Chapter 16

Dress rehearsals ran all week. The entire company had morning class together on stage, which made it difficult to avoid her former friends. They didn’t seem to understand she wanted nothing to do with them, so she just turned away and ignored them when they tried to talk to her.

When she walked on stage Friday morning, there was more buzz than normal. The girls were whispering excitedly to one another. Anna figured it was just opening night jitters until she heard them gossiping about a new dancer.

“Omigosh, did you see his ass?”

“Is he gay?”

“He’s Russian. He doesn’t have to be gay to be good.”

“And his eyes!”

Anna grimaced and walked to the corner of the stage, where she got ready for class. She sighed in relief when Isaak clapped his hands for their attention.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to our newest dancer, Peter Ivanov. He will be hanging around for the performances over the next two weeks so he can get to know you all and how our company works. He will, of course, be performing in The Nutcracker with us.” Isaak listed out the impressive rolls he’d danced and mentioned he’d most recently been a member of the Mariinsky Ballet in St. Petersburg, Russia.

Anna frowned as she tied her pointe shoes. Why would a guy who’d danced with the Mariinsky come to San Francisco? The Mariinsky was one of the most prestigious dance companies in the world. She glanced up as she finished tying her shoe and gasped. Oh God, this has to be some sort of trick!

Standing not twenty feet away from her was Peter, grandson of the Russian Elder, Vitaly, who had called Alex out on the mission that had killed him.

His warm brown eyes lifted to meet hers and he smiled. He’d grown a goatee since she saw him last and looked older, but it was definitely him. Devin hadn’t told her he was a dancer. Not that he’d had a chance.

Anna clenched her jaw and trembled with fury. But, no. She had to behave herself. He was a future Elder, and she needed to be polite and accommodating. Maybe he wouldn’t recognize her. She quickly stood and turned to warm up at the barre. Thankfully, he took a place at the barre next to Aaron and Stephanie, and she didn’t have to think about him anymore.

She was heading off the stage after class when she felt a hand on her elbow. She turned and found herself looking directly into Peter’s deep-set brown eyes.

“You are Anna, right?” His accent wasn’t as thick as she would have expected. His voice was deep and had he been anyone else and she been living a different life, it would have made her knees turn to jelly. “I do not know if you remember me?—?”

“I remember you.” She lifted her chin. “Why are you here?”

“I needed a break from my family and have always heard wonderful things about the San Francisco Ballet Company. You were the first to bring Nutcracker to America, right?”

“You left the Mariinsky to dance here?” She arched her brow in disbelief.

Peter flashed a megawatt smile and shrugged. “I had an opportunity to come and thought it would be fun. I also heard there were very pretty ballerinas here.” He looked her up and down. “They were not lying.”

“Yeah, well, I’m sure you’ll have your pick.” She pursed her lips. “They seem quite entranced by you. Excuse me.” She spun around and walked away. He wasn’t technically an Elder-Son yet... right?

While she danced, she felt Peter’s gaze on her. Why was he watching her? There were dozens of other girls that would be thrilled to have his attention. Had she not made it clear she wasn’t interested?

When the run-through was over, she saw him walking toward her and escaped into the corps dressing rooms before he caught up. She changed clothes and escaped before he could find her, arriving at home in record time.

After a nap and a late lunch, Anna walked back to the theater carrying the horrid red dress and everything else she needed to get ready for the after-party. Her arms were aching by the time she reached the back of the building.

She paused to catch her breath before she opened the door.

“Can I help you carry your things?” a deep voice behind her asked.

She whirled around to see Peter behind her. Some of the other corps dancers were walking up to the door and they looked at the two of them curiously.

“No.” She yanked open the door and hurried away.

To Anna’s relief, she didn’t see Peter the rest of the afternoon or evening. She stayed in the dressing room as much as possible and kept to herself. She sat in the corner behind the rack of costumes and tried to read, but the other dancers giggled and gossiped very loudly and couldn’t seem to find anything to talk about except Peter.

Suddenly, there was a loud burst of laughter. “Yeah, maybe that’s why he thinks he likes her. She reminds him of his icy home.”

Anna had a feeling they were talking about her, and she didn’t care. At least, that’s what she told herself. She wouldn’t admit that she was lonely and missed her friends.

The show went very well. Standing ovations and all. Aaron was spectacular, as always. She didn’t realize how much she’d missed his dancing. Without thinking about it, she went up to him after the curtain fell and hugged him.

He buried his face in her neck. “Anna...”

She jerked away, realizing what she’d done, then shook her head and sprinted back to the dressing room, taking shelter in the nest she’d built herself in the corner. How could she have been so stupid? She needed to keep herself away from people. For their sake, but also her own. My purpose in life is to please Devin .

Anna sighed and started getting ready for the opening-night party. She was zipping up her dress when a few of the other dancers walked into the room. Anna frowned at herself in the mirror, hating how she looked.

Cindy, a corps dancer, smiled as she walked by. “Damn, you clean up good.”

Anna gave a tight smile and made her way out to the lobby, where the party was in full swing.

She moved through the crowd, self-consciousness of the color of her dress—the color of the Red Girls. Many of the men she passed raised their eyebrows and let their gazes travel over her body, wicked smiles on their faces. She knew them. She’d met them and spent time with them, with Devin’s blessing. Eventually, she spotted Devin near a table laden with food and made her way over to him.

“Anna.” He kissed her cheek. “You danced well tonight.” He handed her a glass of white wine.

“Thank you, Ma—Devin.”

He pulled her close. “You look delicious in red. I’ve noticed many of the men admiring you.”

Anna forced a smile. She hated to imagine what they were thinking.

Jack walked up to them a few minutes later. “Look how pretty my little Anna is.” He grinned. “I think we should have put her in red sooner.”

Anna looked away and swallowed hard.

As the evening progressed, Devin sent her off with several men to find a dark corner where they could push her up against the wall and fuck her ruthlessly. One even went into her ass and she had to dig her fingernails into her palms to keep from crying out. When he finished, she returned to Devin, trying not to limp, and told him that the man had been satisfied.

He smiled, looking pleased. “Good girl.”

Some of the corps dancers had seen her walking away with the men Devin had given her to. A couple of them stood nearby, watching her with curious looks on their faces while she stood next to Devin. She flushed and stared at the floor as Devin put his hand on her hip and kissed the side of her head.

Anna hated how much she cared about the opinions of the other dancers. She was Devin’s slave and he treated as such, but he also expected her to be a respectable member of society. How was she supposed to do both? It had been so much easier when she’d been married to Alex.

“Ah, there you are Peter.”

Anna’s head snapped up and she bit back a gasp as the tall, handsome young Russian approached.

Devin motioned toward Peter. “Anna, you remember Peter, right?”

“Yes, Devin, I remember.” She desperately wanted to run away, but knew there would be terrible consequences if she did.

“We became reacquainted this morning.” Peter smiled. “Anna has been playing hard to get.”

Anna looked at Devin, then at Peter, then back at Devin. “You knew he was here?”

“I invited him to come.” Devin shrugged. “I’ve come to realize that you are much more... pleasant to be around if you are in some sort of relationship. Therefore...” He motioned to Peter. “I am providing you with a relationship. Peter knows me, knows what I expect from you, and has agreed to ‘date’ you and provide you with companionship that I approve of.”

“Devin, you can’t?—?”

Devin narrowed his eyes and Anna cowered. “I am perfectly serious. You will give the appearance that you like each other and all that is involved when two young people meet. He will become your boyfriend and soon you will move in with him. He won’t interfere with any of my needs for you, but he will give you stability and, as I said, companionship.”

Anna pressed her lips together and clenched her fists. “I don’t want a boyfriend. Especially not... him .”

Devin’s brow arched. “It’s not for you to choose who you will be with, Anna,” he snapped. “You are mine to do with as I please. And you are lonely, even though you won’t admit it. You need someone to be with.” He nodded toward Peter. “I have provided you with someone I trust.”

Anna’s shoulders slumped and she looked at the floor. Arguing would just anger him. “Yes, Devin.”

“Now, why don’t you two run along and let your friends think someone has broken through your icy exterior?” He took hold of her arm and pinched it. “You will treat him with respect.”

Anna winced and nodded, rubbing her arm when he released it.

Peter smiled and held out his hand. She stared at it, briefly wondering if it would be worth another punishment session to avoid spending time with him. If she ran away, yes, there would be another very, very painful session with his nerve juice, and she would still end up with Peter, because that’s what Devin wanted. She sighed and took Peter’s hand.

He led her to a bench near the wall and they sat and talked. Well, he talked. She listened and nodded politely, giving appropriate smiles when needed. She guessed him to be about twenty-five. His thick dark-brown hair hung over his forehead and he had beautiful dark-brown eyes. He was tall, well-built, and wore his tailored suit very well. She was as respectful as she could manage, finding that silence and smiles went a long way with him. He explained how he had arrived yesterday from St. Petersburg after receiving a call Monday morning from Devin.

“You left the Mariinsky just because Devin asked you to?” He hadn’t come to San Francisco to dance. He’d come to help Devin with her.

“I did. My grandfather respects Devin immensely, and your ballet company is very good. Plus, an opportunity to date the famous Mistress Anna...” He wagged his eyebrows and grinned. “I couldn’t resist.” He took her hand and kissed the back of it.

A chill ran through her body. She despised his grandfather even more now that she knew he respected Devin.

“You can join me when I look for an apartment if you’d like, since you’ll be living there soon.”

“Don’t you want to really date someone? I mean, don’t you need to get married soon?”

“Ah, I don’t need to get married until my uncle becomes Starshiy .”

“Your uncle?”

“ Da , Vlad is my dyadya . My uncle. He had five daughters. My father is next oldest and I am his oldest son. Therefore, I am next in line for leadership after Uncle Vlad.”

“Oh.”

“Besides, I have a girlfriend at home. When it is time, I will marry her.”

“She doesn’t mind you coming over here and... doing what Devin asked you to do?”

He shrugged. “She doesn’t really have a choice. She will make a good wife. We’ve been friends since childhood. She knows there are things I must do for The Brotherhood. This is certainly one of the more pleasant ones, I must say.” He gave her that megawatt smile again.

Anna looked away. “Well, I guess that it’s good that neither of us are looking to have a real relationship.”

As the party was winding down, Peter offered to take her home.

“You have a car, but not an apartment yet?”

“It’s a rental. I’ll get my own soon.”

Anna nodded, resolving herself to the inevitable. “I suppose I should let you take me home?”

Peter smiled. “I would like to, if that is alright with you.”

She shrugged. “Okay.”

They went through the backstage so she could get her things and then to the garage to his car.

“A Mustang?”

“I’ve always wanted one and I couldn’t resist. They’re so... American. Though I don’t know if I would buy one. I think I like some other cars better.” He opened her door to let her in and then closed it before walking around to his side and settling into the driver’s seat.

Anna gave him her address and he typed it into his GPS system. “You live very close.”

Anna nodded. “Devin didn’t want to pay for a car for me.”

“Ah.”

He made his way out of the parking garage. “So, what do you do for fun around here?”

Anna sighed. “Devin told you I was doped up for two years, didn’t he?”

“Well, yes. So, what did you do before you got ‘doped up’?”

Anna clenched her fists. “I spent time with my husband.”

“Ah. Yes. Of course.” He glanced at her. “What did you do with him?”

“Nothing that I want to do with you.” Maybe being disciplined would be better than having to spend time with him.

Peter didn’t respond, but tapped his thumbs on the steering wheel as he drove through the narrow streets.

Anna sighed and rested her head on her fist as she stared out the window. She knew better than to ask Devin to change his mind. She was stuck with Peter.

He pulled up in front of her building a few minutes later. Anna pursed her lips. She had to invite him up. She hoped he’d say no. “Do you want to come up?”

Peter grinned. “Do you want me to come up?”

No, I don’t want you anywhere near me. “If you’d like.”

Peter chuckled. “You’re a good liar. No. I’ll let you sleep tonight. Nothing’s worse than being tired during performances. Maybe Sunday night.”

“Okay.” She opened the car door.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” She turned and walked inside her building without looking back.

He wasn’t looking out the window this time. He was sitting in the chair, reading. Oh, how often she’d seen him reading near a window when he was alive. No wonder she dreamed about it.

She shifted on her feet and he looked up.

“Anna.”

He said it with such love that it brought tears to her eyes. He walked over and kneeled in front of her. His eyes were so blue. So kind and full of love. His hair was still long and he still had his beard.

“I don’t want to dream about you.”

“Oh, Schatzi , I know.” He gave a gentle smile. “But it’s not a dream. I’m real.”

She shook her head. “You’re dead.” She reached for his ring around her neck, but it wasn’t there. Where was it? What happened to it? “I lost your ring.”

His eyes filled with tears. “We’ll get a new one when we’re together again.”

“Devin took my other rings. All I have is this.” She held up her right hand where her German wedding ring was.

He smiled and held up his right hand, showing her his ring. “I still have mine, too. You’re still my wife, Anna. Nothing will ever change that.”

Tears started running down her cheeks. “The baby . . . it wasn’t Ben’s. Devin . . . he . . .”

“I know, Schatzi . I know. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you.” Tears fell from his eyes and caught in his beard. He reached out to her but stopped short of touching her. “I miss you.”

“I miss you, too.” Hesitantly, she reached her hand out to touch his cheek, but when she touched him, the room faded into darkness and she found herself reaching out into the dark, empty air of her apartment.

She’d been so upset about Peter she’d forgotten to turn the TV on and Alex had invaded her dreams again. She stared up at the ceiling. The bent mini blinds made weird line patterns on her ceiling.

Alex was dead. Her mind needed to accept that. But the dreams gave her hope and she hated it. She didn’t want to hope that maybe it had all been a misunderstanding, and that Alex was still alive somewhere. That he stared out the window toward San Francisco and thought about her. That he trimmed his beard in case she showed up in his room in her dreams.

No! It was just a dream. Alex is dead and that’s all there is to it.

She pushed the button on the remote to turn on the TV, then flipped onto her side and fell back to sleep as tears streamed down her cheeks.