19. Luca

CHAPTER 19

LUCA

I pace outside Hailey’s room, my mind racing, full of memories of her pale face this morning.

She clearly isn’t doing well, and the thought of something being terribly wrong with her makes me sick with dread. If something happens to Hailey…

I draw a quick breath, shocked at how much the thought of losing her upsets me. My father is gone. My mother gone.

Aside from Simon, Hailey is the most important person in my life.

Which sounds ridiculous, I know that. I’ve pushed her away, told her that we can’t be involved in any way but professionally. Hell, I don’t even treat her as a friend.

Yet that doesn’t stop her from filling my dreams every night. Doesn’t stop me from keeping a room furnished in my heart just for her. Us not being together doesn’t mean I don’t care for her, and care for her I do — with every fiber of my being.

The door opens, and I spin around. Dr. Novak exits Hailey’s room, closing the door firmly behind herself.

“What is it?” I say quickly.

Dr. Novak folds her hands in front of her belt. “Sir, I am bound by patient-physician confidentiality. I can tell you nothing. I’m sorry.”

My shoulders slump. “I understand. Thank you for seeing her.”

“Of course.” She bows before disappearing down the hallway.

I knock on the closed door, my heart pounding in my chest. “Hailey? It’s me, Luca. Can I come in?”

A pause, then, “Yes, come in.”

I enter, closing the door behind me. Hailey is sat on the edge of the bed, her face pale, her eyes red-rimmed. She’s been crying.

The sight makes my heart clench. Oh, no. Is it even worse than I imagined?

“Hailey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” I hurry to her, but stop myself right before taking her hands in mine. Despite what’s happening now, I drew the line — yet again — in the pool last night, and I need to be careful to not send her mixed messages.

Or to make things even harder on myself — as keeping our boundaries in place requires my not doing anything that will cause my self-control to break.

She takes a deep breath, her hands trembling in her lap. “Luca, I… I’m pregnant.”

The world stops. My breath catches in my throat. “What?”

“I’m pregnant,” she repeats. “And it’s yours.”

I stare at her, my mind reeling. Pregnant. My child. Our child. How did this happen? We were careful. We used protection.

But none of that matters now. The reality of the situation hits me like a ton of bricks. I’m going to be a father. And Hailey… Hailey is carrying my child.

I sit down beside her, at a loss for what to do next. How am I supposed to respond to this?

“Hailey, I… I don’t know what to say.”

She looks at me, her brown eyes searching mine. “I know this isn’t what we planned. I know it’s complicated. But I… I want to keep the baby, Luca.”

My heart skips a beat. She wants to keep the baby. Our baby. A part of me is thrilled, but another part is terrified. What will this mean for us? For our future?

I know one thing for certain: I will support Hailey, no matter what. I won’t abandon her or our child.

“Hailey, I’m here for you,” I say softly, squeezing her hand. “We’ll navigate this together. I promise.”

I take a deep breath, still trying to wrap my mind around this news even as I promise to stand by her side.

We’re having a child. It’s overwhelming, but as I look into her eyes, I see a glimmer of hope, of excitement, beneath the fear and uncertainty.

“The condom must have been faulty,” she says, voice trembling slightly. “I’m sorry, Luca. I never meant for this to happen.”

I shake my head, pulling her into my arms. “Don’t apologize. This isn’t your fault. If anything, it’s mine. I should have been more careful.”

She buries her face in my chest, and I feel her tears soaking through my shirt. I stroke her hair, whispering words of comfort and reassurance.

“We’ll get through this. I promise you. I’ll be here every step of the way.”

She pulls back, looking up at me with watery eyes. “You really mean that?”

I nod, cupping her face in my hands. “Of course I do. This is our child. Our responsibility. And I… I want to be a part of their life. I want to be there for you, for both of you.”

A small smile tugs at the corners of her mouth, and she leans into my touch. “Thank you, Luca. You have no idea how much that means to me.”

“Of course.”

I mean what I’m saying. I would rather die than turn my back on the mother of my child. Yet, the weight of reality crashes down on me. The ramifications of this news start to sink in, and a sense of dread settles in the pit of my stomach.

Soon, I will be officially crowned king of Werdenfeld. My every move is scrutinized, my personal life dissected by the media and the public. I can’t step outside this palace without being mobbed. Everyone wants to know what the future king is doing, what he’s thinking. It’s up to me to demonstrate our country’s morals, now and for the rest of my life.

And a royal child out of wedlock? It’s unheard of. It could jeopardize everything I’ve worked for, everything my father built.

I release Hailey from my embrace, my hands still resting on her shoulders. “I need some time to clear my head, to process all of this. But I want you to know that I’m not going anywhere. We’re in this together, okay?”

She nods, her smile faltering slightly. “Oh. Um. Okay. Are you…”

“I’m not displeased. I’m shocked. That’s all.” I bite my bottom lip. It’s not exactly the truth, but I’m spinning right now, unable to get a solid footing.

Her eyes narrow the slightest bit, but it’s more from pain than suspicion.

“It’s not what I expected,” I say, rushing to explain. “I’m being coronated in a few weeks, and this — this could throw everything off. When people find out I am having a child out of wedlock?—”

“You are having a child out of wedlock,” she cuts in. “That’s the fact. Unless you’re planning on suddenly proposing to me since I’m pregnant.” There’s bitterness in her words.

I get up and pace the room, leaving her warm body behind. “That’s… not what I meant.” My stomach tightens. “I’m just… It’s a lot to take in.”

She sighs and looks away. “It’s fine. You never promised me anything, and I’m not asking for anything either.”

My heart climbs into my throat. Oh, Hailey. I would offer her the whole world if I could, but it’s not that simple. My hands are tied, and it’s not for my well-being — it’s for the well-being of my country.

I suppose it’s too much to expect her to understand that. When it comes to these kinds of affairs, our experiences are too varied. She didn’t grow up being written about on gossip blogs, being expected to set an example for every other person in her country.

“I’ll come see you later today,” I say.

As I step away, I see the disappointment in her eyes, the unspoken longing for me to stay. It takes every ounce of willpower to turn towards the door, to leave her when all I want is to wrap her in my arms and never let go.

But I know I need this time, need to gather my thoughts and find a way to navigate this new reality.

I pause at the doorway, glancing back at her, but she’s still turned away, staring out the window. An urge to rush to her, to take her in my arms and tell her I love her, that I want her to be mine, that I want to raise the baby as a couple, fills me.

But I stand where I am, because all of that is unrealistic. If Hailey and I did rush into a relationship — even a marriage — it would be clear to any observers that I’d only be marrying her in order to cover for the pregnancy.

And yet… that wouldn’t be the whole story. Not at all.

Because in another life, under a different set of circumstances, I would have already given my all to Hailey, and I would be on the fast track to picking out a ring and planning where and when I want to get down on one knee in front of her.

That’s nothing more than a fantasy, though, and people with as much responsibility as I have can’t afford fantasies.

So I step out of the room without another word, closing the door behind me. The weight of our future presses down on my shoulders, and of all the problems I thought I had an hour before, none seem as big as the one I’m suddenly facing.