Chapter 136

That evening, Anna fidgeted as she waited for Hugo to arrive. She’d been restless all day. Tom had texted her, telling her that Devin had decided to go home early, and that she could return to rehearsals tomorrow.

She was thankful for that. Being stuck in the apartment for so long was beginning to drive her crazy.

Hugo arrived ten minutes later, and she told him she was allowed to return to rehearsals earlier than expected. “We don’t have to practice if you don’t want to.”

“What else did you have in mind?” He flashed that boyish, yet seductive, grin.

Anna looks away. “Oh, I meant... I just thought?—?”

He was in front of her in a flash, his lips pressed to hers in a hungry kiss. She stood in shock for a second and then wrapped her arms around his neck. His tongue delved into her mouth, stroking hers, making her moan softly.

He held her tightly, chest pressed against chest. Her mind swirled with sensations and emotions. She didn’t want to wonder whether or not she should be kissing Hugo like this. It feels so good. Desire that had been building for months unleashed. The affair with Mr. J would be over soon, and then she would only have Kurt. Why shouldn’t she have Hugo in the meantime? They both knew it couldn’t last, but maybe it was possible to just enjoy one another while they could. Find comfort in one another’s arms.

But then what? For Hugo? He could be out trying to find someone he could really be with, instead of holding onto something that would never be.

She pulled away and looked up at him, shaking her head. “Hugo, we can’t.”

“Can’t what?” He nuzzled her neck. “I want you, Katrina. So badly.”

“I want you too, Hugo, but—?” She pulled away. “I can’t do this to you. You should be out finding someone special. Someone you can settle down with. Not wasting time with me.”

“Time with you is never wasted, Kittycat.”

“Please...” She took a step back and tears welled up in her eyes. “I won’t be able to keep myself from falling for you again if we... make love. And then I’ll have to leave. You know that. I won’t be here forever.”

“I’m a big boy. I can take care of myself. Going into this, I would know it was only short term. But it would be a wonderful short term.”

“But what if you met the love of your life in the middle of it and didn’t pursue her because of me?” She took his hand. “You are a wonderful man, Hugo. One of the best I’ve ever known, and I’ve known many men.” She smiled. “But my life is already laid out for me, and I don’t want to start this if I have to leave you soon.”

“Do you know when you’re leaving?”

Anna shook her head. “Things will be settled after my next birthday. Kurt will probably take me home then.”

He sat heavily on the couch. “We could just be ‘friends with benefits.’”

“I couldn’t do that with you. I care about you too much. I’d end up falling in love with you, and my heart would break even more when I had to leave.”

He sighed and rubbed the top of his head. “Yeah. I know. You’d take a piece of my heart with you back to Germany.”

“I’m so sorry.” She sat next to him and took his hand. “But I love dancing with you.”

He smiled warmly. “I love dancing with you, too. Nothing will change that.”

“Good.”

Hugo left a little while later. Since she would be at the studio in the morning, they didn’t really need to practice tonight. She curled up in bed with one of Mr. J’s books to get her mind off everything that had happened.

When Anna went to the studio the next day, the other dancers were very kind to her. Aaron had told her what they had learned about her, and their kindness melted away the awkwardness she felt walking into the room.

Thursday after lunch, they were to practice in the theater. Stef ran up to her as she walked into the wings. “Omigod, did you hear?”

“Hear what?”

“Do you know why we’re in here this afternoon?”

Anna shrugged. “Staging?”

Stef shook her head excitedly. “ He’s here. He wanted to watch us.”

“He? He who?”

Stef rolled her eyes. “You are so dense sometimes. Euroman!”

Anna’s heart dropped to her stomach. Mr. J is here? “Where?” She grimaced at the tremor in her voice.

“First Ring. I already looked. It’s pitch black out there. Can’t see anything. But isn’t it exciting?”

Anna shrugged, masking her churning stomach. “I guess.”

Stef rolled her eyes again. “Well, the rest of us are excited. We’re going back to the club on Saturday. Wanna come?”

Anna shook her head. “I’m staying home that night. Personal reasons.”

“Because of Hugo?”

“What? No. It’s—?” She sighed. “Saturday would have been Alex’s birthday. I just don’t feel right going out.”

Stef opened her mouth to say something but seemed to change her mind. She nodded. “Next week?”

“Maybe.”

The female dancers preened backstage before walking out. If Anna hadn’t been so nervous, she might have laughed. But Mr. J would be watching her dance for the first time, and her stomach kept twisting around itself, making her feel like she was going to throw up.

She chided herself for being nervous. Why did she care what he thought? He was a lover, that’s all. A purely physical relationship. Maybe he was having one last fling before he got married, too. She vehemently denied she had any feelings for the man she’d never seen.

Anna successfully forgot about the stranger watching rehearsal... for a few minutes... every so often. With amusement, Vincent declared it one of their best rehearsals.

Saturday evening finally arrived and she was relieved to be able to stop hearing about Euroman, but had to admit it was pretty lonely in the apartment by herself. Aaron had gone out with the other dancers and she was alone, as she’d wanted to be. She went to her room, pulled out her memories box from beneath her bed, and took out Alex’s ring.

“Oh, Alex. I thought I had given you up, but you still hold on to my heart, even after all these years. I don’t think I’ll ever really get over you. Especially when I have to go back to your home and live there. Sleep in your room. Eat at your family’s table. Sit in the library we sat in together. You will haunt me forever.”