Chapter 29

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Rae

A s it turned out, the other place Zach wanted to take me was the local coffee shop in town. He remembered me saying I hadn't yet tried the coffee and had taken it upon himself to remedy that. We stood on the sidewalk outside the coffee shop called Muffin Top, each of us holding a large coffee and a small pastry bag.

When I first got to town, I remember thinking the name was ridiculous and the coffee was probably mediocre. Now Zach stood in front of me, his expression eager as he waited for me to bring the white paper cup to my lips and take a sip.

The moment the sugary, caffeinated beverage hit my tongue, I knew I'd been wrong. There was nothing mediocre about the coffee at all. It was... sublime. There was no other word to describe it. If the coffee was this good, I couldn't wait to try the almond croissant I'd ordered as well. But I liked the idea of making him sweat a little before giving him my reaction.

Doing my best to keep my eyes from rolling back in my head as I took another delectable sip, I made a show of holding it in my mouth like a sip of wine I was tasting for the first time before slowly swallowing it.

"Well?" he finally prodded when he had enough of my silence. "What do you think?"

Living in L.A. for so long had made me a good enough actress that he bought it when I lifted my shoulder in a shrug and mumbled, "Meh, it's okay, I guess. I've had better."

He looked downright crestfallen, and it took everything in me not to burst into laughter. "Are you kidding me?" he asked loud enough to draw the attention of people strolling along the sidewalk around us. "This is the best coffee in the entire state, and you think it's just meh ?" He raked a hand through his hair. "Oh my God. My girlfriend has terrible taste."

Man, he was cute when he was flustered and distraught. I couldn't keep up the charade any longer. My lips curled upward .

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Are you messin' with me?"

I nodded on a tiny laugh. "I am. Sorry. I couldn't help myself. It was just too tempting."

"You little jerk," he said, but there wasn't an ounce of venom in his voice as he pulled me to his side and slammed his lips against mine in a quick, demanding kiss. "I thought you were serious. What do you really think?"

I took another sip, unable to stop myself. If it wasn't so hot I probably would have chugged it down by now. "It's so good," I admitted on a groan. "Like, seriously, Zach. I think this is the best cup of coffee I've ever had. I want to find the creator of this liquid gold and pledge my life to them. I'm talking bend the knee and promise to give my life for theirs."

He chuckled, shaking his head at my ridiculousness. "Christ, you're cute." He went in for another kiss, but before his mouth fused with mine a shrill voice full of rage and hatred shot through the air. " Heathen ! You're gonna burn in hell, sinner!"

Zach's entire body locked up. He was frozen solid like he'd been encased in a block of ice. Worry replaced the happiness that had been filling me when I noticed all the color had drained from his face.

"Zach?" His eyes got this strange, far off look as he focused on something over my shoulder. It was like he hadn't heard me. "Zach," I repeated, sharper this time, causing him to blink out of it. "Who is that?"

The muscle in his jaw ticked as he ordered, "Get in the truck, Rae."

"God's gonna strike you down! You're wicked, you hear me? Wicked !"

I started to turn my head to look over my shoulder at who was suddenly causing a scene, but Zach's arm fell from my waist and he grabbed hold of my arm tightly, almost to the point of pain. "Truck, Rae," he barked, using a voice I'd never heard him use before. "Get in the goddamn truck now."

I caught sight of a woman screaming the vile epithets as Zach hauled me to the truck he'd parked along the sidewalk outside the coffee shop. She was raging against the man trying to hold her back. Her stringy brown hair flew every which way, partially blocking her face, but I could see how red she'd gotten; I could see the hate filling her eyes as she fought against the man's hold. Her arms and legs flailed, reminding me of a crazed, feral animal, and it looked like she was trying to break free to get to Zach.

He picked me up and stuffed me into the passenger seat unceremoniously before slamming the door so hard the truck wobbled on its frame. I could still hear the woman's screams as Zach booked it around the hood of the car to the driver's side. He was breathing like he just ran a marathon as he threw himself behind the wheel and cranked the engine.

"Zach, talk to me," I pleaded, panic gripping my chest as he wrenched the wheel around and hit the gas pedal so hard the tires squealed and the whole cab lurched forward. I braced one hand on the dashboard to keep from slamming into it and used the other to yank my seatbelt around me and snap it into place. "Please, baby. You're scaring me."

I looked over at his profile and barely recognized the man sitting beside me. He was pale and sweaty, every muscle pulled so taught it looked like a small breeze might make him shatter into a million pieces. "What's going on? Who was that woman?"

He remained silent, the muscle in his jaw fluttering so wildly I worried he might crack all of his molars. I wanted to keep pushing, but I knew I wasn't going to get anywhere. I sank down in my seat and the anxiety in my belly churned.

It wasn't until he turned onto the lane leading to the ranch that he slowed the truck to a reasonable speed. He pulled up in front of my cabin a few minutes later, throwing the truck into park and staring out the windshield almost in a daze as he choked the steering wheel in a white knuckled grip.

I unbuckled the seatbelt and slowly reached for the handle. "Are—are you coming in?" We needed to talk. I'd only ever seen him like this once before. The day at the grocery store. And he'd shut down on me afterward. I couldn't stand the thought of that happening again, of him closing himself off and shutting me out. I wasn't sure I'd survive it.

"Got somewhere to be." He never once looked in my direction, his tone devoid of all emotion. He sounded like a robot. This was déjà vu all over again.

"I think you should come inside," I said. "I don't think you should be alone right now."

"I'll see you tomorrow." To drive home the point that he wouldn't be joining me, he threw the truck into gear and kept his foot pressed down on the brake as he waited for me to get out. My heart dropped to my feet as I pushed the door open and climbed out. Tears burned the backs of my eyes as I turned to look back into the cab of the truck. It felt like someone had reached into my chest and was tearing my heart into tiny pieces. Zach was hurting, the agony and pain was rolling off him in waves. But he didn't want my help.

The instant I shut the door, he took off, sending dust and gravel spitting up from his tires, leaving me despaired and worried sick.

I didn't know where Zach had gone after he dropped me off at my cabin, but it hadn't been back to his house. After a few hours of frantic pacing, helplessness weighing heavily on my shoulders, I walked over to the barn to see if he was there, but there was no sign of his truck. It wasn't at the lodge either.

I called and texted, but each call went straight to voicemail and all my messages showed they were delivered but not read. I thought about heading to his special spot to see if that was where he was, but I wasn't familiar enough with the route we'd taken earlier that day to get there on my own.

The sun had long since dipped behind the mountains surrounding the town when I finally had enough. I couldn't stand it any longer. The secrets, the silence, the closed off zombie he'd become. Pulling my phone out, I scrolled through my contacts and tapped the screen when I got to the one I needed.

"We need to talk," I said as soon as the line connected .

Lennix's sigh carried heavily through the line and I could feel the weight of it from all the way over here. "I know."

"Your place or mine?"

Sadness dripped from her words as she answered. "I'll be there in ten."

When she showed up at my door ten minutes later, I was already half a wine glass in. I opened the door for her, thrusting the second glass into her hand before she'd even had a chance to enter. I had a feeling we were both going to need it.

She took two deep gulps while still standing on the front porch before finally moving inside. She sat on one side of the tiny sofa while I took the other cushion.

"I assume you've already heard about what happened in town earlier today?"

She nodded. "Small towns. My parents and I started getting phone calls almost as soon as it happened."

I wasn't surprised. The sidewalks had been busy when the whole thing went down, and it seemed like everyone in this town knew the Paulsons.

"Who was she?" I might have worded it like a question, but there was no mistaking I was demanding to know.

Lennix's chest deflated as she heaved out a breath. She finished off the glass of wine in seconds, then collapsed against the back of the sofa, drawing her knees up and wrapping her arms around them, curling in on herself.

"Obviously, you know my brother was adopted. Before my mom and dad found him, he was living with another foster family. Have you heard the name Caswells?"

I shook my head, my stomach sinking with each word she spoke. I didn't know where she was going with this, but I knew it wasn't going to be good.

"Doreen and Charles Caswell were his foster parents at the time. He and a few other kids were living in that house. I didn't see it, but my dad did, and I've heard stories. That house was a nightmare, Rae. If hell on earth existed, it was that house."

Tears welled in my eyes, fat and hot. I did nothing to try and stop them from breaking free and slipping down my cheeks as I sniffled. "Tell me."

"They forced those kids to live in their own filth. I mean that literally and in every way you could possibly imagine. Zach was one of the oldest, so he got it the worst. They beat them, starved them, locked them in a dark room with no food or water or bathroom. They were tortured, basically. That was how my parents came to find him."

My brows pulled together in confusion. "He told me it was because he threw a rock through the window of the bar."

"That's true. But he threw that rock because he'd been digging through the dumpster in the alley every night, looking for food. Mom thought it was racoons or something so she locked it up. The night he found it locked, he panicked. He threw the rock out of anger."

My hands slapped over my mouth, trapping in my sharp gasp as more tears spilled free. "Oh my God."

Lennix's eyes grew red and wet as she continued to recount the nightmare Zach had lived through. "My mom lost it when she found out what was happening to him. She and my dad weren't even together at the time. He was in the middle of trying to win her over, but they became a team after they found my brother. My mom was fierce. She demanded that CPS let her take him that very night. The next day my dad went with the police to the house and found all the other kids. Turns out, the woman, Doreen Caswell, was the cousin of Zach's caseworker. She'd been falsifying her reports to make it seem like they were a healthy, stable couple and they'd split the money they got for each of the kids they listed on the reports.

"They ended up going to prison where they all belonged." She sniffed and batted the tears off her cheeks as she shifted her body to face me. "There's a special place in hell for people like them. The caseworker is still locked up, but unfortunately, the Caswells were released shortly before you got here."

It was a strange thing to feel such a deep, gnawing sadness at the same time my entire body was lit from within with fury so strong it was a wonder smoke wasn't pouring from my ears. I'd never met these people, but I hated them. Hated ... them. I wanted them to hurt. To feel the same kind of pain they'd caused Zach.

"It was her, wasn't it? Doreen Caswell."

Lennix nodded. "That was her. She's sick. Sick and twisted. She never should have gotten out."

That was the understatement of the century. "Have you talked to him?" I asked once my tears had run dry. "Have any of you?"

She shook her head, her shoulders sinking forward with sadness. "We've tried, but I think he turned his phone off. He gets like this sometimes. We try to let him work it out on his own, but if my folks think it's taking too long, they intervene. They didn't want to wait this time, but we don't know where he is."

I nodded, understanding that we were all in the same boat, all feeling a level of helplessness that was nearly debilitating.

Lennix stayed a while longer, both of us using the others' presence to fill the gaping hole in our chests. But none of it would get any better until Zach came back. I walked her to the door, standing on the front porch and looking out toward Zach's house. His truck was still gone and the whole house was dark.

"Don't give up on him," Lennix called out, something in her tone slamming into me. It almost sounded like desperation. "I know it's hard when he shuts you out over things like this, but other than finding my parents, you're the best thing that's ever happened to him. So just... don't give up, okay?"

"I won't," I assured her.

She drove off and I closed myself back inside the cabin. I carried our wine glasses to the sink and shut off the lights on my way to the bedroom.

I wasn't going to give up on him. No matter what. But I also wasn't going to sit by and watch him suffer while I did nothing.

Curling up in a ball on my bed, I thumbed through my contacts until I got to my father and hit call. He answered, a ring and a half later.

"Hey, princess. How's it going?"

"Not too good," I admitted. "Dad, I need your help. Are you still friends with that PI who helped you track Mom down all those years ago?"

A beat of silence filled the line before he said, "I think maybe you should tell me what's going on before I answer that."

So I did. I told him everything, and he listened as I gave him everything, beautiful and ugly alike. Then, once I was finished, my cheeks tight from the salty tears, my father proved that he was one of the best men on the face of the earth by saying, "Grab a pen, sweetheart, and I'll give you his number."