22. Hailey
CHAPTER 22
HAILEY
T he days stretch endlessly before me, each one blurring into the next in an endless parade of boredom and isolation.
I work, shadowing Luca to every meeting. I eat. I read books about pregnancy and parenting. I wander the grand halls of the palace, marveling at the furnishings and priceless artwork. And yet nothing distracts me from the loneliness that gnaws at my heart.
Ever since Luca’s return from Prague, he’s been even more distanced. I haven’t pushed, haven’t tried to get him to warm up to what’s happening. Because what’s the use?
I’m still his live-in journalist, my report on him not complete until the coronation, but that’s where it all ends. We aren’t even having breakfast together anymore. Not that it was formally ended; he just is never there when I go downstairs in the mornings, and the maids have informed me that he’s been rising early and taking breakfast in his room.
All in an attempt to avoid me, I can only assume.
What he is communicative about, though, is that I stay hidden away, sequestered from the world like some shameful secret. He says it’s for my own protection, to avoid stirring up rumors and speculation. But his words ring hollow in my ears. If he truly cared for me, wouldn’t he want to claim our child as his own?
But here I am, left to rattle around this gilded cage, cut off from everyone and everything I know. The solitude is suffocating, pressing down on me until sometimes I feel like I can barely breathe.
In a desperate attempt to ease the ache in my chest, I take refuge in my room and call my mom. Her familiar voice is a balm to my battered soul, and for a moment, I allow myself to imagine I’m back home in New York, curled up on her couch as we chat about our days.
But reality intrudes all too soon. When she asks how long I’ll be on assignment at the palace, I hesitate, the lie sticking in my throat.
“It’s… been extended,” I say vaguely, hating the deception. “I’m not sure how long I’ll be here.”
She hums in acknowledgment, but I can hear the concern in her voice. “Is everything okay, honey? You sound… different.”
I close my eyes, fighting back the sudden burn of tears. I long to unburden myself, to tell her everything — the baby, Luca’s cold distance, the crushing loneliness of my new reality. But I can’t bear the thought of disappointing her, of admitting that I’ve found myself in the same situation she fought so hard to escape.
The only difference is that the father of my child happens to be royalty — although in some ways that’s worse. Yes, Luca has enough money to set me and the baby up for life, but he’s also keeping us shut away. I’m starting to feel like, in the face of that, all the money in the world doesn’t matter.
And that… that feels worse than just about anything else I can imagine.
“I’m fine,” I manage, forcing a lightness I don’t feel into my tone. “Just tired. It’s been a lot of work, you know?”
“Oh, I’m sure it is. I’m so proud of you, though. Everyone at work keeps asking about your assignment. They think it’s the greatest thing ever that you’re shadowing Prince Luca!”
The pride in her voice makes my stomach sink. She’ll be happy to become a grandmother, I know, but her opinion about Luca will have to change soon enough — once she finds out the full story.
The conversation winds down, and I end the call with a heavy heart. Staring at the phone in my hand, I hesitate only a moment before dialing Millie’s number. She picks up on the second ring.
“Hailey! God, it’s good to hear from you. How are you holding up in that fancy palace?”
I swallow hard, steeling myself. “Not so good.”
“Oh, no. What happened? Is it Luca? What’s going on between you two?”
“A lot.” With a sigh, I lean against the wall.
“Is the assignment off?” she asks quietly.
“No, that’s still on. Millie, I… I’m pregnant.”
Silence stretches between us, broken only by her sharp intake of breath. “Oh, Hailey,” she murmurs, her voice soft with understanding. “Are you okay?”
The fact that it’s her first question — not “Is it Luca’s?” or “What are you gonna do?” — nearly breaks my heart in the good way. She’s the most amazing friend in the world, and I need her more right now than I ever have.
The dam breaks then, and the whole story since arriving at the palace spills forth, including the night in the pool, finding out I’m pregnant, his insistence on keeping me hidden away, and the aching loneliness that dogs my every step.
“I don’t know what to do,” I confess, my voice breaking. “I thought… I thought maybe we could be a family, but he barely even looks at me.”
Millie is quiet for a long moment, and I can tell that she already knows what she’s gonna say; she’s just figuring out the best way to present it.
“Hailey, I think you need to come home,” she says gently. “This isn’t healthy. For you or the baby. You deserve so much more than being someone’s dirty little secret.”
I bristle at that, mostly because she’s called out my exact, specific fear. And yet an irrational surge of defensiveness rises in my chest.
“I can’t just leave,” I argue. “This baby… it’s Luca’s child, too. They deserve to know their father.”
“And what about what you deserve?” Millie counters. “Hailey, I love you, but I’m scared for you. I don’t want to see you get hurt any more than you already have been.”
“I know.” I close my eyes against the onslaught of tears.
“Honestly,” she says, “how do you even know that Luca will be a good father? He doesn’t seem interested in parenting one bit. Do you see that you’re sticking around at that palace on the very high possibility that he’ll turn out to be a shitty dad, and then you’ll end up wishing you had left sooner?”
I don’t know what to say to that. I’m too worried that she might be right.
“Just think about it,” she whispers.
“I will.” I stare out the window at the gorgeous blue sky. All I have time to do when I’m not shadowing Luca is think.
“I have to get the kids to school. I’ll call you soon as I can. I love you.”
“I love you, too.” I end the call, Millie’s words ringing in my ears.
I know she means well, but she doesn’t understand. How could she? She’s never been in love with someone so completely out of reach.
Putting my phone down, I slip on some shoes and wander the palace halls aimlessly, my footsteps echoing in the cavernous space. I’m so lost in my thoughts that I don’t hear the approaching footsteps until they’re right behind me. I turn, my heart leaping into my throat, only to find myself face-to-face with Simon.
Quickly, I wipe at my teary face. Simon and I have only spoken a few times, and I know that he’s more than an employee of the royal family. He’s also Luca’s close friend. They took off on the Prague trip together, leaving me feeling like the odd one out. I also know that Luca divulged the situation about the pregnancy to his friend when they were on that trip.
He takes one look at my tear-stained face and sighs, his expression softening with sympathy. “How are you?”
“Oh.” I sniffle and force a smile. “Great. Thanks.”
He frowns. “Luca?—”
I shake my head. “It’s not Luca. Not really. I just…”
I trail off, uncertain how to put my tangled emotions into words. But Simon seems to understand anyway. He nods, guiding me gently toward the library.
“Come on,” he says. “Let’s sit and talk.”
The library is blessedly empty, the silence broken only by the crackle of the fire in the hearth. I sink onto one of the plush couches, hugging a throw pillow to my chest. Simon settles beside me, the kindness in his eyes a bit too much. I’m starting to feel like a charity case, like the puppy at the shelter that everyone stops to pet but that no one will take home.
“I’m trying to be patient,” I whisper. “I know Luca has responsibilities, obligations that I can’t even begin to comprehend. But I thought…” I bite my lip, fighting back a fresh wave of tears. “I thought maybe things would be different now that we’re going to be parents together.”
Simon is quiet for a long moment, his brow furrowed in thought. “Luca cares for you,” he says at last. “I know he does. But he’s always put duty first. It’s how he was raised, and now that his father is gone, it’s more extreme. He’s… single-focused.”
I nod, blinking hard. “I get that. I do. But I don’t want our baby to grow up feeling like they’re second best. Like they’ll always be an afterthought compared to the crown.”
He frowns. “I know that he’s crazy about you.”
My heart lifts, those few words breathing new life into my tired lungs.
“I’ve tried to talk to him about the situation,” Simon goes on, “but he shuts me down. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have anything to apologize for.” I shake my head.
He leans back in his seat, letting out a heavy breath. “I don’t want you to waste your life waiting for him to come around.”
“I’m not.” I straighten up.
He eyes me. “So what will happen once the baby is born? Will you really be happy with this arrangement for the rest of your life?”
I bite my lip. “If he is a good father, yes.”
The words singe the end of my tongue. Days ago, I had myself convinced that they’re the truth. Now? Now I wonder if I’m lying to myself.
He considers that. “I see.” A smile graces his face, but it’s forced. “I’m here whenever you would like to talk, or if you would simply like to hang out. I know how isolating it can feel here, even with people all about.”
I take a deep, shuddering breath, trying to compose myself. “Thank you, Simon,” I say softly. “You have no idea how much that means to me.”
He smiles, patting my hand before releasing it. “Anytime. And I mean that.” His eyes dance with a hint of mischief. “Now, what do you say we raid the kitchens for some ice cream? I’m pretty sure Chef made a fresh batch of mint chip this morning.”
My stomach rumbles at the mention of the decadent treat, and I grin. “I say lead the way.”
As I follow him out of the library, I feel a tiny spark of hope flicker to life in my chest. It’s fragile, delicate as a butterfly’s wings, but it’s there.
Maybe, just maybe, everything will work out in the end.