57. Chapter 57

Chapter fifty-seven

S hock and confusion nearly brought Haven to her knees. In her mind, there was no possible way Roman was the one that poisoned her, he had come into the fae realm at the same time she did and her father died years before that. Unless that was all more lies as well.

"Explain!" She snapped.

"I joined Astreas group when I was only thirteen. I'm originally from Norwood but I came to Drailia often as a child. Even as a young fae I could see the evil in Niks father, it polluted the air around him. My thirteenth birthday was my first in the fae realm, having stumbled here only months before. The crown regent invited my family to the castle here in Drailia to celebrate since I came through the portal here. Of course we obliged, for no reason other than we did not want to anger him. My older sister came with me as I was too young to go by myself. Her name was Nada. During the party she left me entertaining myself with some of the other kids. Hours passed before I noticed Nadas prolonged disappearance. As soon as I did, I grabbed my training sword and went looking,"

Roman paused, Haven could see the horror on his face as he relived old and clearly painful memories.

"I found her strangled and stuffed in a storage closet. I still remember the way her lifeless eyes stared back at me. Her dress had been rucked up around her waist, I could smell what happened to her and who had done it. I immediately went after him, only to be caught by a council member. I frantically explained what happened, they sent word to my kingdom and had me put on the next ship home. I returned with one less sister and one seat closer to the throne.

It wasn't until later that I found out they covered the entire thing up. A few weeks after that happened I found a note in my room from the leader of the rebels, telling me the council member I had spoken to was deep in the crown regents pocket. They hadn't asked anything of me, simply wanting to explain what happened and who they were. I sent a letter back asking to join their cause and the rest is history."

Roman finished explaining, not making a move to wipe the tears from his cheeks. Haven was decidedly less angry after hearing what he had to say but was definitely still confused.

"I'm sorry that happened to you but I don't understand how that led to you sneaking into the human world to poison me."

Roman nodded. Steeling himself, he wiped away his tears and began to explain,

"From that day forward, I worked with the rebels. There wasn't much I could do from another kingdom and so young but I did what I could. I stored important things away from prying eyes, meeting up with other rebels in the shadows to thwart the crown regent. I helped make plans and often went into the human realm to spy when needed. Years later when we discovered his plans to go after you, everyone knew what needed to be done.

I volunteered myself for the job, they needed someone who could be sneaky and unlikely to be recognized if any of the crown regents goons were watching. As I had not officially been back to Drailia since I found my sister dead, I felt I was the perfect candidate and everyone agreed. Too many of the rebels live here and are around him often so they would be easily discovered.

After everything played out, things calmed down considerably. The crown regent couldn't do anything more with so many eyes on him so we decided it was time to lay low. We did that for almost a year before we got wind of some new plans the crown regent had been preparing. We knew it was time to bring you in. A few well placed whispers had the senior trip moved to the mountains where there was a portal into our realm, I joined your school to help nudge you along if you needed it and everything worked out perfectly. You came here and began training to take over as queen. Admittedly, there have been some bumps along the way but we've managed to work most of them out. I'm sorry we couldn't save your father. There was a choice to be made and given the chance, I'd do it over again."

Romans eyes darted between the ground and Havens face, waiting to see what she would do. Would she yell, cry, scream? Not even Haven herself could answer that. She didn't know what she was feeling, she knew she was angry at her friends for keeping all of this from her. She knew she was sad for her father, sad for Romans family and sad for everyone else that had suffered at the hands of the crown regent. In addition, Haven felt betrayed, like she could no longer trust that the friendships they built were true. It was going to take her some time to get over that.

As fae were immortal, she had plenty.

***

After telling her friends she needed some time and that they needed to leave before she started yelling, Haven once again found herself in the depths of the library. She decided to skip her evening lessons with Elanor, not wanting to waste her tutors' time seeing as she couldn't seem to focus on much of anything. She would, at least, do her very kind and sometimes strict teacher the courtesy of explaining why she would be missing out.

Wandering through the stacks to kill time before her tutor showed up, Havens mind whirled with everything that had come to light. Could she blame her friends for what they did? Haven wanted to, she wanted to be furious with them. After all, they were partially the reason her father was killed. Though, in her mind, Haven knew the main reason behind her fathers death would be standing at her wedding tonight as the father of the groom. That fact didn't keep her from feeling the need to track down Astrea and Roman for no reason other than to yell at them for the pain they caused. Haven told herself to put everything out of her mind until after tonight. After her wedding she could get some rest, settle down, and then try to figure out a way to forgive her friends.

If she could make it through the exhausting events of today along with whatever events unfolded by midnight tonight then Haven supposed she could make it through just about anything this realm had to throw at her.

Haven passed the large painting of her parents, her heart tugging at the memory of being here with Astrea. Before she could get too lost down the rabbit hole of her thoughts, Haven tore herself out of her mind and moved away. An unknown magic tugged at her chest, keeping her rooted to the spot a few feet away from the painting. Words echoed in her mind, the soft lyrics of a lullaby her mother used to sing to her, the humming she used to do when working in the garden, the feeling of being rocked to sleep when she was little.

The feeling of magic pressed against her skin. This magic was not coming from Haven, she could feel her own locked inside her. Haven's breathing stalled as she recognized who this magic belonged to. It was her mothers. She couldn't visually see the magic but she could feel its imprint beneath the surface. It was pulling her in, tempting her closer to the painting.

Haven reached out and ran a finger down the wood frame. Something twinged inside her, begging her to continue. Lifting the bottom right edge, a loud creak echoed through the entirely silent library as the painting swung forward. It appeared to be hinged on its left side, allowing it to remain attached to the wall while also offering Haven a view of the back.

Nothing but thin, dark brown paper. There were no special words or symbols etched into the paper. Nothing telling her why her mothers magic had reached out and practically snatched her. Just as Haven was about to push the painting back where it belonged on the wall, she spotted something. There was a tear at the edge of the paper in the far corner, like someone had peeled it back.

Reaching out to tear a small section of paper, Haven held in a gasp. The paper didn't even need to be torn, lifting easily and showing her what was hidden between it and the painting.

A small brown leather notebook sat wedged between the canvas and the paper backing. It was slightly weathered from age but showed no signs of dust or decay. Haven collected it in her hands, closing the painting back against the wall before examining the notebook. The cover was blank, nothing more than simple brown leather with thick string made into x's on its side to bind the pages together. A skinny and long leather strip wrapped around the notebook, keeping it from falling open.

Haven quickly undid the strap and peered at the first page. She almost dropped the book in shock when she read what was written in black ink on the title page.

This wasn't just any notebook, it was a diary. The diary Binah had told her about. Haven finally understood what the older fae meant in her letter when she said that this might help explain some things. Because this wasn't just any diary, it was her mothers diary.