Chapter 13

Anna lay on her bed in the Manor in agony. Ian had brought her back to her room just as the sun rose and she’d slept for a few hours, but everything still hurt. Even her toes hurt. Devin had injected her with his self-proclaimed “nerve juice,” intensifying the pain of everything he had done by a hundredfold. He’d started off gently, just touching her. Even normal sex had been agony, especially anal with Ian. As time went on, he employed more brutal methods, such as knives, whips, and electricity. When the first dose of nerve juice had worn off, he’d given her a second one and began again.

The door opened and Devin walked in. He stood above her for a moment, looking down on her with his hands on his hips, then walked across the room and sat in the chair by the window. Anna stared at the ceiling. Heat flooded her body, and she wanted to jump up and hit him with a chair. But she closed her eyes and the heat drained away. It wouldn’t do any good to attack him. He’d subdued Wilhelm with only his words and sent him away forever. The torture had lasted all night.

He won. He always won. And fighting just made the pain worse and last longer.

The sound of Devin clearing his throat caused Anna to stir, and she slowly sat up with a loud, mewling cry. She couldn’t speak; she’d lost her voice from screaming in the dungeon and it hadn’t yet returned.

He pointed to the floor in front of him. She rolled out of bed and stumbled across the floor to collapse on her knees in front of him.

“This is no longer a safe place, Anna. This is merely your room. You will call me Master at all times when you are in the Manor. When I enter the room, you will get on your knees like all the other girls. Do you understand?”

She nodded.

“Speak, slave.”

She closed her eyes and winced as she forced air over her vocal cords. “Yes, Master.” It was barely a whisper, but he seemed satisfied.

“If I have to discipline you again, there will be three doses of the nerve juice.”

“Yes, Master.” She shuddered at the thought.

“We will try your ‘new life’ once again. You will begin dancing again as soon as you are able. You will eat properly. You will dance well. You will take care of yourself. If you don’t, I will discipline you.”

“Why do you want me to dance?”

“Because if you don’t, you’re useless.”

Anna flinched. He was so harsh. He wasn’t even trying to be nice anymore. She supposed without the threat of Wilhelm confronting him, there was no need to pretend anymore.

He leaned forward and yanked her Elder-Mistress necklace off her neck. She gasped in pain as it tore into her neck. “I have half a mind to give you a ruby to wear. Act up again and I will.”

“Yes, Master.”

He produced a solid gold bracelet and put it on her wrist. “This is locked. You may not remove it.” It was thick and heavy and fitted to her wrist.

“Yes, Master.”

“Ian will take you to your new apartment when you’re ready to leave. I don’t want to pay the ridiculous rent I was paying for that other place. This one is much cheaper and closer to the studio, so I can get rid of your car as well. I will pay your rent. You have money in your bank account that you can use to pay for everything else. I removed your credit cards from your wallet. You only need money for food and dance clothes. If I decide I want to take you anywhere, I will have Ian take you shopping.”

“Yes, Master.”

“Ian will pick you up on Fridays to bring you here.” Devin grinned. “Zach told me he saw you on Friday. He’s looking forward to spending time with you again.”

Anna’s heart dropped into her stomach, but she kept her face impassive. “Yes, Master.”

He stood. “I believe that is all. Let Ian know when you’re ready to leave. Maggie will bring some clothes for you to wear home.” He stepped around Anna and walked out the door.

Anna slumped forward and buried her face in her hands. Why did she always give in to hope? It never lasted, and things always became so much worse after it was torn away from her.

No more. Never again. The bitter lessons she had learned taught her that hope was a deceptive fa?ade, capable of bringing nothing but heartbreak, or even more sinister consequences. From now on, she would be unwaveringly obedient to Devin. Her only goal would be to please him, disregarding any other desires or dreams that she had once held her heart.

Thursday evening, Anna walked to the ballet studio from her new apartment. It was a tiny studio, but she didn’t need more than that. It had a kitchen, a bathroom, and a closet. She had her TV to keep her dreams away, her mattress to sleep and have sex on, her coffee table and couch. If Wilhelm thought her previous place was hideous...

But she would never see him again. Devin made sure of that. Ian told her that they would never dare come back against Devin’s will. Devin would destroy them with a word.

“How did he get so powerful?” she had asked Ian as they drove to her new apartment.

Ian looked at her sadly. “The Spring Rituals. He takes your power and makes it his own.”

She was the cause of her own demise. She sighed. It didn’t matter now. The only thing that mattered was keeping her Master happy. And at that moment, that meant dutifully attending her dance class.

It was a fifteen-minute walk from her apartment to the studio. Not bad on a nice night. Thankfully, it was a nice night.

As she came around the corner, she saw someone standing near the studio door. She squinted. “Aaron?”

“Anna! I’ve been worried about you!” He pulled her close and hugged her hard. “I’ve been calling you and waiting out here for you every night this week.”

“I must have forgotten to turn my phone back on.” She’d turned it off after they’d left the restaurant and hadn’t thought about it since.

“I even went by your apartment today, but no one answered.”

“How do you know where my apartment is?” She’d just moved in yesterday. “I didn’t hear anyone knock and I was there all day.”

“I . . . someone told me . . .”

“Someone?”

Aaron gave her a strange look. “Yes. Someone.”

Anna drew her brows together. Who would have told him where she lived? No one knew besides Devin and Ian. “I didn’t hear you knock.”

“You’re in apartment 760, right? In SoMo?”

Anna shook her head. “I was, but I don’t live there anymore. Devin moved me closer to here.”

“You only lived there a few weeks.”

“He didn’t want to keep paying that amount of rent.” She shrugged. “I have a little studio on O’Farrell. It’s fine.”

“Fine?” Aaron looked outraged. “Anna, you’re a frickin’ Duchess. You shouldn’t be living in a shitty studio apartment. You should at least be in a decent apartment. I can help?—?”

“I’m fine,” Anna snapped. “And I’m not a duchess. Not anymore. Alex is dead. Wilhelm and his family are forbidden to come here. I’m alone. The only thing I need to do is keep Devin happy. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get to class.” She pushed him aside and walked into the building.

“You’re not alone, Anna,” Aaron called after her as she walked away, but he didn’t follow her.

Yeah, right.

She huffed as she walked into the studio and sat down on the floor to change shoes. It was better if she just kept to herself. My only purpose in life is to please Devin.

Within a few weeks, Anna had proven herself strong enough to start back on pointe. Isaak had her work with the summer students for a few weeks before placing her in the corps. She knew many of the girls and a few of the guys, but she kept to herself. Jenna had recently been promoted to soloist so she wasn’t in classes with her.

Anna managed to avoid her former friends for about a week before they finally found her. Aaron was the first, catching her coming out of the studio after class on the second Tuesday.

“Anna! I’m so glad you’re with the company again!” He hugged her.

She pushed him aside and hurried away.

A few of the corps dancers mumbled as she walked past. The other day, she’d heard a few of them talking in the bathroom about her, saying she was a cold, icy bitch. They thought because she’d been a principal before, Anna was too good for the corps. This, of course, was untrue, because she didn’t want to be dancing at all. Anywhere. It didn’t matter what part of the company she was in. She danced to the best of her abilities because if she didn’t, Devin would punish her. She didn’t care what they thought about her.

Or so she told herself.

“What a bitch,” one girl muttered.

Aaron said something, but Anna didn’t wait around to listen. She heard him behind her and she ducked into the bathroom. Ten minutes later, she poked her head out and sighed in relief when he was nowhere in sight.

When she returned to the studio for the morning rehearsals of Petrushka , a couple of the girls smiled at her and tried to strike up a conversation. Anna turned and walked away without a word.

Unfortunately, Aaron caught her at lunch and held her arm to make her go with him. Fine, I’ll just make him regret taking me . She refused to admit to herself that she was lonely.

Aaron took her to the deli down the street and tried to buy her lunch.

“I can buy my own lunch!” Now that she was in the company again, she would be getting a regular paycheck. Not a very large one, but enough to keep herself fed. That’s all she needed to do. Eat, dance, and keep Devin happy. Anything else was irrelevant or would get in the way of her purpose. My purpose in life...

“Anna, let me?—?”

Anna glared at him and crossed her arms until he walked away. She ordered her lunch and then joined him at a table near the window. “What do you want?”

“I’m glad you’re eating.”

“I have to eat. I have to take care of myself and dance well. Other than that, I don’t have to do anything.”

Aaron raised his eyebrows. “Is that what Devin told you?”

“Pleasing him is my purpose in life. Anything else just gets in the way. Especially people.”

Sadness filled his eyes. “I miss the old Anna.”

She shrugged and took a sip of her ice tea. “The old Anna was stupid and na?ve and... dumb.” The old Anna didn’t know any better than to make friends and fall in love.

The old Anna had fallen in love with a monster.

As time passed, her hatred for Alex had grown. She hated him for lying to her. For making her believe that life could be worth living. If he hadn’t interfered with that ritual, none of this would have happened. She would have been blissfully ignorant of so many things in life.

“I don’t think she was stupid. God, Anna, I’d never seen a happier woman than when you and Alex were together. You glowed.”

“I was pregnant. Pregnant women do that. And... well, Alex wasn’t who he said he was.”

Aaron frowned, his brows drawing together. “I thought you knew about what he did.”

“You knew? How could you still be friends with him?”

“I found out after he died, but I don’t think any less of him. It sure explains all his mystery trips.”

“Yeah, it’s not exactly something you advertise,” she muttered.

“I imagine it would be dangerous if it was general knowledge.”

Anna looked up at him, confused. “Why would it be dangerous?” Brothers—Elder-Sons—could do whatever they wanted without worrying about repercussions.

Aaron shook his head. “Well, I don’t know... like you said, it’s not something you want to advertise. But, I mean, considering all that The Brotherhood does, I don’t see why it’s a big deal. Aside from the whole killing thing, it’s actually kinda cool.”

“He killed them?” The little girls hadn’t looked like they had died, but maybe they had later.

“That was his job, Anna. Or part of it, anyway. He wouldn’t be a very good Assassin if he didn’t.”

His job? Assassin? “What are you talking about?”

“You’re upset because of his—?” He lowered his voice. “The reason for his black diamonds, right?”

Anna shook her head. “No. I knew about that before he asked me to marry him. I’m upset because I didn’t know he had a penchant for hurting little girls. He lied and pretended that he?—?”

“Anna, what on earth gave you that idea about him?” Aaron’s eyes were wide. “He would never do anything like that. Ever.”

“Yes, he would.” Angry tears filled her eyes. “I saw it.”

“You saw him hurting someone?”

She nodded and stabbed at her salad.

“Anna, he’s been gone for over two years?—?”

“I saw a video. Devin showed me.”

“A video?” Aaron stared at her. “Oh, God. Anna... was it—were there three girls? And Alex was...”

Anna nodded. “You know about it?”

“Anna, that video... it’s not real. Or, at least—God, Devin showed that to you?”

“It is real. He laughed when they screamed.”

Aaron shook his head. “No. Anna, no. It’s not. Yes, he told me.” He sighed. “Do you remember when we were dating? And that afternoon when that pain started. That excruciating pain?”

“How could I forget?” Especially now that she’d experienced the real thing?

“Hon, Devin drugged him and made him do those horrible things. Then Devin tortured him and that’s when you started hurting. Anna, he was drugged. We talked after you went to sleep and he told me.”

Anna shook her head. “No, even drugged Alex wouldn’t...” But Alex had done bad things another time when he was drugged. When he raped her after a trip. That’s when he told her he was going back to Frankfurt. She stared out the window. Was it possible...

“Alex was the man you loved, Anna. He was exactly the man we all knew him to be.”

The idea that Alex was exactly who she’d thought he was... Her lungs tightened and she swallowed hard, sucking in a long, hot breath. Knowing that the video wasn’t real didn’t ease the pain. If anything, it made it worse. If Alex really was the man she thought he was, then the loss was even greater. Anna angrily brushed her tears away and stared hard out the window. “It doesn’t matter now, does it? He’s dead.”

“He didn’t get killed on purpose.”

She swallowed over the lump in her throat and stared at the passing cars, trying desperately to reignite the flames of anger inside her heart. Anger kept the sadness away. “He promised me he would come home.” Her voice cracked on the last word. “That he would come back to me.” She shook her head.

“You need to give yourself time to grieve. You never had the chance to do so. He loved you more than anything in the world.”

“And a lot of good that did. I wish I’d never met him. I would have been better off if he’d never saved me.”

“That’s not true, and you know it.”

Anna glared at Aaron, anger rushing through her body. “When you have lived my life, then you can tell me what’s true or not.” She stood, pushing back her chair so hard that it fell backward. “Don’t talk to me again.”

She spun on her heel and stormed out of the deli, hurrying back to the studio to hide in the bathroom and weep for the loss of her husband. For Wilhelm and Kurt. For everything good in her life that had been taken away.

There is no hope. There is only Devin.