9. Thane

9

THANE

It takes everything I have not to go to Catalina. Not because I seek her presence, of course. More that I want to ensure she’s settling in well. There may also be a generous helping of guilt caused by Embry’s words rattling about in my head.

It’s almost a relief when I surface inside the keep a week later to find Ramanu waiting for me. They stand with their arms crossed and a frown pulling their lips down. “Explain why your human is behind a ward I can’t cross.”

A mistake. Not that I am eager to key my wards so a bargainer demon can get in, but Ramanu’s check-ins are part of the ongoing contract with Azazel.

I heft myself out of the water and stare them down. “I’ll rectify it by morning.”

“You’ll rectify it now,” they snap. “If I leave here without checking on her, you’re in violation of the contract.”

Damn the contract, damn this demon, and damn the woman I can’t stop thinking about.

I’ve successfully avoided going home for a week, but I can’t key the wards without being there in person. “Come along.”

“I’m not swimming, Thane.” Ramanu sneers delicately. “It’s beneath my dignity. I’ll meet you at the entrance.”

I could ask them to portal me as well, but I’ll need the trip to prepare myself. It would be strange if I didn’t escort Ramanu to Catalina, which means I’ll see her again. For the first time since I shoved her legs apart and tasted her pussy.

Desire shudders through me, and I do my best to mask the movement by slipping into the water. Goddess, her taste. The way she cried out my name when she came. If I didn’t know better, I’d think her a witch who put a spell on me.

In fact?.?.?.

The longer I swim, the more it makes sense. Yes, that must be it. People of our realm and those of the human realm don’t interact overmuch. The realms used to be easier to cross, but that hasn’t been the case for generations. Still, there were those trapped on the human side when the realms closed to each other. Their bloodlines run through select humans to this day. It’s entirely possible that some ancestor of Catalina’s dallied with someone magic. A siren, perhaps. It’d certainly fit with the way she draws me.

I swim to the surface near my home’s entrance. As promised, Ramanu stands on the small rock outcropping near the edge of the ward. They look vaguely uneasy to be surrounded by so much water with no shelter, which only serves to reinforce that they’re not a fool.

The sea holds any manner of dangers, even without me or one of my people dragging an enemy into the deep.

I surge out of the water and move to the ward. “I’ll need your blood.”

“Naturally.” They press their palm to one of their eye horns and then offer it to me.

I drag my fingers through the blood and then paint the symbol in the air in front of the ward. It’s keyed to me, so it allows me to modify it so Ramanu can enter. A few seconds later, the symbol flares a deep blue. “You may come and go as you please.” I glance at them. “As long as you behave yourself.”

“Darling, I never behave myself.” They give me a wolfish grin, but it falls away as quickly as it appears. They turn to the tower of rock in front of us. “Lonely place you have here. Why isn’t she in the keep?”

Admitting I might not have my people in line is admitting weakness. It’s one thing to do it with Embry, my heir. I certainly won’t be sharing those details with a bargainer demon. “Privacy.”

They snort. “If you say so.” Without an invitation, Ramanu steps forward and through the doorway into the tower that makes up my home.

I almost turn around and leave. If not for the fact that I can’t, I certainly would. There’s absolutely no relief in the fact I must follow Ramanu through the door, that the choice is taken from my hands. I must follow Ramanu to ensure this check-in goes as it should.

We find Catalina in one of the bedrooms. She’s still wearing the torn dress from last week, though she’s obviously made some attempt to clean it. She’s lying on a bed and twirling her hair around one finger. “So. You came back.”

Ramanu takes in the room in a single sweep and spins on their heel to shove me back out the door. I allow it. I’m too shocked to do anything else. They slam the door to the bedroom and snarl at me. “What the fuck is this, kraken?”

“I don’t?.?.?.” I clear my throat. “I don’t know.”

“This might not have triggered the contract, but don’t play the fool with me. This is not the living conditions Azazel expects for his humans and you know it.” They poke me in the chest with one long black claw. “I’m taking her out of here.”

“It’s fine.”

We both turn to find Catalina in the doorway. She looks paler than the last time I saw her, and there are dark circles beneath her eyes. She surveys us and shakes her head. “There’s no reason to fight about it. As you can see, I’m fine.”

“From what I can see, that’s not the word I would use.” Ramanu has softened their tone, though. They poke me one last time. “I’m going to speak with her, and if I don’t like what she says, you’re not going to like what I say.”

There’s no time to respond, and honestly, I’m not sure what I’d say. Catalina is so clearly not okay that I don’t know how to wrap my mind around it. I’m a man of action, though, and there’s one action in particular I can take.

I find my staff, a young woman and an old woman, in the kitchen. They both straighten as I stalk into the room. There’s a proper way to do this, but I’m too frazzled to think clearly. “What’s the meaning of this? Why is Catalina still clothed in the same dress from a week ago and staying in a room covered in dust?”

The old woman, Della, frowns at me. “We’re following your lead, sir. She’s cast out, and so our actions reflect that.”

My lead.

Goddess, I’ve made a mistake.

I almost snarl at them, but I know this is my fault. Not theirs. Instead I say stiffly, “Catalina is my honored guest and shall be treated as such.”

Annis blanches. “I’m sorry, sir. I had no idea. If I’d known—”

“My fault,” I cut in. “But see that it doesn’t happen again. Have you at least been feeding her?”

“Of course.” Della draws back as if struck. “We’re not villains. She’s been fed.”

Annis leans around Della’s back to look at me. “We gave her plain bread,” she says helpfully.

Plain bread. Catalina has been treated as a prisoner for a week, and I had no idea, because I wasn’t here. I had been so concerned about putting some distance between us—between the man I become when I’m near her—that I hadn’t stopped to consider the implications.

I have no one to blame but myself.

“Put together a true meal,” I grind out. “And clean another room for her, Annis.” I can’t blame them for the clothing situation any more than I can blame them for misunderstanding the reason I brought Catalina here. There are no clothes here that would fit a human. We only bother with cloth garments for special occasions, and even then, only the ones that won’t happen underwater. It’s a tradition holdover from when we interbred with humans more freely. They have strange ideas about nudity.

I head back the way I came, my thoughts already consumed by making this right. I’ll have to ask Embry bring over more clothing. I’m so distracted, I almost miss Ramanu stepping into the hallway.

They don’t look happier to see me than I am to see them. “She wants to stay.”

“Why?” I say it before I think better of my question. I want Catalina to stay, of course. Her leaving means losing everything I’ve fought to make ready for Embry. It means forcing my people to submit to a bargainer demon as a leader. I do not want that outcome.

I also?.?.?. don’t want Catalina to leave.

“She has her reasons,” they say shortly. They study me for a few beats. “I know you lost your husband a few years ago.”

Where are they going with this? “Five years ago.” So long, and yet no time at all.

“I’m sorry for your loss.” They almost sound like they mean it. “No one expects you to marry the woman, Thane. Just don’t treat her like a prisoner, or the next time I come here, I’m taking her back to Azazel—regardless of what protests she or you make. Do you understand me?”

“Yes,” I manage. I want to hate them for the threat, but it’s justified, and we both know it. “I understand.”

Ramanu studies me for a little longer, then nods. “You’d better.” They turn away. “I’ll see myself out.”

I wait until I can’t hear their footsteps any longer, and then I wait a while more until the wards ping as they move through them. Only then do I turn to the closed door between me and Catalina.

Apologizing is the right thing to do. I made a serious miscalculation, and she’s suffered for it. If she were anyone else, I’d already be in that room issuing my apology.

But she’s not anyone else. And?.?.?. the woman gets under my skin like no one I’ve ever met. I loved Brant with everything I had, until it felt like our lives merged in a way I still haven’t recovered from, but he never drove me to the lengths Catalina can in just a few words.

And that’s from limited interactions. Will I even be the same man if I spend more time with her? Or will the fire of her presence banish the ghosts of my past?

Ghosts I’m not ready to release. Ghosts I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to release.

Brant was the love of my life. This human woman, who I’ve only known a short time, cannot replace that or take that away, but that doesn’t change the fact she affects me like no one else has since his death.

It scares me.

If I knock on this door, if she admits me, I don’t know how the interaction will go. Will we snipe at each other? Will we manage a normal conversation? Or will she provoke me and then entice me and then disable what little control I have when I’m around her?

I can still taste her on my tongue, hear her cries of pleasure ringing in my ears. My desire puts a tremor in my hands. I want to touch her with a ferocity that borders on need. I can’t guarantee I won’t do exactly that if we get close again.

Because I can’t guarantee it, I lower my fist and turn away from the door. Catalina’s needs will be seen to. I don’t need to be present to ensure it happens.

In fact, my absence will serve her further.

I turn and move away.