Chapter 6

Chapter Six

A GOLDEN CAGE

‘W hat's happening? Why didn't you call?'

My mother comes to me in a rustle of silk. There's worry in her voice. I find mine.

‘I'm fine. I was just tired, that's all.' But, before I can say any more she's hugging me, her hands stroking my hair. I cling to her for a moment, then push at her, feeling comforted and smothered all at the same time, love like a crackle in my chest. ‘I'm fine.'

She releases me, a crinkle in her perfect pale brow. ‘Are you sure? You do feel a little warm.'

‘Honestly, I'm all right. It's just been a long night.'

‘Come then, lovely girl. There is tea for you, and you can tell me all about it.' She turns to Kyle. Her gaze narrows. ‘As for you,' she says, her tones suddenly glacial, ‘I hope you have a very good explanation as to why you thought running my daughter home through the Great Forest was a good idea.'

Kyle's silver gaze flicks to me. I do nothing.

‘My lady.' He bows. ‘It is as Emelia says. She was tired and, rather than wait for the car, she wanted to come home. I thought to run with her, as the road to the house is usually safe. However, we ran into a Reaper gang and so I had to take her into the forest to evade them.'

I close my eyes.

‘A Reaper gang?' My mother's voice rises. ‘Are you mad? How could you put her in harm's way like that?'

Well, at least I'm not the only one who thinks Kyle has problems. But then I feel bad. I remember silver trees, rushing water, the wild flicker of freedom.

‘I made him bring me home,' I say, opening my eyes.

Just in time, it seems.

Kyle is kneeling, his head down, my mother bending over him with her arm raised, like some sort of avenging angel. She turns, her face a pale oval in the darkness. ‘What?'

‘He's not at fault. I er, I ordered him to bring me home. And it's really not his fault we ran into the Reaper gang. In a way, he saved me.'

She straightens up. ‘Is that so?'

‘Truly, it is.'

She looks from me to Kyle. ‘Rise,' she says.

He gets up and stands to attention, his heels together.

‘Very well,' she says. ‘I accept you had no choice in the matter. Go now. There is a meal for you, downstairs.'

‘Thank you, my lady.' He bows again. His glance flicks to me then he's gone, a darker blur against the night, the other guards following.

All except for Bertrand. He escorts me and my mother to the house, my mother matching her pace to mine. I'm fine with that. I've had enough of being carried for one evening.

I lean against her as we ascend the steps to the front door, the tall pillars either side pale lines in the darkness. I'm cold, despite the warmth of the house once we go inside. I'm also buzzing, adrenaline at our close call, at the evening I've had, still running through me. In the sitting room the fire is burning, electric candle-lamps lit. I sit on the sofa. My mother sits in the chair opposite, leaning forward to the small table to pour me a cup of tea. I smell peppermint, steaming and fragrant.

‘What happened?' There's a faint line in the skin between her eyebrows.

I pick up the cup, holding it to me as I think. ‘It was just how we said. I was tired, and my head ached. I wanted to come home, so I made Kyle bring me.'

‘You did? Because our forces are stretched thin at the moment, and I'm not sure I can find a suitable replacement. Mistral sent him to us, actually, very highly recommended. That's why I thought I could trust him with you.'

Mistral? He heads the most powerful Raven subset, and is my mother's lieutenant, so he's almost family, I guess. That doesn't change the fact I think he's a dick. He and Mother were an item once, long ago, but then she met Father and everything changed. Mistral doesn't seem to have got the message, though, sniffing around Mother whenever he comes to visit. I wouldn't touch anything he recommended with a ten-foot pole, but Mother, and sometimes Father, seem to think he's all right.

In a way, it makes sense that Mistral recommended Kyle, seeing as he is also completely irritating. But, though I hate to admit it, he might have done me a favour after all. An idea is forming. I just need to make sure Kyle isn't fired first. I know, just an hour or so ago I would have fired him myself, if I could have. But now I see… potential.

‘Well, you can,' I say. ‘I know now it wasn't a great idea, but running seemed faster than waiting for the car. Really, I'm fine.'

It's not totally a lie. The adrenaline rush is wearing off, though, and I'm starting to feel tired. I cradle my teacup, the warmth comforting like the crackle of the fire, like my mother's love. I gather it to me like a blanket, as though I can hang onto it somehow. I'll miss her, more than anything, when I leave, and I know she'll be the same. I wonder whether my father will miss me.

‘So how was the evening, apart from feeling unwell? Did you have fun at the party?' She's smiling now, a perfect pale beauty in the dimly lit room. When I don't say anything, her smile fades.

‘Um.' I have to say something. ‘Well, I had a good time.' More lies.

My mother's face lights up. ‘You did? And how was Stella?'

I blink. ‘I mean, it was strange at first, when I saw Stella.' I pause. Stella was unforgivably rude. I decide to drop her in it.

‘Well, she wasn't, um, that nice. She grabbed me. Tight.' I emphasise the last word. My mother's eyes widen. ‘But Kyle, you know, he sort of…' I pause again. ‘Well, he let her know, he reminded her, that I was, that she shouldn't, er…'

My mother looks pained. ‘Do I need to speak to her father?'

‘No! I mean, don't bother. The important thing is that Kyle looked after me, the whole night. Like he's supposed to.' I nod at this last bit. There's no way I'm going to tell her about being mistaken for a blood dancer – she'd probably have the club torn down. Humiliation washes over me again, at the memory of the vampire's rough hands on me, Stella and her friends laughing, people waiting outside the club turning to each other, frowning, as I got out of the car. If anything has shown me I'm in no way cut out to be the next Raven, it's that.

She narrows her eyes. ‘Emelia?'

Damn. ‘Yes?'

‘Is there anything else you want to tell me?'

I fold my lips tight, breathing through my nose and blinking.

‘Tell me,' she says, her voice gentle.

‘Er.' I don't know how to say it. ‘When we got there, I mean, we were in the Raven car, and I was with Kyle, but… no one seems to know who I am.'

‘The Ravenna group?—'

‘Oh, they knew. Stella just wasn't nice. It was… everyone else.'

My mother looks away. She's silent for a moment. When her onyx gaze returns to me, I swear there's a tinge of blood tears.

‘This is why we want you to go out more. Why we regret?—'

‘I'm not ready for this. For any of it,' I say, cutting her off. ‘I don't know if I'll ever be.' It's a relief to finally say it. ‘Maybe you and Father should wait, have another child or something?—'

‘I don't want another child.'

‘But I'm so useless.' The words slip out before I can stop them.

‘You are Raven!' My mother becomes fierce, baring her teeth, her hair flying silken strands of black, eyes glittering as she leans closer. ‘You hold every power that name carries. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.' She calms down, sitting back, very still, the blood tinge in her eyes more obvious. ‘Please, Emelia,' she whispers. ‘Both your father and I believe in you. Please, try again. For me.'

For her. What about what I want? The teacup is burning my fingers.

‘I think I need to sleep,' I say. I put the cup down and stand up.

Mother stands as well and, quick as a flash, is hugging me, her cool lips soft on my cheek. ‘Go and rest, my darling – I'm so very proud of you.' She squeezes me briefly before letting go.

A guard waits in the hallway outside. He follows me in silence to my room. Once inside I climb into bed, the linen sheets cool. Dawn comes, and with it the rumble as the shutters drop, the house shutting out daylight once more. I can't sleep. No matter how exhausted my body is, my mind is racing.

I'm both exhilarated and furious about what we did, at how close we came to disaster. Lace-like branches, the rush of water, his silver eyes – a kaleidoscope of silver and black turns in my mind.

And a boy in a cage.

My mood changes. I try to find the feeling again, the flutter of freedom in my chest, when the night seemed full of beauty. Kyle gave me that, at least.

Then ruined it, when he reminded me what I was.

Human.

I roll over, punching my pillow, trying to get comfortable. I don't care what my mother says, or how much my parents believe in me. Becoming Raven, taking control of a huge realm – I'm just not ready. I don't know if I ever will be. My parents are going to insist on me going through with it though, despite my pleas, despite my ignorance.

I'm trapped, as surely as that boy in the cage in the bar. My bars might be golden, but they're a prison all the same. Which is why I have to leave. Why I've been planning it, for a while now.

I want a different life.

A human life. One where I have more choices than just what to eat, or which movie to watch, or which velvet gown to put on in the evening. One where my existence isn't bound by guards and fences and darkness, by the weight of responsibility. One where I can be with others like me.

The walls feel as though they're closing in. I can't breathe. I sit up, pushing the covers back. There's a pile of folded clothes on a chair. I go over to them, picking them up. They smell fresh, like the forest, with a faint tinge of violets. I wonder for the first time who launders my things, who washes away the vestiges of my human frailty. Shame rushes through me again at my weakness, at my constant need to be guarded, to be washed and fed like an animal in a zoo. I want it to be over. I want to live my own life, among my own kind. I don't care what Kyle says about the Safe Zones. They have to be better than this.

I pull two T-shirts from the pile and go over to the fireplace. It's huge, the stone mantle carved with intricate leaves and vines. I press one of the carved leaves. A panel in the wall next to the fireplace swings back, revealing a stone passageway, a small packed bag leaning against the wall. I unzip it, and add the T-shirts. There's a pouch of gold in there, several refill vials of anti-feed, and some folded clothes. Not much, but I'm hoping I won't need more.

My plan. My way out.

I hope.

But to make the second half of my plan work, I have to do something I really don't want to do. I have to be nice to Kyle.