Chapter 39

39

After the book club ladies had dispersed on a blustery November evening, Dasha hung back, a pensive expression on her face. Jana had noticed she hadn't engaged as much as she usually did in the meetings; it was obvious she had something on her mind.

‘How are you and the family?' asked Jana, sitting back down on a stool, indicating she had time for her friend although she was exhausted after a day stitching boots.

Dasha shrugged and sat too. ‘You know, fed up, like all of us. I hate handing over my daughter to my mother-in-law so that I can go to work in a factory canteen.'

‘How are you getting on with your mother-in-law these days? Any better?'

‘Worse, actually. And it would be nice if I had a husband that supported his wife rather than his mother.' Her tone was edged with bitterness. ‘Actually, Valtr and I are having problems; our marriage wasn't what it was…'

Jana put a hand on Dasha's knee. ‘Times are so hard at the moment that everyone is under terrible strain. '

Dasha shook her head. ‘It's not that. There's a distance between us…' She broke off and with a false laugh, added, ‘All these romantic books we're reading are not helping. Anyway, I better get off home now.'

As Jana locked up the bookshop and climbed the steps to the apartment, she considered Dasha's words. The recent exchanging of lighter romance novels was intended as escapism from the drudgery of the occupation, but maybe for some it ignited yearning, in Dasha's case, possible dissatisfaction. For Jana, reading love stories just highlighted everything she had lost. Her few brief encounters with Andrej would forever be embedded in her soul. And yet just after the one time they had made love, she'd pushed him away. Although she had told herself it was over, deep down, she'd believed she would always have the chance to relent if she chose.

She entered the apartment, eyes brimming with tears. He had been so courageous and selfless in his double role in the police force and yet she had never told him how brave she thought he was. He had told her he loved her and she'd not returned the words. If only she could tell him now the painful depth of her love for him. But for the first time, she faced the reality. Pain pierced through her, pinning her to the spot.

Nela was right.

Andrej would not be returning. Ever.