Chapter Twenty-nine: Ain’t Gonna Drown

Gia

AIN’T GONNA DROWN

Performed by Elle King

Addy and I were at thekitchen counter, eating sandwiches, while I started down the rabbit hole of Jaime Laredo’s life. I’d been itching to do it all morning but had spent my time with Addy and her schoolwork instead. I’d just brought up his tax return when a call from Rory pulled me from it. The excitement in her voice immediately lifted my hopes.

“Tell me you have good news.”

“I haven’t broken the encryption.”

“Damn.”

“But I realized maybe it could help us in a different way.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, the coding has Ravyn’s signature all over it, just like the other clues she dropped for us. It made me wonder if we’d missed other breadcrumbs she’d left behind.”

I inhaled. “So, you’ve been searching the internet for her signature.”

“Yes!”

“What did you find?”

“It’s more what I didn’t find.”

“Rory!”

She laughed. “I know. I know. But it looks like she’s been erasing things for years from multiple databases. She’s been scrubbing someone’s history.”

“Her own?”

“It could be why we haven’t gotten any hits on the facial reconstruction.”

“I wish she’d been working for us.”

Rory got quiet. “I don’t think anyone should have what she was working on.” She spoke softly, as if she was trying to not be overheard by the other analysts sitting around her. “Certainly not the criminals, but not our government either. I don’t trust anyone to have the integrity needed to use it for good and not evil.”

“I think you’re right.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to take a look at the masterpiece of coding required to make it happen, but then I’d want to burn it from my brain so I could never recreate it.”

A noise at the back door had me shifting to look down the glass breezeway leading to the garage. I hadn’t heard the doors roll up, and the cameras hadn’t alerted me to anyone on the driveway. Plus, it was a little too early for Ryder to be home yet.

I glanced at Addy, who was watching a show on Ryder’s laptop. My hand went to the butt of my gun, but I didn’t want to draw it and freak Addy out, so I eased farther into the breezeway toward the garage before I pulled it out.

I dropped my voice to a mere whisper, “Hey, call Enrique for me, check in with the perimeter?”

“You okay?” Rory’s voice sounded worried.

“Just a noise. I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“If you don’t call back in two minutes, I’m sending in the cavalry.”

“Deal.”

I hung up, stuffed the phone in my back pocket, and tried to creep toward the door, which was ridiculous. With the hallway being made of glass, anyone outside could see me just as clearly as I could see them. A quick glance in both directions showed no one.

And yet, my senses were screaming.

As I neared the door to the garage, the handle started to turn slowly and quietly. My heart skipped a beat, wishing I’d had time to check the cameras. I eased to the far side of the door and took aim at it. When the door cracked open, a Five-seveN pistol appeared in the opening, gripped in a black-gloved hand.

I used my shoulder to slam the door onto the hand, and the gun clattered to the slate floor as a howl of pain erupted from a man on the other side.

“Addy, hide!” I screamed as the door pushed into me with enough force that it jammed my hand to my chest. I stumbled backward, hitting the glass behind me and making the entire wall ripple.

A man with the same build and similar ski mask as the one who’d escaped in the woods the other day surged into the hallway. He attempted a sweeping kick meant to send me sprawling. I jumped over it, raised my gun, and pulled the trigger. The man’s body jolted backward, a hole in the chest of his black jacket proving I’d hit home, but it didn’t slow him down. He leaped toward me as I pulled the trigger again, and this time, when his body jerked back, I was close enough to see the bullet embed in a bulletproof vest.

I lowered my aim and was just about to take a shot at a kneecap when my body was jerked off the ground from behind with a viselike grip on my waist. I crashed back into a massive chest, feet dangling. Fear lit me up. For me. For Addy. How had I not heard him? Why had the alarms not gone off?

I shifted my hand, trying to aim my gun behind me but mammoth fingers twisted my wrist. I cried out as pain shot through me. Unable to hold on, my weapon hit the ground with a loud clang. The humiliation of losing it was quickly replaced with desperation. I had to protect Addy!

The man holding me wrapped an arm around my neck and applied enough pressure that my breath left my body. I rammed my elbows into his rib cage and heard a satisfying crack, but the hold he had on me didn’t loosen, and not even a whimper escaped him. Instead, the grip he had on my neck grew tighter until only gurgling noises escaped my throat.

My panic grew as I fought to remember my training and all the ways I was supposed to dislodge a bigger opponent.

The man I’d shot stormed toward me, waving the pistol he’d retrieved.

“Bitch, that fucking hurt!” he yelled, rubbing one hand over the holes in his vest.

“Do not kill her,” the man holding me warned. “The boss wants her alive. Find the child.”

His voice was deep. Gritty. It matched the massive body that was holding me as if I weighed nothing. As if I was a mere inconvenience. The fact they wanted me alive should have been a relief, but I knew what cartels did to people. I’d seen the images. Death would almost be better. Except, that meant them getting Addy.

I wouldn’t go without a fight. I jammed my foot backward with all my strength, connecting with some part of the man’s leg, but he still didn’t budge while his chokehold was draining me of every last particle of air. My vision went spotty. My lungs screamed. My attacker’s arm was a cement block against my throat. The first man stormed past me into the kitchen as white lights danced in front of my vision. I kicked again, this time landing on the first man’s hip as he went by. He barked out an angry curse but didn’t stop while the grip on my neck tightened even more.

I fought the instinct to claw at his arm. I needed to hit him somewhere that would make him loosen his hold. His groin. His knee. I dropped my mouth, sinking my teeth into the bare arm with its rows of tattoos. I drew blood. Salty. Appalling. As the man cursed in Spanish, I used my elbows and heels in unison to strike at him.

It was futile. The solid mass continued pushing into my windpipe. Dark blended in with the white spots. My body was shrieking from the impact and the lack of oxygen. Wet lips hit my ear, and my entire being shuddered as his dark voice muttered, “Stop fighting, chiquita. It will only be worse for you.”

I would not let these men take Addy. I would not.

Blackness filled my eyes as my captor hauled me into the kitchen and down the steps into the living room.

“I can’t find her! The little bitch is nowhere.” The man with the pistol spat as he stormed back into the room. A hint of relief washed over me. Addy was an award-winning hider.

Outside, I heard the clear ring of a car door crashing closed and Ryder’s voice screaming my name. New fear swelled through me. For him. For Addy. For all of us.

Where the hell was the team watching us?

“We need to go,” the man choking me said. My vision had disappeared with what felt like my last breath. “We’ll take this one with us and come back for the other.”

As he dragged my body toward the entryway, I knew I had one last shot at freeing myself, so I let myself go limp, as if I’d passed out. It loosened his grip, and as soon as it did, I used all my strength to jam my heel into the top of his foot before twisting around to thrust my fist into his groin. I was rewarded with a pained grunt.

The front door crashed into the wall.

Sirens blared in the distance.

“Let her go!” Ryder’s voice trembled with fury.

Instead of hauling me with him, the giant surprised me by picking me up and tossing me in the air as if I were nothing but a rag doll. I prepared for the harsh pain of hitting the cold tile, but instead, warm arms caught me.

“Where’s my daughter?” Ryder’s scream was a tormented roar.

I couldn’t talk to reassure him she was hiding. I couldn’t even see him over the black in my eyes as my lungs gasped.

A gunshot echoed through the house, and I barely had time to fear it was aimed at us before the sound of glass shattering crashed through the room.

I turned my head in the direction of the living room and the sound. My vision was blurry, as if looking through water, hazy and unclear, but I saw the giant who’d been holding me leap through a broken window. He landed with a roll on the rain-soaked leaves and took off running.

“There’s another one!” My voice was hoarse and raspy as I shouted at Ryder. “Go! Make sure he doesn’t have Addy!”

Ryder’s blurred face was a mask of anger and fear as he set me down and whirled down the hall, screaming Addy’s name.

Outside, vehicles came screeching into the driveway with their sirens still blaring.

Boots pounding on the tile had me jerking my head around to see two of Maddox’s deputies racing into the house with their guns drawn.

“One of them went that way!” I had to use the force of a scream to get the words out as I pointed to the broken window.

The officers followed the beast out the window, sprinting into the woods and relaying their position into their radios.

Ryder came back, face panicked. “There’s no one here. But I can’t find Addy!”

Desperation and heartache rang through every word.

I wobbled as I stood and forced air into my lungs so I could say, “She was in the kitchen when I told her to hide.”

With a mere glance at the empty kitchen, Ryder darted down the spiral staircase to the basement, calling her name, shouting for her to come out, that it was safe.

But it wasn’t. It wasn’t safe. We’d been so stupid, so ridiculous, thinking we could guard her here. That we could keep her safe in a house made of glass with a handful of officers taking patrol. God, I was such an idiot. The tears that filled my eyes were angry ones. Fury that was all self-directed. What had I been thinking?

I’d spent days getting to know them, as if I was on some reality TV dating show instead of doing my job.

My phone rang, vibrating in my pocket, but I couldn’t answer it yet, not until we found Addy.

I used the wall to hold myself up. The world spun, but I forced myself toward the kitchen on legs that trembled with every step. Where would she hide? Where?

I propped myself up on the walls and then the counters, flinging open cupboards.

Ryder’s voice calling for his daughter screamed heartache and sorrow. It slid inside my chest like a knife. I’d done this. I’d caused him this grief.

When I got to the pantry, I jerked it open and heard a rustle that brought a spike of relief so hard and so strong it brought the black spots back to my eyes.

“Addy,” I said gently, my voice barely audible. “It’s me. It’s okay.”

From a bottom shelf, a bulk-sized box of paper towels was pushed aside, and two terrified eyes found mine. Tears rushed over my lashes.

“Thank God! Thank God!” I whispered.

I held out my hand as Ryder’s feet pounded up the staircase, still calling her name. Addy slid tiny fingers into mine, and I’d just pulled her out of the pantry and into my arms as Ryder found us.

“Addy!” Tortured relief pounded through the syllables, stabbing me as much as it soothed.

He didn’t yank his child from my embrace. Instead, he wrapped us both in a hug, squeezing tight, holding us with firm bands of muscle and love. Emotions wafted over us that I didn’t know what to do with but felt myself respond to anyway.

“I got you. I got you both. You’re okay. You’re okay!” It was murmured as if he was still trying to believe it himself. We stayed that way for several seconds before he loosened his hold enough to look down, first into my face and then into Addy’s terrified one.

“Are you hurt? Let me see.”

When he stepped away to squat down in front of his daughter, running hands along her arms, I felt the loss of his touch in every part of me. Not just the physical loss of his warmth and strength but the loss of his affection that had lodged deep in my soul. How could he ever forgive me? I’d almost allowed them to take her.

The dark spots threatened again.

The adrenaline rush that had held me up while fighting deserted me.

My knees hit the ground. I tried to catch myself. I tried to stop, but as the blackness enveloped me and I crumbled, the only thing I registered was Ryder calling my name.

? ? ?

I came to, lying on a bed that smelled like Ryder—hay and spice and soap mixing together in a strangely enticing way. My eyelids felt heavy, but as I forced them open, I was greeted with a pair of vivid blue eyes, the deep color of the sky right before the sun completely disappeared. Except, instead of holding the peace and calm of dusk, the gaze he sent me was tormented.

Ryder’s large palm cupped my cheek. “You’re awake. Thank God.”

I tried to move, tried to sit up, and my entire being objected.

“Don’t even think of getting up. McKenna’s on her way to check you out.”

“Addy!” My voice was raspy and harsh.

A little body curled into me from the other side, and I removed my gaze from Ryder’s concerned one to find the little girl on the bed next to me. Her eyes were full of the same worry as her father’s.

I hugged her to me, muttering, “I got you,” in my broken voice.

Except, it wasn’t true. I’d let her down.

I’d let them both down.

Ryder’s face shuttered. He tucked his emotions behind a wall that made him look decidedly like Addy when she blanked out. I glanced around, and it took me a minute longer than it should have to realize we were in Ryder’s bed.

“Did they catch them?” I asked.

“Darlin’, stop talking until you’re checked out.” It was a growl that tolerated no argument, and I didn’t have the strength to fight it. Not yet.

The door behind Ryder opened, and his brother entered in a suit similar to the one Ryder was wearing. They’d been at the funeral. Why had Ryder come home early? Thank God he had.

“They’re gone,” Maddox said. “Looks like they had two ATVs parked down by the creek.”

“Where the fuck was the patrol?” Ryder demanded.

“Bruce was knocked out at the bridge. Don’t know where Enrique is.”

Ryder’s jaw flexed, anger simmering through him that I could no longer say wasn’t justified. I still didn’t want to doubt Enrique, but this was the second time he hadn’t been around and the house had been broken into.

We shouldn’t have stayed after the first.

We should have left.

I’d been lulled into placidity. Lulled by lust and the sweetness of a little girl.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Hadn’t Jason Bourne’s love for Marie gotten her killed in the movies? Hadn’t it almost gotten him killed too?

I sat up, squirming in my pocket for my phone. When it wasn’t there, I glanced around.

“No phone. No talking. Not until you get checked out,” Ryder grunted.

“I need to call Leland and the team.”

“Stop talking!” he all but yelled.

Addy flinched next to me, and Ryder was instantly remorseful.

“Addy,” he said softly. “Can you go with Uncle Maddox? He’s going to help you pack a few things to take with you.”

Her face fell before the blank look she’d held so often after I’d found her in the hotel room returned to her face. It had slid away over the last few days because she’d felt safe here. She’d unpacked her things and stayed unpacked. She’d laughed and talked. Tears blurred my vision. I hadn’t kept my promises to her.

As if reading her reaction just as I did, Ryder’s voice was gentle when he said, “It’s just for a few days, sweetheart. Just until we put this behind us for good. You’ll be back. You are going to be safe here with me. I swear on all I love that I will make that statement true.” I felt the force of it in every fiber of my being. He would do anything to keep her safe. If I could feel it in my cynical adult body, I hoped Addy did as well.

Maddox extended his hand, and Addy took it, scooting down to the end of the bed so she didn’t have to climb over me. When they’d gotten to the door, Addy turned back to us. It looked like she wanted to say something but didn’t. Instead, her head and shoulders dropped, and she let Maddox lead her from the room.

The tears I’d been fighting poured over my cheeks.

Ryder turned to face me, and I easily read the anger and determination written there. But he ran a gentle finger over my tears as they fell, wiping at them.

“Thank you,” he said softly, “for making sure they didn’t take her.”

I shook my head, and my ears rang, and my vision blurred.

“They would have gotten her, Ryder. If you hadn’t shown up…” I was humiliated by my inability to defend myself. To defend Addy. Maybe it was time to stop pretending I was some female James Bond and sit down behind the computer with Rory. “My team—”

“Please stop talking, darlin’. Please let McK check you out first. Your phone was ringing, so I answered it. Even if I hadn’t shown up, Rory had already called for backup. She said something about my cameras being offline and that she wouldn’t apologize for not waiting the full two minutes when she’d seen that.”

I was glad she hadn’t. Glad she’d listened to the instincts that had me hiring her in the first place.

“I gave her what information I could,” Ryder continued. “She knows you and Addy are here and relatively safe. She knows you’ve been injured and that McKenna is coming to check you out.”

“I’m so sorry…” A sob escaped. “I’ve been so stupid.”

Instead of being angry, instead of storming away from me as I felt he should, Ryder did the opposite. He pulled me to him, holding tight, and whispered soothing words into my hair. The sweetness of it undid me further, and I let tears of fury and frustration and mortification fall. I let him hold me up in a way I hadn’t let anyone do in so long I’d almost forgotten what it felt like to be soothed.