Chapter 29 - Victoria

Victoria

“ H ot and fresh and ready to eat,” Xavier looked pointedly at me while carrying a pizza box to the kitchen. “And we have a snack.”

“Are you hungry?”

The slow, measured way he devoured every inch of me with his eyes made me tremble. “Not for pizza.”

We’d returned to my place an hour ago and ordered some food. Spending the entire day at the storage facility wasn’t exactly the plan, but at least I found what I was looking for.

“You clearly haven’t had good New York pizza. This is the best delivery in the city.”

Next thing I knew, I was in his arms, subjected to a classic Xavier molten stare.

“We have some unfinished business to attend to first,” he murmured.

Our mouths brushed together once, twice, and then joined in a hot, intense kiss. The kind of kiss that leads to hours of dirty, rough sex.

Good thing pizza tastes just as fantastic cold as it does hot.

“What business is that?” I asked in between kisses.

“Don’t be cute.”

“Right.” I giggled. “That’s your department.”

He swatted my behind in one swift, sharp slap. I shook it from side to side.

“Am I in trouble again, Mr. Maddox?”

“There aren’t enough hours left in the day for all the trouble you’re in.”

“Do you really have to leave tonight?”

“I do.” He squeezed my ass. “I’ve already overstayed my welcome. Plus, I have a match on Thursday.”

“You haven’t overstayed any welcome.”

“Tell Bennet. He got an earful when he told the manager I’d be staying behind an extra day and not flying home with the team.”

“Bad boy,” I grinned, nipping at his lip.

“Would you prefer I stay longer?”

“Yes, please.”

Our lips collided in another intense kiss. Intense and affectionate. I whimpered when he ground his hips against mine, his hands kneading my backside. I swung my legs around his waist the second he lifted me off the floor.

I loved having him with me today. I loved not feeling like an anxious, scattered mess. I want him here. Always.

“Xavier,” I spoke his name on his lips. “Please stay.”

A violent tremor shook his body. He slid his mouth over mine slowly as he carried me to the couch. We sank into the cushions still kissing, still touching one another. I straddled him, sifting my fingers through his hair.

He broke his mouth away, softly collaring my neck. “Let me,” he breathed. “Please.”

“Let you stay? Of course. ”

“No.” His eyes burned bright. “Love you. Let me love you, Victoria.”

My breath hitched as a single tear rolled down my cheek. His hand remained at the base of my throat, stroking and comforting my skin. I looked at him. Really looked at him and allowed visions of our future together to play uninterrupted.

We’ve known each for less than a month, and I already wanted him for the rest of my life. An invisible ribbon that bound us together tightened around my heart. If I believed in fate, I’d even venture to say the ribbon was loosely tied there by my sister when she was fifteen and sneaking around with his brother.

Xavier pressed his hand to my damp cheek, wiping away more tears with his thumb. “You don’t have to say anything.”

“Yes, I do.”

Leaning close, I kissed his forehead and his scar, and then kissed his mouth. “I want you to love me,” I admitted. “Please love me, Xavier.”

His jagged exhale vibrated through me when his head rested between my breasts. I held him tight, warding off the one voice dwelling deep inside me. The one accusatory voice berating me for not keeping a simple promise to my sister the night we went to the bonfire. The one voice threatening to cut the invisible ribbon tying me to this man, blaming me for ripping apart my family.

“Did you mean what you said last night?” I asked. “When that blonde was hanging on you and you called me your girlfriend?”

“Yes.” His hooded gaze met mine. “I always mean what I say.” He grinned. “You were quite jealous of her.”

“She kept touching you.”

“Fans tend to do that. Will it be a problem for you?”

“I don’t think so,” I answered honestly. “Will it be a problem for you the next time Noah hugs me?”

A faint scowl marred his sultry mouth. “Suppose not.”

“My first jealous boyfriend,” I teased, running my hand down his chest. “Not as sexy as I thought it would be. ”

“No?” He looked up at me with dark eyes. “Stand up.” The command came quiet and gentle, but firm.

I shivered, getting to my feet.

“Go to the window.”

Dusk settled over the city in shades of purple and blue while I waited in front of it. Lights flickered to life in high-rises and along sidewalks. I heard a slow exhale before I felt Xavier remove my hoodie. It fell to my feet. Then he pulled the tank top over my head, tossed it aside and unfastened my bra.

“Do you like being undressed in front of the window?” he asked, hooking his fingers inside my yoga pants and sliding them down.

“If you’re the one undressing me, yes.”

“Is this sexy enough for you?”

I smiled. “Maybe.”

“So much trouble,” he laughed softly. “What do you think the people behind those windows are doing?”

“I don’t know,” I answered quietly, staring into the high-rise a few blocks away.

He stroked the edge of my panties. “What if they could see us?”

“Aren’t we too far for them to see?”

Xavier’s hand trailed lower, pressing and teasing my sensitive skin. Hot desire spiked fast through me. I arched my back enough to press my backside into his crotch. He was already rock hard.

“I’m curious,” he whispered in my ear. “Were you this turned on last night at the bar? Would you have let me play with your cunt and come on my hand like the dirty princess you are?”

There was an answering heat in my body, as though the temperature of my blood itself had escalated. His fingers teased even more, finding their way with ease over my slick flesh before discovering the plump bud of my clit and pressing down.

“Yes,” I breathed.

He cupped my breast with his other hand. My eyes fluttered closed when a deep sound of want spilled from him. I heard it the moment his fingers dipped inside me.

“You feel,” he said, sounding unsteady, “like nothing else.”

I pressed my hands on the window, unsure if it would be enough to keep me balanced. He kept repeating the same movements —fingers inside, curling to touch the soft textured spot that drove me wild, pulling out and toying with my clit, then back inside. When my focus shifted to the building across the way, I felt my climax knotting itself fast and hard. The very thought of being watched sent me over the edge.

Turning my head to the side so our mouths were close, I kissed him. “Yours.” I covered his hand with mine, stroking his wet fingers.

“Victoria.” His voice remained unsteady as he continued to pleasure my body. “What you do to me.”

My legs shook. Everything from my navel to my knees clenched and crested into a wave of euphoria so consuming, so overwhelming, I could hardly stand. I scratched foolishly at the window, like it would keep me grounded while my body flew apart.

I don’t even know when he slid his fingers out and turned me to face him. I only felt him paint my lips with my climax and kiss me.

“I love when you do that,” I confessed when he broke the kiss.

“I know.” His greedy arrogance reignited the wave of desire that still pulsed through me.

I reached up and collared his neck. “I want you. Fuck me like you want me to be yours forever.”

“Is that so?” He pushed me back a step, then two, until I was pinned between him and the window. I’m not going to lie, the cold glass felt so damn good on my heated skin. His hips pressed into mine when he raised my wrists above my head and held them there.

“Don’t move.”

He bent down, grabbed my hoodie, pulled out the draw string and made quick work of tying my wrists together .

“Turn around,” he ordered. “Keep your hands up here, just like this.”

His commands alone were enough to send me over the edge. The distinct sound of a zipper opening preceded the rustling of clothes falling to the floor. He pulled my hips back, so I leaned forward and then yanked down my panties, grabbing at my ass, squeezing hard. So hard I gasped. Then I heard a low groan and felt his tongue trace its way around my clit.

I whimpered when he stopped, anticipating what he’d do next. All I could see from the reflection in the window was Xavier on his knees behind me and if that wasn’t the hottest thing in the world I don’t know what is.

A tingling, throbbing sensation skittered down from my hips to my legs when he bit into the soft flesh of my bottom. I laughed in surprise. Then he did it again. My knees went weak.

“Shit, that tickles,” I said on a giggle.

“Should I continue?” he asked, caressing my backside in whisper soft touches.

“Yes.”

He slapped one ass cheek hard. I squealed with pleasure.

“Should I continue?” he repeated in a gruff tone.

“Green.”

Desire coiled at my core when I felt his tongue run along the curve of my ass, licking close to the entrance and then up to the small of my back.

When he stood, he caressed my stomach, between my breasts and stopped at my throat. He collared his fingers around it, pressing them into my skin possessively.

Everything in me stilled watching our reflections in the glass. His face was taut with intent. My eyes were wild with anticipation. It felt like I’ve been caught. But I never wanted to escape.

His warm breath tickled my neck before he growled, “You’re fucking mine.”

With a quickness and ferocity, he shoved himself inside, filling me to the hilt in one thrust. I cried out at the sudden invasion. Every nerve ending spiked with need. Over and over he drove into me.

“More,” I tried to demand. “I love it, Xavier.”

I could barely speak so I wasn’t sure if he heard me. But he did. And he gave me what I asked. Not necessarily faster, but harder and deeper. He gripped my hips so tight I couldn’t move. I was at his mercy, taking all of him.

The reflection of his impassioned face stared back at me from the window. All of his features were shadowed by the city lights but I could see him. His parted lips. His raw, animalistic stare. His hips flexing and pounding into me from behind. I bent forward even more to take him deeper.

He thrust into me so hard we both cried out. Lowering his body to mine, his rough, baritone voice filled me. “Come for me.”

Heat swirled deep in my belly. I was almost there. My body ignited from the inside out.

He fucked me harder, demanding, “Give me what’s mine.”

I struggled to breathe as my orgasm hit with unrelenting force. I wanted to scream his name. I wanted him to hear me call out the only name I was meant to say. All I could do was shake and moan as he rode through my release. His deep grunts signaled he was close. I felt him tense, jerking his hips against me on the waves of his own surrender.

He turned me as soon as he pulled out. His cock was still hard as steel, glistening from both us.

“Kneel.”

I dropped to my knees without hesitation. His sides heaved like he’d finished a strenuous workout. Looking up at him through my lashes, I leaned forward and licked under his shaft up to the flared crown. His head lolled back slightly.

“Untie me, please,” I requested, leaning back. “I want to touch you. ”

“No.” His tone matched the severe look on his face.

My lips curved in a smile. I knelt up higher, crossing my ankles behind me. It didn’t take an astute observer to notice the flair of dominance behind his eyes.

He grabbed the back of my head, knotting his fingers in my hair. The covetous expression he wore at the bar last night reappeared. He tugged on my hair.

“Open,” he directed.

I parted my lips, sliding my mouth down his hard shaft, flattening my tongue against it.

Both his hands pulled on my hair as he swore under his breath. Without warning, he thrust deep into my throat. I swallowed on instinct. He thrust again, harder, grabbing the back of my head to keep me from pulling away.

“Is this hard enough for you, dirty princess?” he asked, driving into my throat without apology. “Rough enough?”

I looked up at him and could only make a noise that probably sounded like a moan. My eyes started to water. All of a sudden he pulled back and blinked out of himself, inhaling a sharp breath.

“Why are you stopping?” I panted.

“I can’t be that rough with you.”

“Yes you can.”

He broke eye contact.

What the hell is happening here?

“Xavier, look at me.”

He wet his lips, taking himself in his hand. The aggressive way he stroked his cock awakened my dozing orgasm. Still, something felt off.

“Are you upset with me about all the jealousy talk?” I asked.

The muscles and tendons in his neck rippled when he swallowed. He went over to the couch and sat. “Come here.”

I stood and went to him. His penis was still rigid and waiting, so I straddled him, sheathing his length until it filled me. He buried his face in my breasts, inhaling my scent like he needed it to survive.

“Talk to me,” I pleaded, rocking back and forth on him.

“Give me your hands.”

I waited while he untied me and kissed the faint marks on my wrists. I rested my forehead to his, running my fingers through his hair. “Why do you hide from this part of yourself?”

He grasped my hips. “I have to.”

“Why? Do you think you’ll insult my independent, strong female side? Do you think I’ll look at you as some misogynistic asshole who talks dirty to me and wants to control me?”

“That’s not it,” he growled.

“Then what is it? Tell me.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You’re not hurting me. And you trust me enough to tell you otherwise. Let yourself go, Xavier.”

I kissed him, licking deep inside his mouth.

“Victoria,” he gasped, pulling away. “You don’t understand.”

“Don’t understand what? You get off on being rough and possessive with me? You get hard pushing my limits in a public setting? You’re jealous of other men, regardless of my history with them?”

I rocked and then rotated my hips harder, forcing him inside me deeper. “Who am I fucking right now? Who do I want more than anyone?”

I shoved my hands in his hair and pulled his head back. His mouth fell open on a low moan.

“You,” I continued. “I choose to play rough. I choose to be spanked, bitten, grabbed, tied up, used in public, used in private. I choose all of it because I choose you. All of you. I’m so in love with you I can’t see straight.”

His lips crashed into mine in a desperate, searing kiss. The pressure of his fingers digging into my ass went straight to my throbbing clit. He stood, secured his hands on my hips to keep my pelvis pinned to his, and carried me to the bedroom.

Our bodies stayed connected when he laid me down and hovered over me. Placing one hand on each of my thighs, he pushed them open wider, sinking inside me.

I dragged my nails down his chest to his lower abdomen. When he pulled out, I circled his hard length with my fingers.

“Fuck,” he hissed. “I want to be so rough and possessive with you right now. I want to fuck your history away so it’s mine and mine alone.” He pushed in deeper until the full weight of his body was on me.

“Do it,” I breathed. “Claim me. Rewrite my past experiences with your body however you want. Starting right now.”

He slid his arms under my shoulders, propping himself on his elbows. When he looked down at me, he rocked his pelvis against my clit a few times, creating a friction unlike anything I’ve ever felt. Then he pulled out slow, hitting my g-spot. The sensation was euphoric.

This wasn’t rough but it was certainly possessive. Consuming. Over and over and over.

I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t move. All I could do was surrender to the shivers running up and down my spine. My entire body was overwhelmed by energy and vibration.

Xavier buried his face in my neck, biting and kissing and licking and whispering. The methodic, repetitive motions of his pelvis rocking lulled me into an intoxicating trance. When our eyes met, his were shining with devotion. He’s too perfect and beautiful in this moment.

I hooked my legs around his thighs. The change in position squeezed my pussy tighter around his length, intensifying the pressure he put on my body. He moaned quietly, never breaking his stride.

I wanted him closer. I wanted to fuse myself to him and feel this for eternity.

His intense, adoring stare locked on me and with a rough cadence to his voice, he professed, “I love you, Tori.”

A sound came out of me so primal and instinctual, I didn’t recognize it. My back arched as I gasped and cried out his name like a prayer and lost all control of my body, surrendering to him, to what I felt, to all the unknown moments yet to come.

With a shudder and several final deep thrusts, Xavier tumbled over the edge with me.

The sound of our heavy breathing filled the room, along with the thick fog of pleasure. I’d never felt more attuned to or more in harmony with another person. Any tense feelings swirling around jealousy or guilt or uncertainty blinked out of existence.

Xavier’s quiet sigh broke the silence when he pulled out and held me close. He kissed my shoulder, moving down the side of my ribcage. He traced my tattoo in slow, gentle strokes and then covered it in soft kisses. I shivered, wondering if this is how he felt every time I touched or kissed his scar.

“Keep rising,” he whispered. “I’ll be with you the whole way.”

I curled into him, tangling our legs together. We stayed this way for a few minutes before he got up to tend to his aftercare duties.

“You’re spoiling me.” I grinned while he gently cleaned me with a warm washcloth.

“Get used to it.” He kissed the tip of my nose. “Don’t move. I’ll be right back.”

I stretched like a content kitten, all arms and legs and low moans. When Xavier climbed back onto the bed next to me, I nestled into him, stroking his arms, his chest, his thighs.

All mine.

“You keep breaking your policy for me,” he said after several minutes, running the tip of his nose along my jaw.

“What policy?” I murmured.

He took my mouth in a soft kiss, smiling when he pulled back. “I have a confession.”

“You’re really some dull businessman who likes it missionary and on a schedule? ”

He chuckled. “Not exactly. I’m actually quite peckish.”

“ Peckish ,” I repeated.

“Mmm,” he hummed. “I keep fantasizing about cold pizza.”

I propped myself up on an elbow and stared into his ridiculously handsome face. “I can make that fantasy come true if you want me to.”

“I’ve heard that about you.”

“Oh yeah? What else have you heard?”

The wide, crooked smile I love so much appeared, accentuating his dimple and making his eyes glow. “Feed me and I’ll tell you.”

“Promise?”

“Maybe.” He kissed my forehead, climbed out of bed and stretched his long, toned arms over his head. All his muscles tightened and relaxed, rippling beneath his inked skin.

I watched his naked body walk toward the kitchen and flopped back on the bed for a minute.

That man loves me , I thought with a smile, getting up and grabbing something to wear from my closet. He’d already set out plates and napkins on the island counter when I sauntered up to him. He was still shirtless but had his jeans on.

“Look at you, all domesticated.”

“Don’t get used to it,” he laughed. “This is the extent of my talents.”

“I’ll try keep my expectations low,” I grinned, getting a couple of glasses. “Wine?”

“Not really a wine guy.”

I rolled my eyes. “ Pardon me. Would you prefer beer? Water? Bourbon? Gin? I can go on.”

“Bourbon is fine. Do you have bangers and mash too? Maybe some Yorkshire pudding?”

“Do I detect sass?”

“Whatever do you mean?” A playful grin lit up his face.

“This grin,” I said.

“What about it? ”

“It’ll get you into trouble.” I walked over to plant a kiss on him.

“That didn’t feel like trouble.”

“No? What did it feel like?”

“Like you love me, too,” he said with conviction, pulling me closer.

“I do.” I kissed him again.

“Still didn’t feel like trouble,” he smirked, playing with my hair.

“The night is young,” I said, wriggling out of his arms and grabbing a bottle of Eagle Rare.

I poured two glasses.

“I’ve not had this one,” he remarked, taking a sip. “Oh wow.”

“Right?” I smiled. “One of my favorites.”

I went over to the fridge to get some ranch dressing and a small bowl from the cabinet.

This whole day had been filled with emotion and revelations. But there was still one important subject I had to address before he went back home.

I eyed the diary we’d found in storage sitting on my coffee table. I had to tell him about the fight. The man sat on a hard floor digging through boxes with me all afternoon. He at least deserved to know the whole story before I finally see what led to the end.

“What are you doing to that pizza crust?” Xavier’s baffled expression was too precious.

I dunked it into the small condiment bowl filled with ranch dressing. “Giving it some personality.” I grinned before taking a bite. “So good.”

“May I?”

“Of course.” I slid the bowl closer to him so he could dunk a little piece of his crust. The tentative way he put it in his mouth amused me. Like he wasn’t sure what would happen once he started chewing.

He did this little head bob thing after he finished and took a long swallow of his drink.

“What did you think? ”

“I think you have impeccable taste in bourbon.”

I laughed. “Not a ranch fan? Looks like we can’t be friends, then.”

He looked over at me. “How will I ever survive.” His tone was droll and sardonic. Peak Xavier.

“You’ll manage.” I dunked the rest of my crust in the bowl and ate it with zeal.

Xavier shook his head and started cleaning up. I watched him move around the kitchen, putting the plates in the sink. I smiled to myself. These regular, mundane actions felt normal. Just another Sunday at home with the boyfriend.

Thinking of him as my boyfriend filled me with hope and fear. I finished my bourbon in one swallow, enjoying the aged smoky richness as it slid down my throat while wracking my brain to think of ways to bring up what I read about the night he was attacked.

He needs to know. It wouldn’t be fair to keep this from him. Besides, I didn’t want us to start our relationship with half-truths and secrecy.

“Want me to take that for you?” Xavier asked.

I slid the glass across the counter to him. “Thank you.”

“Maybe I am more domesticated than previously stated.”

“Let’s not get crazy, Maddox.”

While he finished in the kitchen, I went over to the window. Hugging my arms to myself, I sighed. A peaceful warmth spread through me, not from the food or the sex or the bourbon. What I was about to do is the right thing. Closing my eyes, I said a silent prayer for my sister.

Xavier’s body radiated heat from behind me. His arms encircled my waist, pulling my back flush to his chest. I raised my arm, reaching back to cup my hand behind his neck. He hugged me tighter, lowering his head so his chin rested on my shoulder.

“Still peckish?” I asked.

A small laugh vibrated through him. “No.” His lips brushed against my neck. “You seem a little tense. Anything I can do?”

It’s now or never .

“Yeah, there is. I have to…there’s something you need to know.” I freed myself from his embrace and led him to the couch. I fidgeted with the fabric on the cushion while we sat in silence. His vibrant eyes watched my every move.

“Sounds serious. Is it?”

“I haven’t told you everything about what I read in Charlotte’s diary from Briarcliff.”

Unease fanned from his eyes to his mouth. His lips pressed together.

I lifted my hand to quiet him before he could speak.

“Please let me say this without interrupting. Then you can ask me as many questions as you’d like. Okay?”

He nodded, taking my hand in his.

“The summer she met your brother, um, there was a,” I steadied my breathing, “there was a party. She went to a party near London without telling me. It was at some big estate.”

Xavier’s body stiffened.

“At some point, she went outside with a friend of hers and,” I squeezed his hand, “saw a guy walking to his car. Then she saw some other guys come out of nowhere and beat him up. She said it looked like one of them slashed at him with a key.”

All the blood drained from his face until he was pale. Pale and stoic.

“One of them saw her. When she went back inside, another guy came up to her and threatened her. He said he knew who she was, knew who my family was,” I paused, “knew who I was. Then he put his hands on her and said if he ever saw her at another party he’d teach her a lesson she’d never forget.”

I inhaled. I don’t think I’d taken a breath the whole time.

“Let me see it.” Xavier’s low, tight timbre sent a chill through me. “Let me see exactly what she wrote.”

“I told you ever—“

“Victoria,” he snarled. “Show me the fucking diary right now.”