Chapter 106

Hugo hurried to Anna as she walked into the studio the following morning. Despite the pain in her heart, she stayed calm, mostly by avoiding delving too deeply into her thoughts. The morning in the apartment had been subdued. Aaron had stayed home to pack, and she’d grappled with her grief at not being able to go with him to her best friend’s funeral.

“Is everything okay?” Hugo asked as she dropped her bag on the floor.

Anna shook her head, not looking up at him. “I just found out my best friend back in California was k—um, died.”

“Oh my God, Katrina. I’m so sorry.” He paused. “Why are you here? You should go home and... I don’t know... pack to go back to the funeral?”

Anna shook her head, still looking at the floor. “I can’t go.”

She felt Hugo staring at her and he slowly exhaled. “Does it have something to do with that relationship you don’t want to talk about?”

Anna nodded. She squeezed her eyes shut and grasped the barre tightly, trying to not lose control. Her mind was a mess of anger and deep sorrow, and she didn’t know if she wanted to scream or fall to the floor and sob. She stared at the wooden planks that made up the dance floor, not knowing whether or not she should stay. But dancing had soothed her grief before. It would likely do it again.

“C’mon.” Hugo put his arm around her and led her out of the studio, pausing to let Vincent know what had happened before leading Anna into his office. He sat her down on a brown leather couch along the side wall and put his arms around her.

She leaned her head against his chest, trying to contain her tears as he stroked her arm. “You could have called me last night,” he said softly, leaning his cheek against her head. “I would have come back over.”

It took a moment for her to be able to speak, and when she did, her voice cracked. “I didn’t want to bother you. You looked upset when Aaron said he needed to talk to me.”

“He had interrupted a really nice kiss. I was a little irritated.”

Anna choked out a soft laugh. “It was a nice kiss.”

“I feel bad now, though. Did he know her?”

Anna nodded. “She was like a sister to him.” She stared at her hands as the tears slipped down her cheeks. “Have you ever lost anyone?”

“My father died when I was fifteen. That’s when my mother and I moved here.”

“How did you . . . get over it?”

He chuckled. “I don’t know if I ever ‘got over it.’ I still miss him. I loved my father dearly. He was a good man.”

“How did he die?”

“Cancer. Mercifully, he went quickly, but it still was very hard, watching him suffer.”

“You got to say goodbye, though, right?”

“Yeah. My mother and I were there when he died.”

“I’ve never gotten to say goodbye to anyone,” Anna said softly.

“You say that as if you’ve lost a lot of people.”

She had lost quite a few people in her life. Her parents. Ben. Alex and his men. Hers and Wilhelm’s baby. And now Jenna. She winced at the pain that surged through her heart. “A few.”

“Are your parents alive?”

“No. They died when I was twelve.” Devin had killed them. She’d forgotten he’d admitted that.

“How did they die?”

“Car accident.” Though it hadn’t really been an accident ... She winced at the thought.

“I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine the grief you must have felt to lose both of them at once.”

“It was a long time ago. I don’t really remember it.” Devin and Jack had started touching her afterward, dulling the pain. Had she actually ever mourned for anyone? Mourned like a normal person? Probably not. She wasn’t exactly normal. She used sex to distract herself from the pain. Tears filled her eyes again as she looked up at Hugo. “How do you mourn?”

He stroked her hair and gave her a sad smile. “It’s different for everyone, Anna. How did you deal with your husband dying?”

She flushed. “I was high for two years.”

“Oh.” He gave her a gentle smile. “I wouldn’t recommend that.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Good.” He smiled. “I’d hate to see you on drugs. You wouldn’t be able to dance and I wouldn’t have you for my premiere.”

She gave him a half-smile. “I wouldn’t want to let you down.”

“I can’t imagine you doing such a thing.”

They sat quietly together for several long minutes. She listened to his steady heartbeat, and the tension slowly melted away. Things would be okay again. Someday.

“Do you want to go home?” he asked softly. “Vincent would understand.”

Anna shook her head. “Dancing... dancing helps. Helps me feel better.”

He nodded. “I could see that about you.” He stood and helped her to her feet, then hugged her tight. “I’m here for you if you need anything.”

“Thanks, Hugo.”

They walked back to the studio. Class had just started a few minutes prior, and Anna slipped on her pointe shoes and joined in. Hugo spoke with Vincent for a moment, then took his place at the barre behind her.

Anna walked into an empty apartment that evening. Her heart sank at the realization that Aaron was gone, along with Justin, to fly back to California for Jenna’s funeral. Grief consumed her and she grappled with the fact that she couldn't tell Jenna's dad how sorry she was for what had happened. That she was stuck in New York and couldn’t tell her best friend goodbye. And Aaron nor Justin could let on that they knew where she was. Anna understood why, but it didn’t make it any easier.

Hugo promised to keep her company while Aaron was out of town, and he did, letting her cry when she needed to cry, and hold her when the pain in her heart threatened to overwhelm her. He took Anna out to dinner Friday night and then they went back to Anna’s apartment and watched TV. He’d suggested going out to the club with the other dancers, or even out to a movie, but she wasn’t in the mood to be around people. And she wasn’t certain that she’d be able to contain her tears if she went out in public.

Sitting on the couch with Hugo, watching TV, was comforting. She snuggled closer to rest her arm on his solid stomach and her head on his chest. He played with her hair, brushing her neck every once in a while. She wasn’t sure he was doing it on purpose, but lifted her chin so he had better access to her neck.

His heart raced and the pain in her heart dulled as he glided his fingers down her neck, from behind her ear to her collarbone and back up. Anna fisted his t-shirt and swallowed as he repeated the motion. She wanted him. Wanted him to touch her, more than just on her neck, but would he think poorly of her if they had sex so quickly? By his comments he’d made at dinner, and how he treated her, she was pretty sure he thought of her as a sweet, innocent girl. And that’s how she was supposed to appear. She’d even felt that way a few times.

He had no idea she could give him the best blowjob of his life, and she wanted to badly. She wanted to taste him, to have him in her mouth first and then in her body.

But she also liked that he thought of her as innocent. She supposed she could justify it by thinking about the fact that Katrina hadn’t slept with many people.

His fingers caressed just above her collarbone at her neck and she sighed and lifted her chin even more.

“Katrina . . .”

She opened her eyes and saw him gazing down intently at her. He wanted her. She could feel it.

She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his, sliding her hand up his chest and around his neck. His hand came up to cup her neck and he deepened the kiss, delving his tongue urgently into her mouth. He turned toward her, deepening his kiss while caressing the side of her neck.

When he pulled away a few minutes later, they were both breathing heavily. Anna watched the expressions on his face change as he stroked her cheek. He was conflicted, wanting her but not wanting to press himself on her.

“I should go,” he said in a husky voice.

No! Her jaw trembled. “Did I do something to upset you?”

He frowned. “Why would you think that?”

“You don’t want to stay.”

Hugo closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Kittycat, there is nothing I would like to do more than stay, but—?” He cleared his throat and looked at her sheepishly. “I don’t want to do something you’ll regret.”

“Regret?”

He studied her. “Katrina, I am very, very attracted to you, in case you didn’t know.” He grinned. “But pushing too fast—?” He sighed. “I don’t want you to resent me for... for moving too fast.”

“Why would I resent you? I’m attracted to you, too.” She leaned forward to kiss him again, but he pulled back. Tears burned in her eyes and she dropped her gaze to her hands.

He lifted her chin. “I like you, Kittycat,” he said softly, and then shook his head. “I’m going to be a gentleman and leave before things go too far.” He kissed her chastely on the lips and then stood. She could see his erection straining against his jeans, and she licked her lips.

“Hugo...” she said softly, feeling herself going into seduction mode. She looked up at him for a moment and then turned away. No, she didn’t want to seduce him. She just wanted him to stay.

He kissed her on the top of her head. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

She stared at her hands until the apartment door opened and closed, and then she burst into tears. Part of her understood why he’d gone, but the other, larger, part of her felt rejected and lonely. And the pain was pounding at her heart once more, threatening to overwhelm her again.

She glanced at her watch. It was eleven-thirty. She wanted to call Wilhelm. It was, what... a nine-hour difference between them? It was early, but not too early...

She got her phone out of her purse and made the call.

“Anna?” His voice was very gravelly. “What is wrong?”

“Wilhelm...” She swallowed. “I’m sorry to wake you so early, but I... just wanted to hear your voice.”

“ Liebling , I do not mind you calling, but I am much better at conversations that do not occur in the middle of the night.”

“Middle of the night? Isn’t it six there?”

Wilhelm paused and then laughed. “Anna, you are in New York, not San Francisco. It is three in the morning.”

“Oh, God! Oh, Wilhelm, I’m so sorry! I forgot.” Her night was not improving. “I’ll call you later. I’m sorry.”

“ Nein , Anna. It was important enough for you to call. Wait a moment and I will go into the sitting room.” She heard him speaking in German to someone. Probably Ilsa. “Alright, Liebling, ” he said a few minutes later. “What happened?”

Tears escaped and Anna told him what had happened between Hugo and herself. When she was finished, he was quiet for a while. She knew he was thinking and respected his silence.

“It sounds like he is an honorable man, Anna. He left because he respects and cares for you. Do you remember how long it took for Alex to make love to you?”

“Yes.” She sniffed. Months! And why did he have to bring up Alex?

“Do not be angry with him for waiting, Anna. Most men do not take the time to rein in their desires without thinking about how it will affect the woman he is with.”

“But what do I do now?”

“Is Aaron there?”

“No. He went to California for Jenna’s funeral... Did you hear about that?”

“I did. I meant to call but... things have been very busy here the last week. I am so sorry, Liebling . I should have remembered.”

A knife stabbed at her heart at his confession. Wilhelm had known what had happened and hadn’t called her? That hurt worse than Hugo’s rejection. “It’s okay,” she said softly. “I’ll let you get back to sleep. Thank you for listening to me. Good night.” She pressed ‘end’ on the phone before he could say anything else. She went into her room, put her pajamas on, and lay down in bed. Well, her hurt had shoved away the pain in her heart once more, and diffused her need for sex. At least she’d be able to sleep now.

Wilhelm stared at his phone in disbelief. Anna had hung up on him. He silently scolded himself.

He should have called her, and he was properly rebuked. But with Alex’s return, his life had been turned upside down. Between rejoicing that Alex was alive and keeping his son calm enough to give him time to discuss with Vlad and the German Elders what to do next, he’d barely had time to think of anything else.

She would forgive him once she found out about Alex. He hoped.