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Chapter 41

MELODY

Saturday

John Levine works swiftly.

I talked to him last night, and he delivered his first report.

I go over it with guilt.

Jax wouldn't like this. He'd lift an eyebrow at me and ask me to grow up.

None of this would've happened had we had a normal relationship.

I needed to swallow the last drop of bitterness before changing.At this point,the pressure of getting it right is gone, and I rely on intuition.

Whatever the damn thing says is what I'm doing.

For now, I read the information.

Jax London is the oldest son in a family of three children. Two boys and a girl.

His parents are divorced.

Tim London, his father, is a successful lawyer with a troubled past.Before becoming an attorney, he had problems with the law. He had never been convicted. He is known for having a shorttemper andbeingreckless with his money, and Igather he isnot a great domestic partner.

Despite all that, he remarried. He has a nice house with a white picket fence–I have a picture of it—on Long Island. He also has two kids with his new wife, and they are both infants.

The kids are cute, and the man looks nothing like Jax.

I read the information before reviewing Jax's pictures as a teen and high school senior. And then his mugshot when he was booked.And then a current picture.

The transformation is striking.

He went from a carefree, grinning teen to a broody adult. Much bigger, his featuresmorechiseled.

His eyes have lost their innocence and gained a lot of power.He is a man with secrets. An unpredictable man.

He won't pamper me––although he might––yet he won't let me down either.

He is the man he claims to be.

Curious, I move my eyes down the text and learn why he'd been incarcerated. An altercation with his father had turned violent, and he got arrested.

His father filed charges. Jax pleaded guilty and spent two years in prison before getting out on parole.

Other than that he's never hadas much asan unpaid parking ticket on his record, and he worked several jobs before going to jail.

Sighing, I stare blankly at the document before regaining my focus and perusing the rest of it.

He has a younger brother, Noah.

And a younger sister, Rylee.

A family picture taken before Jax went to jail shows the three siblings with a brunette woman.

Jax looks like her. He has the same green eyes and sensual lips. She's a beautiful woman with a grin on her face, and her kids look happy.

I quickly realize that himhitting on me required abigleap of faith, and he did it under the pressure of what he had known about his parents' domestic life.

I failed miserably with my back and forth.

I acted like a spoiled brat, and he indulged me for a while before it became impossible.

The age gap made me blind to who he was.

My fears that he wouldn't fit into my world proved to be unsubstantiated and irrelevant in the end.

I don't even fit into my world sometimes, and most of the time, it doesn't matter whether I door I don't.

Jax London has forged a way into my life and heart, and then he left.

Tears pool in my eyes as I look athimand understand him for the first time.

Could he have given me the information? Yes, of course. But it would've fallen on deaf ears.

We get everything we need… when we're ready.

I wasn't ready, and he knew it. That's why he left. It was out of his hands, wasn't it?

Quietly, I welcome my new emotions.

It feels good to gain some clarity.

I put the phone down and lean back against the couchwhen it buzzes again. I perk up,my eyes shiftingto the window before sliding to my phone.

My rental car is here.

Swallowing back my disappointment, I grab my purse, phone, and apartment keys and exit my place.

MELODY

I don't havea set plan.

I just need to leave Manhattan and drive aimlessly for a while.

The weather is perfect, with a blue sky, crisp air, and trees about to get new leaves. I initially head to Long Island before reaching Great Neck, changing my mind, and driving to Queens.

My hair is pulled tight into a ponytail, and my sunglasses, T-shirt, flat shoes, and capri pants conceal most of me, and hopefully, my identity.

Unless someone is on my tail, which I doubt it, no one knows this is me.I've driven for more than an hour and no one has followed me, so when I roll my car down Jax's street, I'mconfident this is working.

You can tell it's Saturday asnot manypeople are on the street.

Not far from here, a commercial area with stores and restaurants attracts plenty of people on the weekends.

Ifnot, they're in their backyards or at the park.The temperature is pleasant enough to spend time outside.

I roll my ride to a stop under a tree, my eyes trained on Jax's place. I turn off the engine and move my eyes to the driveway.

The place is well-kept andclean, and the shutters are down.He'snot home. I didn't expect him to be here. I just wanted to pass through his space, gather more clues, and bask in his other life.

This is a nice place in Queens—quiet, homey, wonderful. I look down at my phone. The other address is not far from here. Reluctantly, I turn on the engine and swerve away, sliding past his driveway before making a left turn and leaving his place behind.

Minutes later, I enter a different street with more pedestrians. Moms pushing strollers, couples walking their dogs, and kids on bicycles moving up and down the sidewalks under their parents' eyes.

I notice the house I'm looking for.

It's small and cozy, an assortment of balloons fluttering in the breeze. The words painted across them clue me in.

It's his sister's birthday.

A car pulls up in front of the house, and teenagers climb out. I steer my ride and halt under a tree, hoping to remain unnoticed.

More vehicles arrive, voices drifting from behind the house.

I spot Rylee at the top of the stairs. She wears a white T-shirt, a blue sweater, jeans, and pinksportsshoes. Her hair is long and curly, and her eyes sparkle with life.

She greets her friends and collects her gifts with the help of her mother.

I witness everything with a kernel of envy.

Except for holidays, my sister and I rarely spend time with my parents or each other.She has a family, and I have a job––I've always said to myself.

Seemingly, I've lost more than the opportunity to have a life outside my job. I've also lost the opportunity to have a tight-knit family.

I feed on the scenes in front of me, something telling me Jax can't be far. He's either in the house or about to show up. There's no way he'll be a no-show.

It's a big, loud party with flowers and balloons, teenagers and adults.

My heartskip beatswhen a dark sports car with racing stripes inches closer to the house coming from the other end of the street.

I'm losing it a little.

My heart is racing, butterflies swirling in my stomach, and sweat coating my palms.

My sunglasses slide from the sweat and I tip them down even moretosee them better.

No one knows the woman in the compact car is me.

When he pulls into the driveway, I can't breathe.

Both doors slide open, and his brother climbs out.

When Jax moves out of the driver's seat, I feel physically sick.

It's like he's locked me outside his world and tossed the key away. I could walk to him right now, and he would talk to me. I know he would. Perhaps he'd even smile.

Maybe he'd introduce me to his family as his… friend. And then I'd get the hint and say goodbye, leaving with my tail between my legs.

I lost my power over him, and I'm a queen without a king.

He leisurely wraps his muscular arm around his brother's shoulders, and Noah gives him a full-mouth grin.

Rylee meets the boys at the bottom of the stairs and hugs Jax. He holds the back of her hair like he used toholdmine, and they talk to each other and their mother, who coordinates the event.

I expect them to enter the house or stroll to the backyard when Jax looks up the road as if waiting for someone, and I get a rush of adrenaline.

A car moves down the road and signals to a stop before the driver parks it next to Jax's car.

A few young men, a woman, and an older gentleman climb out.

Jax's mother greets the older man while Jax and the younger men greet each other.

His mother invites everybodyinthe house before inching closer to the young brunette.

The woman's feet are pinned to the ground while she stares at Jax, fascinated.

She is shorter than me, and her hair is dark and long like Jax's sister, yet her gestures are demure.

She's not a teenager. She is close to his age and his motherintroducesher tohim.

A knife falls through my heart. It doesn't take an Aretha Stenson to see how much his mother likes this woman.Jax flashes a smile, his eyescurious,warm, his hand extended.

Their fingers connect,andthe blade in my heart twists, making me drown inregrets.

I deserve every bit of pain.

My eyes stay on his face while he gives her his undivided attention.

She is lost when he speaks to her, and he smiles, flattered.

Why wouldn't he be?

Her hourglass figure could stop traffic. She's pure, sincere, and ready forhimin a way I couldn't be.

And maybe this is the girl his mother would like to have as her daughter-in-law.And maybethis is also life offering him something better than me.

Their hands disconnect, and they all walk as a group in the house while I absently turn on the engine and leave the area as if running away from a cataclysmic event.

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