13. Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

Nolan — Now

I unbuckled my seatbelt and leaned back against my seat, the sound of leather crinkling filling the cab of my truck. Keeping the engine running, I switched off the headlights, the evening light just enough I could make out the house thirty feet from me. I pushed the lock on my truck door, as though to stop me from stalking up to Seth and Lila’s home, pounding on the front door, and demanding Indy come outside and finish the argument we’d started at the bar.

I needed you to say something.

I couldn’t blame my silence on being caught off guard or not entirely knowing what to say. Even now, as I stared up at Indy’s childhood window, I could taste the words on the tip of my tongue. They’d been choking me for almost a decade.

But tonight, when Indy walked away from me yet again, I couldn’t bring myself to say them. Instead, after several failed attempts to coax her into my truck, I’d followed her back to her parents’ place, ensuring she made it safely.

Like that could wash away all the times I’d failed her before.

I didn’t know what I’d been thinking tonight. No, that wasn’t true. I’d known damn well what I was doing. I’d thought one look at Indy in her element and everyone would fall at her feet. She’d dance and they’d beg to join her. She’d laugh and toss back drinks, and they’d want a taste of whatever she was having. She’d have a good time, and soon enough, everyone would forget about the past.

Maybe she’d only ever had that effect on me.

I should’ve called it quits the moment I caught her hiding in the bathroom. Instead, I’d hung her out to dry and didn’t look back. I was eager to get this over with, ready to claim my peace. Hell, I thought I was on the right track after Heath read Dad’s letter and agreed to sell me the bar once I had my share of the money. Except now all I’d done was bury myself in more regret.

Why had I thought they’d welcome Indy with open arms? Beyond Charlie and Lisa, no one had made a real effort to talk to her. They’d treated her like an outcast, quick with their remarks. I’d held my breath each time, waiting for Indy to snap something back, to tell them they had no right to hold a grudge over something they knew nothing about. But she’d stayed silent, accepting their words like they were fact. The only time she’d showed even a hint of the fire she used to burn with so brightly had been for me, calling Sam out on his shit.

But that flame was smothered out before it could fully catch.

If I wanted, I could blame Bethany’s behavior on Indy running out. But there was no denying it had everything to do with me standing by and doing nothing. Hell, I’d done the same thing when she was arrested. If I was being honest, I’d been doing it for years. I could swear on a Bible that I’d never uttered a foul word about Indy, but did that matter when I’d never tried to stop it?

I let out a heavy breath and grabbed the divorce papers atop my dash. When Indy had walked into her parents’ house and closed the front door, I tried to convince myself to sign them. I’d started this for purely selfish reasons, wanting to prove to her and Dad I was a better man. And besides the cash, Indy had nothing of real value to gain from staying married to me.

I could let go. I’d done it with Mom. Finally stopped begging her to come home to a family she wanted no part of. Took a few years, a few times of falling flat on my face, but I’d let her go.

I should do the same with Indy. Give her what she wants. Set her free.

But I’d never known when to call it quits .

I tossed the papers back onto the dash, shifted the truck into reverse, and hightailed it out of there, not stopping until I was through town and in my driveway. Hopping out of my truck, I started toward the backyard. It was late, and I should get to bed, but I couldn’t ignore the frenzy brewing inside me. If I didn’t do something with my hands, I might find myself back at Indy’s place. Might find myself crawling through her window and tangled in something we’d both regret in the morning.

“Nolan?”

I froze at the sound of a familiar voice and turned, realizing there was a woman sitting on my porch steps. “Hey, Shay.” I made my way toward her, silently chastising myself for hoping it was a different woman—someone I couldn’t get out of my system, no matter how hard I tried. “What are you doing here?” I asked, not because I wasn’t happy to see my sister-in-law, but it wasn’t often she stopped by alone, much less in the middle of the night.

The porch creaked as I sat beside her, and Shay’s voice wobbled. “I need to talk to you about something.”

“Is Brooks okay—”

“He’s fine.” She pushed a pink strand of hair behind her ear. “But before I tell you, promise you’ll remember I birthed your favorite person in the whole world.”

I cracked a smile, the mention of my niece alleviating some of the tension of tonight. “I’ll remember.”

“Okay, remember when Levi was down for summer break, and we went through the sheds in your backyard and cleaned them up?”

I nodded, not understanding where this was going. With my little brother home this past summer, we’d set out to do something we’d long avoided. Cleaning out the shed shouldn’t have been a big deal, but it meant going through and parting with most of Dad’s belongings. It had been hard but necessary, especially since I was using the shed as my workspace.

“I didn’t make the connection until tonight, but when we went through your dad’s belongings, I found some paperwork. It was mostly tax documents, boring things like that. But there was a letter . . . one addressed to Indy Tyler. It didn’t have an address, but I thought maybe they were related to Lila and Seth Tyler. So I swung by the diner, and Seth told me it was his daughter and gave me her address so I could send it to her. I swear I had no idea what it was, otherwise I never would’ve sent it.” She pulled at the sleeves of her sweater. “I should’ve asked you or Brooks who she was, but it was hard enough on you guys going through your dad’s things, and I wanted to be helpful, and I’m so sorry—”

“Darlin’.” I kept my voice steady and low, wanting to stop her train of thought before it was too late. “You have nothing to be sorry for. It’s no big deal.” She gave me a wide-eyed look as though to say otherwise. “Okay, maybe it is a big deal. But it’s one I needed to know about, and thanks to you sending the letter, now it’s one I can fix.”

She pressed her lips together and watched me, likely searching for any unease. “You’re sure you aren’t mad? I basically summoned your evil ex-wife—”

I laughed then, shaking my head. “I’m not angry, Shay. You were just trying to help.” I ran a hand through my hair, searching for the words. “And Indy might be my ex, but she’s not evil. Not at all.”

She was . . . she was Indy.

She nodded, seeming to accept my words. What was done was done, and being angry wouldn’t change the past. It was quiet for a long moment, and I thought she might leave, but then she said, “You never told me about her . . . or that you were married.”

I let out a deep breath, not having much of an explanation to give. When Shay first moved here, she’d worked for Lila and Seth at the diner. If her parents hadn’t mentioned I was married to their daughter, they must’ve felt the same way I did. “Nothing worth telling.”

She rolled her lips together. “I’ve heard what the town says about her. How she’s selfish and arrogant . . . so tonight when we got home, I expected Brooks to hunt Indy down. Tell her to get lost.” I’d partially expected the same—we both knew how protective he could be. “I was prepared to barricade him in our room until I could convince him to let you handle yourself, but instead he went inside and rocked Winnie to sleep. Later, when I told him the truth and asked what he wanted to do, he told me he wasn’t going to do anything, at least beyond helping you see this through.” She gave me a tender smile, lifting a shoulder. “I guess people can change for the better, huh?”

I dipped my head, silently agreeing with how much Brooks had grown over the years. Before I could credit that to Shay, she said, “I’m probably overstepping, but you and your brothers stood by me when it felt like I had the whole world against me. And after the rumors I’ve heard flying through town . . . I’ve got a feeling Indy might need someone like that. Someone like you.”

Unlike earlier, I didn’t disagree. Didn’t try and reason that Indy could take care of herself. She needed a friend. Someone to stand beside her. She deserved that. But as much as I believed it, I wasn’t sure that person was me.

Like my brother, I might’ve grown, but there were pieces of myself I couldn’t change. I might be able to smother and hide this weakness within me, but it would always be there. Waiting to pull me under. I wasn’t the man Indy needed.

But hell . . . I wanted to be. Just as badly as I’d wanted to be back then.