Chapter 37

Chapter Thirty-Seven

RAVEN CLAW

I 'm such an idiot. Of course the Safe Zone borders would be manned during the day – otherwise, what would stop humans leaving? The fact they have nowhere to go , my mind whispers, recalling Ruth on the beach, looking out at the waves.

The man on the path moves closer. He's not smiling anymore, and has raised his gun.

‘I asked you a question.'

‘Er.' I swallow the last vestiges of bread, clearing my throat. ‘Um, I'm going to… er… the Raven estate.'

There's a glimmer of silver on the man's jacket. As he comes closer, I see it's the Raven emblem. Oh, thank darkness.

‘Oh, yes? What's your name?'

‘Emelia Raven.' I smile, expecting him to do the same. Of course my parents would have sent word that I was gone. I'm sure all the guards will be looking for me.

There's no answering smile. Instead, he tugs on a small black box attached to the front of his jacket, bringing it to his mouth.

‘We've got a live one here,' he says. My heart sinks. ‘Thinks she's a vampire. Lady of Raven, no less.' He laughs. A moment later there's an answering squawk of noise. He speaks again, then lets go of the box, returning his attention to me.

‘Right. You going to tell me who you really are?'

I just did. My mouth opens and closes. Why doesn't he believe me? Because he doesn't know who you are , my mind replies. Just like everyone else.

‘Right then. Come with me.' He jerks his gun at me, then turns and starts along the path. I have no choice but to follow. If I try to run he'll shoot me. I can't help sniffing. I'm so fucking tired, my throat hurts and I'm desperately thirsty. The pain of Kyle's betrayal is held behind a dam in my mind. I cannot release it. If I do, I'll break.

We emerge from the trees, and there's the guard hut. It looks different in daylight, mostly because there's a large gun mounted on the flat roof. An open-topped vehicle is parked next to the hut, painted the same greens and browns as the clothes the guard is wearing, the Raven emblem silvered on the side door.

My captor comes to a halt. ‘Right,' he says. ‘You need to tell me who you really are. Or are you still going with the whole "lady of Raven" thing?' He snorts. ‘That's a laugh, if I ever heard one. The only vampire who ever came out during the day.'

‘But it's true,' I say. ‘I am Emelia Raven. I'm just… human…' My voice trails off because I know how stupid it sounds. What had Jessie said, that she hadn't even known vamps could have children? If she didn't know, I doubt this guard would, either.

He walks around me, his gun still pointed at me. ‘Tell you what, I bet you're a blood dancer. Maybe got it on with one of our high lords and now have ideas above your station.'

‘That's not true! I'm telling you, my family are expecting me.'

‘Is that so?' He stops, putting his face close to mine. ‘Because Bill says he's no mention of you on the pass list. And Ravens, as far as I know, are vampires. So tell me, pretty girl, who do you dance for? Maybe you'd like to entertain me. Or maybe,' his expression hardens and he raises his gun so it almost touches my chin, ‘you're one of those rebels, trying to trick your way onto the estate.'

‘I'm not,' I manage to say, trembling from head to toe. ‘I swear it. You have to let me pass.'

‘Oh? Who says?'

Raven says. I remember Kyle on our first night out together, holding a vampire by the neck. I grit my teeth. No. Not here. Not now. I push the pain of his loss back once more.

‘That's enough!' Another voice rings out.

My captor tenses, glancing to the side. ‘But sir?—'

‘Lower your weapon! That's an order!'

My captor's throat works visibly. He obeys, lowering his gun and stepping back from me, standing to attention.

‘What's all this?' My rescuer is dressed similarly to the other guard, though he's also wearing a black beret with a flash of silver at the crest. He's taller than I am, with a brown beard and golden-brown eyes set in a reddish weathered face. ‘Who are you?'

I clear my throat. ‘Emelia Raven.' I try to sound like my mother, but it's hard when my voice is shaking. However, I stand straight, looking him in the eye.

His eyes narrow, then he turns his attention to the other guard. ‘Is there a reason for detaining her?'

‘Sir! She is not on the list, sir.'

‘So you decided to stick your gun in her face? You know how this works. That list is never fucking up-to-date, anyway.'

The other guard's jaw clenches. He salutes. ‘Sir!'

‘Right, young lady.' He turns his attention to me. ‘Where are you going?'

‘To the Raven estate. Er, sir.'

‘Who's meeting you?'

‘Meeting me?' I shake my head. ‘I told you, I'm Emelia Raven. Surely my family have put the order out, that I'm missing? I just need to get home.'

He presses his lips together, frowning. ‘Raven don't share their concerns with us.' He folds his arms, considering me, then sighs. He jerks his head towards his vehicle. ‘Hop in. I'll take you as far as the town. I have business that way.'

‘Oh, thank you.' Relief floods through me. I run to the vehicle, opening the door and sliding into the front passenger seat. My rescuer gets in as well, pulling the side door shut and starting the engine. The other guard still stands to attention as we pull away. I resist the urge to give him the finger, huddling in my seat instead, thanking my lucky stars to be in a car rather than on foot. I'd have been lucky to make it to Dark Haven by nightfall, the short winter days working against me. I'd have done my best, though, because there's no way I'm going back. Not to the girl I was. Not to the dusty room where Jessie is waiting to change, where ash blows in the breeze. Nor to Mistral, and whatever he had planned. I'm going home. And when I get there, I am going to be the next Raven.

The road curves through dense forest, a mix of evergreens and bare branches on either side of us. In some places they meet overhead, like we're in a tunnel. The wind whips through my hair and I scrape it off my face.

‘This was all farmland once,' says my driver, shouting over the noise of the road.

‘Really?' I blink, peering through the tangle of trees. There are darker shapes back there, humped buildings, a flash of red brick. I wonder whether anyone ever goes back to them.

‘Yes, so my father told me. There are houses in there, too, you know. Whole villages swallowed up. And other things. You'd know that, I guess, if you are who you are.'

But I don't know. The Rising is a proud part of my people's history. I'd never considered how much had been lost.

‘You still don't believe me?'

My driver glances at me. ‘About who you are?' He shakes his head, half-smiling. ‘Well, you seem pretty convinced.'

‘My parents really haven't alerted the guards that I'm missing?' I find this hard to believe.

His smile slides away. ‘They could have. But not us.'

Realisation dawns. Another shitty, shitty realisation. ‘B-because you're…'

‘Human.'

This is crazy – why the hell would my parents not have told all the Raven guards to look out for me? Because their world is a world of night. Another thing I want to change.

There's a bottle in the centre console, dark green with a narrow top, liquid sloshing in it. My mouth prickles with thirst.

‘Please, can I have some of your drink?'

‘What's that?' He leans closer to me and I notice a small red pin on his collar, a flower.

I shout louder. ‘Your drink. Can I have some?'

‘Help yourself,' he says, with a nod.

I do, relieved to find it's water. I drink too much at first, coughing so hard he takes a hand off the steering wheel and bangs me on the back. My bread is gone, lost at the guard hut, but the water is like cool heaven trickling down my throat.

‘Thanks.' I pop the lid back on, replacing the bottle in the console.

We drive for a while longer, neither of us saying anything. I relax, everything blurring slightly. The trees give way to houses, shuttered against the day, then businesses, shops and bars and cafés, all of them closed, the face of the town covered as though with a veil.

My rescuer pulls the vehicle to a halt next to the kerb, the engine grinding, gravel crunching. We're outside the Dome. Strange to be back here, where it all began.

‘This is your stop,' he says.

There's so much I want to ask him. But all I say is, ‘Thank you. So much. For everything.'

He smiles. ‘You make sure you wait here. Ira, who owns this place—' he jabs a thumb towards the Dome ‘—well, he's pretty sympathetic to humans. Raven are often here. Don't go anywhere else, though – after nightfall it'll be suicide.'

I don't want to wait. I want to go home. By nightfall I'm sure the place will be crawling with Raven guards, but there's no guarantee they'll find me first.

I open the door and climb out. ‘How far is it?'

‘How far is what?' He's about to drive away.

‘The estate. Raven.'

‘Oh, not too far. Ten miles or so up the road.' He points. ‘Just stay here, though.'

‘Can you take me?'

‘Sorry. I'm already late. Just do as I say and you'll be fine.' He raises his hand, gravel shrieking under the wheels as he drives away. I watch him go until I can no longer see him. Then all is silent.

I close my eyes, trying to banish the thought of being here with Kyle, of how safe I'd felt in his arms, the magic and beauty of running with him under the stars. Pain waits, like a raw wound inside me. I push it down once more, though it's getting harder to hold back. I have no idea what time it is, the sun directly overhead. Ten miles, my rescuer said. I think I can make it. I have to make it.

But I'm so tired. My feet hurt, boots chafing my toes and heels, my neck is aching and I'm starving. It's all I can do to put one foot in front of the other. But I have to. I have to. If I can get to the gates, I can figure it out from there.

There's damage to a lot of the buildings in the town centre, shop fronts blown out and blackened, signage torn down. I pass the burned-out ice cream parlour, the North Wind graffiti still visible on the wall. A couple of small black flakes float past me as the wind lifts. To think it was Mistral, all along. I cannot wait to tell my father.

The thought spurs me on as I wind through the streets leading out of Dark Haven, past shuttered homes with manicured gardens, shining cars in some of the driveways. The comparison to the Safe Zone isn't lost on me. I realise, again, as I pass the last of the houses, that I need to do something about it. That I'm possibly the only one who can. I can't believe I considered leaving it all behind. And for what? For who? my mind whispers. I grit my teeth, pushing forward.

I'm back among trees once more, the road a smooth ribbon of asphalt. Of course it's well maintained. It's the approach to my house. Things I've taken for granted my whole life now appear in a new light, and I wonder at the injustice of it all as I stumble along the verge.

After a while I need to stop. I'm so tired, plus the water has gone through me and I need to pee. I step into the bushes and relieve myself, then sit beneath a large tree. My neck aches, my feet throbbing. I daren't take my boots off, though – I'll never get them back on again. I lean my head against the rough bark. My eyes close.

* * *

I wake with a start. Where the hell am I? I'm freezing cold, lying on my side in dead leaves. The shadows are long, and there's rustling among the trees. I push myself up to sitting, my hand to my head. It all comes back to me. Kyle, and the need to get home. Home. Oh shit. What time is it? It's dark beneath the trees, though not pitch-black. I get to my feet and push through the bushes to the road. It's lit by fading sun, tree shadows striping the tarmac, the sky turning to rose gold. Shitshitshit. The sun is starting to set.

I don't know how far I have to go, but I know I need to move, and quickly. I gather the last of my energy and start to run, tears cold on my cheeks, my muscles protesting as I force myself onwards. The road curves, then curves again. My chest feels banded in iron, but I keep going, fear driving me as the light fades. And there they are. The gates of home. I sob in earnest when I see the raven-topped pillars, the long curving drive. I stagger and stumble the last few yards, reaching for the ornate ironwork.

But the gates are locked. Fuck. Of course they are. I rattle them, but they barely move. Disappointment overwhelms me. I sink down, my legs folding beneath me. Wrapping my arms around the wrought iron, I rest my head, waiting. I only hope the guards realise who I am before they attack. The sky is a flaming bowl above me, the trees shading to purple. It's completely glorious, yet I feel nothing. It's as though everything is gone from me, drained by the night's events and the day's walk. I stare at the clouds, but see nothing. Gradually, my head droops, and I slip into a doze.

A hand grabs my arm, squeezing tight so I wake up. ‘Ow!' My squeal becomes a scream as I'm yanked upwards, my shoulder twisting painfully.

‘Human!' The guard on the other side of the gate snarls, his fingers digging into me.

‘Emelia Raven,' I shout, my face pressed painfully into the scrolled iron. ‘You have to let me in. Raven claw, blood, and stone.' The last bit is muffled, but all of a sudden my arm is released. There's a rattle of keys, then the gate moves and I collapse, sprawling across the gravel. Hands turn me over, and I hear the rapid thuds of vampires running towards me.

‘My lady!' I recognise that voice. It's Bertrand. ‘Get her to the house, now!' The last command is barked out. I'm gathered into strong arms, feel wind rush around me, hear the clank of the gates closing. I'm home.