NINE Ravi

NINE

Ravi

Ravi should've walked away from Jessie when he had the chance. He could find another study room, and he could give her the space she obviously was asking for. But it irritated him that she thought his presence could cause something as bad as the "evil eye."

He didn't know what possessed him to go seek her out after class on Monday, but he wanted to talk to her in person. Maybe he needed to hear her say that she didn't want to be seen with him before they met up at the library later.

He tucked his electric skateboard into the elastic straps at the front of his backpack to secure it in place, and he strolled toward the student center.

Anticipation bubbled in his veins even as his phone buzzed with an incoming text. He paused in front of the entrance so he could look down at his screen.

ARJUN: Pick an internship. Victor told me that you blew him off.

How did his family get so good at crawling under his skin? He stopped long enough to text back.

RAVI: He called on a Friday night. And I have time.

ARJUN: No, you don't.

Instead of taking the bait, Ravi shoved his phone back into his pocket. He wasn't going to engage. Not now, when he had more important things to do. Like talking to Jessie.

He yanked open the double doors and strode inside. Students were sitting in the open seating area with textbooks and laptops. The café had a short line and two baristas working the espresso machine and the cash register.

Someone called his name from the back corner. He turned to see a cluster of students from his class. He couldn't remember their names, but he was pretty sure two of them were in one of his media studies lectures. He waved and smiled in their direction before turning forward again.

There was Jessie. She sat behind the information desk, her tablet stylus shoved through the ponytail at the top of her head and her bottom lip worried between her teeth. She had a crease between her eyebrows, a tiny line that he'd noticed when he saw her concentrating on a problem.

Ravi approached the desk and folded his hands on the raised ledge. He leaned forward when she didn't notice him. "Hey," he said. "Can I get some help?"

Jessie jolted in her seat and rolled back half a foot. Her eyes were as wide as saucers, and she pressed a hand against her chest. "Holy cow," she said, gasping for air. "You scared the crap out of me."

"Sorry about that," he said. He couldn't help but smile. "A little jumpy, I see."

"What are you doing here?"

He knew she was going to ask that question, and he still wasn't sure he was willing to tell her the truth about how much her text had affected him. "Why? Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?"

Her face clouded with guilt. "No, that's not what I meant. And ... I'm, ah, sorry. About what I said."

"Did you mean it?"

She cocked her head to the side. "What?"

"Did you mean it?" Ravi asked again. He leaned closer and could see the flecks of gold in her irises. Her bow lips parted. "Are you worried that being seen with me will give you the evil eye or something? Do you think we should meet on the down-low because you don't want people to know that we're ... acquaintances?"

"The problem is that people think we're more than acquaintances," she said as she removed the pencil from her hair. "And no, I didn't mean it about the evil eye. But, Ravi, you have to admit being your friend comes with hefty fees."

She was right. Of course, she was right. Between his family, classmates, and professors who all thought he was going to be the next best thing in STEM, and his own hang-ups about pursuing a career that bored him to tears, Jessie's reasons were completely valid. But he hated knowing that the one person he was able to be himself around was the same person who didn't like what she knew about him.

"You're right," he said slowly. "Fine, do you want me to go?"

She let out a deep breath. "No, it's okay. I mean, you probably should just because I'm at work, but not because of the whole evil-eye thing."

He snorted. The information desk was a dead zone unless it was parents' weekend or something. "Are you serious? I bet you could leave right now for the rest of your shift and it wouldn't matter at all."

Ravi knew he'd said the wrong thing when her back went ramrod straight. "I would never," she said. "You may not have to work for your education, but this job means a lot to me."

He thought about his brother's text and the ultimatum about the internship. "Why?"

She blinked owlishly. "Why, what?"

"Why does the job mean a lot to you? Besides the money."

Jessie cocked her head to the side, her brows furrowing. "I guess it's because it gives me the freedom to pay for what I need to so my parents don't have to worry about me."

"So it's more for your parents?" he pressed. Ravi was genuinely curious. Now that he admitted to himself that he had feelings for her, he wanted to know everything about her. All her likes, dislikes, and happy moments from before she stepped into his life. Maybe if he could understand her, he'd understand why he liked her so much, and then he'd understand himself.

Jessie got to her feet, then looked over Ravi's shoulder as if scanning the student center to make sure that no one could hear her next few words. "Ravi, are you okay?"

"What? Yeah, of course. Why?"

"Because you're not acting like the Ravi I know," she said. "Not that I know you very well, but enough to see that you're different. And maybe this is just another side of you I haven't met before, but I don't think so."

He wanted to tell her about the internship. About his parents and brother. She should know about him, too. Maybe that would help her understand him better as well. Instead, he rocked back on his heels. "We should probably figure out a time to meet up and talk about the letters," he said.

Her eyes narrowed again, and that tiny line of concentration formed between her brows. "Yeah, we should."

"I can do tomorrow."

"Me too."

"Great," he said. He knocked twice on the desk, unsure of why he came. Why he needed to see her, to figure her out. "I guess I'll see you around, then."

"Ravi?" She called his name just as he turned to go.

"Yeah?"

"For the record," she said softly. "Sometimes the job really is about the money. Because dreams aren't cheap. Ask anyone whose parents raised them paycheck to paycheck, and they'll tell you."

"Is that why you want to become an engineer?" he said. "Not because you're passionate about it, but because of the money? Because dreaming of anything else is too expensive to risk?"

"Partly," she said. "And I'm not ashamed of it, either." She raised her chin. "It's what my father never could do, and it's something that I'm good at and that challenges me."

"And it'll make you happy," Ravi said quietly.

She nodded. Her hands running over the smooth wood of the desk. "Yes," she said. "And it makes me happy. But you have to figure out what works for you. My reasons won't be the same as yours. And yours won't be the same as your friends'. Like ... Sahdna."

He wanted to laugh, but he knew if he did, it would sound bitter and leave an acrid taste in his mouth. "My father would love it if my goals and my reasons were the same as yours," he said ruefully. "And Sahdna's dreams are the same as my parents', so no, I can't see things the same way she does. I'll see you Tuesday, Jessie Jaissi Koi Nahin," he called out over his shoulder. And then he was pushing through the front doors to step outside. He needed his vape.