Chapter 39

Chapter Thirty-Nine

A PLACE TO START

‘A re you sure?'

‘I'll be fine, honestly.' I smile, but my mother's brow creases, her hands twisting together. Then I get it. ‘I'm not going anywhere. Just to the library, that's all. I don't know why I can't watch, anyway.'

‘You know your father doesn't want you anywhere near Mistral.'

I'm still in the fortified rooms, my parents not wanting to take any chances with my safety until Mistral was dealt with. My father had met him when he'd arrived at the house two nights ago, a cordon of guards taking hold of him the minute he'd crossed the threshold. He'd struggled, of course, but when my father told him what he knew, that his plans had been exposed, he gave in. He hadn't even known I'd escaped.

Now the house is full of high-ranking vampires, Raven affiliates from everywhere travelling in for the trial. It hadn't taken long – once word got out that Mistral had been behind the North Wind, the other Raven families turned on him. He's being held in one of the basement cells, awaiting his execution. Which I really, really want to watch.

But Father has forbidden it, despite my insistence that I need to see Mistral gone. He says the threat isn't over. The seeds Mistral planted have grown into fully-fledged rebellion, disturbances still being reported throughout the realm.

‘So can I go? Bertrand can take me.' My mother's mouth twists. I know she won't deny me for long. ‘Pleeeaase?'

‘Fine.' She sighs out the word. ‘But take another guard too. And lock the door. And?—'

‘Mama.' I hug her. ‘I'll be fine. The house is crawling with guards. If I'm not safe here, where will I be? I'm sorry I left, more than I can ever say. I won't do anything to worry you like that again, I promise.'

Her cool hands cup my face. ‘You'd better not,' she says. ‘Now go. I'll come to you when it's over.'

‘Okay.' I kiss her, her cheek smooth and firm. ‘I'll see you then.'

My mother told me how Mistral had done it, what he'd initially promised the humans to convince them to work with him. Apparently, he'd told them that, once he'd taken over as head of Raven, he would set up a new Safe Zone. One where humans could be free, rather than tied to our blood machines and factories. Where they could bring up their children in peace. Where they would have a future. All lies, of course. I think I cried the most when she told me that.

I can see, though, how they would have gone for it. Taken any chance for things to change. For them to have a future beyond being farmed, beyond watching their children suffer the same fate. The world is a big place, yet we've taken that freedom from them. No wonder they want it back. And Mistral can be charming, when he wants to be. When there's something he wants. But his charm won't help him now.

Because it's time. I don't care what my father says. I need to watch Mistral burn, the same way Kyle did. And I'm the only one in the house who can. I go to the door and punch the code into the keypad. It opens. There are several guards outside, including Bertrand. They all turn to look at me. I run my hand through my hair, putting my shoulders back. ‘I'd like to go to the library.'

‘My lady.' Bertrand signals to another guard, and together they escort me through the corridors until we reach the carved wooden doors. The other guard opens the door, while Bertrand flashes around the room. He comes back to me. ‘All is well, my lady.'

I told Bertrand what happened, though not all of it. I asked him about the Safe Zone, too, and what he thought of humans. His response surprised me. Apparently, until I was born, he hadn't thought of humans as anything but food. Now he feels that, if anyone can change things, it'll be me.

I smile. ‘Thank you. I'm going to put the light on. Mother said I should lock the door, too.'

‘I'll set guards outside. You understand, I cannot stay, I have to attend?—'

I nod. ‘It's fine. I'll see you afterwards.'

He bows and leaves, closing and locking the doors. I'm alone. Through the long windows I see the moon, a curving silver gleam hanging low in the sky. I feel strange, vulnerable while at the same time cocooned, the house like a blanket around me, the guards a shield, and me a soft raw thing in the middle. The carpet is soft under my bare feet as I wander over to the bookcase. I pull Interview with the Vampire from the shelf. My mouth twists. I take a deep breath, blowing it out my nose. I need to do this. I reach for the metal lever, pulling it. There's a rush of cold air.

Taking a blanket from the sofa, I start up the staircase to the roof.

* * *

It's cold, the night clear, dawn not yet visible on the horizon. Frost lines the crenellated edges, the ornate chimneys, bites at my bare feet. I hug the blanket as I get my bearings, hearing muffled voices from below. I start across the roof and, as I do, catch my foot on something. The small candle globe Kyle brought up when we were here. It's cold and dead, half filled with water, fragments of old leaves clinging to the glass.

I grit my teeth, blinking, hugging the blanket around me as I near the low wall that borders the roof. I don't bother to hide. No one will be looking up here. I don't care if they are, anyway. I am Raven, and this is my home. I hold onto that thought, pushing the others away.

I peer over the edge, my hands gripping the cold stone. Mistral is directly below. They're fixing the last of the restraints around his arms and legs. The metal chair in which he sits is spiked and cruel, his blood already pooling on the frosted grass. His golden hair gleams, silvered by the last pale moonlight. He isn't struggling, which surprises me.

I want him to see me.

Asshole.

I try not to think of Kyle.

My parents are down there, as is Artos Ravenna and several other Raven nobles, all of them standing in a loose semi-circle. Bertrand steps out of the shadows, holding a metal ring with spikes on the inside. I hold my breath. He puts the ring around Mistral's neck, pulling it tight. I hear Mistral groan.

Good.

The shadows are changing from black to purple, a golden tinge to the blue-frosted lawn. The moon is gone. My mother steps forward.

‘For your crimes, Mistral, you are sentenced to go into the light. Raven claw, blood, and stone. So be it.'

‘So be it,' the others intone. Light is glinting off the metal chair. There's a hiss, and everyone is gone. Mistral is alone, exposed. Just like I was. And the sun is about to rise.

With a rattling clang, the shutters begin to fall. Mistral writhes, straining against the metal and spikes. But he's too weakened by blood loss, the chair at the centre of a spreading red stain, like a poppy on a field of frosted white. His head tilts back, his eyes open wide. He sees me.

I do nothing, except watch.

His teeth clench, his clothing starting to smoke. There's red on his skin. The sun gets brighter, rays cutting through the morning haze. I can't feel my feet, my fingers cramped and stiff as I hang onto the stone.

There's a whoosh, and Mistral catches fire. He screams, still staring at me as flames rage across his body and out over the grass, igniting the rivulets of blood. His body twists and blackens, his back arching, blue eyes open wide.

Then he's gone.

Black ash drifts with the dawn.

I uncurl my fingers and stumble away from the roof edge, climbing through the trapdoor and down the stairs. There's a hard hot ball of something choking me. I swallow it down.

I emerge from the passage, closing the bookcase, and rub my hands together, stamping my feet to thaw them out. I go to the row of cupboards beneath the bookcases, opening the first two doors. Inside are old exercise books, piles of them. I guess they're mine, but they're not what I'm looking for. I open the next two, and there they are. Children's books. Stacked on the shelves, their colours still bright. Some of them I've read only once. I pull them out, pile after pile, until the cupboard is empty, then sit in the midst of them.

I pick up the book nearest to me. The cover shows a woman and a little girl, the pair of them holding a white kitten, illustrated beautifully against a moonlit sky. It's in pretty good condition and I put it to one side. Then I pick up the next one. It has a picture of a princess on the cover in a pink-frilled dress, her brown hair topped with a golden crown. My fingers run over the flat painted frills and I think of the little girl, of the joy she found in a second-hand book, her soft rosy cheeks and the way she'd hugged me.

And I break.

I cry and cry, tears hot on my face, falling onto the cover of the book. I hear the door creak, but I don't care. Let them deal with it, for once. I'm human, and humans cry warm tears of salt and silver, not blood and onyx. Footsteps come in, then retreat. I cry it all out. Kyle, the little girl, the people I'd met in the Safe Zone, the blood dancers, the Moon Harvest, the caged humans at the bar, my sheltered existence, everything in my life. I roll onto my back, the book hugged to my chest, tears running into my ears. As I cry an idea forms. I know what I need to do.

There's a knock at the door. I sit up, putting the book to one side and wiping my face.

‘Come in.'

It's my mother. Her red velvet gown shimmers in the glow from the candle-lamps. ‘How are you feeling?' She sits on the floor next to me, her skirts settling like the centre of a rose, her lovely face creased with worry.

‘I'm fine. I feel fine. I mean, physically. The other stuff…' I look down. ‘That might take a while.'

‘I'm so sorry,' she says. ‘We should have checked him more carefully. But we were so pleased to see you happy.'

‘I need to ask you something.'

‘Of course.' My mother becomes still. I reach for her hand, playing with her alabaster fingers, the silky-smooth skin reminding me of my childhood. I take a breath, then I say it.

‘I want to live in the Safe Zone. For a while. Until my coronation, at least. Wait.' I can see she wants to say something, but I need to explain. ‘Mistral was able to get to me, to us, because of how things are there. Because of how things are for humans. It needs to change, if we're to be in this world together. And I think that's a good place to start.'

My mother frowns slightly. I press on. ‘I'm human, aren't I?' She nods. ‘So, am I food?' Her mouth makes an ‘o' of surprise, her eyes widening.

‘No! Of course not! You're my daughter. You are Raven.'

‘An accident of birth, though, right? If I'd been born in the Safe Zone, to human parents, all I could look forward to was living and dying in the same place and, possibly, being meat for some hungry vampire. There's no difference between me and them. Yet you want me to have an education, to travel, to be your heir, while all they can do is drink and read second-hand books and p-pretend that they have a life—' I'm trying not to cry ‘—and I think they should have more. That Raven should set an example.'

‘So, what do you want to do?'

‘I want to live there for a while, and see how it works. How we can make change, perhaps offer humans a different way of living, where they have a choice. There are islands, you know, not too far out. Perhaps we could even set up a proper Safe Zone there, one where humans can be truly free again. It's time, I think, to try and build a world that works for us both.'

‘A good idea.' My mother and I both turn to see my father leaning against the doorframe, his arms folded. ‘It won't happen overnight, though, Emelia. There will be hard work involved.'

‘I'm ready,' I say. I don't just mean for the work. I mean for all of it. The crown, the mantle of Raven and all that it means. I've been through the fire and come out the other side, harder, stronger than I was before. ‘And it's what I want to do.'

‘You might fail.' My father is still serious, but there's light in his golden eyes. ‘Are you prepared for that?'

‘Better I fail than don't try at all.'

He pushes off from the doorframe, coming towards me. ‘Spoken like a ruler.' One corner of his mouth curves. ‘You are right. It is time for change. But it won't be easy.'

‘Because I'm human. I get that. But my weakness is also my strength.' I see this now, so clearly. You have no idea who you could be. Words spoken in a darkened hallway, what feels like a lifetime ago. He was right. I had no idea. But now I do.

‘Are you sure this is what you want?'

I know my mother won't want me to go. Almost losing me frightened her, and I know she'll worry. But I'm determined. It's time for the work to begin. ‘I'll come back and see you, every week,' I say. ‘I'd miss you too much, otherwise.'

She stands, holding out her hand. I take it, and she pulls me to her feet. We're the same height and, for the first time, I feel I might live up to her. She smiles. ‘Well then, my beautiful girl, let's make this happen.' She takes my other hand and we dance, my bare feet twirling on the soft rug, my spirit rising at the potential of what's to come.