7. Thane

7

THANE

After the encounter with Catalina, guilt chases me into the depths, and then it keeps me there for days. Revisiting the heat of her hands against my chest, the way it felt to wrap her in my tentacles, how sweet she looked as she came.

I’ve hardly been celibate since Brant’s death. Loneliness creeps through even the hardest exteriors and drives me to seek out company. Always with the clear understanding that it will never last longer than a night, that I am incapable of giving more. Those encounters have been soft and considerate and?.?.?. nothing like what happened with Catalina.

I wanted to bend her to my will.

I still do, if I’m being honest with myself.

“Thane.” Embry descends through the entrance above me, speaking in the clicks and movements we use to communicate under the water. Ze looks about disapprovingly. “You’re hiding.”

“There are repairs that need to be overseen.” I motion to the window overlooking the current construction. Water is a glorious element, but destructive in the way all elements are. With the keep being mostly beneath the surface, it’s an ever-present battle to ensure the foundations stay strong and stable.

Embry crosses zir arms over zir chest. “Overseen personally by the leader of the territory instead of the foreman you assigned to the task a month ago.”

I don’t blush, but it takes effort to keep from fidgeting like a youngling caught out. Embry has always had that effect on me, for all that ze is my younger sibling. “It’s an important task.”

“Your human is causing problems.”

“Catalina is not my human.”

“Isn’t she?” Ze cocks zir head to the side. “Because I don’t believe anyone else in this territory made a deal with the bargainer-demon leader to bring a human into the territory, despite the fact you’ve been very clear about your desire not to breed or displace me as the heir.”

I grit my teeth. “You know why I made that bargain.” I had to keep our territory at least appearing on equal ground as the others. If I’m the only territory leader who didn’t accept Azazel’s invitation, it would have put me at a disadvantage. When things aren’t equal between the territories, people get hurt.

“Yes, I do. I’m just reminding you of it.” Embry sighs. “I know things got a bit out of control that first day.”

“Excuse me?”

“Don’t pull that stuffy-lord voice with me, Thane. By the time she got the courage to start exploring, your scent was still all over her.” Zir gaze softens. “No one expects you to replace Brant.”

“There is no replacing Brant.”

“I know,” ze says simply. “But Catalina is bored and she’s stirring up trouble. I don’t think she means to, but she’s putting some people ill at ease with her presence.”

“You’re not suggesting she’s in danger.” I narrow my eyes. “Harming the human means harming the territory.” Why is my heart racing right now? Foolish question. It’s because the price of failure is so high. It has nothing to do with the idea of Catalina being harmed because of my negligence. “But I hear your concern, and I will heed it. Where is she now?”

“The kitchen.”

Why in Goddess’s name is she in the kitchen? I don’t voice the question. Embry already seems agitated enough without it seeming like I’m accusing zir of something. “Let’s go.”

We make it there in short order. The kitchen is one of the rooms above water for obvious reasons. Our ancestors may have existed on raw fish they hunted themselves, but my people have more varied tastes now.

I pause in the doorway and take in the disaster before me. Catalina is trying to chop?.?.?. something. Whatever it started as, it’s now mush on her board. Her face is bright red with embarrassment as the line chef, Henryk, lectures her with increasing irritation. He’s a new hire but was renowned for his skill, and I have yet to see any evidence to contradict that, though the few times we’ve interacted have left a poor taste in my mouth.

Perhaps we should come back at a later time.

I don’t think Catalina would want anyone to witness this, and I find myself reluctant to cause her further distress. Or would it be better to step in and put a stop to Henryk?.?.?.

Even as the thought crosses my mind, his voice raises. “You’re worthless.” He waves the knife at her. Too close. Too fucking close. “Get out of my kitchen before I gut you where you stand.”

I don’t make a decision to move. I hear Embry’s sharp inhale behind me, and then I’m between Henryk and Catalina. “Put the knife down. Now.” He threatened her. Pointed that blade at her fragile body and said he wanted to gut her. “Or I will put it down for you.” I don’t sound like myself. I sound like I want to rip his throat out with my teeth.

It’s not inaccurate.

He backs up immediately, his tentacles tight to his body in fear. “Thane. I didn’t know you were—”

“That should make no difference,” I snarl. “Embry, have the guards get him out of here. Permanently.”

“Wait, no!”

I ignore his pleas and turn to Catalina. “Go to your room and gather your things. We’re leaving.”

She’s gone pale, her eyes too big on her face. “Um.”

“Now, Catalina.”

“Right. Okay. Sure.” She backs up and then she’s gone, darting out the door. I’ve scared her, but I can’t think clearly enough to slow down.

The guards appear within minutes, and Embry manages the situation with far more grace and patience than I am capable of at the moment. I have to concentrate on holding perfectly still, on keeping my breathing slow and even when all I want to do is pick up that damned knife and?.?.?.

Embry crosses to me but doesn’t touch me. Smart of zir. I am shaking. Why am I shaking? “He’ll be escorted from the keep. It’s over.”

“He threatened to gut her.”

“Yes, I heard.”

Ze doesn’t sound particularly bothered by that, but I can’t tell if it’s because ze is trying to calm me or because ze honestly doesn’t care that Catalina was in imminent danger. Surely it’s not the latter. Except I can’t be sure. “We’re leaving.”

“Thane.” Embry sighs. “That’s an extreme solution to a temporary problem.”

“No, it’s really not. There are too many people here, and we cannot properly control them. Catalina is a person who incites strong emotions.” I know that all too well. “If someone harms her, the entire territory will pay the price.”

“Uh-huh.” Embry props zir hands on zir hips. “And this has nothing to do with you being scared because she was in danger. It’s only the territory.”

“Of course.” It feels like a lie, but I power through all the same. “I’m taking her to the tower.”

Instead of looking reassured, Embry looks more concerned. “Thane, you have exactly two people on staff.”

“Two people who I trust implicitly and who will not threaten to gut Catalina.” Della and Annis are lovely ladies who have seen to my personal residence for many years. While I am not close with either, they have shown themselves to be quiet, calm, and professional at all times. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“I won’t claim to know Catalina after two conversations, but she continues to seek out company.” Zir concern comes from zir in waves. “If you isolate her, she may start climbing the walls.”

It’s a fair judgment based on my limited contact with her as well, but that changes nothing. “Better to be restless than to be harmed.” There are wards on my personal residence that prevent anyone but Embry from gaining access. And Annis and Della, of course. There will be no one for Catalina to incite, and none of our enemies will be able to take advantage of this deal and harm her.

Funny how I hadn’t even considered that would be a risk until now. Henryk reacted in anger, but he spotlighted a significantly larger problem. Catalina must be contained for her safety, which means I must take her home with me.

It also means we’ll be alone together.

The realization thrills me before I shut it down. My home is close enough to the keep for me to spend my days here, and I’ll just sleep beneath the surface, deep enough that not even a reckless human like Catalina will come searching. She can’t swim, for all that the bracelet ensures she won’t drown.

It’s a neat solution. “I’ve made my decision.”

“Thane?.?.?.” Embry shakes zir head. “Fine. Do as you will.”

“It’s the logical solution.”

Ze doesn’t answer, turning and moving out the door and away from me. Zir disapproval stings, but I’m making the best call for everyone. Catalina must be kept safe, and frankly, I must be kept from Catalina.

I don’t know who that kraken was who dominated her, growled commands at her. I don’t recognize him. He’s not who I was with Brant, and he’s certainly not the shell of a person I became after Brant’s death. Better to keep apart from her and ensure he doesn’t make a reappearance.

Ever.

“You want me to swim. Again.”

I clench my jaw and strive to keep my patience. “You will not swim. I’ll carry you.”

Catalina props her hands on her hips and glares. Her earlier fear is nowhere in evidence, and I have no right to the relief that brings me. Even if it means she’s challenging me. “Right, because that worked out so well last time.”

She’s rather magnificent tonight, clothed in a lush purple dress that hugs her torso and flares out from her hips to stop just short of the ground. One of the many I ordered on that first day. My people have little use for such garments, but humans are soft and sensitive to changes in temperature in a way we aren’t. I couldn’t have Catalina walking around the keep naked.

Why not?

“You said no harm was done from that experience.” My voice is too harsh, an attempted escape from my wayward thoughts.

“I lied.” She says it so easily, as if there was never any question of it. “I know you weren’t trying to hurt me, and I wasn’t going to let a little case of the bends cause you to lose your territory.”

“The bends.”

“Yep. Pretty sure that’s what happened.” She shrugs and taps her head. “I read about it once. It has to do with the pressure of being underwater. If you go too deep too fast, or come up too fast without adjusting to the pressure, your body throws a big fit.”

“A big fit.”

“Yes, that’s what I said.” A note of defensiveness creeps into her tone. “Look, I’m not a bends specialist, and I’m pretty sure I read it in a romance novel; I was more focused on getting to the naughty bits than on the science behind the bends. I don’t swim and didn’t anticipate it ever being a factor in my life. My mistake.”

I shake my head. “It’s good information to have. As I said, it won’t happen again.” It means spending more time during the trip with her close, but I can hardly assign Embry to the task. Zir reaction to my decision to take Catalina to the tower means ze won’t do it, and I don’t trust anyone else enough to wager the territory on it.

Catalina eyes the pool I emerged from a short time ago. “And we’re leaving now.”

“Yes.” The faster we leave, the faster I can retreat. I’ve only been in this room for a few minutes, but I can’t escape the onslaught of memories from the last time I was here. Of how good she looked tangled up in me. Of how desperately I wanted to touch her, to taste her. I don’t understand why this is happening.

Dangerous. This human is dangerous.

I haven’t felt this kind of draw since?.?.?.

I take a breath and force myself to finish the thought. Since Brant. But it’s not the same. With him, it was as inevitable as the tide, a steady rush of needing to be close to him, to spend time with him, to get to know every part of him, body and soul.

With Catalina, it feels like a hurricane. I don’t know myself when I’m with her, and she’s only been in my territory for a few days.

It means I can’t trust myself with her.

“Thane.” From the exasperation in her tone, she’s said my name more than once.

“Yes?”

She worries her bottom lip but finally says, “I think I’m afraid of the water.”

“You think you’re afraid of the water?”

“That’s what I just said.” She shoves back a length of her long dark hair. “I’m trying to be honest with you. There’s no reason to mock me.”

“I’m not mocking you.” I simply do not understand how someone can fear the water. A healthy dose of caution is smart, but water is life. It still defies belief to think Catalina has spent her life without swimming.

She draws in a long breath, and it’s my only warning before her shoulders drop and her lips curve into that wild smile. Catalina still, but more. “Really, I would think you’d be enticed by this whole experience. Helpless damsel in distress, here for you to sweep up and carry around.”

“I am not enticed by incompetence.” It’s not what I mean to say. What I mean to say is that I’m not enticed by anyone but my husband, long gone and released into the depths. I’ve felt desire, but that’s not the same thing. But once the words are out, there’s no taking them back.

She’s completely undaunted. “Guess you’re just unlucky, then. Let’s get this over with.” She lifts her arms and makes a motion with her hands. “Uppies.”

“Uppies.”

“Thane, really.” She’s still grinning. “How are we to communicate at all if you’re just going to repeat every outrageous thing I say back to me? It makes for dull conversation.”

“If I gag you, you won’t be able to say anything outrageous.” Once again, as soon as the words hit the air between us, I’m appalled. I never talk to anyone this way. Certainly not some human who’s smaller and weaker than me.

But Catalina just laughs. “Always with the kinky good times. Keep making promises, and I might start to actually like you.” She makes that motion with her hands again, her hazel eyes sly. “Come on, Thane. Give me uppies.”

The sudden desire to have her in my arms is nearly equal to the need to put as much distance between us as possible. I have to get us to the tower, and then I can do the latter. Carrying her is just expedient. That’s all.

I sweep her into my arms, slightly gratified when she squeaks a little. I start for the pool but pause before slipping into it. “Do you know the parameters to avoid?.?.?. the bends?”

“Um.” She stares at my mouth for a long moment and gives herself a shake. “Like I said, I was reading the book for the fucky scenes, but pretty sure we’re not supposed to ascend faster than thirty feet per minute. And there’s a safety stop about fifteen feet below the surface where we’re supposed to hang out for roughly five minutes.”

I consider the information. It might not be accurate, but it’s easy enough to ascend slowly and ensure she doesn’t collapse again. It means more time with her in my arms, but it’s a small enough price to pay. “We won’t be able to communicate below the surface, but I will keep you safe.”

Her smile dims. “I can’t promise I won’t panic.” She rushes on before I can figure out something even remotely comforting to say. “But you know the old adage about panic?”

Even knowing I’m going to regret asking, I can’t resist the invitation in her voice. “What old adage?”

“It’s nothing a good fucking can’t fix.”

Her laugh cuts off as I slide into the pool and descend below the surface. It’s just as well. The last thing I need to think about is fucking Catalina. It’s bad enough that I can still feel her tightness against the tentacle I pressed into her. The arch of her spine as she came. Her breasts, plump and inviting and topped with rosy nipples. Her lips parted with desire and too overcome for that wild smile that feels like a lie.

It takes two minutes to realize the lovely flowing fabric of her dress is a hindrance. I pause and rip the bottom half of it off, leaving the fabric to float above us as we continue our descent. Someone will collect it later. The tunnels branch like hallways, though they are not confined by gravity, so I move laterally and then at an angle to reach the outer part of the keep.

From here, the sea opens around us. We’re close enough to the surface that sunbeams penetrate the water, lighting the coral reef that makes up the west side of the keep, the coral extending for leagues to the north and south. Schools of fish dart about, their scales flashing pleasantly. The sight of so much open space always settles a part of me that never quite finds peace when I’m in the keep itself. Without the walls to close me in, I can breathe properly again.

Maybe that’s why it takes me so long to realize Catalina isn’t enjoying the view. She’s made herself even smaller in my arms, tucking her knees close to her chest. She’s also shaking.

She’s?.?.?. terrified.