Chapter 75

Anna was gently awakened by a trail of light kisses down her back. She slowly opened her eyes and saw Devin leaning over her, kissing her back and stroking her skin softly.

“Good morning, Baby.”

“Good morning, Master...” She bit her lip, wondering—and a bit frightened—at the change in his demeanor.

She turned onto her side as he lay beside her and twirled a piece of her hair around his finger. “You pleased me immensely last night, Anna. I am very happy.”

“Thank you, Master. I tried my best.”

“You did very well, Baby.” He leaned forward and kissed her gently on the lips. “Perhaps I’ve been too harsh on you in the past. All you want to do is please me, right?”

“Yes, Master.” She searched his eyes and saw nothing but sincerity.

He pulled her close, pressing his body against hers, and kissed her again, heating her body with his desire. When he pulled away again, she swallowed and looked into his eyes. They were still black as the night, but there was a hint of kindness in them that warmed her whole body. He studied her eyes for a moment, smiled, and kissed her again.

She returned the kiss eagerly, basking in his approval and affection. His kisses became more insistent, but not in a cruel way. She couldn’t remember the last time he’d kissed her.

His hand slid up her side and caressed the side of her breast while he nibbled on her lower lip. A rush of warmth flooded her body, and she hesitantly touched his chest.

“Yes, Baby,” he whispered. “You can touch me. I like it.”

She ran her hands gently across his taut chest. He was still lean and well built, but the black hair on his chest had strands of silver interspersed throughout. The hair on his head was similar, and she ran her fingers through it. It was still thick and soft, but tiny bits of silver caught the morning light. Anna guessed him to be forty-six or forty-seven now.

He smiled. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

She snatched her hand away and lowered her gaze. “I’m sorry, Master.”

He caught her hand and kissed her palm. “Don’t apologize. I was just wondering what was going on in that pretty little head of yours.”

Anna bit her lip and looked up. He didn’t seem angry, but was he vain enough to get upset if she shared her observations? “I was... noticing the silver in your hair,” she said softly and carefully.

His smile broadened into a boyish grin. “I am getting older, aren’t I? Time seems to go fast at this age.”

Anna smiled shyly. “There’s not that much. It looks... debonair.”

He laughed. “Thank you, Baby. You’ve changed too. Definitely not a girl any longer.” He slid his hand down her waist to her hip. “You’re all woman now,” he murmured, rolling on top of her and kissing her again. He moved down to her neck and kissed it until she squirmed and moaned. “Though just as sweet.” He nudged her legs apart and groaned as he buried himself slowly in her body.

Anna arched her back and gasped as he filled her. “Master...”

“My name, Anna. Call me by my name.”

“Devin . . .”

Later, in the shower, Anna smiled to herself as she cleaned up from lovemaking with Devin. He was kind and gentle again. She’d pleased him and he’d turned back into nice Devin! It was... frightening in some aspects, but she liked it.

He came into her bathroom as she stepped out of the shower. “I’ll see you tonight.” He kissed her. “At the foot of the bed when I get home, right?”

Anna nodded and smiled. “Yes, Devin.”

He flashed an affectionate grin and left.

She grinned into the mirror. She would do her very best to keep him happy. Then maybe he wouldn’t get angry anymore.

She couldn’t stop smiling and humming to herself as she drove to the studio later that morning. She thought again about how best to keep Devin happy: Eat properly. Dance well. Obey. Then everything would be okay.

“Hey, Anna.” Travis grinned at her as she walked to the barre . Travis had stood next to her in the corner during the previous day’s class and had apparently been waiting for her again.

“Good morning.” She dropped her bag on the floor and sat. She felt him watching her and glanced up. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You looked so upset yesterday, but today you seem really happy. What happened?”

Anna flushed, remembering Devin’s lovemaking. “Devin’s nice again. I’ve pleased him.”

Travis frowned. “He’s being nice?”

“You don’t believe me?”

“No, I believe you. I just wonder why.”

Anna frowned, hurt. “I pleased him. He’s happy with me.”

Travis clenched his jaw but didn’t say anything else.

Justin arrived a few minutes later and greeted Travis with a handshake. He nodded to Anna. “Hey, you look happy. Come to terms with dancing with me?”

“I was never upset at dancing with you.”

“Did ya win the lottery?”

“Lottery? What’s that?”

Justin glanced at Travis, who shrugged. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Not likely,” Travis said. “I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t know what it was.”

“What is it?” she asked.

Travis shook his head. “Nothing important.”

Justin studied her for a long moment, then shook his head. “So, why’re you so happy?” He laughed. “You got a new boyfriend. That must be it.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” she muttered, and turned away to stretch.

Travis sighed. “We’ll see how long that lasts.”

Justin looked confused.

“Her lover.” Travis rolled his eyes. “Asshole.”

Anna spun back around to stare at Travis, her heart pounding in her chest in fear for him. “Please don’t say such things.” She shook her head, hating the tears that filled her eyes. “Please. You’re the only one I have left. You and Jenna.”

Travis frowned and gave a sharp nod and started to stretch, muttering under his breath.

The room was dark, but she knew exactly where she was. She knew his scent, even after all these years. The door stood ajar and a sliver of light crept into the room, allowing her to discern a vague shape on the bed.

She smiled at his sleeping form. She wanted nothing more than to run her fingers through his hair. But...

Hadn’t she had a dream where they could touch? She carefully sat down on his bed and reached out to touch him, but his hand snaked out and grabbed her wrist.

“Oh!” His grip was firm and warm.

His eyes snapped open and he looked just as surprised as she felt. “Anna?” He sat up, not letting go of her wrist.

She stared at his hand and then looked into his face. He was also staring at his hand, and then he slowly brought her hand to his cheek.

“Alex...” Her palm grazed his beard. It was scratchy, but she didn’t care. She didn’t care that the dreams weren’t real anymore. His phantom touch was better than anything in real life.

He released her wrist and tangled his hand in her hair, as he had last time, and pressed his lips to hers. They were the same lips she had kissed so many times, only now they were surrounded by tickling hairs. If the kiss hadn’t been so desperate, she would have giggled at the sensation. As it was, all she could think of was his lips against hers, his hand in her hair, her hand on his face.

“I love you, Anna.” She could hear the desperation in his voice.

“I love you, Alex,” Anna whispered with the same level of desperation.

They gazed into each other’s eyes, their foreheads resting against each other. He looked like he wanted to say something, but hesitated.

“What is it?”

“I will be free soon. I will come for you.”

Anna leaned away. “Why do you say such things?” Tears filled her eyes. “You’ll never return, Alex, and I’m okay with that now... I think.” She didn’t feel so okay with that at the moment, though. She shook her head. “I miss you,” she added in a whisper.

He grimaced and closed his eyes for a moment. “You’re right, Schatzi . I shouldn’t say such things. I’m sorry.”

A pain seared her head, and she grabbed it and bent over.

“You need to go, Anna. Dream of me again.”

She looked up and was filled with all his love. “I love you,” she whispered as the room faded.

Anna opened her eyes and rolled onto her back. Rehearsals had finished early, but she was still tired. She’d fallen asleep waiting for Kaveh to arrive.

She stared at the ceiling and thought about Alex. It was true she was more at peace with his death, but she still missed him terribly. Would the ache ever go away? Part of her wanted it to. Another part of her was afraid of not feeling the loss anymore. She didn’t want to lose him totally. Dreaming of him didn’t bother her like it used to. It was like returning to a favorite book, only better.

She allowed herself the luxury of losing herself in thoughts of her beloved Alex for a few minutes. Her memories of him. She twisted her wedding band around her finger. She didn’t know why Devin allowed her to wear it, but she was thankful he hadn’t asked her to remove it. Maybe it really was “better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” Maybe.