34. Addi

THIRTY-FOUR

As I turn off the water, soap suds gather at the bottom of the shower. I don't feel any lighter like I was hoping. My mind is still wrapped up, consumed with thoughts of the exact person I was trying to work out of my system.

Brody.

Fuck.

That escalated quickly. I don't know what I was doing. My body took over, and the second his lips pressed against mine, I lost every piece of logic that I'm usually so careful to keep at the forefront. Apparently, I'm strong, but not stronger than the needs of my lady parts. She's the real boss around here it seems.

Was it worth it? Hell yeah.

Am I wondering if there's regret mixed in there now? Definitely.

Is there hope it will all be over with now? That they will all leave me alone? I think so.

Fuck, I don't know.

I should want that. I should want to go back to living my quiet life without those four assholes, but it seems I'm a glutton for punishment.

No, Addi. It was just sex. Once. One and done. That's what Brody had promised. Until he didn't.

Swiping a hand down my face, I grab the navy towel I hung earlier, wrapping it around my body as I step from the shower stall. I look at myself in the vanity mirror that stretches the entire length of the opposite wall.

I can see the ghost of a small mark on my throat from Brody's touch and it makes my thighs tingle. I know if I look at my back and my legs, I'll find more.

I shouldn't like it as much as I do.

Abandoning my reflection, I turn for the door. I just need to hide away in my room for the night and give myself some time, focus on some self-care before I turn all of my attention back to my classes.

With a nod, I step into the hallway, but the newfound spring in my step is paused when I see someone braced against my bedroom door.

Not just someone.

Cassian.

His brown hair is messy from running his fingers through it, and his head is hanging low as he braces his arms against my door. A white fitted tee is sculpted to his abs and the jeans he's wearing mold around his ass like sin. With open-laced boots, he looks far better than he should.

His head whips to me instantly, his eyes darkening as his nostrils flare. His green eyes are narrowed and consuming, while his jaw tics with irritation. My grip on the towel tightens as I open my mouth, but I don't get to release a breath, never mind a single word, before he's barreling into me.

My body stiffens at the impact, but we don't hit the ground like I expect. We're moving, not far, and a moment later, we're still again. My back is pressed against the mirror in the bathroom, the vanity right beside me, and the empty shower stalls across the room.

Fucking hell.

Stuck between fight, flight, or freeze, I gape at him, eager to slam my fist into his face and get the fuck out of here, but the hold he has on me isn't going to be easy to escape.

Chest to chest, he tilts his head down, running the tip of his nose up my throat, and I shiver at the contact, failing to come up with anything to say. His hands shift, gripping my hips over the towel, and it sparks my brain back to life.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

He runs his nose along my jawline, his fingers digging into my sides as I gasp.

"It's true," he rasps, more and more intoxicating with every breath I take as I frown in confusion.

"What is?" I sound far too breathless, and it pisses me off.

"Don't play dumb."

"You're the one showing up at my room out of the blue claiming things are true. I have no idea what you're referring to," I state with a pointed look, and he cocks a brow at me.

"Technically, we're in the bathroom."

I roll my eyes. "Technically, you're pissing me off. What the fuck do you want, Cassian?" I bite, my heart rate accelerating as he leans back, emerald green eyes meeting mine.

"I want to hear you say you fucked Brody."

My chest clenches. I was hoping he would just be pissed at me and ignore me for the rest of time. Apparently, I was wrong.

Gulping, I fail to hide the smallest hint of nerves that creep up my spine. "I fucked Brody."

The words hang in the air between us for a beat before his hand snakes around my throat, mirroring Brody's mark from earlier.

"What did you think that would achieve?" My eyes narrow further, unsure of what he wants me to say, and he shakes his head in annoyance. "Brody told me what you said. What you thought would come from getting under him."

"Technically, it was against a tree," I snap, using his own sass back at him, but it doesn't hit the mark like I'd hoped.

"Technically, it doesn't make a difference. His dick went right here, is that correct?"

I gasp as he flicks the towel open, cupping my pussy in the next breath.

My body tenses, but not with the desire to fight, no matter how much I try to summon it.

Fuck.

"Get off me."

He fucking smirks as he shakes his head.

"Say it like you mean it, Addi." The challenge is clear, fueling the anger I'm desperate to launch at him, but he moves the tip of his finger just an inch and we both feel it. He looks down at where we're connected, swirling the pad of his finger softly before looking at me with a gleam in his eyes I've never seen before. "Say it while you're not getting wet against my hand, Addi."

"I don't know what you mean," I rasp, hands clenching at my sides as I try to push him away, slam my fists into his face…anything, but I'm frozen and at his mercy.

"Don't play dumb, Addi. It doesn't suit you."

I shrug, trying to act as unaffected as possible, but we both know it's a sham. "I fucked your friend. Now you have to let someone else challenge me." That's the logic I'm sticking with, but any hope of it sticking evaporates when his smirk turns into a full-blown grin.

"And that's what you told Brody?" he asks, his finger still dancing the gentlest sequence over my entrance. I nod, unable to find the words as I focus on keeping my breathing even. "And what did he say?"

The memory flickers in my mind, but I shake it off. "It doesn't matter."

"I think it does," he pushes, earning another eye roll.

"Of course you would."

"How sheltered has your life been, Addi?"

My nostrils flare, and I'm not sure if it's because of his bullshit question or the fact that his fingers have paused. "Not very."

"Are you sure?" he presses, leaning closer so his lips drag over my cheek as he speaks.

"What does that mean?" I hate that I keep asking this question. Every situation, every moment, I'm out of my depth, eager to know more. My curiosity is becoming a burden, and at this stage, I'm certain it's going to be the death of me.

"It means that there are more men than women in this world."

"I know that." What does that have to do with right now, though?

He shifts, tilting my head back to look down into my eyes as he speaks his next words. "You should also know that it means men share." I gulp, and he feels the movement against his palm, his grin turning more sinister with every second that passes. "Do I need to spell it out to you?"

His asshole attitude pisses me off, bringing me back to the present and making me acutely aware that I need to put as much distance between us as possible, right the fuck now, before I do something stupid.

"No. You've made yourself clear. You can leave now."

"I'm not going anywhere," he breathes against the shell of my ear as he drags his finger to my clit, spreading my folds so fucking slowly as he draws circles around the already tight nub.

Fuck.

I slam my palms against his chest, silently proud of myself for doing so, but as I shove at him, he increases the pressure at my core.

"Harder, Addi. I like it harder," he rasps, pressing his length against my thigh, and I force back a groan. "And honestly, knowing that my friend, my brother, fucked you hours ago only makes me want to be inside you even more now."

Scoffing, I shake my head as he tightens his hold on my throat. "Forget it."

"Are you telling me you don't feel it, too? Deep down, you know you love the fact that you claimed me in the duel. You like how strong it makes you feel, but most of all, you like how you get the big bad wolf in your pocket. Admit it or I'll happily prove it to you." He hammers the words home by thrusting two fingers into my core.

My back arches as my fingers curl into his t-shirt.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"Now the question is, do you like the advantages that come with you winning the duel more or less than the title you now wear?" His fingers swirl, making my legs weaken.

He senses the desire in my veins, and a moment later he's placing me on the vanity. The towel falls open, leaving me on display as he takes his fill. His fingers don't stop. Not that I want them to; my body is in control now.

I grip the edge of vanity, at a loss for words as he blows his breath over my nipples, smirking when they pebble, eager for his attention.

"Tell me you don't want it," he murmurs, grabbing my waist so my pussy is at the edge of the vanity. He maneuvers my legs until he has easy access to what he wants before dropping to his knees. "Tell me you don't want me to get a taste of you."

My heart races out of my control as I gape down at him. "I don't," I croak, the lie evident even to my own ears.

"Say it louder." He swipes his tongue from my entrance to my clit. The groan that parts my lips is raw, desperate, and needy.

Dammit.

He repeats the motion, and my body jerks with need. My head falls back, my eyes falling closed, but I wince as my head cracks against the mirror behind me. Fuck, it hurts, but the adrenaline coursing through my veins makes it impossible for me to focus on anything but Cassian between my legs.

His fingers find the most satiable rhythm as he nips at my clit, and I'm helpless to the ecstasy that takes over. I have nothing to blame it on but myself. I want this, whether I want to admit it out loud or not is another story. A story I'm not even willing to entertain at this moment, but the only thing stopping me from reaching the peak of euphoria is definitely myself.

Blinking at him, I find his eyes already locked on me, and as he swirls his fingers and grazes his teeth over my clit, I fall apart.

I can't control my cries as I ride out wave after wave on his tongue. My limbs fall limp as I come down from the pleasure coursing through me, but I don't get a second to bask in the afterglow before I'm placed on my feet. I lose my balance as he spins me, and I have to blink a few times before I can force my gaze to settle on our reflection in the mirror, just in time to feel the tip of his cock at my entrance.

Our eyes meet in the glass, my pulse thundering in my ears, but as the silence descends over us, it's quickly broken by the creak of the door opening.

"Get the fuck out," Cassian growls, his voice dark and twisted as it quickly falls shut again.

It's enough to bring me to my senses, and I stand tall, ready to push away from him, but he uses the movement to his advantage, driving his cock deep into my pussy as I cry out with pleasure again.

"Tell me you don't want it, and mean it. Really fucking mean it, Addi."

I blink at his reflection, noting the blood smeared across the glass, and my gut knows that's from where my head collided earlier.

It's intense. He's intense. Maybe if I give in just one more time, it will be enough. It has to be enough.

Acceptance drapes over me in a warm embrace, and instead of using words to agree, I shift, grinding against him. It's his turn to moan, the sound feral, setting off a bomb inside of him as he grips my hips and slams into me with raw, desperate need.

Holding onto the vanity, I watch him watch where we're joined, sweat beading at his temple as he snarls with every thrust. There's nothing sweet about this, just feral ferocity that is driving me to the top of the mountain at a breakneck pace.

"That's it, Alpha, clench around my cock. I fucking love it."

Alpha? What does that mean?

I don't get to ask as my body screams at his words. My climax starts in my toes, claiming every inch of my body one piece at a time until there's nothing left but my release. His hand wraps around my throat, tightening as he finds his release along with me.

It goes on forever, every drop wrung between us until we're a panting mess.

The reality of what I've just done washes over me more quickly this time, and I curse, wiping a hand down my face as I look anywhere but at him. He must sense the shift in me because he wordlessly slips from my body, giving me enough space to grab my towel and wrap it around me.

"You're bleeding. Let me heal you," he murmurs, and I shake my head. The reminder instantly makes my head hurt.

"I'm fine." I head for the door, but he grabs hold of my arm, halting me in my tracks.

"Let me heal you, Addi," he repeats, grabbing my chin with his free hand to force me to look at him.

"Get the fuck off me," I bark, yanking my arm out of his grasp, and he lets me go. I take a step back, irritated that I hate the distance between us, but when he doesn't barrel toward me again, I slip the door open and make a run for it.

A moment later, the sound of my bedroom door clicking shut behind me rings in my ears, offering me the slightest teasing of a sense of peace I'm not sure I want. I hear the floorboards creak from the other side of the door, and I know it's him.

Holding my breath, I wait for what comes next, but nothing does. After a few minutes, he retreats, leaving me alone with my thoughts, and I'm not sure I like them right now.