses with her fingers, she reaches for a particular sweater we stumbled upon while exploring Cavum Terra.

When Marla first came here, she could get answers from the three lords, but they've been reclusive and happy to let her take the initiative with new people since. Personally, I think she does a better job, but I worry about her.

"If you say so, my dove." I exhale and run my hand through my hair before putting my baseball cap back on. "No one was there for you. People don't give a shit here. The lords, or whatever the fuck they are, do not care."

She glares at me, crossing her arms over her chest before stalking off into the open spaces that hold all her demons. I've been battling mine, but he's just an angry old bitch who's easier to play with. I thought once I settled in, I would be given a demon worth my time, but compared to life, this seems like a cakewalk.

"Marla, wait!" I shout at her. As I jog to where she is, our hands interlock, and I feel a sense of security. "I've told you not to go out on your own."

Her demons rip her to shreds physically and emotionally at every chance, and there's not much I can do about it without being able to see them. Each day fills me with rage. I'm saddened by the fact I can't fight them myself.

We continue walking through the realm. The sky is a dark red and orange blend, and it's always an eerie feeling when fresh people drop in. Terror is felt in ripples, and sorrow from the new souls angers our own shadow demons.

"There's been a rise in people lately," she whispers.

"Earth was pretty shitty when we were there, and I suspect it has gotten no better." I squeeze her hand.

I know she hoped that, over time, mental health services would improve on the other side, but the reality is the government doesn't give a shit about the population and never will.

As we cross one of the many bridges, we find a trio looking around with their mouths agape.

"What the fuck is this place? Why am I here?" a tall blonde asks, and the dark-haired man behind her visibly shakes as his hands snake around her waist.

The other girl has a mohawk, she scans the area, no doubt searching for what is causing the noises she is hearing.

"Last thing you remember?" Marla asks. She's at least always straight to the point.

Tears build in the eyes of all three, and mohawk girl falls to her knees.

"Right, well, this is Cavum Terra. You killed yourself and you'll be here for the rest of eternity."

Their cries surround us, and Marla leans against me. I wrap my arm around her shoulders and sigh.

"Whatever mental illness plagued you on Earth will now manifest as a physical shadow demon that you have to fight off. Be skeptical of everything you hear. They like to play games."

"What do we do?" asks the dark-haired man.

"Form friendships. Stick together and run like hell," Marla whispers. She offers them a sympathetic smile, and we lower our heads before walking away.

"You sure don't sugarcoat it, my dove."

"Why would I? Nothing about this place is joke-worthy." I grip her hand and we walk past the three cabins that house the lords, or gods.

"Sebastian," a deep voice calls from behind me.

I square my shoulders, straighten my posture, and turn back to look at Berimund, one of the rulers. His dark robe brushes against the red dirt road of his laneway, leaving a faint mark in his wake.

"Sir."

"We've discussed amongst ourselves the deal you have brought to us."

Marla tenses beside me. I couldn't have told her anything, because if it didn't go through, I would have disappointed her once again.

"And?" I stare into his eyes, and he nods his head. "When will it start?"

Giso walks along the path until she's next to him, her long blonde hair flawlessly coiffed. She offers me a small smile.

"When will what start?" Marla asks in a muted voice beside me, touching her fingers to her lips. "What did you do, Sebastian?"

"A few days," Berimund says. "We've redirected the camouflage shadow demon to train his sights on you. She'll be free from it within a week. I hope you know what you're doing, son."

"Thank you, sir, ma'am." I tip my head at both of them before guiding Marla away.

She bombards me with questions. Ignoring her, I continue our walk home.

"What the fuck did you do?" she asks, tears welling in her eyes. My dove's grip tightens on my shirt.

I grasp her shoulders in my hands, bringing her body against mine. "The best I could," I whisper.

"Sebastian?"

"I pled our case. This place is unfair as it is. However, I barely qualify with the sad-ass demon that chases me. I've been visiting the lords to demand they give me one of yours, but also to ask about the other portal and how other realms work."

Marla pulls back from me, staring up into my eyes, and I can't stand the anguish that lurks in hers.

"The window I watch the other realm from?"

"It's not real. It has never existed. Your shadow demon devised the sick joke. There are alternate realms, but none that you can see from Cavum Terra," I tell her.

Throwing the pile of sweaters against the smooth rocks in the underpass, creating a soft nest for us, I pull her hand to follow me. As we lie against the clothing, she lays her head on my chest. If I could cut my body open and keep her safe within my skin, I would in a heartbeat.

"What did they mean by the camouflage demon?" Marla pulls at a loose string on my collar, another one of her nervous habits, for sure.

"I took him on. You'll be free from it in about a week, I guess." I stroke her hair as sobs rack her body, and the warm tears soak my shirt.

The decision was effortless for me. I've always had tunnel vision with her. If easing one of her demons after decades of torment means she can breathe a little easier again, then at least I can save her a small amount, even if it has to be in the afterlife.

"Why?"

"I told you. Pain doesn't mean shit to me. Seeing you in the grips of torture day in and day out? I can't do it."

"How will I ever repay you?"

I chuckle. It's not funny, but I can't go back and kill the people who tainted her mind again. The family who made her feel like love was conditional. That every favour, gesture, and present was given with expectations. I shake my head. No, she deserves to know that she is enough.

"Your love has always been abundant, my dove. The way you look past my flaws and choose the soul attached to my body is more than enough."

"Thank you," she murmurs against my chest.

"My dove, I'd do anything for you. Forever, you are mine to protect, love, and cherish."