5. Thane

5

THANE

“What were you thinking?”

I cross my arms over my chest and try not to get defensive. It’s nearly impossible when faced with two accusing pairs of eyes pointed in my direction. “It didn’t occur to me that it could be a problem.”

“She’s human, you fool.” Azazel flexes his fists like he wants to slam one into my face. “They aren’t like us. They especially aren’t like you.”

“We don’t have as many humans in our territory as you do,” Embry cuts in. No one looking at us would mistake zir and me for anything other than siblings, for all that Embry inherited our mother’s more green-based tones. Ze and I both got our father’s crooked nose, which ze is looking down right now. “Honestly, Thane, he’s right. What were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t—”

“I think that is abundantly clear.”

“Enough, Azazel. We both know this wasn’t intentional.” There’s no relief to be had in Embry’s defense, though, because ze points a finger at me. “But you should have asked for more details before bringing her back through the canal.”

“It’s the quickest way home.” That’s the only thing I was thinking about.

No, that’s a lie. It wasn’t the only thing I was thinking about it. I couldn’t get the sight of Brant’s bracelet in Ramanu’s hands out of my head. We may not have many humans, or the like, in our territory these days, but the bracelets were always in high demand before among people who wanted to play tourist in their respective rivers and lakes. Especially parents of children who lived close to bodies of water. The assurance that they wouldn’t drown was worth its weight in gold.

Not that Brant ever charged enough for the bracelets.

Seeing Ramanu holding one of them, knowing the demon possibly even got it from Brant himself, felt like a slap in the face. I couldn’t think beyond the need to reclaim the item and get out of the castle as quickly as possible. The deep path is the fastest, so that’s the one I took.

It never occurred to me that it could hurt Catalina.

I glance at the bed. She levitates over it, wrapped in a bubble of magic that Embry assures me is proven to help humans with this particular sickness.

A sickness I caused with my carelessness.

“They can’t adjust to depth changes as quickly as we can. If you take her deep, you have to ease her back to the surface.” Embry swirls zir fingers through the air, eyes narrowed as ze considers Catalina. “She’ll be fine.”

“This time.” Azazel still looks like he wants to beat my face in. I don’t blame him. I made a mistake—a costly one. He glares. “No one can argue this isn’t harm. I’d be well within my rights to call this contract null and void.”

I tense. If he does that, I’ll lose the territory to him. I’ll lose Embry’s territory to him. The thought leaves me sick to my stomach. “I meant her no harm.”

“Intentions matter less than the result. You caused harm, no matter what you meant to do.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Someone get the record books, Thane has apologized.” The raspy quip makes us all look at the bed. Catalina has her eyes cracked. She still looks too pale and almost frail, but she must be feeling better if she can mouth off.

Azazel is at her side in an instant. “I apologize, Catalina. I didn’t realize Thane’s intentions to travel the way he did, or I would have educated him on the dangers involved for you.”

She looks at him, and there’s something wary in her hazel eyes that makes me want to shift between Azazel and her. It doesn’t make any sense. If anything, she should be looking to the demon for protection from me. Azazel is a fearsome leader, but he has a reputation for taking great care with his humans. Surely she must know that, or she wouldn’t have entered into the bargain with him in the first place.

Catalina blinks, and the moment passes. “I’m fine. No harm done.”

“I disagree,” he growls.

“Well, it doesn’t really matter if you agree or not, does it? Now be a good demon daddy and tell Thane you’re not going to take his territory over a simple misunderstanding.”

Embry’s eyes are far too wide as ze takes in the human. “Catalina—”

“A simple mistake,” Catalina says firmly. It doesn’t seem to matter that she’s flat on her back in a room filled with three beings bigger and stronger than her. There’s not even a waver there.

Something akin to admiration flares inside me. I don’t understand this woman, and frankly, I find her borderline abrasive in the short time we’ve known each other, but she’s no coward.

Azazel curses softly. “I promised you safety, Catalina.”

“There are no guarantees in this world, just like there are no guarantees in mine.” She smiles a little. “Thanks for riding to my rescue like a horny knight in shining armor, but I’m perfectly fine.”

She’s lying through her teeth. Oh, it’s not there in her voice or her placid expression, but I can feel it in her body all the same. She’s not fine, for all that she wants us to believe it. But why? What motivation could she possibly have to lie for me? If the contract is broken, Azazel will sweep her back to the castle and spend the next seven years ensuring she wants for nothing to make up for it. He’s a bastard, but he’s a fair one.

Azazel finally nods. “Should anything change—”

“It won’t.”

He turns to me. “No more mistakes, Thane.”

“You have my word.” I didn’t intend to be careless with her, but Azazel is right. Intentions matter little where harm is concerned. “It won’t happen again.”

“See that it doesn’t.” He stalks to the door and disappears through it. I feel the moment he leaves my keep through a portal of his making. It’s a disturbance in the air, there and gone in a moment.

“Let’s get you down.” Embry guides the bubble of healing magic down to the bed. “You should stay inside it for a few minutes or so, though. The spell will fade then, and you’ll be free to move about. I believe you’re fine now, but I would prefer to err on the side of caution.”

“Okay.” Catalina’s smile goes a bit soft and far more real than I’ve seen in our short acquaintance. “I promise to be good and lie here until the spell ends.” She makes a face. “Spells. I don’t know why that’s what trips me up about this whole experience, but it’s very strange.”

“You’ve had some big shocks.” Embry smiles down at her. “Try to take it easy and give yourself some space to adjust.”

Embry always was better with this sort of thing than I am. Ze knows exactly the right things to say and, most importantly, ze genuinely cares. Ze will be a great leader when I step down.

Exhaustion weighs on me. I never wanted to lead. Being the eldest sibling put me in that position, and I did my duty as tradition demanded. I knew the cost would be great, but I never reckoned on losing nearly everything. What point is there in a throne when the person I loved most in this world is gone?

Grief is a strange thing. Some moments, even years later, the loss of Brant is enough to make me feel like I’ll never breathe again. But yesterday, I realized I can’t remember the exact angle of his smile. Time may heal most wounds, but the cost of that healing is more than I’m comfortable paying.

I don’t want to do this, to play caretaker to this human with the entirety of the territory hanging in the balance. But stepping down now means dumping this whole mess in Embry’s lap, and I won’t do that to zir.

“I’ll take it from here,” I say softly.

Ze looks at me askance but shrugs. “Try not to upset her.”

I don’t know if that’s possible. This strange woman has managed to confound me several times during our short acquaintance. I can’t imagine I’m going to suddenly become better at interpersonal communication in the next three minutes. “I won’t.”

Embry hesitates but finally shakes zir head and leaves the room. With zir gone, there’s no one to look at except the human on the bed. Catalina has her eyes closed, which should be a welcome relief, but without her staring me down with that wild look in her eyes, she seems?.?.?. smaller.

“I’m sorry.”

“It would be a shame to lose your kingdom on the first day.” She says it so carelessly, as if her life matters so little.

It shouldn’t bother me. I don’t know this woman. She’s nothing to me, and my people matter far more than one human life. And yet?.?.?. “I have no wish to harm you.” That’s not good enough, though. I’ve almost killed her. Surely I can give a little more explanation as to why I was so careless. “Being around the other territory leaders is challenging for me. It wasn’t very long ago that we were in open conflict with each other, and Sol—”

She opens her eyes. “The dragon.”

“How do you know that?” We were only in the main room with the group for a brief encounter, and no one spoke.

“Lucky guess.” She closes her eyes again. “You went out of your way to keep more distance between you and the dragon than you did with any of the others.”

She noticed that?

I move closer to the bed despite myself. Really, Catalina is quite fetching for a human. She’s soft and pale with lovely dark hair. Her lips are also?.?.?. No. Best not to think about her lips. I clear my throat. “One of his people killed my husband five years ago. The bracelet on your wrist was made by him, the last one he made if I’m not mistaken.”

“What?” Her eyes fly open. “Oh, Thane, I’m so sorry.”

I wave that away. I can’t stand pity. Enough of my people have it lingering in their eyes when they look at me. Escaping Brant’s loss is impossible, but the weight of it seems to increase the more time I spend in others’ presences. Embry is the exception, but ze is the person I’m closest to in this world. Ze knows the last thing I want is pity. “It was a long time ago, but Ramanu holding it made me forget myself.”

“Five years is both a long time and no time at all.” Something in her voice speaks to experience, but it’s flavored differently. She didn’t lose someone, but she lost?.?.?. something. I’m tempted to ask, but I don’t want to give her a false sense of what this is.

“Yes,” I say simply.

“I don’t want kids.”

I blink at the sudden change in subject. “Excuse me?”

“Kids. There’s a clause in the contract that says if I get knocked up, my kid stays here.” She carefully sits up as the bubble of magic dissolves around her. “I don’t want to be pregnant. I had a shit show of a mother as an example and can’t guarantee I won’t fuck up a kid the same way she fucked up me. It’s not worth the risk. I won’t do it.”

There’s none of her defiant joy in the bleak words. Once again, I can only meet her honesty with honesty. “I don’t want children either. I never have. Embry is my heir, and I’ll do nothing to compromise zir position.”

Catalina narrows her eyes. “Then why is that even in my contract? Or is that a bargainer-specific thing?”

“The territories get their strength from their leaders. Our magic has been faltering in recent generations, and procreating with a human will provide a boost since humans are excellent conductors for magic. The other territory leaders no doubt intend to breed with their respective humans and create heirs that way.”

“That’s very nondemocratic of them. Are they all monarchies like you?”

It’s a mistake to linger in this room longer than strictly necessary. As we talk, the strength comes back into her voice, and she scoots to the edge of the bed, causing her dress to ride up to an indecent height. She doesn’t seem to notice, so I do my best to keep my gaze firmly above her shoulders.

I’m only partially successful. I make it to her chest, but each motion she makes has her breasts straining precariously against the fabric of her dress. Her generous curves look one tiny tug from bursting free.

To distract myself, I answer her question. “No. The incubi and succubi don’t follow bloodlines for who takes the leadership position. Rusalka likely intends to use some of her chosen warriors to breed with the human.”

“Kinky.” Catalina smiles slowly, life sparking back onto her pretty face. “Do you think they’ll line up and run a train on her? I only met her briefly, but she seems like she enjoys having a good time, and that sounds like a good time.”

“Is that something you’d be interested in?” I don’t know what possesses me to ask such an inappropriate question, but it slips free before my brain catches up with my mouth.

“Me?” She carefully gets to her feet. Without thinking, I move my tentacles out of the way as she steps closer. Her grin widens, and that strange look flares in her hazel eyes. Catalina reaches out and presses her hands to my bare chest. She meets my gaze, her touch scorching me. “I’m more interested in tentacles.”

I don’t understand why I lean toward her in response. She is infuriating and nothing like any partner I’ve had in the past. She’s certainly nothing like Brant. His charm was sunny and without the wild edge that lurks in the curve of her full lips. And yet?.?.?. she draws me all the same.

It’s a feel beyond reason, beyond logic. That should be enough to make me turn around and leave the room and never look back. I even go so far as to silently command my body to do exactly that.

But I don’t leave.

Instead, I stand there and wait to see what she’ll do next.