69. Chapter 69

Chapter sixty-nine

U nsurprisingly, Haven hadn't been able to sleep. The beginning of her coronation was in less than seven hours and all she could think about was Delroys words right before they'd left the crown regents office. Another puzzling thing that she hadn't been able to get out of her head was the fact that the office had been trashed. She knew Niks father would never normally keep it that way, he was much too controlling and vain for that, but that meant someone had come into his office and done that on purpose.

Her first guess had been that the crown regent did it before he took off, possibly to throw them off the trail of his plans, whatever they may be. But if that was the case then why didn't he take the papers? Why would he trash the office but leave them behind? Were there more that had been taken? Her other guess was that someone knew the crown regent was planning something and had been looking for proof or details about his plans and simply took the opportunity while everyone was away to break into the office and look around. But still, why trash the office? Unless they had known the crown regent would not be coming back so they hadn't had to worry about covering their tracks.

The whole thing gave Haven a headache which led to her getting up, gathering a snack and a glass of water, lighting a candle with her magic, placing it on the nightstand beside her bed and pulling out her mothers diary.

She kept it tucked away under her pillows, not a great hiding spot but knowing it was there helped her feel closer to her mom.

Haven had been mindlessly reading her mothers words for hours, trying to calm her mind enough that she could rest. Most of the entries were about one of two things, Havens father or the continuing, eventually failing, war efforts. Havens mother had messily scribbled all sorts of notes about war strategies and ideas to help tip the scales towards the favor of the fae. Her mothers entries progressively became more hopeless as time passed.

It all came down to one thing, the humans had so many more warriors than the fae did. Fae human relations had been going downhill long before the war started. In addition to common fertility problems making it hard for fae to reproduce, every so often fae would disappear. These things meant that their population had slowly but steadily been decreasing for years.

Havens mother wrote a passage about how she suspected the humans had been planning for war long before the fae were even able to guess. She also surmised that they were likely responsible for the fae that went missing.

Morana went on and on about their losing efforts and about the terror they were all feeling. It was enough to make Haven decide to put the journal away and go back to trying to get some sleep as soon as she finished the entry she was currently involved in. There were only a few entries left before the journal ended and as much as Haven wanted to know anything and everything about her mothers time as a powerful fae queen, this was downright depressing.

Before she could stop herself, Haven began the entry after the one she planned to finish with. She was glad she did when she read how it began,

We might finally have something to hope for.

Her mothers hopeful and flowy handwriting was back. Haven was glad to see it after pages of depressive and upsetting entries. Haven took a deep breath and let herself reset after those last couple of harsh pages before continuing to read.

Further into the entry, Haven could see exactly what had given her mother, and apparently every other war torn fae some hope,

March 15th 1876,

We might finally have something to hope for.

During todays war council a viable solution to our failing war efforts might have finally been proposed. Not everyone is entirely keen on the idea, myself included, but if it saves our people and gives us the ability to have a future then maybe the dangers are worth it.

The king from Dremid has been in contact with an old magic witch that has given him a spell that might allow us to create an entirely new realm, a purely fae realm. One untouched by humans. This could be the answer so many have been looking for, the solution to our biggest and most present problem .

Unfortunately, it comes with many risks. Risks I'm not certain I am willing to take. Neither is every other ruler but if we don't do something quickly we and our people are likely to perish sooner rather than later.

The spell requires a very large amount of magic and sacrifice from its casters which is why the old witch insisted it had to be performed by royals. Performing this spell will take the majority of the magic from the fae that cast the spell. In addition, the casters will not be able to reside in the new realm with their people.

The Dremid king has an answer for this of course. He has proposed that we sacrifice our power and have our children take our places as king or queen of the respected kingdoms once the new realm is created. Without us.

Of course the Dremid king has no issue with this. He's got five children and another on the way.

Something I'm not sure I'll ever experience.

It's not that I disagree with his idea, I actually am rather impressed. It's just that, as of now, I have no children to take over for me. Neither does Robert, I wonder how he feels about all of this. I haven't gotten to speak with him since the meeting. At which he did not say anything to indicate his feelings on the subject.

For as long as I have lived my courses have always been irregular, not the every six months that most fae women experience. In addition, Robert and I have been together for months now and not once have we used any magics to prevent pregnancy. I'm also certain he noticed the disappointment on my face a few weeks ago when my courses showed up in the middle of the night. He held me extra tight afterwards and I love him for it. As sad as I might be about the possibility of never having children, I cannot allow it to sway my decision about this spell. I know we will be able to come up with something in the interim to fix the issue that not all of us rulers have children so I suppose I need to put that aside for now.

It will take all seven royals to pull this off so all seven of us have to agree. All but one of my council members are entirely for this solution even though they know it means they will be leaving me.. Evan is the only one who disagrees and while I do care about him, his feelings are not something I can take into account at this point. Besides, I am fairly sure that the only reason he is against this plan is because it separates us. Leaving me in the human world with Robert, a fae he hates. Robert is a good man, Evan has no reason to dislike him except that he has something Evan wants.

I have long since ignored Evans feelings which is something I'm not proud to admit but he is a good friend and counselor to me and I would hate to hurt his feelings. However, there is a tightness in my gut that says that if we do go through with this, I won't be sending Evan into the fae world without hearing something from him about how he feels towards me. I am not looking forward to that moment.

I need to talk with Robert and find out his opinion about everything. I trust him more than I've ever trusted anyone. I think that's what I will do now, go and find Robert where he is staying in the south tower and tell him about my feelings and see what he makes of them.

-Morana Montalli

Haven flipped the page, finding that that was the very last entry. There were still pages left in the journal but they were all blank, something she definitely had not been expecting. There was nothing about her mothers talk with her father or what happened with Evan. It was clear that Evan was likely in love with her mother and she wondered what became of him once the royals created the fae realm and journeyed into their new world.

As far as she knew, none of the current council members were named Evan. Seeing as the current members were still mostly the same, save for a few that had been replaced due to deaths that had been heavily recorded, she didn't know what to make of the whole Evan issue. She supposed that since all of that happened in the past, it didn't matter what happened to her mothers previous council member. Haven had to focus on the here and now.

A tear rolled down Havens cheek at the thought of no more new words from her mother. She missed her horribly. It didn't help that she never got a response to the letter she had sent out in the beginning of this whole thing.

Haven did her best to fight off more tears, being able to read her moms words had helped Haven get through the homesickness and loneliness she had been pretending wasn't bothering her.

Deciding to call it a night, Haven closed the journal and wrapped the small leather band around it before tucking it away. She leaned over, blowing out the candle she had been using to read before sliding down in bed and closing her eyes.

Finishing the diary, while sad, had brought Haven a measure of peace. She believed in her heart that she'd see her mother again someday and she couldn't wait to tell her all about everything she'd learned during her time in the fae realm. Maybe she should try to send her mother another letter, she thought. Haven hoped her mother would be proud of the woman she was becoming, the fae she was becoming, the Queen she was becoming. Gods knew Haven was trying to be proud of herself.