Chapter 140

Wednesday, Anna was allowed to resume her “normal” life, what little life it was. Hugo didn’t look at her when she walked into the studio. He’d taken a place on the other side of the studio again, like when they’d first broken up. She blinked back tears as she trudged to her customary place and got ready for class.

Her body felt heavy as she tried to dance that morning. It worked, but it took more energy than it normally did. She spent the pauses between songs staring at the floor and wishing she were a mindless slave again.

“Okay, girl,” Stefanie said at lunch, waving her fork in the air. “We need to go out this Saturday. You’ve been cooped up for far too long.”

Anna chewed her lip. “I don’t know if I’m up for going out.” Would Wilhelm disapprove of her going out? She hated not knowing what she was supposed to do. It would be so much easier if Wilhelm were here. Then he could tell her exactly what he wanted from her. Or maybe she should just go live in Tom’s Manor. She’d know what to do there.

“I will drag your ass out if you don’t come voluntarily. Being alone isn’t good, Katrina. You need to get out and have some fun. You look so depressed.”

Anna wished she could tell her friend more about her life, but didn’t know if she was allowed. Tom had given her permission to tell Hugo. Was she allowed to tell her new best friend? How was she supposed to have a friend if she couldn’t tell her anything about her own life?

She hadn’t even told Stef about what happened with Hugo. As wonderful as making love to him had been, the knowledge that it wouldn’t ever happen again just turned it into a painful memory. She’d finally fallen in love with Hugo and couldn’t do anything about it.

Simon hadn’t reached out to her either. It was probably for the best, though. She wouldn’t be good company. Wilhelm had not only forbidden her from being with Hugo, he’d also forbidden her from becoming attached to anyone else. She had a bad habit of falling for the kind men she slept with. Spending time with Mr. J wasn’t a good idea. Damn Wilhelm!

“Euroman wasn’t at the club last week,” Stef said. “Wonder if he found another place to go.”

“He wasn’t?” Anna tilted her head. “Was he the week before?”

“Oh, yeah.” She rolled her eyes. “The women were showing off for him. A few of them flashed their breasts.”

Anna winced at the pain in her heart. No wonder Simon hadn’t called.

“So, you wanna see if he’s there Saturday?” Stef asked.

“Aren’t there other clubs to go to?” She didn’t want to see other women vying for his attention. But she did agree with Stef that she needed to get out.

In the end, Anna and Stef and some of the other dancers ended up at the same club as always on Saturday night. Stef had invited Hugo, but he said he was busy. Anna wondered if he was really busy or just avoiding being around her. If he was avoiding her, she couldn’t blame him. This separation was far more painful than the first time.

Simon had called Wednesday evening to make arrangements for Saturday, but Anna told him she was busy. When he asked about the following week, she told him she didn’t know. He didn’t seem happy about her answer, but she didn’t know what else to say. She was afraid to do anything, for fear of upsetting Wilhem.

Anna dressed carefully for her evening out, but she wasn’t exactly sure why. The denim miniskirt and white baby-tee were sexy. Was she trying to make Mr. J jealous? Or just trying to make sure she had a good time at the club? She could have sex as long as she didn’t get attached, right? Was that even possible?

She sat down on her bed and hung her head. The uncertainty was driving her crazy. At least with Devin, she knew what to expect.

On the other hand, Wilhelm hadn’t forbidden her from going out and having fun. Maybe tonight was okay? She supposed if it weren’t, she’d find out soon enough. In a very painful way.

Later that night, Anna walked into the club with her friends and her gaze went directly to the red, semi-sheer curtain hanging in the archway, shielding Mr. J from prying eyes. Was he here? Did he know she was here?

She lifted her chin, determination filling her. What did it matter if he noticed her presence or not? She could have any man here, if she wanted, and she wanted to have a good time. The music was loud and the dance floor crowded. Numerous women had gathered in front of the red curtain.

Stef dragged her out to the dance floor, but she stayed as far away from the curtain as she could. She drank and laughed and flirted, attracting attention from many men and feeling almost high on the endorphins.

A few hours later, though, Aaron found her resting at their table. While the flirting had been fun for a while, it wasn’t doing anything for her tonight. She was beginning to wish she’d stayed home.

“Come dance with me,” he shouted over the music, pulling her back to the dance floor. “Why aren’t you doing the Mr. J thing?”

“I think he has other interests besides me.” She glanced over at the crowd of women. Two blondes were kissing and groping each other right in front of his spot. Surely he was surely enjoying the show.

“He asked you out.”

“After not seeing me for three weeks.”

“You were busy too.”

“He went out when I stayed home for Alex’s birthday and apparently had quite a show.”

“He still asked you out.”

Anna frowned. “No, Simon asked me out. What if he’s pushing Mr. J into doing it?”

Aaron arched his brows. “Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?”

She was about to retort with a smart comment when she realized he was right. “I was really stupid, saying no tonight, wasn’t I?”

“You said it.”

Anna sighed. “I probably blew it.” She glanced over to the curtain, wishing she could see inside. Mr. J had been nothing but kind to her, and she was taking her anger with Wilhelm and Kurt out on him. “I’m an idiot.” In hopes that he was somehow watching her, she gave him an apologetic look and mouthed “I’m sorry,” then turned back to Aaron. “I don’t think I’m in the mood to be here.”

“Kat.” Aaron nodded toward the curtained room. “I think he’s been watching you.”

Anna turned and saw Simon standing next to the room in his customary stance. He tilted his head toward the back of the club where they’d talked outside several times. She nodded. “I think Simon wants to talk.”

Aaron pushed her away. “Then go. At least you’ll get laid tonight.”

She shook her head and walked away.

Simon was waiting for her on the terrace. “My employer was quite disappointed that you turned him down for tonight.”

Anna glanced up at him and saw a glint of amusement in his eye. She leaned against the railing in front of her, hands clasped tightly on the metal bar. “I’ve had a bad week and... I thought he had lost interest...”

“Quite the contrary. He regrets that he was unable to see you last week. He had business to attend to.” The glint of amusement in his eyes sparked again as he stared at the brick building across the alley.

“My friend said the women were making quite the impression on him the week before.”

Simon chuckled. “Yes, well, his companions enjoyed the show. My employer was not impressed.”

“He has friends with him?”

“Yes.”

Something about that made her smile. He wasn’t sitting behind the curtain all alone. “Why doesn’t he come out in public? Why all the secrecy?” She turned to Simon. “Do his friends go out?” She tilted her head. “Are they men or women?”

“You are a very curious woman, Miss Katrina.” He looked at her. “Does it matter if he is with other women?”

Anna felt her cheeks warm and she looked away. “I don’t know. I guess not.”

“You are engaged to another man.”

“Yeah.” She turned back to the railing and looked at the engagement ring on her finger. “Is he married?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.” An unexpected pang twisted her heart. Did it really matter if he was married? No. Their trysts would end soon enough. “Is she a bitch?”

Simon laughed. “Again, does it matter?”

Anna shrugged. “Was just wondering. I’ve learned that many men don’t like their wives and seek companionship elsewhere to keep up appearances.”

“I can only say that it is complicated.”

“Will I ever get to see him?”

“I expect so.”

Anna sighed. “Should I stop asking questions?”

“I find them amusing, but I will not reveal more than I am permitted.”

They didn’t speak for a few minutes. The music from inside seemed to rattle the building.

“Are you willing to meet with him tonight?”

“He wants to?”

The amusement appeared in his eyes again. “He was quite pleased when you showed up and hoped you might have changed your mind.” He smiled. “It’s the only reason he came out tonight.”

“Really?”

“There are many women in New York, Miss Katrina, but you are the only one who has his attention.”

Anna thought back to the day after her first encounter with Mr. J. “Did... did he see me when I was walking to the library the day after we... met?”

Simon nodded with a smile. “You turned and waved to him.”

Anna smiled. “I was hoping I wasn’t waving to a statue.” She froze. “Wait, did he see me the week before, too?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Because the clothes that were in the room... it was the same outfit I wore that day.” Simon didn’t answer right away and Anna wondered if she’d asked something wrong. “Was that an impertinent question?”

“You’re a smart girl, Katrina. Yes, he saw you. It’s how he knew you liked the library.” He turned and cocked his head. “I think that’s enough questions for the night, aside from: Will you meet with him tonight?”

Anna smiled, her heart racing. “Yes. I’d like that.”