15. Thane

15

THANE

Catalina doesn’t believe me. It’s right there in her hazel eyes, in the way she won’t quite meet my gaze for the first time since we met. I knew she had a painful past, of course; she’s too much of a kindred spirit not to have had that. But I didn’t expect to feel protective of her.

The wave of sheer rage makes me shake, and I have to close my eyes and focus on breathing for a moment. I am not particularly violent by nature. I defend my territory to the best of my ability, but my first response will never be violence if there’s another course of action.

Yet I want to find whoever hurt Catalina and drag them into the deep. Hold them there until the last of their air escapes. Leave them behind for predators to find and dispose of.

The force of my feelings surprises me.

Equally surprising is how much I want to wrap her up and hold her until that lost look leaves her eyes. Until she believes she’s worth fighting for. I don’t understand where these impulses come from, and I feel a bit like?.?.?.

We have a legend among my people. Long ago, we had a queen named Tatiana who fell in love with one of the C?n Annwn and had a child with them. Then the realms parted unexpectedly, and she was separated from her love and her child. She fell into despair and descended into the depths to mourn. She stayed there so long, her grief so strong, that the coral reef eventually overtook her, her body calcifying.

I feel like that.

Except I’ve awoken.

“Thane, I swear to god, if you’re about to say something gentle, I might scream.” Catalina’s voice is ragged, her fingers digging into my tentacles. “Please don’t ruin this.”

I understand in that moment that she won’t accept kindness from me. Not tonight. Not like this. But I know what she will accept. I take a breath and let this strange mood settle over me. I don’t know what it means, or if it means anything at all. Maybe Catalina is simply the catalyst for my breaking out of unending grief. Even now it’s there, lingering along the edges. I don’t think it will ever go away, and part of me never wants it to.

I can give her this, though. I don’t know if it’s what she needs, but it’s what she’ll accept, and that’s almost as good. “Catalina.”

She presses her lips together and then seems to make a decision. She relaxes into my hold. “Yes?”

“You may be as loud as you like.” I relish the surprise on her face, but only for a moment. My goal is far too close to hesitate now.

I lift her until her body is even with my chest. Then I do what I’ve been thinking about since the day I brought her to my tower. I press my mouth to her pussy. Her gasp is as perfect as her taste. I drag my tongue through her folds. You taste like the sea. Like home. Later, that thought will concern me. Right now, I need more.

There is no careful control as I feast on her. Every cry from her lips only spurs me onward. I don’t know when I closed my eyes, but I try to open them, to watch her. Catalina is completely lost to the pleasure I’m giving her. She writhes among my tentacles, her body shaking and ragged sobs sounding in the air between us.

More.

I’m so hard, I can’t think straight. It’s a state I’ve become much accustomed to in the past couple of weeks. Every time I close my eyes, I see her, feel her, hear her. I’ve imagined this very moment more times than I want to admit.

“Thane, please.”

I press my forehead to her stomach and try to focus. My hands are shaking. Why are my hands shaking? “I will give you my cock, Catalina. I promise. But allow me to bring you to release first.”

“I can’t wait.” She shifts restlessly, and it brings me far too much satisfaction to tighten my hold on her oh so briefly. To keep her legs splayed wide and her pussy available to me. It pleases me so much, I lick her again and move back up to her clit. Catalina cries out. “Your cock! Please, Thane!”

“In a moment.” It’s been months since my last regular bed partner. Too long. When I finally sink my cock into Catalina’s wet pussy, I don’t have much faith in my ability to keep myself from cumming on the spot. I’m shaking just from having her in my arms, and my cock is so hard, I’m getting a little worried about blood flow. The very least I can do is ensure she reaches completion first.

Next time will be better. Next time, I will fuck her until I feel her cum around my cock.

Next time.

I press a single finger into her. A few careful strokes, and then I wedge a second finger into her pussy. I’m not small even by my people’s standards. Compared to Catalina, I’m practically a giant.

This has to be good for her. I don’t want to hurt her in my eagerness.

Even so, it takes every sliver of control to maintain my position, my mouth against her clit, my fingers buried inside her, until she goes tense around me. “Thane!” Catalina’s back bows, and I loosen my grip around her waist to allow it.

But only for a moment.

I need her too much to allow her to recover. In fact, it’s likely better that she’s still limp with pleasure as I lower her until our hips are even. Goddess, she’s beautiful in every way, but especially in this moment. Her cheeks are rosy with pleasure, her eyes heavy-lidded.

I fist my cock and give myself a rough stroke. My fingers are still wet with her desire, and the scent drives me wild. Still, I manage to control myself. Barely. “Yes?”

“Now. You promised.” She wets her bottom lip and meets my gaze. “Please.”

I don’t need further encouragement. I lift her in the air and angle my cock to her entrance. The size difference looks almost obscene, and if I hadn’t been intimate with humans in the past, I would doubt she can take me. As it is, the struggle will be to take it slow, to ensure her body has time to adjust to mine. My cock is adaptable by nature, but I want to make this good for her.

“Try to relax,” I murmur. After one last check of her expression, I lower her onto my cock. Slowly. Agonizingly slowly. It seems to take forever for my broad head to breach her entrance, but when it does, we both gasp. Tight. Too fucking tight. “Catalina.”

“I’m trying.” She breathes so hard, her breasts shake with each exhale. I pulse my tentacles against her nipples, increasing the suction a little, and she gasps. “Keep doing that.”

I slide her down another inch. Agony. This is agony. I never want it to end. “You feel so good.” I move my tentacles over her body, but I can’t say if I’m trying to soothe her or stir her. “Let me in, Lina.” I can’t stop staring at her pussy, at how my cock spreads her almost obscenely.

And yet she takes me deeper yet.

I make my cock pulse inside her. Just a little bit. Testing her response.

“Thane.” Catalina shakes, thrashing her head back and forth. “Oh fuck, I think I’m going to cum again. You’re so big and whatever you just did feels wonderful.” The words pour out of her without artifice or intention. “It’s?.?.?. I?.?.?.”

I thrust, sinking the rest of the way inside her. Her eyes fly open, and she cries out. I need to slow down, need to check in, but pleasure has possessed me. It washes away all my best intentions. There is only Catalina, her pussy clamping so tight around my cock, I think I might die.

But I need her to cum again first.

I shift around so I can recline back on the rocks, bracing my hands behind me. “Look how perfect you are,” I croon. I don’t sound like myself. “A perfect little doll, designed for pleasure.”

“Thane, please.”

I use my cock to feel around inside her, watching her face all the while. She’s so expressive, I know the moment I found the spot inside her that will increase her pleasure. I pulse against that spot rhythmically. “Say it again.”

“Please.”

I use my tentacles to lift her slowly, until only the head of my cock remains inside her. “Again.”

Her eyes go wide when she realizes that my hands aren’t even touching her. Catalina bites her lip. “I don’t know if I hate this or love it.”

“Do you want me to stop?”

She shivers and shakes her head. “No. Make me ride your cock. Make me take you.” She whimpers, the sound so delicious, I can taste it on my tongue. “Use me like your little fuck doll. Please.”

You are not a doll to be used for others’ pleasure.

I don’t say it. I’m the one who first called her a doll. Can I blame her for taking up the mantle and running with it? A battle to fight another day. Right now, I need to make her cum before I blow. I lower her on my cock again. “Look how sweetly you take me, little doll. Like you were made for it.”

She shakes her head, but I can’t tell if it’s in denial or pleasure. “I hate this.” She’s so wet, she takes me almost easily now. Her voice is as ragged as her breathing. “I hate that you’re not touching me but you’re touching me everywhere.”

“I’m touching you.” I guide another tentacle around her waist and down toward her pussy. “Can’t you feel me, little doll?”

“Yes!”

I tease her even as I lift her again. I have another stroke in me. Maybe two. I need to make this count. When I have her nearly free of my cock, I focus on stroking her clit lightly. Not enough to make her cum—not yet—but enough to have her body tensing in my tentacles. “Tell me what you need.”

“You,” she sobs. Her eyes are closed tight, and her body is quivering with an impending orgasm. “I just need you.”

I cover her clit with the tip of my tentacle?.?.?. positioning one of the suckers right where she needs me as I slam her down my length. The effect is instantaneous. Catalina cries out as she cums, her pussy clamping around my cock.

Oh fuck. Oh goddess. Oh—

I don’t remember reaching for her. One moment I’m braced on the rock and controlling the whole encounter. The next I have my arms around her and I’m claiming her mouth in a searing kiss that feels like she is branding me.

It doesn’t matter. We’ve gone too far to stop now. I kiss her harder as my orgasm crests. It surges?.?.?. and then keeps going. I cling to Catalina, holding her tight as my body takes over, thrusting into her again and again. I’m vaguely aware of her now-free arms wrapped around me, her ankles locking at the small of my back, but mostly lost in the sea of pleasure.

In the end, it’s everything I can do to ensure we slump onto my tentacles instead of the cold rock floor. Distantly some part of my brain is telling me that now’s the time to move, but the thought can’t quite take root.

Catalina shivers. “That was?.?.?.”

“Yes.”

“You were?.?.?.”

“I know.” I kiss her temple and pull her close. My cock is still half-hard inside her, but I’m not ready to withdraw. Not even when the stimulation borders on pain. “Thank you for trusting me.”

“Of course.” She says it like I’ve done a single thing to earn her trust.

Guilt rises in a slow wave. I didn’t intend to make her feel unwanted, but as we discussed earlier, intent matters less than action. Than results. I did it in ignorance before, but I don’t have that excuse now.

I like this woman. This kindred soul. I don’t know what that means. I don’t know how to deal with my heart, suddenly too present in my chest.

It’s not like how things were with Brant—not in any way, shape, or form—but how long can I deny there’s something here between Catalina and me? I don’t know what to think, what to feel. Maybe that’s why I speak my thoughts aloud. “I don’t want to forget him.”

To her credit, Catalina instantly understands. She shifts, easing off my cock, but doesn’t move far. “No one is asking you to forget him.” She clears her throat. “Or replace him. I know I could never do that, and I don’t want to. It feels icky. You loved him very deeply. You still love him.”

Yes, but?.?.?. I don’t like how quick she is to act as if she could never occupy that space in someone’s life. In?.?.?. my life.

Too fast. I’m moving far too fast with this, but it’s as if by crossing this threshold with Catalina, I have broken free of the calcification that overtook my life with Brant’s death. At least in part.

She won’t thank me for saying as much, though.

“Catalina.” I pull her into my arms again and shift so I’m lying on my back with her sprawled on my chest. “You are a gift beyond measure.”