Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty-Seven

GIVE ME TONIGHT

T his time, he does stop. ‘What is it?' His tone is gentle, but there's a thread of something else running through it, like the tension I feel in his body. He releases me, though.

‘I, er…' Crap. How do I say this? For the first time I consider he's also ruined his career, at least once my parents find out he was the one who took me away from them. He's done everything for me. I'm ashamed I haven't thought of this before. And now I'm going to tell him it's not what I want, after all. I clear my throat. ‘I think I might want to go back. Home.'

There's silence, like a breath drawn in. I brace myself.

‘Are you serious?'

His voice is quiet, though, not the shout of anger I'd expected. Maybe that's worse.

‘I-I… just, the things I saw today, the way people live, it's just not?—'

‘—not what you expected?' Again, that dangerous quiet. It's as though the world has stopped, absolute stillness.

‘No! I mean, yes, partly. But also… You said, once, you thought I'd be a good Raven.'

‘I did.'

His arms are folded. I pause before continuing, knowing it's important I get this right. I also want to get a handle on myself, on the anger blooming inside me again, threatening to well up in my eyes, my throat. ‘Well, maybe I should do it, then. Maybe I can change things for everyone, so humans get a better deal, more opportunity.' I think about the little girl again, her future, bleeding into a bag, tied to the same place until she dies. ‘I think with the Moon Harvest and the upcoming coronation and… everything, it was reaction. I just wanted to get away. I'm sorry I involved you.'

Kyle's mouth is tight. He looks away, a muscle flexing in his jaw. There's pain in my chest, at what I've done, at how I've dragged him along in my plans.

‘We can go back now, you can drop me at the gates and then go to Mistral, like you were supposed to – no one needs to know you were with me, I won't say anything. I can handle my parents punishing me, as long as you're all right.' It's the best plan I can come up with. I hope he goes for it. And forgives me.

The muscle in his jaw stops flexing. He turns back to me. Moonlight catches the silver of his eyes, carves shadows along his cheekbones. His arms are still folded. ‘What about us?'

‘Wh-what about us?' Oh god. This is it. It's over. The pain in my heart increases.

‘What about the life we wanted? Together?' He unfolds his arms, takes a step closer. ‘I was going to show you the world, Raven girl.'

‘You still can!'

‘What, as your guard?' He shakes his head. For the first time, he sounds angry. ‘Be realistic. You're the heir to Raven. If I take you back there, you'll find someone else, someone more suited to your station. Or your parents will marry you off.'

‘Not if I don't let them.'

‘Do you think you'll have a choice? Once you put those robes on, take the sceptre, that's it. You'll be Raven.'

‘And then I'll change things.'

‘Change things. Ha!' He huffs out the sound. ‘Do you think it will be that easy?' He turns away, hands on hips.

The pain moves up to my throat, the ache of unshed tears. ‘No. I don't. But I'm the only one who can do it. You said it yourself, a bridge between humans and vampires! I can help people. Like your ex and her brother. Like Ruth. Like… all the people I saw today.'

‘This is just one town, Emelia. You're talking about changing the world.' He's turned back to me, hands in pockets.

‘I know.' I do know. I mean, I'm just realising it, how big the task will be. ‘You could help me.'

‘Me? I'm just a guard.'

‘Not if I promote you. I don't want Mistral as my first lieutenant.' I don't want anything to do with Mistral, my skin crawling at the thought of him.

‘Mistral is a prince of Raven.'

‘And a lying asshole.'

Kyle grins, a flash of white in the dark. ‘There is that, I guess.'

I breathe easier, the pain in me starting to subside. ‘So will you do it? Will you take me home?'

He comes closer, finally, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. ‘Will you give me tonight?'

‘What?'

‘If I agree to take you back, will you give me tonight? Just the two of us, like we wanted.'

His touch awakens tingles in me. ‘One night?'

‘For now. But one where you make sure this is what you truly want. And one where we can be together, truly together.'

He hugs me and I melt into him. One night? I'd give him all my nights, if I could.

But this, this is a beginning.