Chapter 35

Chapter Thirty-Five

INTO THE LIGHT

‘I don't like this.'

I blink. I'm still lying on the carpet. My eyes feel full of grit, my cheek sore where Kyle slapped me. But not as sore as my heart.

‘I don't like it either. But it's the only way, Jess.' Kyle. I remember when the tenderness in his tone was directed towards me. ‘We have to keep going, for your family, for us. For what we believe in. Mistral promised, he promised that at the end of this we'd be free, that your brother would get his treatment.'

‘It doesn't seem right.' Huh. That's a surprise, seeing what a complete bitch Jessie's been. I keep my eyes closed and try not to move. I want to hear this. ‘What's he going to do to her?'

‘Mistral? I don't know. I mean, he says he wants to kill her, but there's no way he can, not if he wants her mother to be with him. She dotes on her.'

But he will kill me. He doesn't care. All he wants is to be Lord of Raven. It's so clear to me now. As is the fact that Kyle, despite what he says, is no rebel. He's just a Reaper vamp with a human girlfriend, making a deal with the devil. After all, why would any vampire support a human rebellion? Why would they want things to change?

‘What? I mean, I kind of hate her for being with you, plus she's a fucking Raven, but really, she's just a kid?—'

‘I know.' Kyle sounds sad. ‘I know. But there's no other way. I really don't think he'll hurt her. He'll probably just shut her away again.'

Screw that. There's no way anyone is putting me back in my cage.

‘It doesn't seem fair.'

‘I know. I hated deceiving her. She's more than I'd expected her to be.' Another surprise. It doesn't change anything, though. A tear slides down the side of my face. I hear rustling noises. Jessie speaks again.

‘I wonder why they didn't change her.'

‘They tried. But she's immune. She may be human, but she has vampire blood.'

‘Really?' Jessie sounds intrigued. ‘I didn't even know vamps could have human kids, you know? Not until we found out about her.'

Yeah. Emelia Raven. The big fucking secret. When I become Raven, one of the first things I'm going to do is tackle the stigma surrounding us. Well, me, I guess. I suppose I'm the only one. But then, how would I know?

‘Vamps aren't so different from us, really.' Jessie sounds reflective. ‘So why do they treat us like they do?'

‘You know why.'

‘Because of our blood.' Jessie's voice is teary. ‘That's all we are to them. And my brother—' her voice breaks ‘—is going to die because of it.'

Oh. That's sad. I remind myself what a bitch she is. And the fact that she's basically condemned me to death. Actually, you know what? Fuck her. I'm sorry for her brother, but that's as far as it goes.

‘That's why we're doing this, why we have to do this. So he won't.' Kyle sounds fierce.

‘I don't know why we have to look after her. What if her family tracks her down? This whole thing is such a mess.'

Yes, Jessie. It is. A big fucking mess. Just like you'll be, when my family catches up to you.

Kyle speaks again. ‘You know Ruth told me not to hand her over? She refused to help me, once she figured out who she was.'

‘Maybe you should have listened to her.'

Wait, Ruth knew who I was? It's becoming more and more apparent how little I know about anything. I hate myself for being so na?ve. But what else could I be, brought up in darkness and solitude, surrounded by guards, watching old films and reading books? I feel sorry for the girl I was, who knew so little. She's gone, now.

There's silence, then more rustling, a creaking noise. ‘You cared for her, didn't you? I could tell. I hated seeing you together.'

More silence. I hold my breath. Whatever Kyle says, it's going to hurt. I hear him sigh. ‘I didn't know you'd be at the bar, the night of the Moon Harvest. I thought you were going to meet me afterwards, when I took her to Mistral?—'

‘But of course you had to run into Ira! Mistral was raging, you know.' Jessie is sobbing. ‘I tell you, Kyle, he'd better keep his word.'

Ira? I remember the strange delivery of wine. And realise what he was trying to do. He must have suspected Kyle; I remember his insistence that Kyle take me home, how annoyed Kyle had seemed. And Ira, dear Ira, had let him know he'd be checking I made it back there. Sadness at Ira's kindness, at the thought I probably won't ever get to thank him, washes over me.

‘Well, he's already come through with one thing.'

There's more rustling, a soft sigh. ‘He has?'

‘Yes. I can change you. Finally. We can be together and protect your family, get them out of the Safe Zone.'

‘Oh.' It's just a small word, a sound, really. But there's yearning in it, a deep sighing sorrow. I almost feel sorry for her again. Almost. But the fact they both feel bad doesn't change the fact that they're going to hand me over to Mistral.

The sounds in the room change to creaking and sighs. My moment of sympathy passes, replaced by surging anger as Jessie's moans become more rhythmic, the bed squeaking. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to block out the memory of Kyle's mouth on my body, how it felt when he ran his hands through my hair, across my skin…

I grimace, trying not to cry out.

Asshole. Assholes.

There's a snapping sound and Jessie gasps, high-pitched. Is he…? Would he dare , while I'm right fucking here ? I gasp, too, as though the breath has been punched from me.

He's changing her.

I hear lapping noises, her moans muffled as she sucks from him, the choked groans he makes. I start to cry, then.

For my mother, my father, for the disappointment I am, endangering them all. I cry for love, gone from me forever. Because this is it. I'm fucked. This is how it's going to end for me, here, in this shitty room. I think about home, the costumes waiting in the darkness, the robes I'm never going to wear. The last fucking Raven – at least, until my parents have another child.

Something occurs to me, cutting through my agony. If he turns Jessie, she'll be out of it for the next little while. Meaning it will be just me and Kyle, alone here. I shrink into myself, wondering what he's going to do to me.

Then it's as though someone shakes me. A tendril of fire starts low in my stomach. I am Raven, and Ravens don't give up easily. While there's breath, there's life, right? And I'm still breathing.

I open one eye. They're both naked on the bed, their bodies twined together, Jessie's mouth a red stain against Kyle's neck, his head back, eyes closed in ecstasy as he drinks from her wrist. I scan the room for something, anything I can use to fight my way out of here.

Then I realise something. I shouldn't be able to see them. The candles have burned down to nothing, and the room should be in darkness. I turn my head, ever so slightly. But I could probably have done a dance. They're oblivious to me. And I see light around the old shutters, a thin line of gold.

I tuck my legs under me, sliding up the wall to standing. I keep my eyes on them the whole time, no matter how it hurts to see them locked together. I run my hand along the shutters, feeling for the catch. It's locked.

But the key is in the lock.

I turn it. It clicks.

Kyle snarls. ‘Emelia!'

Fuck him. The catch is stuck, but I work at it. Kyle tries to extricate himself from Jessie, but the blood magic has taken hold and she's stiffening, her limbs wrapped around him.

‘Emelia, stop!' His face is distorted, angry, yet he's still beautiful, his muscles shadowed perfection. I swallow. But I know what I have to do. It's the only way I'll get out of here.

His voice changes, to how it used to be when he spoke to me. ‘Please, Emelia – don't.' He manages to untangle himself. But it's too late. For him, for us, for everything. I step aside, and the shutters come open.

Sunrise.

Light, golden and terrible, pours in, catching Kyle in its blaze. And he burns. Oh, it's horrible. His skin blisters, great red bumps appearing where the light touches him. He screams, writhing in agony on the dusty carpet. Jessie is whimpering, but I can't take my eyes from Kyle. His black hair crinkles and shrinks, his body curling and cracking as the ligaments catch and burn. The last thing to go are his eyes, silver in his blackened face, staring at me.

Then he's gone.