12. Amy

CHAPTER 12

AMY

I take a shuddering breath, trying to hold back the tears that spring to my eyes as I watch another clip of my name being dragged through the mud.

I have nearly two dozen missed calls from Gabby, but I can’t explain what’s happening yet. Not to her.

She’s going to be disappointed that I didn’t tell her myself, and then she’s going to want to hunt down everyone online who has something negative to say about me.

Xander walks into the library and takes the phone from my hand, setting it on a high shelf. “No more. We’re not going to sit in here feeling miserable when we could be working towards making things better.”

“I don’t see how anything is going to get better.”

He pulls out his own phone and puts on a slow tune that reminds me vaguely of the way an autumn night feels. It’s as if the melody is made of colorful leaves drifting on the wind.

“It’s time to teach you one of the traditional dances. We’re going to be expected to do it at a charity event that’s coming up.” Xander holds out his hand, already looking light on his feet, though all he’s done is take a step forward.

I’ve never felt more incapable of doing something in my life.

There hasn’t been a single time where I’ve danced in a way that doesn’t involve rolling my hips and hoping it’s enough to convince someone to buy me another shot. One more drink to convince me that I can dance and that I’m not making a fool of myself.

And now I’m sober, and I’ve never felt more uncoordinated in my life.

Xander leads me through the steps several times, and by the end of it, my feet are aching, and I still have no clue what I’m doing.

It’s lively and full of switching partners — nothing I can do while standing on Xander’s feet.

We sit on the ground, chests heaving and sweat sticking hair to the back of my neck. The corners of my eyes feel prickly as I lay back and stare at the painted ceiling and the towering bookshelves that stretch up to it.

“This charity event is going to be a nightmare if it hinges on my dancing,” I say. “Xander, maybe you should rethink this and find someone who can keep up with everything the job requires. That person isn’t me.”

Xander pushes to his feet. “I think we might just be starting in the wrong place.”

“I don’t think there is a right place. I think that this entire thing is going to blow up in our faces.”

“Getting someone else isn’t an option because I don’t want anyone else.”

And there it is, that damn fluttering of attraction that I stuff back down into the pits of the earth where it belongs.

I roll back my shoulders as I stand, blinking the tears away. “I still don’t know if I can do this. I don’t have the first clue about how to do anything a royal does.”

He grins and bows low, throwing his arm out to the side. “I’m at your service.”

When he gives me that charming smile, I’m sure that our business-only arrangement is going to be the death of me.

Xander straightens and grabs one of the books from the shelf, holding it out in front of me. “The next lesson is going to be the history of Katastinia.”

I groan, running my hand through my hair. “Are you sure that’s where we should go next? I still have no clue how to dance, and after the interview yesterday, it’s clear that I have no idea how to talk to the press either.”

“Nobody has any idea how to talk to the press,” he says, tucking the book beneath his arm and pulling another off the shelf. “You should’ve seen me when I first started doing interviews.”

“You were probably a child.”

“I’m talking about the ones I started doing once I was twenty. You would think after ten years of being made to do interviews, I would’ve been better at speaking in front of people, but I used to have this stammer when I got nervous. Spent years working with a speech therapist to get rid of it.”

“You did?”

He grabs a third book before heading to a table with two cream armchairs near the windows. “I did. It used to be the talk of the country. All of them were glad that Yorgos was going to be king since he was the one who had it together.”

“Must’ve hurt to hear that.” I sit down in a chair, tucking one leg beneath me.

Xander drags the other chair over beside me, dropping two of the books onto the coffee table and opening the other one. “It wasn’t great. I swear, I used to find new ways to embarrass myself in front of the media multiple times a week back then.”

“As bad as being called a gold-digging orphan on live television?”

“I told you that we were going to have to use the orphan card eventually.” Xander smirks and opens the book, handing it to me. “We’re going to have to start back at the beginning, when Katastinia was a baby country in the grand scheme of things. It’s nearly nine hundred years since my family took the throne.”

“How the hell do you hold onto power in a country for nine hundred years?” I grab the book, skimming through the first few paragraphs on the page.

Sure enough, he’s telling the truth.

Xander shrugs and shifts closer to me. “From what I’ve been told, my family has always seen the value in their people and doing right by them. Now, maybe that didn’t apply to everyone who has sat on the throne, but the family isn’t afraid to force the issue of abdication either.”

I hum, flipping through more of the pages, skimming through the history. “I can read these before bed. I want to know how to do the other things. Ones that aren’t going to get me dragged through the media.”

“It gets old eventually. They find someone else to latch onto.”

I close the book with a dull thud and set it on top of the others. “I don’t think you understand how bad this is for me.”

He hesitates like he’s reaching for me before pulling his hand back. “I’m never going to understand exactly what they’re putting you through, and I wish that I did. However, I do know how bad it was for me.”

“Yeah?”

“In addition to the stammer, there was the constant comparison to my brother and the fact that I was never going to be good enough. No matter what I did or said, it wasn’t enough.”

“Why did it matter to them? You’re different people.”

“Yes, but to the interviewers, it makes for better media if they analyze every misstep you make. They twist everything until it’s one tangled web, and you don’t know which way is up and which is down.”

“And we just have to put up with that?”

“There’s not much we can do about it.” Xander gives me a sympathetic smile. “The public is always going to have their opinions.”

“Okay, so how do you do it?”

He presses his lips together and looks out the window at the gardens, the sun shining high above the treetops and the roses, not a gust of wind in sight.

“There’s a farmers market in town today. When I think I’m out of touch with the people, I like to go and spend my time with them.”

“I thought we weren’t supposed to do that. The security team told me that it was a bad idea to spend much time in town.”

“They follow orders from the head of security, who takes his orders from Jorge. Beyond that, they’ve always been overly cautious, and I think after the interview yesterday, it would do the people good to get to know you and see that you’re just another woman.”

I light up, getting to my feet when he does. “Are we going out?”

He nods and heads for the door. “Come on. It’s going to be a task to give the guards the slip.”

Laughing, I tilt my face to the sun, basking in the rays. Xander walks along beside me, his hand shooting out to catch me as I stumble over a rock on the ground.

He shakes his head as I regain my balance. “You’re going to get us caught before we even get to town.”

“Nobody knows we left, and we’re maybe a few dozen feet from town now. Just be happy that we got out of there.”

Xander looks back at the castle. “Look, you need to do your best to not draw too much attention to yourself. Even though being in town is safe enough, you never know who people are.”

“Do you worry this much when you sneak out on your own, or is this reserved for me?”

“I worry about you,” he says. “I know what I’m doing when I go out, and I know how not to get in trouble with the palace. You don’t.”

Snorting, I look at him over my shoulder. “You seem to forget one quick search of your name brings up hundreds of pictures of all the trouble you have gotten into.”

“You’ve been looking me up?” He stuffs his hands into the pockets of his shorts, the corner of his mouth tipping upward.

“I have to know what I’m getting into, since I didn’t know much about it when I first agreed.” I nudge him with my shoulder playfully, grinning when he rolls his eyes.

“Would you have changed anything if you knew about my reputation beforehand?”

“To be fair, you did tell me that you slept with a lot of women,” I say as we enter the town.

Heads turn and people whisper to each other as we make our way down the street to the lines of colorful booths set up outside shops.

Beatriz is the only familiar face I see, rushing out of the doorway of her café and over to me. “You didn’t tell me that you moved here for the prince.”

I wince and glance at the people watching us. “I wanted to meet you as myself.”

She grins and pulls me into a warm hug, guiding me into the café. “Come on. There’s a new vanilla iced latte recipe I’m trying out, and I could use a couple guinea pigs.”

Xander follows us, but he hesitates at the doorway. His eyes flit around the little building, taking in the whitewashed stone walls and the aged wooden floors. It’s like he’s looking for a threat in every inch of the room before deciding whether or not it’s safe to step inside.

Beatriz scurries behind the counter. “The pair of you take a seat and never mind the people watching. They’re all too nosy for their own good.”

Her words boom through the space, and the customers at other tables turn back to their own conversations. People still gawk in the window, but Beatriz rolls her eyes and glares at them until they leave.

The espresso machine whirs as she pulls two shots before mixing up the iced lattes and bringing them over to the table.

She pulls over a third chair and sits down, crossing one leg over the other. “You’re going to have to tell me how the two of you met. This one here didn’t tell me a thing about you, Your Majesty.”

Xander sips his drink, gaze flitting to me like he’s unsure of being here. “Call me Xander, please,” he says.

“Good.” Beatriz nods her approval, leaning forward and folding her arms on the table. “I think Your Majesty sounds pompous, and from what I’ve seen of the interviews you’ve done since taking the throne, you’re anything but.”

I wrap my hands around the plastic coffee cup, wishing that the ground would open and swallow me whole. “Beatriz, you know people are going to be upset if they hear you talking like that.”

She clicks her tongue. “I don’t care what they think, and you shouldn’t either. People are always going to have their opinions, and to be honest, what they think of you is none of your business.”

Chuckling, Xander holds his coffee, tipping it toward her. “This is the best coffee I’ve ever had. You’re going to have to come to the castle and teach the others how to make it this way.”

Beatriz beamed. “Not going to happen. It’s an old family recipe, and it dies with me.”

Xander groans before launching into another conversation with her while I just watch the two of them.

If every interaction we have with the public is this smooth, maybe being the future queen will be easier than I thought.

I step through the glass doors that lead to the pool, dropping my towel on one of the loungers.

The day in town was long, and I spoke to more people than I think I’ve met throughout the rest of my life. All I want to do is go for a swim and then spend the rest of the night in my chambers.

My chambers.

That still sounds so wrong. I don’t know why there’s both a sitting room and a study attached to my bedroom and en suite, but there it is.

And then after the marriage, I’ll be moving into Xander’s room. We’re going to have to act like husband and wife.

Maybe I could convince him to move the desk out of his study and put a bed in there. It wouldn’t have to be large, just something I could curl up in at the end of the night without thinking that my attraction to him is going to ruin everything between us.

I sigh and step to the edge of the pool, toes dangling before I push off and arch my body, diving into the cool water.

When I surface, Xander is sitting on the edge in nothing but a pair of black swim trunks, showing off the smattering of hair that trails from his chest all the way down beyond his waistband.

There’s a tightening in my core as I dip back beneath the water.

It’s not as effective as a cold shower, but it’s a moment to get myself together and stop thinking about the afternoon we spent together.

“What are you out here thinking so hard about?” Xander asks as he slides off the edge and into the water.

I slick my hair back from my face. “Nothing, really.”

“Doesn’t seem that way to me.” He stays in the shallow end, floating on his back.

I swim closer to him, my heart hammering in my chest. “I guess I’m thinking about everything going on. It feels like I’m not getting it, but then when we were in the village today, that felt natural.”

“Why?” He tilts his head back to glance at me, concern in his eyes.

“Beatriz is easy to be around. She treats me like I’m Amy and not just this woman who showed up to marry you and run a country she knows nothing about. Daphne and you treat me like that too, of course, but you’re pretty much the only ones. With everything else, it feels like I’m an invader and people are just waiting for me to leave.”

Xander stands up, droplets of water running down the planes of his chest. “I don’t want you to leave.”

“I’m not going to.”

“Because of the money?” he asks, his tone even, though the look he’s giving me is searching.

I fight past the lump in my throat. “Not just because of the money.”

The muscle in his jaw ticks, nostrils flaring for a moment, but he says nothing, instead moving closer to me.

His hands skim my waist. Sparks dance across my skin, and my heart races.

It’s only been a few days, but it feels like the man in front of me has buried himself deep into my soul. There’s no untangling the two of us.

Right here is where it feels like I was meant to be.

At least it does with the rest of the world fading away, leaving only the two of us in the shallow end of the pool, standing inches from each other but nobody saying a word.

And then one of us moves closer to the other.

It feels like I’m free-falling as his lips press against mine. His fingers dig into the flesh at my hips as I run my hands up his muscled biceps, fingers sinking into his hair.

I tug him closer as his teeth sink into my bottom lip. My mouth opens, and his tongue slides against mine as he walks us backward.

The edge of the pool hits the middle of my shoulder blades, digging in as Xander gets impossibly closer to me.

His thigh presses between my legs as I grind against him, my pussy pulsing with need as he reaches for the knot at the nape of my neck.

My bikini top falls away, my nipples tightening as his hands slide lower, undoing the knot around my waist.

Xander leans back, ripping the fabric from my body and tossing it out of the pool. “You’re beautiful.”

His large hands cup my breasts, thumbs brushing over my nipples.

When he dips his head to take one into his mouth, I slide my hand between us and into the waistband of his swim trunks.

His cock throbs in my hand as I wrap it around his silky skin, slowly sliding while he tugs on my nipples. He teases the stiff peaks while I brush my thumb over the head of his erection.

Xander groans, his hips rocking forward. “You’re going to be the death of me. I hope you know that.”

“We should probably stop before this goes too far,” I say, gasping as he slips the fabric at my core to the side, pushing his fingers into me.

He presses them against my inner walls, rocking deeper with each thrust. “Do you want to stop?”

“No.” My nails dig into his chest as I try to hold on, head tilting back as his thumb presses against my clit. “Don’t stop.”

His fingers rock faster, driving harder and deeper into me. I roll my hips in time with his movements, trying to relieve the feeling building at the base of my spine.

I grip his cock harder as his mouth closes over mine again, the kiss hot and slanting as I come on his fingers.

Waves of pleasure crash over me as he keeps thrusting. It’s only once my body stops shaking that he pulls his fingers out, his hands going to my hips, tugging at the strings there.

The fabric falls away and I slide his swim trunks down his legs, desperate for him.

Xander grabs my thighs, lifting me up, keeping me pinned between his body and the wall.

I wrap my legs around his waist. “Please.”

With a smirk, he inches into me, head dropping to my neck. He sucks on my pulse as I wriggle my hips, trying to take more of him while he keeps holding back.

Xander chuckles, teeth grazing my jaw. “You’re soaked.”

“I need you.” I tug on his hair, pulling his head back until he’s looking at me. “Now.”

His hips rock forward as he buries himself to the hilt. My pussy clenches tight around him as I roll my hips, getting used to the feeling of him filling me in a way nobody else ever has.

It feels like we were made to fit together.

“I want you to come on my cock,” he says, his voice raspy in my ear as he rocks his hips harder and faster.

The bite of the edge of the pool into my skin only turns me on more. I’m aching as he drives deeper, each thrust sending him rubbing up against my clit until it feels like I’m about to explode.

Xander’s hand drifts up to the side of my throat, his thumb drifting over my pulse.

It’s the casual and possessive touch paired with a hard roll of his hips that sends me crashing over the edge of another orgasm, pussy clenching around him as he throbs inside me.

Xander comes a moment later, his cock stiffening and pushing deeper into me, where he holds himself until we’re both spent.

When he pulls out and looks down at me, my heart starts crashing.

“I don’t think I can go back to my chambers without you tonight,” he says.

Biting the inside of my cheek, I run my hands up his chest, wanting to spend the rest of the night wrapped around his body. “Take me to bed, then.”

His grin spreads wide as he takes me by the hand and leads me out of the pool area, stopping long enough to grab towels from the loungers before we race up the stairs.

Laughing, we stumble into his chambers, losing the towels as we move through the sitting room and into his bedroom.

As we fall into the bed, all I can do is hope that he’s still next to me when I wake up in the morning.