Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty-Six

Rae

I was a nervous wreck.

I woke up anxious as hell, and it had only gotten worse as the morning progressed. I couldn't stop thinking about the party tonight and the fact that this was the first time a man was taking me to his parents' house.

Sure, I knew his family, and I saw them multiple times a week, but this was different. Before I was only another Safe Haven Ranch or Second Hope Lodge employee. Tonight I'd be seeing them as Zach's girlfriend—or his label-less woman or whatever I finally settled on. My reputation wasn't exactly sterling, and they all knew the reason I'd ended up on this ranch in the first place.

I couldn't stop worrying that they wouldn't approve of their son dating me. They would want to protect him from the drama that was my life before I came here—most of that drama I had either caused or willingly participated in.

This really was a crappy day to have off from work, because after Zach left earlier this morning, I'd had way too much time to pace my cabin and think of the million and one ways tonight could be an epic failure.

I tried to keep my mind off it and busy myself by cleaning the cabin, but as it turned out, it barely took an hour to clean a space that was less than eight hundred square feet if you didn't have to scrub cobwebs and a years' worth of un-lived-in grime off things.

I puttered around the tiny kitchen, experimenting with other recipes before I snapped. I couldn't stand my own company any longer. I had to get out of there, and only one person I could think of had the power to talk me off the ledge I was currently teetering on.

I headed out the front door and booked it to the barn in search of Zach. Anticipation at seeing him fizzed in my belly like a bottle of champagne that had been shaken up. I'd seen him a handful of hours ago, yet I already missed him. I wasn't sure whether or not that was healthy, but I decided to follow his lead and go with how I felt.

Sassy was out at pasture with the other horses, so I moved past the stalls, checking the tack room and other areas of the barn, and out the other side, keeping an eye out for Zach. Gretel was standing at the fence of her pen, watching me intently while the other goats played. I shot the animal a glare and pointed my finger in her direction. "I know you're thinking up ways to cause trouble. Whatever you're concocting in that head of yours, knock it off."

I was officially losing it. I was talking to animals like I was Dr. Doolittle or something. That couldn't have been a good sign.

"Rae?"

I spun around at the sound of Zach's voice and let out a heavy sigh of relief. Being in his presence was enough to calm the turmoil that had been swirling inside me all day.

"Hey. I was looking for you, but I thought maybe you were out in the east pasture today."

He hooked his thumb over his shoulder as he started in my direction in that trademark swagger that was natural to him. I took him in, every inch, from the backward baseball cap on his head, to the tee that stretched over his defined chest and biceps and the jeans I knew first-hand hugged his ass to perfection, to the dusty boots on his feet. He was walking, talking cowboy porn, in the flesh. "I was in the back office trying not to die of boredom as I went over some paperwork." His hand shot out as soon as he was close enough, his finger catching in the beltloop of my jeans and tugging me into him. "But things are lookin' up now that you're here."

My interest piqued, I rolled up on the balls of my feet and glanced over his shoulder. "There's an office in here? I didn't know that."

"Sure is. My least favorite place on the whole ranch." He grabbed my hand and pulled me along with him. "Come on, I'll show you. Maybe you'll let me talk you into making out there and I won't dread havin' to work there so much."

I let out a little giggle as I skip-walked to keep up with his longer strides. He took a left just past the tack room and moved farther down a hall I'd never been down. There was an open door at the very end, and as soon as we stepped through, I understood why he disliked it so much. It was pretty bleak. The furniture looked like it hadn't been replaced since the mid-seventies. And not in the cool vintage way that was coming back into style. The desk was littered with so much paperwork you could barely see the surface. Zach was the kind of man who needed fresh air, sunshine, and wide-open spaces, but the only sunlight filtering into the room was through a tiny, dingy window that had about twenty years' worth of grime coating it .

"What do you do in here?" I asked as I let go of his hand, curiosity tugging me toward the desk. I flipped through different charts and ledgers.

He groaned as he collapsed in the old, creaky executive chair behind the desk. I let out a yelp when he grabbed me by my hips and tugged me into his lap. "I have to work in here a few days a month to get caught up on mind-numbing clerical work. Bookkeeping, inventory, calendars, that sort of shit. My least favorite part of the job, but an unfortunate necessity. Without all this shit, the ranch would fail."

He shifted sideways so I could see him and I looped my arms around his neck as his fingers toyed with the loose strands of my hair, twirling them around his fingers absentmindedly. "If you hate it so much, why don't you hire someone else to do it so you can spend your time out there?" I jerked my chin toward the door.

"I want to, believe me, but it's hard to find the time when every hour of every day is crammed full."

I looked back at everything strewn across the desk. I don't consider myself a whiz at this kind of thing, but I had a knack for numbers. Back in school, I'd always been the top student in all my computer classes, and I was surprisingly good with spreadsheets and schedules. "Well... if you really need the help, I could do it," I offered, the thought of doing something instrumental in keeping this place afloat making me feel light inside.

"Baby, I can't ask you to do that."

I sifted my fingers through his short-clipped hair, enjoying the way the spikey ends rubbed against my palms. "You didn't ask. I offered."

"Yeah, but you'd be bored out of your mind in no time."

I shook my head. "I wouldn't, actually. I'm pretty good at this kind of thing. You show me the ropes and I'll have the hang of it in no time, trust me. I'm much better at this kind of work than I am out there."

He took my chin between his fingers and tilted my face down so he could nip my bottom lip with his teeth before soothing the sting with a tender kiss. "Don't sell yourself short, Rae. You've been an excellent hand since you got here."

I smiled at the praise, and at the easy way he touched me. "I appreciate you saying that, but I'm serious, Zach. I could be a much bigger asset to you in here than I am out there. Let me help. Please?"

He let out an exhale as his eyes danced across my face. "Okay, I'll show you the ropes. If you make it so the only reason I ever need to come in here is to see you, and maybe feel you up a little, I'll name our first-born child after you."

The laugh that bubbled up from my chest slowly tapered off when I realized he wasn't laughing with me.

"Speaking of kids, do you want them?" I choked on my own spit.

"Jeez, Zach, talk about zero to sixty in a minute."

His arms tightened around me. "Told you, baby, there's no rule saying how fast or slow we can go. I'm not sayin' I want to knock you up right now, but I'd be lyin' if I said I didn't like the idea of seein' you pregnant with my baby one day. So I have to know, do you see kids in your future?"

"I don't know. Maybe. Someday," I sputtered. "Honestly, I haven't given it a lot of thought, but I can see myself as a mom one day." I quickly shook my head to clear it of the image that suddenly popped up. "But I don't want to talk about that right now. I'm freaked out enough as it is. Talking about pregnancy and kids is going to make me spiral."

He leaned back in the chair, taking me with him despite the ominous groan it let out. I made a mental note to replace that chair first thing. "What are you freaking out about?"

I let out a huff and chewed on my bottom lip nervously. "I'm scared about the party tonight."

Zach's brow furrowed. "What? Why? I told you, it's not a big deal. They call it a party, but it's really just the family and a few close family friends."

"I know!" I cried. "That's why I'm freaking out. I've—I've never had a guy take me home to meet his family before," I admitted quietly.

"But, baby, you've met my entire family already. Many times."

I smacked him on his rock-hard chest and shot him a glare. "You know what I mean. Yeah, I know them... as Rae Blackwell, ranch hand and housekeeper. When I show up there tonight, I'll be there as Rae Blackwell, their only son's girlfriend. What if... what if they don't like the idea of us being together?"

He studied me for several seconds before dropping his head back on a long, deep belly laugh. I struggled in his lap, trying to get free, but he wouldn't let go. "Baby," he sputtered once he got ahold of himself. "You have nothing to worry about."

"You can't know that," I said with a pout.

His grin was light and mischievous. "I can, actually. Grandma spilled the beans yesterday about two seconds after we walked out of the lodge, and I've already been fielding calls and texts from my mom and sister. Lennix is beside herself, and Mom keeps goin' on about how happy she is that her son is dating the daughter of one of her best friends. Apparently it's been a dream of hers for twenty-three years."

My eyes widened, my lips parting. "Really?"

He chuckled, leaning in to nuzzle the crook of my neck. God, I loved it when he did that. "Really, Rae. My family only wants me to be happy, that's all. And if you make me happy, they're gonna love you."

I let my eyes fall, watching my fingers as I anxiously toyed with the collar of his shirt. "You make it sound so easy."

"That's because it is." Zach's fingers pressed beneath my chin, tipping my face back up to his. "This place comes by its name honestly, Rae. It's a safe haven for every person who sets foot on it. This place is big on second chances, and the minute you crossed under that wooden arch, your past was wiped clean. You won't find any judgement here. As long as its where you want to be, you'll belong. I want you to belong here, Rae. I want you to belong with me."

My heart did summersaults in my chest. "I want that too."

He pulled me in, bringing me close enough that he could brush his lips against mine. "Then that's all that matters. Put everything else out of your head."

It was easier said than done, but for him, I'd try my hardest.