17. Luca

CHAPTER 17

LUCA

I lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, my mind a riotous mess. The ghost of Hailey’s touch lingers on my skin, the memory of her lips against mine seared into my brain.

I can’t get her out of my head. Her smile, her laugh, the way her eyes sparkle when she’s excited about a story. The softness of her skin, the taste of her mouth…

I groan, pressing the heels of my palms against my eyes. This is exactly what I don’t need right now. My father’s death, the impending coronation, the weight of an entire nation on my shoulders… and here I am, fantasizing about a woman I can’t have.

But God, I want her. I want her more than I’ve ever wanted anything.

I roll over, burying my face in the pillow, trying to block out the images that flood my mind. It’s no use. She’s everywhere; in every thought, every breath.

What’s she doing now? I imagine she’s back in her room, maybe showering after the pool, lathering up shampoo in her hair, the suds crawling down her shoulders, down her breasts, all the way down to…

“Seriously?” I ask myself out loud.

Sleep is a lost cause. I sit up, swinging my legs over the side of the bed and grabbing a dirty T-shirt from the floor. I make my way down to the kitchens, not hungry but on a mission anyway. I need a distraction, something to take my mind off Hailey.

I push open the door to the kitchens, the hinges creaking softly. The room is dark, the only light coming from the moonlight filtering through the windows. I don’t bother with the lights, navigating my way to the fridges by memory.

I’m rummaging through the contents, looking for something to snack on, when I hear a noise from the back of the room. I freeze, my heart pounding in my chest. Who would be down here at this hour?

I grab the nearest thing I can find — a pot — and hold it like a weapon as I creep towards the source of the noise. Could it be another photographer, like the one who snapped that picture of Hailey and me? Has someone breached the palace security again?

Anger fills me. If they think they’re going to break into the palace and get served their scoop on a silver platter, they have another think coming. This is my home, a place of respect and dignity. Yes, I share it with dozens of staff members, but that doesn’t make it any less private. Everyone who lives and works here deserves to have peace, and the fact that even one person broke in makes me pissed off and ready for revenge.

My pulse races as I inch closer, ready to confront the intruder. I round the corner, the pot raised high, and?—

“Ahh!” A familiar voice yelps, startling me so badly I nearly drop my makeshift weapon.

“Simon?” I lower the pot, my brow furrowing in confusion. “What the hell are you doing here?”

My friend stares at me wide-eyed, his hand clutched to his chest. “What am I doing here? What are you doing, sneaking around in the dark with a pot?”

I set the pot down on the counter, running a hand through my hair. “I thought you were an intruder. A journalist or something.”

Simon raises an eyebrow. “Paranoid much?”

I shoot him a look. “Can you blame me? After what happened with Hailey…”

I trail off, the memory of that stolen moment in the gardens flooding back. The way she felt in my arms, the taste of her lips…

I shake my head, trying to clear it. “When did you get back, anyway? I thought you were still in London.”

Simon gives me a strange look. “I never left. I’ve been here all week. London was last month.”

I blink at him, surprised. “You have?”

He nods, his expression softening. “Yeah. You’ve just been… preoccupied.”

Guilt twists in my gut. I’ve been so wrapped up in my own drama, I hadn’t even noticed my own best friend’s presence. The last time I remember speaking to him was the day of my father’s funeral.

“Simon, I’m sorry. I’ve been a terrible friend lately.”

He waves a hand, brushing off my apology. “It’s fine, Luca. You’ve got a lot on your plate right now. You have nothing to apologize for.”

But it’s not fine. I should have been there for him, should have made time for him. What kind of king will I be if I can’t even be a good friend?

The thought makes my chest tighten, the weight of my impending responsibilities pressing down on me. I lean against the counter, suddenly feeling exhausted.

“I don’t know if I can do this, Simon. Any of it.”

He steps closer, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “Hey, you’re not in this alone, okay? I’m here for you. And you’re going through a lot right now, man. You just put your dad in the ground, and on top of that…”

He trails off, sparing us both from more talk about the mantle I’m now carrying.

I nod, swallowing past the lump in my throat. “I know. Thanks.”

We lapse into silence, each of us lost in our own thoughts. After a moment, he clears his throat.

“So… you and Hailey, huh?”

I glance at him, my heart skipping a beat at the mention of her name. “What about us?”

“That article… it wasn’t entirely wrong, was it? You may not have noticed me here all week, but I’ve been noticing you .”

“She’s shadowing me,” I say flatly. “For an article.”

“Uh-huh. I see the way you two look at each other, Luca.”

“Look at each other — like what?” I turn away from him and open the fridge, where there’s most likely to be leftovers. “You should really get a job. Find something to do with your time instead of looking for drama where there isn’t any.”

“I got a job,” he says over my shoulder. “I’m working with my father.”

“Here?” I turn to study him.

“Where else?”

Yet another detail of his life that I’ve recently glossed over. My face burns with shame.

Simon’s father was my father’s financial advisor, which means Dorian is now my financial advisor. And I guess, officially, Simon now also works for me.

“Don’t worry about it.” He claps a hand on my shoulder. “Let’s just have some of that trifle cake.”

I sigh in relief. He’s too good to me. “Let’s.”

We pull the cake out, grab a couple of spoons, and sit at one of the islands, not bothering to get bowls.

“How are you?” Simon asks. “Really?”

I hesitate, debating how much to tell him. But this is Simon, my closest friend, my confidant. If I can’t be honest with him, who can I be honest with?

“That photo did tell some truth,” I admit, my voice barely above a whisper.

His eyes widen. “You mean…?”

I nod, a small smile tugging at my lips despite myself. “We spent the night together. In New York. It was… incredible.”

The memory washes over me, vivid and intoxicating. Her skin against mine, her breath hot in my ear…

I shake my head, forcing myself back to the present. “But it doesn’t matter. It can’t happen again.”

Simon frowns. “Why not?”

“Because I’m about to be king, Simon. I have a duty to my country, to my people. I can’t afford to be distracted by romance right now.”

The words taste bitter on my tongue, but I know they’re true. As much as I want Hailey, as much as I ache for her, I have to put my feelings aside. For the good of Werdenfeld.

Simon studies me for a long moment, his expression unreadable. “You know, Luca, sometimes I think you use your duty as an excuse to run away from your feelings.”

I open my mouth to protest, but he holds up a hand, cutting me off.

“I know you’re scared. I know you’re trying to do the right thing. But denying yourself happiness isn’t the answer. It’s okay to want something for yourself every once in a while.”

I stare at him, my heart hammering in my chest. Part of me knows he’s right. But the other part, the part that’s terrified of failing, of letting everyone down, won’t let me admit it.

“I can’t, Simon. I just… I can’t.”

He sighs, his shoulders slumping in defeat. “I get it. I do. But you can’t keep running forever. Sooner or later, you’re going to have to face your feelings. About your dad. About Hailey. About all of it.”

I clench my jaw, my fingers tightening around the spoon. “I’m not running from anything. I’m doing what needs to be done. What’s expected of me.”

“And what about what you want? What about your own happiness?”

I let out a harsh laugh, the sound echoing in the empty kitchen. “My happiness doesn’t matter. Not when there’s a whole country counting on me.”

He shakes his head, his eyes filled with sadness. “That’s not true, Luca. Your happiness matters just as much as anyone else’s. More, even. Because if you’re not happy, how can you expect to lead your people effectively?”

I stare at him, my throat tight with emotion. I want to argue, to tell him he’s wrong. But deep down, I know he’s right. I can’t keep running from my feelings forever. Eventually, I’ll have to face them.

But not tonight. And not anytime soon. There’s a time for falling apart, a time for following your dreams. And there’s a time for sucking it up and getting to work.

I’m currently in the latter phase.

I straighten my shoulders, pushing away from the counter. “I appreciate your concern, Simon. But I have to stay focused. The world is counting on me now. I can’t let myself get distracted.”

Simon looks like he wants to argue, but he nods, accepting my decision. “Okay, okay. But just remember, I’m here for you. Whenever you’re ready to talk.”

I manage a small smile, grateful for his support. “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”

But as I walk away, heading back to my room, I know I won’t take him up on his offer. Because no matter how much I might want to, I can’t afford to let myself be vulnerable. Not now. Not ever.