67. Chapter 67

Chapter sixty-seven

T he sound of birds chirping woke Haven. Her balcony doors were propped wide open, letting in the soft morning breeze.

"Oh good you're awake!" Rea exclaimed, startling Haven. Rea was setting out breakfast on the foot of Havens bed.

"I wanted to let you sleep for as long as possible but you also need to get a shower before you head to training so it's good that you woke when you did."

The reminder of training snapped Haven out of her groggy, sleep induced stupor.

"What are you doing here?" She asked Astrea. She could tell the question hurt her friend but at present, Haven didn't really care. Mornings and so little sleep always made her grumpy.

"I wanted to make sure you were alright after everything that happened." Nerves were written across Astreas face. Haven watched her pick at her nails, a typical sign of anxiety. Haven immediately came to a decision, she wasn't one hundred percent okay with her friends but at least with Astrea she could pretend. After all, she was pissed at her the least out of everyone. Nik slept with her knowing he'd been lying and likely planning his escape and Roman was the one that actually poisoned her and lied to her the most seeing as he'd infiltrated her school with the sole purpose of making sure she made it into the fae realm.

"I'm okay" She assured Rea, "How about we have breakfast and you can tell me about my coronation dress. I hear it's stunning"

***

Sliding on tall boots over the thick material of her training pants, Haven stood from the edge of her bed and made her way through the bedroom door. The shower she had taken before getting dressed helped her feel immensely better. Her emotions might be all over the place but at least she was clean. Her braid hung down her back as she walked. She'd done her best to keep it out of the shower spray since she didn't usually wash her hair everyday but some of it had gotten wet. Unfortunately they did not have blow dryers in the fae realm, although she assumed someone with air magic could do something similar.

Tasha was waiting at her usual spot on the castle grounds, like today wasn't any different. But it was. By this time tomorrow, she'd be standing in front of the people of Drailia, promising to be a fair and just ruler. By this time tomorrow, she'd have a proper crown to go with the queen title.

"You're late," Tasha told her as Haven approached.

"I know, I'm sorry. I got caught up in the shower. I didn't realize how late it was getting."

Tasha nodded, "Well apparently her highness needs a pocket watch. Lest she be late again."

"It won't happen again" Haven assured Tasha

"It better not, and don't go thinking I'm going to treat you any differently now that you are the queen. You're still my student."

Thank fuck for that , Haven thought. She didn't know how much more she could take of people treating her differently. Almost everyone she'd passed on the way out here had stopped and bowed fully when they saw her. Haven didn't know what to say to that so whenever it happened she'd just kept walking.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Haven smiled

Tasha nodded, "Alright then, let's get to work"

Tasha took off at a fast paced jog. Haven had gotten used to the exercises, the work with weapons, hand to hand combat and even the magic exercises but she still hadn't gotten used to the running. She could, at least, complete the laps without doubling over but it was still her least favorite portion of her sessions with Tasha.

Their laps took them round and round the castle, all over the grounds and finally back to where they started. Unfortunately, more fae had bowed when they saw Haven running.

"That's going to take some getting used to." Haven commented when they finally came to a stop and grabbed their waters.

After taking down a large gulp Tasha told her ,

"You will get used to it. Eventually you might even come to like it, it is a show of respect. It also could calm down after a while. It all depends on what kind of ruler you are."

"What do you mean?"

Tasha looked at her curiously before explaining,

"Normally the bowing slows down as people get used to you. Servants will smile and nod their heads instead of stopping to bow. Especially here in your home castle where you'll get to know most everyone. Of course, in lands beyond and other kingdoms, things like that will continue simply because they do not personally know you and want to show you the respect your position demands. However, if you become a ruler people fear rather than respect, the bowing will never stop because technically it is law to bow whenever you see a ruler and no one wants to be punished for disobeying."

Tashas word gave Haven some hope about the awkward bows ending after awhile but another thing was bothering her,

"I feel like a fraud." Haven could barely speak the words. She'd thought them a few times but never voiced them aloud, they spoke to her deepest insecurities. She wouldn't have said anything if not for the fact that she felt like Tasha would never tell anyone and may even be able to help calm her uneasy thoughts.

"What do you mean?" Tasha spoke softly, sensing the way she felt about the subject.

"I mean, I didn't grow up here. I haven't even been here six months and I already have the crown. Sometimes I don't even feel like I belong here. Just a moment ago you talked about knowing the workers in the castle but I barely know anyone here! I can't name the fae that makes the food or that cleans the halls. How am I supposed to lead them if I don't even know them?"

Tasha didn't skip a beat before asking,

"Do you feel like you're not cut out for the position? That you wouldn't be able to lead your people and take care of them?"

"No" Haven responded. It wasn't that she didn't feel like she would do a good job as queen, she simply second guessed whether she was the right person for the role.

"But I'm from the human world. I grew up human. Just because I was suddenly cast into the body of a fae does not mean I am one." A tear rolled down Havens cheek as she talked. In the past she had considered talking about it with Nik. Astrea always saw the good in her, she never seemed to doubt or question her so Haven worried she wouldn't see where Haven was coming from. Nik however, had similar feelings of his own. Haven could hear it in the way he talked whenever his title was brought up, she could see it in the glares he sent towards his father. It had made her want to seek comfort with Nik. She wouldn't be able to do that now that Nik was missing.

Pushing those thoughts from her mind, Haven met Tashas stare, now was not the time to be thinking about Nik. It wouldn't help anything, the only thing thinking about Nik would do was bring tears to her eyes. She would get an update from Delroy this afternoon. Haven could only hope he'd have good news to share.

"Haven I am only going to tell you this once so I need you to listen and listen well, you are your mothers daughter, your fathers daughter. They were some of the most powerful rulers that ever lived and not only were they powerful, they were loved. Even in times of war, everyone respected your parents, they trusted them and knew they'd take care of them no matter the cost to themselves. I see both of them in you every single day. You have the makings to become one of the greatest fae to ever live if you only move past your doubts and own up to who you truly are. A Queen, and not just any queen, A Fae Queen."

Tashas words filled Haven with confidence as they washed over her. Tasha was right and in the back of her mind, she'd known that. It didn't matter that she'd grown up in another realm, it didn't matter that she hadn't been training her whole life. When Haven looked deep inside herself, she found what had been there all along, power. Power and the ability to use it to make a difference for her people, a good and true difference.

Haven straightened her shoulders, held her head high and assured herself that she was exactly where she belonged. She met Tashas eyes, doing her best to project as much confidence as she could muster. Haven knew that Tasha had seen the change in Haven when Tasha said,

"Good, now let's get to work."