Chapter 26

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

HIM — BEFORE

Back at home that night, I prepare a meal for Janelle and pour her a glass of wine. She’s been drinking more since we stopped trying so hard for a baby, and I’ve allowed it, but this is the first time I’ve been the one to pour the glass.

When she comes in the door from her workout class, she looks distracted. She’s been busy lately, taking on extra classes to keep away from me, I think. I know this can’t be easy on her—knowing I’m sleeping with someone else. Dating someone else. But now it’s all going to be worth it.

She finds me in the kitchen and stops in her tracks. “What is it?” she blurts out. She can tell something is different, changed, from the look on my face.

I hand her glass to her, but she doesn’t drink it. Undeterred, I lift mine in the air. “Well, are you, uh, are you ready to be a mom?”

She pales. “What?”

I beam. “We’re going to be parents, honey. It finally happened.”

“She’s…she’s pregnant? You actually did it? Already?”

I nod. “We had a positive test today.” I pull her in for a hug, but she’s stiff in my arms. “Guess this old guy still has working parts after all.” She’s quiet, still, and I pull back. “Is something wrong?”

“I’m just…processing.” She looks down. “Did she tell you she wants to give the baby up?”

My jaw tenses. I’d hoped to save this part for a little later. “Not exactly.”

“What does that mean?”

I sigh, dropping my arms away from her and scratching my forehead. “She wants to keep the baby. The, um, the two of us.”

Janelle’s arms go out to her sides. “Excuse me?”

“She wants us to raise it. Together.”

“And what did you say to that?”

I puff out a breath of air. “I…proposed.”

She grabs for the chair, sinking down and setting the glass away from her. “You proposed? Are you kidding me?” She pauses, chewing her bottom lip. “How is that possible? Are you leaving me?”

Suddenly, I understand the sadness in her eyes. “Oh, honey, no. Of course not. This baby is ours—yours and mine—just like I said it would be. I just need more time to convince her to give it up. I’ve got it handled. She’ll realize soon enough this isn’t what she wants. She’s too independent to be a good mother.” She winces. “But for now…I have to play the part. I have to be fully committed.”

Her eyes flicker with worry. “What does that mean?”

“I’m going to move in with her.”

She stands back up. “What? No . You live with me. Your wife .”

I put my hands on her shoulders, speaking slowly, calmly. As if speaking to a child. I’m going to be so good at this parenting thing. The best there is. “And for now, I’m going to have to move out. Most of my stuff will stay here, but I’ll get a little apartment with her. We’ll live together because that’s what she wants. I’ll play the role, and then in nine months, I’ll bring our baby home to us.”

“And if you can’t? If she doesn’t change her mind?”

My lips go tight. “Don’t worry about it, okay? Let me take care of everything.”

“I can’t believe you’re doing this.” She’s sobbing then, and I try to gather her in my arms, but she shoves me back. “You ruined everything!” she shouts, backing up and turning to run away from me. “This is not what I wanted.”

I don’t chase her. She’s mad, and I don’t blame her, but she’ll come around. She’ll see this is for the best sooner or later. I’ll make sure of it.