Chapter 34 - Victoria

Victoria

H e didn’t kiss me.

Color me confused.

I lightly scratched my nails on his back, down along the waistband of his tailored pants and around to his stomach.

“Am I still an asshole?” he asked, his breaths becoming more staggered as I dragged my nails across his skin.

I reached up and loosened his tie. Music and laughter from inside the event floated out to the terrace. We were still alone and unbothered in our little spot.

“Maybe,” I answered, untucking the rest of his shirt and then unbuttoning it. His whole body vibrated on a groan when I caressed his chest, using both hands to touch and trace his tattoos, feel every taut muscle, stroke every corrugated line.

“Is touching you like this okay?” I asked, running my finger from his throat down to his stomach.

“Yes,” he answered hoarsely, staring at me in a way I’ve never seen him do before. Conflicted and determined. Terrified and indifferent. “I thought maybe…maybe you’d be too upset with me to even want to see me.”

“I am.” I locked eyes with him. “I’m trying so hard to understand why you did this. It makes absolutely no sense.”

“I know it looks that way,” he murmured. “There are so many things you don’t know.”

“Then tell me,” I demanded resting my hand on his stomach. “Tell me so neither one of us has to go through it again.”

We stood like this for God knows how long. My fingers kept kneading into his skin to assure myself this was reality and not some ultra-vivid dream. He answered my internal doubts by sliding his hand down to the dip of my waist, resting it on the small of my back.

“I’ll tell you everything, love. I promise. Just not tonight.” He held me close. “Please, not tonight.”

I moved my hand to the nape of his neck, playing with pieces of his hair. Not tonight . His parted lips and hooded eyes silently convinced me to heed his request, for now. And then he pulled me flush to him. I could feel every muscle, every breath, every tremor in his body. I’m so starved for him. Starved for his touch, his sounds, his affection.

I wanted all of it, right here on this terrace.

Here, tucked from view and mere feet away from the upper echelon of Manhattan society.

“Xavier.” I said his name the way I’ve done when he’s buried deep inside me. Soft and urgent and tinged with need. “Kiss me.”

He blinked at me, his eyes filled with liquid heat. But he shook his head. “All I—”

“Surely you didn’t fly all this way, get dressed up and conspire with my friends just to stand here and stare at me.”

“You don’t—”

“I don’t what? Want you right here? Right now?” I pressed my hand into his chest so he had no choice but to walk backwards into a nearby wall covered in ivy. “I always want you.”

“But—”

“Xavier.” I repeated his name the same way as before. Soft, urgent, filled with need. I pressed into him, pleased to feel the friction of his hard length rub on me. “Kiss me.”

His thighs trembled with restraint.

“Please.” My eyelashes fluttered when I looked up at him.

Whatever control he’d been holding onto snapped. Whatever plan he had in place for tonight disintegrated. Insatiable, carnal need etched into his face, darkening his eyes.

“There you are,” I coaxed, tracing his lower lip. “Come out and play.”

I felt his hand on my bare thigh. His hand and the metal of his rings. Then, I heard that voice. “This is reckless, love.”

“Hasn’t stopped you before.” I sifted my fingers through his hair, pulling gently.

He lifted me without warning, turned and pinned me to the wall. Ivy leaves tickled and caressed my neck and shoulders. The night air soothed my bare skin as soon as I wrapped my legs around his waist.

He’s not there yet.

He’s still holding back.

I cupped one hand behind his neck and idly scrolled lazy circles on his chest with the other.

“I’m glad you’re here,” I told him. “I’m glad I can congratulate you in person for today’s big win.”

“Yeah?”

I nodded. My eyes dropped to his mouth. His pouty, sultry, promises and sins mouth. I wanted the sins tonight.

His grip on my thighs tightened. My arousal sped up when he dragged his tongue over his lip in the slow, deliberate way that drives me crazy.

“Why are you holding back?” I asked. “Why won’t you kiss me? ”

“Honest answer?”

“I won’t accept any other.”

The muscles in his neck worked overtime when he swallowed. When his eyes met mine he said, “I don’t want to fuck this up again.”

I stretched my arms so each one draped over his shoulders and my hands dangled lazily. “Well, if we’re keeping score, I think the technical term is…equalizer? I had my fuck up and now you have yours, so we’re tied.”

“Level,” he corrected with a smile.

“Fine. Level ,” I repeated. “The next one who fucks up wins.”

“Wins what?” He furrowed his brows. “A lifetime of regret?”

“Wow. Dude. I’m gonna need you to not be such a downer.”

A little crooked grin appeared. “I don’t want to disappoint you or see you as upset as you were just before.”

“Hate to break it you, Maddox. That’s how relationships work. We’re human. We’re going to fuck up and disappoint and be upset. But we’re also going to get it right and satisfy and be so happy it’ll outweigh the down times.”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “Been awhile since I’ve done the whole relationship thing.”

I bit down on my lip to stifle a laugh. He tilted his head in this adorably confused way, staring at me like I had the audacity to call him out on something.

“Are you having a laugh over my attempt at being an actual gentleman and trying to be sensitive about your feelings?”

“Maybe.” I pressed a finger to his mouth before he could get all huffy about that silly word. “I just find it a little amusing that the great Xavier Maddox, whose hands don’t miss and who wins all sorts of fancy medals, is just as mortal and fallible as the rest of us when it comes to relationships.”

“Hmm.” He teased his fingers along my thighs, leaning his muscular frame into me. “Do you still want me to kiss you? ”

“Yes.”

“Is that all you want?”

My pulse raced hearing the tone of voice I loved. His whole demeanor shifted from unsure to in control.

“No.”

He hovered his mouth over mine and asked, “What else do you want?”

“I want you to apologize.”

He whimpered, leaning his forehead to mine. “How?”

“However you want.”

“Is that all?”

“No.”

“What else do you want?”

“You.” I laced my fingers behind his neck. “I want you.”

“How do you want me, love?”

His mouth barely touched mine. Just a faint brush of his lips. All I had to do was pull him a fraction of an inch closer. And he’d let me. I knew he would because his body, as firm and muscular as it was, would surrender to me without question.

“I want you like this, out here,” I answered. “Please don’t deny me.”

“Does my dirty princess want to be fucked and apologized to on the terrace?” he growled.

“Yes, please.”

Our mouths collided in a searing, burning, desperate kiss. I grabbed his shoulders, sinking my fingers into the jacket. He fisted his hand in my hair, moving my head sharply to the right, taking my mouth fully.

His clothed erection nestled perfectly into my three-week-sex-starved pussy. (I know, I know. Poor me.) If I rocked my hips just a little, I could create some friction and satisfy one small need.

So I did. And each time I did, he kissed me deeper and harder until he tore his mouth away with a grunt .

“I’m not coming in my pants this time. I’m coming inside of you.”

I hummed with approval, my head lolling back against the wall. He let my legs slide away until my feet were firmly on the ground.

“Look at me,” he ordered.

When he knelt in front of me I made a noise I don’t think I’ve ever made before. Something between a groan and a mewl. I loved seeing him kneel. Loved it.

“Are you going to apologize to me on your knees?” I purred.

The salacious glance I received in response got me so wet I regretted wearing underwear. He licked his lip again and hiked up my dress.

“This,” he murmured, running a finger along the slit, “got me hard the moment I saw you.”

He eased off my panties, pulling them down, lifting my right foot and then my left so I could step out of them. With a grin, he stuffed them in his pocket.

I trembled, feeling his hands caress up my thighs, parting my legs. Using his thumbs, he opened my folds, exposing my unabashed desire for him. On a moan, he pressed his nose into my skin, inhaling my scent.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, massaging my clit in slow circles. One finger drifted inside me, curling to touch the sensitive textured spot that made me see stars. He stopped to drape my leg over his shoulder, giving him full access.

“Forgive me,” I heard him say as he started to suckle and lick my clit, swirling his tongue at my entrance and dipping it inside me.

I laced my fingers in his hair, pulling him closer. He growled in appreciation, devouring me in earnest. My legs shook so hard I clutched onto his shoulders for balance. His tongue alternated in long licks and short flickers. His fingers worked me into a frenzy, rubbing me and teasing me. The combined sensations made my breathing quiver.

“Xavier,” I panted, rocking my hips, bringing myself closer to the edge. “It feels so good. Xavier . ”

My orgasm melted me from the inside out. I squirmed and gasped and shuddered. He continued swirling his tongue gently as my climax ebbed and flowed on his mouth. When my body finally went soft and pliant, he leaned back and looked up at me.

The visual of him on his knees, his mouth sucking my desire off his fingers, and his eyes bright and wild made me whimper. After carefully removing my leg from his shoulder, he stood, held my face in his hands and kissed me. A full, lush, passionate kiss. If his mouth gave me the sins I craved between my legs, it’s giving me the promises I yearn for on my lips.

“Tell me,” he demanded when our mouths parted.

“I love you,” I said in a low, husky tone. “I love you so much I could burst. You’ve changed me. You make me feel whole again.”

He unzipped his pants and lowered his boxer briefs enough to free his rigid cock. “What else?”

“I hated being without you.” Tears pooled in my eyes. Surprising, since I’d cried an ocean on his shoulder already. “It felt like half of my heart was ripped out of me.”

I wrapped my legs around his waist when he lifted me. His body shivered when his hard length pressed against my wet opening.

“Tori,” he said hoarsely. “I love you. You make me come apart in the best way. And then you put me back together and make me feel more like myself than I could ever dare to imagine.”

He kissed me at the same moment he thrust inside me. Our mouths and bodies joining in one motion. One perfect union. I’d always assumed my first time having sex with someone in public would be some sweaty, dirty, salacious experience.

I could not have been more wrong. This felt almost sacred.

He rocked himself into me harder and deeper, filling me and owning me. All the while, he kissed and softly bit into the delicate slope between my neck and shoulder, apologizing and praising me with every thrust .

You’re my world …and please forgive me… and let me love you forever .

My head fell back into the ivy leaves as I moved my hips in rhythm with him.

“Look at me, Tori.”

I clenched around him, eliciting a low groan. He said my name in that voice. The one I never wanted to stop hearing.

Our eyes locked. Blue to green. Sky to ground. Heaven to earth.

I wrapped my arms around him, spearing my fingers into his hair.

And now my body was nothing but sensation. Nothing but energy. Nothing but the feel of Xavier inside me and his body caged around me. His sharp breaths. His grunts and moans. His steady, deep pounding.

When his fingers roughly massaged my clit, I fell apart immediately. Writhing and coming and whispering I love you into the night air.

He rode through my release, spilling into me in long, hot pulses. My hands twisted in his jacket, holding him close as our bodies came down together. Shaky and sated and whole. His warm breath tickled my throat when he nuzzled into me. I responded by squeezing my legs tighter around his waist.

He kissed me slow and gentle and deep.

“Dirty princess,” he spoke on my lips. “Do you accept this apology?”

I rested my elbows on his shoulders, running my hands through his hair. “I do. Can’t wait to see what the other ones look like.”

A full smile. Full and dimpled and crooked and happy.

“You keep breaking your policy for me.”

“I have a new policy now.”

“Oh?” An eyebrow arched. “Tell me.”

“It’s a pretty strict one,” I warned. “No deviations this time.”

“Sounds serious.”

“Had to be done.”

The silky, softness of his tongue slipped through my lips for a sweet, tender kiss. “I guess you should tell me the bad news,” he said .

“The only professional athletes I date are British goalkeepers with dirty mouths and tattoos, crooked smiles and dimples, and sapphire eyes that see past all my barriers and love me for everything I am. Know anyone like that?”

With a devilish grin, he hovered his mouth over mine. “Maybe.”