5. Five

five

I didn’t remember drifting off. One second, I was trying to assure myself that Penn simply meant to scare me—that his supposed concern for my safety was all an act. Then, the next thing I knew, I found myself in a dream. A very vivid dream that lacked the absurdity of normal ones.

A young woman with flowing crimson locks stood in front of me, and I inhaled the heady scent of lavender. She stepped aside, allowing me to study myself in the gilded mirror. It was my face, my gestures, but the woman staring back at me was more like a clone than a reflection.

She was me. Yet I was not her.

As my brain tried to piece together distorted thoughts, my body rose from the tufted stool and brushed white dust from the shoulders of my dressing gown. The redheaded lady’s maid waited for my reaction.

“Emilia, you’ve outdone yourself,” I declared, my mouth forming words half of my mind didn’t necessarily share.

The powder caked on my face was too much, the rouge on my cheeks too bright, and the scarlet paint on my lips too dry. And yet, instinctively, I knew this was the look I’d intended for the evening.

“As always, I have not a clue what I would do without you,” I said to Emilia.

She beamed and helped me into an emerald gown, the move like a carefully practiced dance we’d been perfecting over time. Once the deep green tulle skirt swished around my legs, Emilia began the laborious task of cinching each stay to enhance my waist and the curve of my hips as I held the bodice up over my corset.

Once she’d cinched me so tightly that I could barely breathe, Emilia clasped a necklace of star-set pearls that hung just over my breasts and matched the tiara she placed on the crown of my head. I examined my reflection again.

The dressmaker was an expert seamstress; she’d embroidered small gold stars along the sides and down the train of my gown. It was even more beautiful than I’d imagined when she shared the design with me initially.

Emilia placed a pair of torturously uncomfortable square-toed shoes with a small heel in front of my feet and then handed me gloves. “You will be the most beautiful woman at the Twin Comets Ball,” she said.

I smiled at her in the mirror. “Kind of you to say, though I imagine most others will only pay me the same compliment because I am the alpha’s daughter.”

“That doesn’t make it any less true,” she insisted, leading me away from the mirror and toward the door. “Your father is expecting you downstairs.”

The gold satin of my glove glided over the walnut railing of the sweeping staircase in our family’s second home. My father waited at the bottom, smiling proudly as he watched me descend. He pressed a kiss to my cheek before offering me his arm.

“Are you ready, Draconia?” he asked.

“Always, Papa.”

He nodded to the ushers—two young male wolves—who stood on either side of double wooden doors that stretched to the ceiling. We rarely used the city house, let alone the ballroom, but the passing of the Twin Comets was so rare that my father had the halls dusted off to invite the entire pack to celebrate in style.

When the entrance swept open, joyous orchestral music burst out to greet us. We entered the spacious hall as my father’s second-in-command, Gilles strode forward. The beta shook hands with my father, and then they embraced, clapping each other on the back. I stood as still as possible, a coy smile glued on my face and my fingers laced during the exchange, the eyes of the entire pack on our threesome.

When the men parted, Gilles bowed deeply to me. I extended a gloved hand, and he brushed his pillowy lips over my knuckles before gesturing to the dance floor. We walked, hand in hand, until we stood alone in the center of the wooden area. As a violin struck the first chords of a waltz, he bowed again, and I waved the bystanders forward with a sweep of my arm.

In a perfect mirror of Gilles’ movements, I swept to the right and dipped before stepping back and bringing my feet together. His broad shoulders were several inches above my mine, and his smile sparkled as he stared down at me with hazel eyes.

The ring of dancers moved in tandem with us as we progressed farther around the circle. Halfway through the loop, golden, untamed curls shone in my peripheral vision, latching a weight to the lighthearted revelry I felt.

Miki was Gilles’ brooding uncle, and not my favorite person. He couldn’t have been more stoic if he were a gargoyle on a cathedral spire. His gray eyes studied the ballroom, constantly searching for a threat in our midst. Each pass of his gaze spent an extra beat on me and his nephew, as if worried I might be the potential danger.

He was my father’s closest advisor, so the irritated expression brought a mournful note to the melody of the cellos. Miki had always been wary around me, rarely saying much and invariably keeping his distance.

The part of me aware this was simply a dream flew to the forefront, as if my brain wanted me to remember this moment.

My pulse raced as the song ended, and I curtseyed to Gilles while fanning my face.

“If you’ll excuse me, I need some air,” I said.

“Do you want company?” he asked, one corner of his mouth tugging upward.

“Both of us can’t disappear at the same time.” I forced a playful smile despite the growing tension in my muscles. “People would talk.”

He took my hand and bowed, dropping another kiss onto my gloved knuckles. “Promise you will save me another dance.”

“Of course.”

Fear lanced through me, but there was no discernible cause.

Gilles didn’t appear to notice. He released my fingers. It required every ounce of my willpower to take measured steps away from the dance floor, clapping politely for the musicians as my body pleaded for me to run.

Several council members moved as if to say hello, but I held a hand to my stomach as I waved. Better for them to think me sick than stand still while the desperate need to flee engulfed me. I burst into the rotunda, gesturing for the young wolves to close the door behind me.

A server passed from the kitchen with a platter of stem glasses filled with light-pink champagne and garnished with single petals of gold roses. I stepped into her path, and she paused and lowered her gaze.

“Princess,” she muttered

I downed one glass and plucked a second from the tray before moving to let her pass.

I’d never experienced the overwhelming tightness in my chest, the rocketing self-doubt, and the depths of despair. The sensations had come out of nowhere, and I couldn’t pinpoint a cause.

The whispering voice of my sleeping mind recognized it as a panic attack, but it wasn’t something easily defined in the time of my dream.

Sinking onto the first step of the staircase, I sipped my champagne and wondered what had come over me while the ushers pretended to look anywhere else. Tonight was for celebrations, for honoring another trip of the Gaia-blessed comets that promised greatness for our pack.

What was wrong with me? Why did I feel like this? How did I make it stop?

The man who strode into the rotunda as I finished my second glass of champagne sent my heart racing all over again. Miki had never hidden his disdain for me. He often wore an expression that suggested the mere sight of my blonde hair made him physically ill. As much as he loved my father, he loathed me.

The square cut of his jaw tensed and throbbed as he studied me. I knew the thoughts running through his head. He believed me unworthy of Gilles and the title of alpha’s daughter.

“Hello, Miki,” I said cordially.

He nodded once. “Draconia, lovely as ever this evening. My nephew clearly agrees.”

I stared up at him, my polite words at odds with my flat tone. “Thank you.”

I thought Miki would leave after the brief exchange, but his feet remained firmly planted. His expression darkened, gaze narrowing and pinning me to the step.

“Do you intend to take Gilles as your husband?” he asked at last.

I blinked, surprised the man dared to be so bold. The question of my marriage was a popular topic among our pack since I wasn’t just my father’s only daughter, I was his only child. My husband would become our next alpha.

The part of me aware that this was a dream found the notion strange. Succession in the Ophiuchus pack didn’t work that way, and I had no other point of reference.

“Wouldn’t that please you?” I lifted an eyebrow. “If Gilles and I marry, you will be uncle to my father’s heir. Surely, the prospect must bring a smile to even your perpetually frowning mouth.”

His jaw worked back and forth, uncontrolled anger swirling in his eyes. “No, Draconia, it would not please me. Not at all.”

The champagne emboldened me, loosening my tongue enough to ask, “Why do you hate me so much, Miki?”

I’d considered the question a hundred times and always concluded his disdain made no sense. Was it simply because I wasn’t male? Or was the reason more personal?

Miki stepped closer, his shiny formal shoes tracking dirt onto the train of my gown. I stared pointedly at the streaks of brown marring the embroidered twin comets at the end of my dress.

He ignored my irritation. “We need to talk, Draconia. In private.”

“I don’t believe we have anything to say to one another in private or otherwise,” I replied coolly.

Miki acted like I hadn’t spoken. “There is something you must know before you take a husband.” His gray eyes darkened. “Something about us.”

I bolted awake, flying upright even as my scream laced the air. My bedroom door swung open with enough force that the plaster behind the doorknob crumpled and cracked.

With the sight my wolf afforded me in the darkness, I watched Penn’s somber gaze dart around the room as though expecting to find an intruder in the shadows. He flipped on the light switch, confusion temporarily replacing concern when the recessed bulbs in my closet lit up.

He rushed to the desk, grabbing desperately for the lamp and, instead, knocking it over in the process. His hand darted out, just barely snatching it from the air before the ceramic hit the floor and shattered.

“I’m fine,” I said. My voice was disturbingly unaffected even while it trembled from adrenaline and fear. “It was just a dream.”

I reached over and tapped the switch beside my bed that turned on the overhead lights while Penn continued to fumble with the lamp.

“I’m fine,” I repeated.

Penn finally looked over at me. Our eyes met. Images from the strange dream floated through my mind and, for just a second, I forgot that in the real world my father would never attend another gala with me again.

Icy dread chilled me from the inside out.

The man standing in my room wasn’t the guy I thought I knew. He had stood by while his brother murdered my father and the rightful alpha. Hot, angry tears filled my eyes.

Penn shuffled his feet, the waterworks making him uncomfortable.

“Can I do anything?” he asked. “Or get you something?”

As if a cup of tea could relieve the ache in my chest. Nothing could change the truth, and I didn’t want his pity.

Penn stared at me, and I reconsidered the dream. My brain had conjured an entire timeline where the Twin Comets gala played out differently. Yet even now that I’d woken, I could still smell the oil of the shoe polish and feel the grit of the talcum powder on my skin. My ribs pinched as though held in stays, and my toes screamed to be released from the square-toed shoes with a pearl buckle.

But more than anything, the panic had stayed with me—the deep-seated sensation of something profoundly wrong. I knew exactly what despair festered in my waking life; was that what bled through into the dream?

“Drake, are you okay?” Penn asked, almost sounding like he cared.

“Get out,” I snapped.

Penn froze, his expression wilting as though I’d slapped him again. “I’m sorry for what happened to Basil. Finneus and I loved him, too.”

He couldn’t have incensed me more had he tried. My vision tinged red, and I experienced a level of rage I didn’t know existed.

“Your brother murdered my father. Don’t you dare call that love,” I seethed. “He gave you everything. Treated you like his own children, and this is how you repay him? Fuck you, Penn.”

His jaw worked back and forth, temper rising to match mine. “Finneus defeated Basil. According to Ophiuchus law, he is our alpha.” Penn’s gray eyes turned to steel. “ Your alpha, Drake. Accept it. He will ensure the future of our pack, a new dawn. Only you can ensure you’re around to see it.”

I brushed away the hair stuck to my forehead with sweat as I studied his serious expression. Penn truly believed his words, which I found singularly terrifying.

He remained quiet for several beats before finally saying, “Isn’t that what you want?”

“Oh, of course, I wanted your brother to betray my father. How silly of me to forget.” My humorless grin made him avert his gaze.

Penn swallowed thickly. “Careful, Drake. Speaking ill of your alpha isn’t a good look. Finneus didn’t betray anyone. Not according to pack law. Fate chose him to lead.”

I shook my head defiantly. “If Finneus truly believed that, he would’ve done the honorable thing and challenged my father fair and square. You know deep down that what happened wasn’t justice or pack law. Your brother is a traitor. He won’t lead us into a new age. All Finneus will do is bring pain and fear to our pack. I am certain of it.”

Penn opened his mouth, but I jabbed a finger at him before he spoke.

“Finneus is a coward, and this pack is only as strong as its alpha. He will be the death of us.” I glared, longing for the ability to obliterate him with my thoughts alone. “If you won’t get the fuck out of my house, at least have the decency to get the fuck out of my room.”