15. Xander

CHAPTER 15

XANDER

W hat does she think she’s doing?

This isn’t the way a queen would act.

Those are the two thoughts that rotate through my mind as Amy stares at me from the top of a table, a dozen people gathered around the base. She keeps dancing with Daphne, and I don’t know whether she can see me or even register that I’m standing in the club with her.

And even though I know it isn’t how a queen should act, and that Jorge is definitely going to have something to say about this when the story hits the media in the morning, I like this side of her.

It’s the side of Amy that the crown will eventually smother if Jorge has his way.

I keep my head down as I weave through the bar, my ball cap casting enough shadows between strobes of the light to keep me hidden.

When I stop at the base of the table, Amy is in the middle of dropping into a crouch. Her legs straighten, and she slowly pulls the rest of herself up, laughing as Daphne grabs her by the hand and twirls her around on the tiny tabletop.

“Amy, we need to talk,” I say, trying to keep my voice even as I reach for her.

I don’t know whether to laugh or scold her, but she makes the choice easy when she kneels in front of me, reaching for the knot in my tie.

Her eyes warm with lust as she looks at me. “You should loosen up and have some fun sometimes too. When was the last time you had fun?”

My hands close over hers before she can pull the tie loose. “You know this is going to be all over the internet tomorrow, right? We’re going to have a media storm on our hands. I don’t want you to have to deal with people insulting you and saying whatever they want about you behind the safety of their keyboards.”

She shrugs, leaning in and skating her lips over mine. “They’re already talking about us. We may as well let them have their fun, and we can have ours.”

Joining her is more tempting than ever as she slips my tie off and loops it around her thigh, knotting it into a makeshift garter beneath the hem that seems to keep climbing higher up her leg.

If she wasn’t drunk, I would be hauling her out of here and straight to bed for the fun she’s suggesting.

“Amy.”

She arches an eyebrow and stands tall again, a new song coming on.

People laugh and jostle each other as they dance near the table, some of them handing Amy drinks. Thankfully, she’s still sober enough to hand them to someone else.

“It’s the king,” someone whispers beside me.

Amy hops down from the table as the song ends. “If you’re going to stand here like a rock all night, you probably should’ve stayed home. You’re going to ruin the fun for everyone.”

“I heard that you were missing.” I tense as people start to turn to look at us. “Your cover’s been blown, and so has mine. We should go back to the castle.”

Her lithe fingers reach for the hem of my shirt, untucking it from my slacks. “Nope. I know you know how to have fun. You used to do it. Don’t let the crown ruin you, Xander.”

“It hasn’t.” I grit my teeth, wishing that I could just throw her over my shoulder and carry her out of there.

Right now, she might not realize how the press is going to spin this, but once the articles hit the news in the morning, things are going to get ugly. People who have never met her are going to have all kinds of things to say about her life.

They’re going to hurt her, and I want to do everything I can to prevent that. I want to protect her from the same mess I went through for years.

And yet, she doesn’t seem to care.

She’s not so drunk that she doesn’t know what she’s doing.

It’s clear from the way the corner of her mouth has an impish curve while she reaches for my top two buttons, flicking them open.

Her hands travel up my chest, sending desire rushing along with them. When her body presses flush against mine and she starts to sway us to the music, I know I’m a goner.

I would give this woman the world on the platter if she asked for it.

And that scares me to no end.

I bite the inside of my cheek, unraveling myself from her. “I have work to do, Amy.”

“One night.” She steps closer to me again, but she doesn’t touch me.

Instead, her eyes do all the work. She looks at me like this is the one thing in the world I can give her to make her happy.

So I do.

“All right, how about we get some water first though?” I ask, already heading for the bar.

Several people part to the side as Amy follows along behind me.

She stops to talk to a woman like she’s known her forever, laughing and joking, both of them busting out dance moves to an American song I don’t recognize.

Amy grins and waves me back to her once I have a bottle of water in my hand. “Xander, this is Lyra. She’s a journalist with the Katastinia Chronicle . Did you know that she’s their entertainment writer?”

The hair on the back of my neck stands. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“You too.” Lyra gives a smile before turning her attention back to Amy. “I love this song! We have to go dance!”

Amy grabs her hand, and they rush off together. Daphne appears out of the crowd and joins them near the DJ.

As more people gather around them, Amy greets all of them like old friends.

Standing to the side and watching her is like being in a theater as the audience falls in love with her.

People gravitate toward Amy like they have to be in her orbit. She welcomes them like they’ve always been there.

And then, when she looks at me, I tuck the bottle of water into my back pocket and join her.

Maybe she has a thing or two to teach me, too.

Amy dangles her heels from one finger, laughing as we walk home, the sun rising behind the cliffs. “You should’ve seen your face when you saw me up on that table.”

“I’m sure it would’ve been picture-worthy.” I grin down at her, stopping to take off my shoes. “Here, wear these. It’s a long walk back to the castle.”

She smiles and puts on the shoes before falling into step with me. “I’m sorry that we took off from security. I know you must’ve been scared when you got the call.”

“I was worried that something was going to happen to you.”

“Nothing did.” Amy nudges me with her hip, sending me to one side. “I am sorry, though. I know you worry.”

“Why did the two of you do it?” I ask, my tone gentle.

Her head tilts back slightly as she looks at the streaks of pink and orange creeping across the sky. “I don’t know who I am. I don’t think I’ve ever known. It just feels like I have to keep moving forward. Like I can never stop and take a moment to figure myself out.”

“You’re more than welcome to take the time now.”

“I’m not, though.”

Guilt burrows in my chest. I was the one who dragged her into this life. I put her in front of the public and told them I was going to marry her. In all of this, I was the one who set the terms and dangled what she wanted most in the world in front of her.

And right now, I hate myself for it.

“Do you ever think that we should call the marriage off?” I ask, my voice wavering a little at the thought. “I know that this can’t be what you wanted for yourself, and I know that it’s not what I wanted either.”

“You’ve asked me before if I think we should call this whole thing off, and I still don’t think we should.” She glances at me from the corner of her eye before kicking a small rock in the road to the side.

“Why not? Are you happy?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“Why?”

Even though I know that pressing her could backfire on me, I like her too much to keep up this charade if it’s too much for her.

I don’t want us to end up resenting each other.

Just because I know I have to stay away from her and keep my feelings out of it doesn’t mean I want to lose her as a friend.

Amy shrugs. “This is the most freedom I’ve ever had in my life. I don’t have to worry about making rent on an apartment I hate. There’s not a single night I spend dreading going to work the next day. I have a chance at getting everything I’ve ever wanted. And to be honest, even when you’re avoiding me, I still think you need someone as much as I do.”

“I’m not avoiding you on purpose,” I say quickly, though the lie is bitter on my tongue.

Amy scoffs, amusement shining in her eyes as her gaze connects with mine. “Yes, you are, and that’s fine. For now. I know that this is the loss of your freedom. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked you to be celibate through our marriage.”

“If that’s what you asked of me, we’re doing a horrible job at that.”

“It’s just sex.” Her cheeks turn a deep shade of pink. “There doesn’t have to be any more meaning beyond it than that. We’re two adults who enjoy each other’s company, and we can continue to do so for the duration of the marriage.”

“You sound like you’re reading the words directly from a contract.” My tone is teasing as I reach out and tug on a loose strand of her hair, curly from her dancing in the warm club.

“I’m not. I’ve just never done the whole friends-with-benefits thing before. I’ve never had time. It’s more long-term, sad relationships that fizzle out over the course of a year at most.”

“I don’t think you can call those long-term, then.”

“Well, maybe not,” she says. “Either way, we need each other. I don’t see why, if we’re looking for a little stress relief, we can’t go to the other person.”

It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her that there’s this small part of me — that seems to be growing larger every day — that wants more for us.

Except if I let that happen, then I’m going to lose her like everyone else I’ve lost in my life.

A black car pulls alongside us, and a member of the security team looks out from the open window. “Jorge sent me to find you.”

I nod and open the back door, gesturing for Amy to slide in. She bites her bottom lip before doing so, getting settled against the leather seat and stretching her legs out in the wide space in front of her.

I sit beside her, looking at the black partition that separates us from the driver. “You scared the hell out of me tonight when the security team said they couldn’t find you. I thought maybe you packed your bags and left.”

Amy toes off my shoes. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Reaching for her thigh, I slip my finger beneath the tie, the silk nearly as soft as her skin. “Don’t leave.”

One moment she’s beside me, and the next she’s straddling my lap, hands cupping either side of my face as she looks down at me. “I’m not leaving.”

What she doesn’t say is that she’s not leaving until the end of the contract.

Right now, I can’t be bothered to care. Her lips are a siren song, calling me to drown in her, and like a fool, I give in again.

Amy rolls her hips, grinding against my erection as it throbs against my pants, straining to be closer to the heat between her legs.

I grip her hips, dragging her against me until her soft moans fill the car.

If she’s fine with friends with benefits, then I’m going to make the most of it for the morning.

When she wakes up later today, everything is going back to the way it was. Friends and nothing more despite the attraction between us.

Anything else is too risky.

Amy pulls out of the kiss, thumb sweeping along my jaw. “I lost you there for a moment. Come back to me.”

I groan, cupping the back of her head and pulling her into me. Nipping at her bottom lip, I urge her mouth open, tongue twisting with hers.

She reaches between us for the zipper of my slacks, undoing it and slipping her hand into my boxers.

Aching, I throb in her hand as she works my cock out of the fabric constraining it.

She slides off my lap, kneeling on the floor of the car in front of me with a sultry smile on her face.

I tilt my hips, letting her tug the slacks and boxers a little lower before her tongue traces along the seam on the underside of my length.

With a moan that sends vibrations coursing through my body, she takes me deeper into her mouth, tongue swirling around the head.

Her teeth graze against the sensitive flesh as I scrape her hair back into my fist, wanting to see her clearly as she tries to take all of me.

“Good girl.” I rock my hips, pushing myself deeper into her. “Just like that.”

She hollows her cheeks and takes me deeper, pushing me close to the edge.

I pull her up by her hair before my hands drop to her hips, spinning her around. She hovers above me for a moment as I grip my cock, sliding it through her slick folds.

Her back presses against my chest as she sinks down onto me, her pussy dripping wet as it wraps around me.

My hand dips between her legs, pressing against her clit as she rocks her hips back and forth. Her inner walls shudder around me as she arches her back, letting me thrust deeper into her.

Amy’s soft moans make me harder. “I’m going to come.”

“I bet you’ve been thinking about this all night.” I wrap one hand around her throat lightly, pulling her back to me. My thumb skips over her racing pulse. “You’re soaking wet.”

“Yes.” She rolls her hips, grinding harder into my hand with each rock of her hips until her body starts to quiver.

My cock throbs faster as I drive harder into her, keeping her pinned against me as she comes. Her arousal coats me as I come, teasing her clit until her body is spent and her chest is heaving.

When she turns to look at me, completely sated, all I want to do is take her up to my bed when we get to the castle and spend the night with her wrapped in my arms.

However, I know that the second she’s asleep, I’m going to slip out of bed and head to the couch.

Keeping feelings from developing will be impossible if I spend a day with her that close to me.

Even tonight, it felt like I was on the edge of a cliff and ready to throw myself over for her.

It can’t happen again.