Chapter 1

Chapter One

CHANGING OF THE GUARD

W hen I was born, my father tried to kill me. No one would have been bothered if he had – it was the way of things for babies like me. But my mother fought him, or so I've been told. Still weak from my birth, blood on her legs, on her gown, spattered in her shining dark hair. And she won, as I screamed in the cot by the bed. She won. And so it has always been, her fighting for me. I love her like fire, like water, like something born of this earth that is bigger and stronger and deeper than words. When I was younger, she was my whole world.

Now she is my only regret.

* * *

‘Come, Emelia, we are waiting for you.'

My father stands at the double doors to the sitting room, his arms folded. Tall and lean, the high collar of his black jacket stark against his angular pale face, the glitter of gold on the cuffs echoed in his eyes.

I pick up the pace, wishing I was faster, hating that I'm not. I keep my emotions locked inside, though, my pace gliding, my movements controlled, so I'm just like the rest of them. Hide my anxiety away, bank my anger to a low roar. Bertrand, one of my personal guards, takes up a position to one side of the doors. His massive arms are folded, the silver details on his uniform glinting in the faint light from the candle-lamps. My father ushers me inside.

‘How are you, my gorgeous girl? All ready for Halloween?' My mother comes to hug me, linking her arm with mine, her long hair rippling like black satin around her perfect oval face. She's the one who's Raven, not my father, though he's taken her name.

‘I'm fine,' I say, as she leads me to the sofa. Even though I'm not. Silk cushions slide against our gowns, soft like her cool touch. The room is warm, a fire burning in the fireplace, candle-lamps lit. The light and the heat are for me. They don't need it.

‘So, Emelia', my father says. ‘Your mother and I have been discussing the duties that come with your inheritance. We feel it is time for you to take on more.'

Oh darkness. Anxiety swirls in my stomach. My inheritance. A huge weight of responsibility looming ever closer, like a distant storm just over the horizon I hope won't ever arrive. When I turn eighteen next year, I'll be officially declared ruler of Raven, like every other Raven heir throughout the centuries. However, unlike those other Ravens, I don't feel remotely ready to take on the role. Nor do I want it.

My father frowns, pinching the bridge of his nose with his long fingers. ‘You're old enough now to be going out alone. You should be. There are certain expectations, despite your, er?—'

‘Alone?' I'm never allowed to go anywhere alone.

‘With a guard, of course.' My mother glances at my father. ‘But what your father is trying to say, is that we don't like to see you shut in, the way you are.'

‘We realise that we've kept you… cloistered. And we have had our reasons for doing so.' My father paces, his hands together with the fingertips touching. ‘So, we've arranged an outing. An opportunity to represent your house.' His golden gaze comes to me. ‘Your cousin, Stella, is visiting Dark Haven to host a full moon party for Halloween. Usually your mother and I would make an appearance, but we felt you'd be better suited to the task.'

‘I don't want to go.'

My mother's hand tightens briefly on my arm. ‘There's nothing to be frightened of,' she says.

I open my mouth to protest, to tell her she's mistaken. I'm not frightened. I just don't want to go. Don't want to shame them any more than I already do. But before I can say anything there are footsteps.

Another guard enters the room, tall and muscular in the silver and black livery of Raven Guard. But oh, it doesn't really matter what he's wearing.

He's beautiful.

Ridiculously so. His smooth skin is pale, but there's a gold flush to it, as though he's swallowed sunlight. His cheekbones are high, his eyes a shimmer of silver grey, startling against dark lashes and glossy black hair like my own. He bows to my parents, then to me, and I swear he winks at me. His heels come together and he stands to attention, staring straight ahead.

I turn to my mother, a question in my eyes. She sees it, of course.

‘This is Kyle. We thought if you had your own personal guard, perhaps you would feel better about going out.' Her voice rises on the end, like a question.

‘What?' A blush heats my skin. My control is slipping, despite my best efforts. ‘I have a personal guard! What about Bertrand?'

‘Bertrand is needed elsewhere on the estate, and can't always be with you.'

‘The heir to Raven needs a dedicated personal guard, especially now.' My father moves closer, firelight gleaming on his high cheekbones.

‘So you're making me go with… him?' I gesture towards the new guard.

‘We thought it might be nice for you to be with someone closer to your own age. You won't have to do anything – just be there in our name.' There's sympathy in my mother's onyx eyes. My father turns away, his nostrils pinched.

My frown deepens. My own age? Sure, Kyle might look eighteen, but that's no guarantee of anything. I glance at him again. He's not looking at me, but I know he's aware of me. Everyone in the room, as well as the hallways outside, is aware of me.

I try to break free of my mother's grasp but she won't let me, her long fingers cool. ‘You can't make me do this.' I let anger curl through the words, just a hint, hoping it hides the pleading.

‘We're not making you do anything.' My father's tones are clipped. ‘It's a simple outing to a local club. Something you should be more than capable of handling. As Raven, far more will be expected of you.'

‘Please, Emelia,' my mother says. ‘You are the future of this house, after all.'

And I snap.

‘How can I be the future when I'll be dead before you?' I hiss.

My mother flinches. ‘How can you say?—'

‘ I will not have it! ' My father's voice thunders into the room. Everyone is silent. The new guard stares straight ahead. My father advances on me. ‘How dare you speak so? You are the heir to this family, to our great name, and it's time you start acting like it!' He looms over me, all cold fury, like an iron statue.

My breath hitches in my chest, hot anger in my cheeks, choking my throat. I want to scream at them for what they've done, how they've made me. Unable to bear any more, I turn away, heading for the door. I hear the rustle of my mother's skirts, then her voice.

‘Let her go, Aleks.'

I run across the foyer, taking the stairs that spill like molten gold from above. I race along the upstairs hallway as though trying to outrun my emotions, my fists clenched. Moonlight streams through long windows, painting silver squares on the dark carpet. I flash through them, light to dark, to light again, past the tall arched doors of the library where I used to take my lessons, beneath the huge gleaming map of the world on the wall. South America, coloured copper for Jaguar, Asia, jade green for Scorpion. Africa, golden like Lion. North America and Europe coloured silver for Raven, our major cities marked with stars. Places I've never been to, but that I'm expected to rule one day.

Except how can I?

I can't even go to a party without a fancy new guard.

Yet I'll be forced to take the crown when I'm eighteen, simply because of who my parents are. Never mind that my skin, my eyes, the way I move, everything will give me away for what I am.

Human.

In a world ruled by vampires.

A throwback, a reminder of our human DNA. And a liability, especially in one of the great families like Raven.

Blood borne, because my parents are both vampires, yet not a vampire at all.

Rage flares through me, fury at my parents, at the life they're forcing me to lead. I speed up, feeling as though I might burst into flames. How the hell do they expect me to suddenly become Raven? To go to parties, lead Gatherings, take my place on the global stage. I've barely even left the estate. I pause at one of the windows, gazing out into the darkness. Faint moonlight gleams from the distant boundary fence.

There's a whole world out there. A world I've never seen. But I want to. I want to see it, all of it. Not as Raven, but as I really am.

I've never even met another human, apart from the dancers who work for my parents. I bang my fist against the cold glass as though I can smash through it, break free of the walls that confine me, unleash my rage and fear. But all that happens is the window rattles. I lean my head against it, breathing hard.

My senses prickle as though someone is nearby, waiting in the darkness, even though I know there's no one in my parents' house who would hurt me. I push off from the window and start running again, letting my anger carry me.

A body slams into mine. I would fall, if not for an arm catching me around the waist.

‘My lady?'

My breath catches. It's Kyle, the new guard. His face is close to mine, his violet scent all around me. His eyes widen.

‘Forgive me.' He releases me and steps back, his hands clasped behind him. Moonlight carves his face into angles and shadow, catching the silver glitter of his eyes. ‘I just thought that, as your new guard…' He pauses. ‘Can I escort you to where you need to go?'

I wipe my cheeks and stand straight, imagining myself pale and cool like my mother, despite my pounding heart, my rapid breath. ‘I'm going to my room.'

He bows. ‘Of course.'

I don't really want to go to my room, but it's the one place that's mine. But when we get there, he stops me from entering.

‘Let me check,' he says. Which is ridiculous. Who would be in my room? They'd have to get over the perimeter fence, through the acres of grounds, scale the walls and break through the bars on my window. Not difficult for a vampire, except for all the Raven guards they'd have to get past first. Anyone who made it this far deserves to get me, as far as I'm concerned. Plus, I doubt my pretty companion would be much defence. But I let him look while I wait at the door.

‘It's all fine.' He stands to attention. ‘Do you… will you need to feed later?'

‘I beg your pardon?' If and when I want to feed, I'll tell him. Not before.

His brows draw together. ‘I have to ask.'

‘No, you don't.'

His frown deepens, a ripple in his smooth brow. ‘Fine.' He snaps the word out, then takes up a position to the left of my door, his back to the wall. ‘I have to stay here,' he says, with a fierce glance at me. ‘Unless that's wrong too?'

What the hell? He won't last long as my guard if he thinks he can act like that. I huff out a breath and stalk into my room, slamming the door shut and dropping the bolt. Like it would make a difference to him, or to anyone.

I flick the light switch on. Golden light pools along my bed, highlighting the tapestry cover, the cushions, the carved wooden panels lining the fortified stone walls. It slides along the velvet curves of the sofa by the window, the mahogany gleam of my dressing table and chair, reflecting in the black mirror of my television. My room is a calm place, somewhere I can relax. Usually. But not tonight.

I cannot do this. Even though it's just an outing to a local club, it's a step closer to who I'm supposed to be. But not who I want to be.

All I'll do is embarrass my family name, my parents. A human, thinking they can lead Raven. It would be funny if it wasn't so ridiculous.

Plus, I have to go with Kyle, who seems to hate me already. Who does he think he is, speaking to me like that? I pace back and forth, trying not to think about his body against mine, the cool violet of his breath on my skin. I don't know why I can't just keep Bertrand as my guard.

I flick on the TV, trying not to scream. It's mid-stream, one of my favourite shows. A boy and a girl, both about my age, sit at a table together outside, talking. Light gleams from the planes of his face, from her bright eyes, dancing through the leaves of trees. My anger slides away, replaced by sorrow.

I used to try and ignore the fact I was going to be Raven, as though it might go away if I didn't think about it too much. When it became clear it wasn't going anywhere, I knew I had to act.

I have everything I could ask for, except the one thing I truly want. A human life lived in sunlight and warmth, instead of cool shadows. Like the lives I see in the old movies I watch, alone in my room. Somewhere I fit in, rather than being a liability, a monstrous throwback. An impossible dream, I used to think.

But now I have a plan.

I will not be the next Raven.