52. Chapter Fifty-Two

Chapter Fifty-Tw o

Indy — Now

“ I f you’ve got nothing to hide, then you’ll let me search your house.”

“Oh, I’ve got plenty to hide.” I leaned back in my chair from where I sat behind the admissions table, holding Patty’s intense gaze. She raised a brow, and I did the same; I could do this all day. I looked past her big, feathered hair, seeing a line of people growing behind her. There was a mixture of strangers and familiar faces, young and old, all likely eager to get their face painted or play carnival games. I should move this along, but I couldn’t resist a good time. “Be sure to check Nolan’s house. I have two bodies hidden there, but I can assure you neither of them are Calder Rohan.”

She narrowed her eyes. “I can get a search warrant.”

I laughed, mostly at the idea of the sheriff’s department’s secretary forging a warrant. “Or you can save yourself the trouble and look online—eventually you’ll find proof that Calder is in Hawaii and not in my basement waiting to surprise you.”

Her shoulders dropped. From the Boston Falcons shirt she wore, she’d been excited to meet the star center fielder. Patty wasn’t the only one. It was barely ten in the morning, and I’d repeated at least fifty times that he wasn’t here. “Alright.” She reached into her purse. “Go ahead and give me ten raffle tickets. ”

I smiled, thanking her as the high school student beside me handed her raffle tickets. “Did you want to sign up to play in the tournament?”

She scoffed and pushed her glasses up her nose, apparently uninterested in playing baseball. “No. Put me down for the pie toss.”

I laughed and added her name to the long list of people signed up for a chance to nail Sherriff Turner with a pie. I might’ve felt bad for him if he hadn’t agreed to it, assuming it would raise a good chunk of money.

I was grateful for every bit, as I had no idea how today’s fundraiser would go. When Calder hadn’t shown yesterday, I’d considered flying to Hawaii and dragging him to Arizona by his ear. Evelyn had practically given me permission to do so. But amid my frustration, I’d realized Calder’s decision didn’t affect me, and instead called the one person I knew I could rely on.

I looked to my right, heart fluttering at the sight of the players warming up on the baseball field. There was no denying people were disappointed they weren’t meeting a major league baseball player, but they seemed to move on once they heard there was going to be a legends vs. rookies game—a chance for the high school’s alumni to play the current high school baseball team.

“I’m so tired already,” Lisa said, stopping by where I was set up at the front entrance of the football field. She’d been moving most of the morning, ensuring the booths were set up and good to go. The kids on her soccer team were running the dunk tank. “I’m pretty sure the entire town is here.”

I glanced over my shoulder, and sure enough, it felt like the whole town was gathered on the football field. There was a Ferris wheel at the fifty-yard line, sandwiched between the ring toss and beer pong—but instead of beer, we’d used Mountain Dew to fill the red Solo cups. Across the field and beneath some shade, we’d set up corrals for kids to ride horses and pet llamas. Booths were scattered over every inch of grass, ranging from bake sales to apple bobbing to balloon darts. Even Grumpy Gus had a watermelon-eating contest going.

“I’m still sorry about Calder,” I told her, knowing how excited her students had been. They’d even made him signs. “I talked to his agent. She’s going to see if she can arrange for him to come down and talk to your class still. ”

“Don’t worry about it,” she said, just as she had last night. “Like I told you, I’m thrilled I won’t have to fight Charlie over asking Calder to sign his ass.” I laughed, almost wishing I’d gotten to see that. “Besides, I should be thanking you. Without you, I’m not sure this would’ve even happened.”

I waved her off. If I hadn’t stepped up, someone else would have. The crowd of people behind me was proof of that. Before I could say as much, she said, “I’m going to walk around and get more donations. I’ll see you later?”

Telling her I’d see her at the game, I went back to helping with admissions. I signed ten more people up for the pie toss and bore the bad news about Calder twice as often. I was about to text Nolan when someone said, “You’re such a hoe.”

I dug my nails into my palms, ready to throw hands. “Excuse—”

I covered my mouth, strangling down my remark at the sight of my sister’s grin. She held her arms out wide, blonde hair falling past her shoulders and curtaining around the newborn swaddled to her chest. In the back of my mind, I registered that our parents, along with her husband and sons, were behind her, but I could only focus on her.

My sister was here.

Eyes burning, I stumbled out from behind the table, and in an awkward attempt to not smush my baby nephew, I hugged Auburn from behind. She wrapped her arms around herself to squeeze me back, laughing as she yanked my hair, and I pinched her side in return.

“You’re so embarrassing,” she complained when I held on to her, as though the tears in my eyes weren’t a mirror to the ones in hers.

I buried my face deeper into the crook of her neck, pretending to wipe my snot on her. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, you know. I was in the mood for Dad’s chili.” She twisted out of my hold to face me. She raised a light brow, her skin tan and dusted with freckles. There were tired circles beneath her green eyes and what looked to be dried spit-up on the sleeve of her shirt. But the smile she gave me was teasing and light, as though she wasn’t exhausted not only from having a newborn but having traveled with her family. “You didn’t think I was here for you, right? ”

I snorted. “I’d be bothered if you were.”

We shared a shaky laugh, wiping the tears beneath our eyes. I hadn’t realized how much I missed her until she was right in front of me. Her hand touched mine, and I latched on. Despite our words, I knew she was here for me. And I was so grateful for it.

After telling my nephews and brother-in-law hi, I made my way to my parents. I hugged Dad, and even though Mom and I hadn’t talked since our argument, I hugged her too. I didn’t know where we stood, but I was glad she was here. “Nolan has a booth if you want to check out some of his carvings,” I told Dad. “Brooks is running it. He’s set up beside Shay’s bake sale.”

Agreeing to meet up at the game in a little bit, I went back to helping where I could with the fundraiser. After refilling an igloo with lemonade, and with the game about to start, I walked toward the baseball fields.

All day I’d resisted the pull toward them and instead satisfied my need with stealing glances at Nolan on the field. Since it wasn’t high school baseball season, he’d spent the morning getting the field prepped for the game.

I loved him.

I didn’t know what the future held, but as sure as the sky was blue, grass was green, and water was wet, I knew I loved Nolan Graham.

And I had no interest in stopping.

He must’ve seen me walking up, as he strolled out of the away team’s dugout and toward me. He wore long white baseball pants and a plain navy shirt. Despite playing baseball for the first time in nearly a decade, his frame was loose, his smile easy. “Thought I’d have to drag you up here and away from tossing pies at Sheriff Turner.”

“Figured I’d tortured him enough.”

He gave me a crooked grin. “Your sister told me she hit him with two. One for each of you.”

I laughed and looked over his shoulder to where Auburn was watching us—along with half the people on the bleachers. Even knowing that, I put my hands on Nolan’s jaw and brought his lips down to mine. I kissed him slowly, deeply. And when I pulled back and saw the disbelief in his eyes, like he couldn’t believe I was kissing him in front of practically the whole town, I kissed him again.

“It’s the baseball pants, isn’t it?” he teased once I stopped kissing him, solely because I couldn’t handle it if Auburn screamed for Nolan to grab my boob one more time. She was a menace. “You’ve never been able to resist them.”

“Nah. Just the man wearing them.” Before he could tell me how cheesy I was, I asked, “How’s your arm?”

“Good enough to play first base. Tanner’s pitching.”

I let out a breath, relieved he hadn’t felt pressured to pitch. I was grateful for his support, but I’d told him a handful of times last night he didn’t have to play at all. He’d told me he was excited to play but that he didn’t want to pitch. His shoulder still irritated him occasionally, and he’d admitted he was worried what memories pitching might bring up.

I was positive the town would’ve loved to see their golden boy step on the mound, but I was glad Nolan had accepted he didn’t owe them anything. He’d told me the same yesterday after the Calder fiasco. We hadn’t talked about him suggesting I fly to New York early, hadn’t talked about my leaving at all.

I was considering broaching the subject when Lisa’s voice played over the field speakers, inviting everyone toward the game. Wishing Nolan good luck, I kissed his cheek before going to stand behind the backstop fence.

After “The Star-Spangled Banner” played, Lisa stood with her soccer team at home plate and thanked everyone for coming and for their donations toward funding the sports program. Ruby and Madison, the soccer team co-captains, shared how playing sports had affected their lives. One wouldn’t have been able to afford college this coming year if she hadn’t earned her athletic scholarship, and the other spoke about how sports kept her busy and helped her form genuine friendships.

Through it all, I watched Nolan, thinking of the fifteen-year-old boy who’d once thought his worth and his ability to play baseball went hand in hand. The man who’d thought he’d lost everything, yet somehow managed to make a good life for himself .

Wrapped up in my pride for him, I didn’t realize Lisa had called my name until Zeke, one of her students, nudged my shoulder and pointed to his teacher. She motioned me toward her, and I raised a brow, confused. More than aware everyone was watching me, I walked onto the baseball diamond.

Stepping up to home plate, I said to Lisa, “If someone chucks food at me, don’t expect me not to throw it back.” Laughter filtered through the air, and a lump swelled in my throat—I’d said it loud enough for the microphone to catch.

“Oh, sweet Indy.” She tossed an arm around my shoulder and addressed the crowd. “When I heard she was back, my first thought was: Quick! Somebody hide the new stop signs before Indy decides to use them for target practice.” I forced a laugh, dread filling my belly. Where was this going? “So when I talked to Indy for the first time since high school, I didn’t know what to expect. Thought she might try to steal my husband,” she teased and squeezed my arm, doing nothing to ease my nerves. “Anyways, we’re talking, and it’s nothing special. But in the middle of that, I bring up my work. How the sports program is getting slashed. I expect her to brush it off. She doesn’t live here; it doesn’t concern her. But she offers to help instead. I’m surprised, but I chalk it up to her being polite. Figure I’ll never hear from her again,” Lisa continued. “Except, a few days after that, Indy tells me she’s going to run a fundraiser. She’s even bringing a superstar athlete. We all know how that panned out, but the point is, as I’ve watched her this past month, I’ve realized I shouldn’t have been surprised. She’s always helped people—she just likes to put her own special twist on it. So thank you, Indy.”

My face grew even hotter at the soft applause through the crowd. Fifteen-year-old Indy—hell, even a month ago Indy—would’ve beamed beneath Lisa’s kind words. I would’ve basked in the town’s applause and said See! I told you I was worth something! But as they clapped, and Lisa and a few of her athletes hugged me, I realized it did nothing for me.

Not because their opinions or appreciation didn’t matter, but because I’d already come to that conclusion on my own. I wasn’t my past. I wasn’t my mistakes. I wasn’t my hard days. I didn’t have to prove myself; I owed no one anything. I was enough for me.

I scanned the bleachers and caught the gaze of my family. Of Shay and Brooks. Of Jake and Levi, who’d surprised us by coming down. And for the first time in my life, I felt at home. It wasn’t a place; it was them.

After Lisa enthusiastically yelled play ball into the microphone, we made our way off the field. Spotting Shay waving me down in our matching Team Graham jerseys, I started toward her and Winnie, just as Lisa caught my wrist, stopping me. “Sorry if I embarrassed you.” She gave me a sheepish smile, not looking so sorry after all. “I just wanted to make sure everyone knew it’s because of you the sports program got saved.”

I was about to protest it wasn’t because of me when her words sunk in. “Wait—we hit the goal?”

Her smile widened into a grin. “Enough for two more school years. Hopefully by then the school district will have applied for more grants.” I squealed and pulled her in for a hug. I hadn’t realized how invested in this I was until now. “Didn’t Nolan tell you?”

I stepped back, dropping my arms to my side. “Tell me what?”

She furrowed her brows, surprised. “About his donation.”

I looked to where Nolan was playing first base. I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but I could see his smile as he talked to one of the high school players, likely praising him on the hard line drive he’d just hit into the outfield.

I knew then what he’d done, but my chest burned something fierce when Lisa told me the amount Nolan had donated in his father’s name. It was exactly half of the money his dad had left for him. He’d donated his end of our deal. He’d given up the bar so someone else could have a better chance of achieving their dreams.

“You can’t tell me what I can or can’t do in your bed.” Auburn plopped down on the mattress in my childhood bedroom, the headboard rattling against the wall. “It’s not even yours anymore.”

I groaned, pressing my forehead to the doorframe. “I’m begging you, please don’t have sex in my room.”

“What about the wall—”

Leo choked on a sound, his eyes wide as he stepped out of the bathroom with my freshly bathed newborn nephew in his arms.

“Did you hear that, babe?” Auburn asked, and I had no doubt it was to get a rise out of her husband. “You’ll have to wear your chastity belt tonight. Meanwhile, Indy’s gonna be going to—”

“I’m going downstairs to talk to your dad . . . or literally anyone else who isn’t you two.” Auburn and I laughed, and I smiled as Leo bent and kissed my sister goodnight, lingering long enough to murmur something in her ear. I couldn’t hear what he said, but her reddened cheeks told me I didn’t want to know. Despite what Auburn seemed to believe, I hoped to never know what they did in the sheets.

Leo patted my shoulder, and I told him goodnight. I didn’t know him well; I’d only met him a handful of times. He was quieter, more reserved than my sister, but he was good to her, and he was a great dad too.

Yawning, I rubbed at my temples, body aching. It was almost midnight, and I was exhausted. The fundraiser had ended at nine, but cleanup had lasted forever, on top of getting Auburn’s two older boys down for bed in her old room. It took me bribing the little hellions with ice cream and brownies to convince them to go to sleep.

“Thank you for coming,” I said as Auburn situated herself on the bed, her newborn, Jude, in her arms. She wouldn’t complain, but I knew it had been no small feat to road-trip to Arizona from Texas. “Best sister ever.”

She made a face, as though to say duh . “Just means you owe me a visit.”

I didn’t disagree, my gaze lingering on my nephew in her arms. Stomach squirming, before I could back out, I asked, “Can I hold him?”

Rather than pointing out how I hadn’t wanted to hold his brothers when they were babies, she patted the mattress beside her. Mouth dry, I sat down, and after she showed me how to support his head, I cradled him in my arms. My shoulders were stiff, my heart racing so fast I thought it might wake him. He was almost two weeks old, rolls beginning to form on his wrists and ankles. His hair and eyes were dark, taking after his dad and brothers.

“See? It’s not so scary,” Auburn whispered as he closed his eyes, his lashes lying against his cheeks. “You’re going to be a good mom someday, Indy.”

She rested her head against my shoulder, and I felt the truth of her words down to my bones. It was enough I found myself confiding in her about my loss. I revealed my guilt, the sorrow and helplessness. How alone I’d felt. But I gave her the good too. How Nolan and I planted a tree. I shared with her the name we’d given it, and the peace I found in doing so.

When I finished, I was relieved Auburn didn’t try and make sense of the situation. Didn’t tell me everything happens for a reason , nor ask why I hadn’t told her sooner. Instead, she grabbed my hand. “I’m sorry you lost your baby.”

I stayed beside her for a while longer, making up for our time apart. When she could barely hold her eyes open, I said goodnight, promising I’d bring Nolan by to meet his nephews tomorrow.

Smiling to myself, I closed the bedroom door and crept down the stairs. Auburn would pull my hair out if I woke her sleeping kids. The lights were off, save for the night light in the living room, illuminating Leo, asleep on the couch. I’d planned on spending the night, but Genny was at Nolan’s. Even if she weren’t, that was where I wanted to be.

I scooped Dad’s keys off the counter, grateful he’d loaned me his truck this month. I’d need to get my own soon. When I stepped onto the front porch, the evening air was brisk enough I might’ve run to the truck—had there not been someone on the porch steps.

Mom’s back was to me, her elbows on her knees, her chin resting in the palm of her hand. “Mama?” I stopped by the railing beside her, the wood creaking beneath my boots. “Is everything okay? ”

“Just thinking.” Her gaze was onward, as though she was content to stare at the forest beyond her driveway for the rest of the night. She wasn’t wearing a jacket, and I was thinking about offering to get a blanket when she said, “Today was a good day.”

It was. Not solely because the kids had reached their goal, but I’d loved watching Nolan play. They’d lost, but I had the best time cheering alongside Shay and Auburn, and I was certain I’d never laughed as hard as I did when Charlie crawled from third to home plate, claiming he was too damn old for this. From there, we did sack races, and after beating Brooks two times, Levi and I tossed a pie in his face. Then, with Winnie on his shoulders, Nolan and I walked hand in hand around the football field, eating cotton candy and catching snippets of the couples dancing in Heath’s competition. Neither of us had brought up competing, and I was okay with that.

I’d already won.

“You going to Nolan’s?” Mom asked, and I dipped my chin, bracing myself. But she only nodded, a faint smile on her lips. “You mind sitting with me for a few minutes?”

We hadn’t talked since I’d told her the truth about how I was feeling. I had no idea if she wanted to move forward or if she simply wanted a few minutes together, but I sat down, willing to try.

“In a town this small, sometimes it feels like I’m living in a glasshouse. Everyone knows everyone’s business, and there’s no hiding it.” She twisted to face me, hand propped against her cheek. “It’s even harder when they seem to mistake my daughter as their own, and don’t mind pointing out to me what they think she’s doing wrong. How she moved Mrs. Wilken’s garden gnomes again and went skinny-dipping in the lake. Truth be told, I didn’t mind and neither did your dad. You were being a kid.” She smiled to herself, shaking her head. “But I did mind when I’d overhear them in my own diner, talking about how impulsive and wild my daughter was. How she’d never settle down if she didn’t get her head out of the clouds.”

She grasped my hand, as though worried those words had hurt me. But they didn’t hurt—not anymore. “It’s why I was so hard on you,” she continued. “ I wanted you to prove them wrong. I wanted them to eat their words and see just how capable you were . . . but I was wrong for that, Indy. If I hadn’t been so caught up in them, I would’ve seen you could’ve proved that by being exactly who you are—my fiery, spirited, passionate daughter.” She cupped my cheek, and I blinked hard, my eyes burning. “I’m sorry, Indy. I don’t expect you to forgive me today, but I hope you know how proud I am of you. I’ll love you no matter where you go in life.”

I let out a shaky breath and wrapped my arms around her. It was the first time in years that it felt like there was nothing between us when we hugged. I didn’t know where we’d go from here, and I imagined it would take time for wounds to heal, but it was a step.

After telling her I loved her, I climbed into Dad’s truck and drove to Nolan’s. The porch light was on, but the house was otherwise dark. Through the backyard fence, I spotted his shed lights flicker on. I’d told him I was spending the night at my parents’, so he must’ve decided to stay up and work. Climbing out of the truck, I pulled out my phone to turn the flashlight on, stopping when I realized I had two new emails.

They’d been sent this afternoon, but I must’ve missed them in the excitement of the day. One was from Evelyn, telling me she was wishing me luck and that she was cheering me on from New York. The other was from Victory Lap Agency’s human resources department, notifying me I was scheduled to interview for the agent position.

The interview was in five days.

Heart racing, I smiled and closed the email before starting toward the backyard. Nolan believed I could do anything I wanted. And for the first time, I believed him.

I knew exactly what I wanted.

And not even he could stop me.