16. Addi

SIXTEEN

Iflop down on my bed with a sigh full of relief and bewilderment. I don't know how I've made it to the end of the week, but it's here, and I'm living for it. Classes have been easy enough, and the professors are focused on getting us comfortable and settled before we start taking on bigger challenges.

We haven't had combat at all this week. They're saving that for Monday, and I'm excited about it.

I make a mental note to get some exercise in this weekend in preparation. I don't want to walk into class lacking when I know I was made for it. On the ranch, my father would put me through my paces without the watchful gaze of others, but I'm more than ready to rise to the occasion now that there is a crowd.

I've managed to keep my head down and avert Raiden's deathly stare, meaning no more power struggles or unnecessary arguments since he whisked me away and pinned me to a tree. Kryll has offered me a knowing smirk here and there but has otherwise kept to himself, while Cassian is too busy frowning at the ground as if the world rests on his shoulders, not noticing anything or anyone around him.

Even Brody has been…surprisingly quiet. My gut tells me that Raiden has reiterated his thoughts on me and the mage has fallen in line. It's a relief to have no distractions in class, but there's a part of me, a teeny, tiny part, that misses his playfulness and our interactions.

But that would be stupid, so I squash the thoughts instantly.

I didn't want any distractions. That's how I'm going to survive this place and make my claim as heir of the new kingdom.

Sitting, I cross my legs and glance at the sage and lavender still on my desk. I need to put my wards in place. I've known how to do it for a few days now, but something has been holding me back. I don't know whether it's the fear of it not working as it's supposed to or because I don't want to give myself a strong ward to allow me to let my guard down and relax here.

As much as I want to be here, it's not my first choice for getting the heir's crown. Once I can get the ward to work and allow my mind to relax a little, I'm sure I'll be more accepting of everything set out before me.

My eyes drift closed and flashes of Nora and my father appear on the back of my eyelids. If they were here now, I can picture the pointed looks from my dad and snickers from Nora as he berated me for letting my thoughts and feelings get the better of me.

The wards are necessary; not just for me to even consider letting my guard down, but also to protect me when I am most vulnerable.

Opening my eyes, I rise from the bed and swiftly grab the sage and lavender. Striking a match from the pack Professor Morgan gave us, I set it to the tips of both herbs and let the smell slowly fill the air. I dance the smoke around as instructed, walking the full length of my room from wall to wall, even clambering over my bed in a hurry to ensure there's not a spot missed.

I come to a stop by the window and repeat the words out loud as we practiced.

"Me incolumem serva, me his moenia serva."

"Me incolumem serva, me his moenia serva."

"Me incolumem serva, me his moenia serva."

"Me incolumem serva, me his moenia serva."

"Me incolumem serva, me his moenia serva."

Waiting with bated breath, I watch the smoke thicken around me until I can barely see a single piece of furniture in the room. A vortex starts in the center, coiling outward until the smoke sits around the room like a bubble. Just as I think it, it pops, the tendrils of the smoke clinging to the walls before disappearing from sight.

Holy shit.

I did it.

Giddiness tingles through me as I do a little happy dance, beyond pleased with myself that it worked exactly as Morgan explained.

I can do this. I can fucking do this.

I smile so big my jaw begins to ache. It feels so foreign on my face, but I wear it with pride. I really was doubting myself, and it was holding me back. The subconscious self-doubt really is coming out to play, but there's no space for it in my mind with everything else going on.

Stepping back toward the bed, I finally shake out of my cloak, tossing it aside without care when a vibrating buzz echoes through the room. My gaze darts to my nightstand, my feet rooted to the floor for a split second before I rush toward it.

My cell phone dances inside the otherwise-empty drawer, the screen filled with a flash of blue, and my heart races rapidly in my chest. Snatching it up, I gape at it for a moment, but before I can answer it or end the call altogether, it stops. My heart sinks along with it, regret getting the better of me, but a moment later the screen is alive again with the same image.

"I'm going to kill you," I snipe, pressing my cell phone to my ear as my free hand presses against my chest.

"Hey to you, too."

My eyes narrow like she can see how mad I am. "What are you doing?" I push, stress continuing to boil inside of me.

"Hey, Sis. How have you been? I'm missing you so hard. Do you miss me too? Oh, Addi, you shouldn't." Her teasing calms me a little, but my body is still tense as I edge toward the window and peer outside.

"I told you not to call," I grumble, despite loving the sound of her voice in my ear.

"You say a lot of things I don't listen to," she retorts, and I scoff, a smile creeping back across my face.

"You were supposed to listen to that, Nora."

"Well, Dad said I could."

I roll my eyes. "Of course he did."

Silence descends over us for a moment, and for the first time in what feels like forever, it comforts me. There is no awkwardness, no wondering what someone's intentions are, nothing but a serene sense of relief that only comes from two people in my life: Nora and my Dad.

"How are things?" she asks after a moment, and I sigh, trying to piece together a sentence that would even make sense.

"Good, quieter without you here," I murmur, not wanting to get into the drama that seemed to follow me over the first few days. She would love it. She's the biggest gossip I know, and there's no point filling her in on things that are done with now.

"I miss you."

My heart aches at her words. I'm two years older than Nora, a fact I never let her forget, even though sometimes it feels like we're twins. She's a part of me, sometimes that feels more true than anything else in this world, and hearing her voice only confirms how much I miss her now that we're apart.

"I miss you too."

"Good. Now don't give me any of that crap and tell me what's going on."

Moving away from the window and the view of a few students strolling along the pathways, I take a seat on my bed. "It's…I don't know what's going on, if I'm honest. So much is happening all at once. I'm just focusing on putting one foot in front of another. I can't really say it's not what I expected because I had no idea what to expect, but it has a way of catching me off guard." The truth falls from my lips effortlessly, even though I'm not being specific about much. She always has a way of making me loose-lipped.

"Have you gotten in trouble?"

"Define trouble."

Her laugh echoes in the air and I can picture her falling back in a fit of chuckles.

"You have. I love it!"

"Trouble? What trouble?" My father's voice washes over me, mingled with Nora's, and I feel a sense of calmness I haven't been able to manage since I got here.

"You're on speaker and Dad's here."

I mean, I gathered that now, but thanks, Nora.

"Hey, Dad."

"Hi, my love. What's this trouble I hear?"

I wave my hand dismissively, as if he can see. "Nothing crazy, just…origins being origins," I ramble, not wanting to get into the specifics with him. He has a way of overanalyzing things, which is great when he's there to help me make sense of it, but that's not the case now and it will only leave my head spinning in a million different directions.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he offers, and I smile, appreciating his calmer approach.

"I'm tired of living it, talking about it isn't going to help," I admit, and he sighs. The sound makes my chest clench. I don't want to bring him any more stress.

"Take a deep breath, Addi. You were made for this."

I feel his words deep in my soul, taking root and banishing all of the self-doubt that threatened me earlier.

"I know, but dealing with closed-minded people is harder than I expected," I admit, wiping a hand down my face.

"It's going to take time, my love. We knew this, you especially, but you are exactly where you're supposed to be, being exactly who you are supposed to be. I'm proud of you, Addi. So proud."

"Thanks, Dad."

Silence dances around us for a beat before he speaks again. "They televised the opening speech from the dean."

I gulp, and I don't know why. It shouldn't be an issue, should it?

"We didn't see you," Nora adds, and I scoff.

"That's because they weren't focusing on the fae, and you know it."

"True." My father's reply is solemn, slightly defeated, but he quickly clears his throat, dismissing the doubt. "Is the support system for the fae good there?"

"As far as I know," I answer honestly, recalling my impromptu meetings with Professor Fairbourne. He's been good. Annoying, and overstepping, but he's a good support system nonetheless.

A knock at the door startles me and I frown at the offending white wood that stands between me and whoever is on the other side.

"Is that a knock at your door? Do you have friends, Addi? Friends you're not telling me about?" Nora asks, her voice rising with every word, and I roll my eyes again.

"It's probably Flora. I should go," I admit, not wanting to end the call, but also not entirely prepared for my two worlds to collide just yet.

"Fine, but I want better updates than this," she insists, and I shake my head.

"You weren't supposed to get any," I remind her, and she chuckles.

"Deal with it."

"I love you, Addi," my father calls out.

"I love her more," Nora quickly adds, making my heart whole.

"I love you both too much."

"Oh, and, Addi?" My father's voice pauses me from ending the call. "Happy birthday, my love."

"Yeah, happy birthday, big sis. Twenty-one is going to look so good on you."

"Thank you," I breathe, letting the call end.

I run my thumb over the screen, wishing I could see their faces, when another knock comes from the door. Holy fuck. It really must be Flora, and she's eager as hell. I have a feeling she's going to want to do something for my birthday and I'm not really feeling it. Especially not now. I finally got a brief moment to connect with my family and I'm aching from not being able to bask in the pleasure of spending time with them.

Swinging the door open, I'm ready to explain to her that I'm too busy, but I'm stopped in my tracks when I come face to face with a blond mage with a wicked grin. His gaze rakes over me until his eyes settle on mine.

"I know I'm five minutes early, but you don't look the least bit ready for our date."