Chapter Seven

Late again, damn it.

Rueben walked to his truck as fast as his trembling legs could carry him. The late-afternoon quickie stretched into an early evening cuddle session that led to blow jobs in the shower. He'd lost all track of time—and possibly his mind—while lingering in Seth's arms for hours. Gentle caresses soothed Rueben enough to bare his soul and share the misdeeds Oliver Hawkins had alluded to during their conversation. Seth had understood why a heartbroken, uprooted, and angry kid found trouble and ended up going before juvenile judges. Those magistrates went pretty easy on him because his crimes had been minor. They assigned Rueben community service, and he eventually got his act together, until his short temper and a dumb decision as a young adult landed him in jail. Ironically, Rue hadn't committed the crime they'd accused him of, but the jury didn't believe him.

Arrowhead had put him in Cash Sweeney's path, and Seth by proxy, so it was hard to hold a grudge. Maybe Rueben's criminal past seemed like weird pillow talk, but their deepening connection was undeniable, and Rueben wanted to lay everything out in the open. His checkered past hadn't deterred Seth one bit, and those assurances—physical and verbal—were partly to blame for Rueben running behind. He figured nothing could wipe the smile off his face until he picked up his abandoned cell phone out of the console and saw a string of new texts from Rory.

Fuck. Me.

He'd forgotten all about the segments he was supposed to film for future webisodes for their YouTube channel. It was official. Rueben was slowly losing his shit. He was either forgetting things or late to complete the simplest tasks at work because this thing with Seth consumed his thoughts day and night. He'd forgotten his burner phone back at the cabin when he'd showered before his dental appointment, leaving no way for Seth to contact him if something had come up to prevent meeting at the cabin. That possibility hadn't even occurred to Rueben until Seth was late for their rendezvous. He'd sat in his truck wondering how long he should wait because calling Seth on his ranch phone was out of the question. He'd breathed a sigh of relief when his man arrived, even if he was twenty minutes late. Rueben had purposely left his ranch phone in his console when they went into the cabin. He figured Seth could only spare an hour at most and wanted to avoid interruptions, but they lingered on the sun-drenched bed like lazy house cats.

Rather than take the time to text Rory back, Rueben turned the key to start his engine. Instead of a humble roar, he only heard a series of clicks that spelled a longer delay and problems for him if he required a tow. Seth walked onto the porch and locked the door behind him. Rueben cranked the window down and poked his head out. "I think I have a problem." When Seth got closer, he tried to crank the engine again. "I hope it's just a dead battery. Please tell me you have jumper cables." Rueben made a mental note to get his own set.

Maybe Seth sensed his rising panic because he reached inside the cab and caressed Rueben's cheek. "Yep. I'll be right back."

"I'll wait right here." As if he had a different option. Rueben hadn't meant to be funny, but his remark earned a smile and extra warmth in Seth's gray eyes.

"I like you so damn much," Seth said.

Rueben swallowed hard because he saw so much more than "like" in his man's gaze. Seth turned and walked away before Rueben could reciprocate, which was probably a good thing because he probably might've used a different L word. They weren't ready for that. It almost felt cruel to say something so potent when there was so little they could do about it. Rueben was under no pretense that he could slow down or prevent his affection from growing like wildfire, but he didn't have to burden Seth with the truth.

The jump worked, and after one last kiss, Rueben headed straight for the auto part store in Last Chance Creek to buy a new battery. It was another delay, but it helped explain his tardiness. The clerk even installed the new battery for him and collected the old one for proper disposal. A bark of deep laughter caught his attention before he could back out of his parking spot, and he glanced over to see Oliver Hawkins talking to Amos Martindale. The two men made an interesting study on contrast, with Oliver's tall, athletic build standing next to Amos's shorter frame and much softer physique. Thor versus Boss Hogg. Those differences extended to the way they conducted their conversation too. Oliver's posture came off as relaxed, and he was clearly in charge of his emotions, while Amos had the flushed face of a cartoon character about to blow steam out of his ears. Why was Seth's ex-fiancé chatting up his opponent for sheriff? Another round of laughter burst from Amos's fleshy lips, but it sounded like pure bitterness. What Rueben wouldn't give to know what that conversation was all about.

Oliver must've sensed him watching because he suddenly searched the parking lot. Rueben tried to turn his head fast enough but wasn't sure he pulled it off. He started the engine and backed up as casually as possible to avoid further scrutiny, and he didn't so much as glance at Oliver in his rearview mirror as he drove away. Seth had said little about his past relationship with the man other than they had conflicting goals that made a future together impossible. Oliver had lofty journalism dreams better suited for a big city, and Seth wanted to serve his hometown. Rueben suspected there was more to the breakup because Sven said Oliver made a deep cut when he left town. Rueben hadn't pushed Seth for more information because they'd get around to sharing more scars, eventually. But he made a mental note to tell Seth about the exchange between Amos and Oliver before shifting his thoughts to what he'd say when he got back to the ranch. He would arrive in time for dinner, which put his latest mistake front and center for everyone to see.

As he neared the ranch, Rueben realized he wasn't going into the dining room armed with a bunch of bullshit lies or excuses, and he would not perform a song and dance to deflect attention away from the truth. He fucked up and would accept responsibility. That's all he owed anyone. When the questions came, and they would, he'd keep his answers vague and mysterious. Even with a game plan in mind, nerves got the best of Rueben as he drove the winding lane down to the ranch. He normally spent the trip marveling at nature and his good fortune for living on such a gorgeous property. Those feelings were still present, but they also acted as a reminder of what his relationship with Seth could cost him and the people he loved. He didn't live in a vacuum. His actions would have major repercussions for everyone on the ranch if he and Seth got busted. Rueben parked his truck, cycled through a few cleansing breaths, and then banished his doomsday thoughts. One crisis at a time.

Everyone had gathered in the dining room, but Harry hadn't brought out the food yet. They traditionally chatted over a cold beverage while they waited for her to signal dinner was ready. She'd usually carry in the first platter, and the crew would pitch in to help with everything else. Rory was Harry's sous chef in addition to handling the ranch's PR and social media profiles. Rueben detoured to the kitchen when he noticed Rory's absence in the dining room and found him scraping mashed potatoes into a massive serving bowl. Rory glanced up when he noticed Rueben's approach. Tension furrowed his brow and bracketed his mouth. His light blue eyes scanned Rueben with concern.

"I'm so damn sorry, Ro," he said before Rory could speak. "I really fucked up today. I'll do anything to make it up to you?"

Rory's expression softened, and his mouth curved into a wry smile. "Anything?"

Rueben worried his bottom lip between his teeth as he tried to figure out a way to backtrack a little. He missed a single filming, not a major life event like a wedding. "Within reason."

"That isn't what you said."

"It was implied," Rueben teased.

Harry turned from the back counter with a heavy platter of country-fried steak patties in her hands. She sighed and shook her head at Rueben. "You said, ‘anything.' No stipulations, buddy. Now, pay the piper."

"Yes, ma'am." Rueben rounded the island and held out his hands. "May I?" Harry was the queen of the castle, not a damsel in distress, but courtesy dictated he should offer to help.

"Knock yourself out," Harry said as she relinquished her burden. "But not until you safely deliver the food to the dining room."

"Wait up," Rory called out before Rueben made it more than a few steps. "I'll come with you."

Ro carried the enormous bowl of mashed potatoes, which left the biscuits, gravy, and vegetables in the kitchen. The other fellas could handle the rest of the food, which would give him a minute to talk things out with Rory. A cheer went up as they entered the dining room, then the crew filed out to assist Harry. Rueben set the platter on the buffet, and Rory set the potatoes next to it.

"How about we just film a little longer on the makeup shoot, so I can turn it into a two-parter? You are the most popular one on the ranch. People can't get enough of your perfect skin and those eyelashes."

The comment triggered a memory of Seth telling Rueben he could hear air moving when he blinked. "They're not that long," he'd murmured against Seth's chest earlier and repeated to Rory in the dining room. "But, yeah, a longer shoot is fair. When?"

They got out their phones and picked a time the following week, and Rueben entered it into his phone like he usually did.

"And while we're discussing content, I'd like to do a long-form feature with you." That sounded like more commitment than Rueben was used to giving to the YouTube channel. When he only arched a brow, Rory rushed to explain. "I'd like to follow you through one of your magnificent art pieces. I'm talking from conception to finish. It's a side of you we've never showed to the world."

Rueben swallowed hard. While he loved to shape, bend, and weld iron for both practical and artistic purposes, he didn't consider himself an artist. He viewed himself as a farrier with free time, a lot of old horseshoes, and a curious streak. He'd loved to create art as a kid and liked to make things out of metal as an adult. "I just make simple lamps and other decorative pieces out of repurposed horseshoes, Ro. I can't imagine my amateur metalworks would create much interest on our channel."

Rory crossed his arms over his chest and notched his chin up higher. He was such a laid-back guy, but Rueben recognized someone digging in their heels when he saw it. "You have no idea just how talented you are." He tsked and shook his head. "It only makes you more attractive."

Ivan, the love of Rory's life, entered the room just as the last remark left Rory's lips. The soft-hearted Viking stopped and looked between them. "You two guys need a minute or something?" There was no heat in his question, and to prove he wasn't remotely concerned, Ivan leaned over and kissed Rory's cheek before continuing to the buffet.

"Rueben doesn't think his ironwork is art," Rory said. "What do you say?"

Ivan set the basket of biscuits and the honey pot filled with his beloved liquid gold down before facing Rueben. "Dude, the fencing you made for my honeyhood is so freaking beautiful. You took something as basic and plain as metal and created intricate honeybees in mid-flight on the gates. There's no limit to what you can accomplish, and I know you could turn your talent into a well-paying career if you put your mind to it. Think of the chandeliers and staircase railings you could build for homes."

The notion floored Rueben because he'd never considered his talent good enough to lead him anywhere, let alone a prosperous career. He'd also never let himself think about a future that didn't include the ranch. Redemption Ridge was the first place that felt like home since his mom and sister died. His abuela had done her best to give him a secure life away from violence and gangs, but Colorado had never felt like home until he met Cash and, later, the crew. He'd trained to be an EMT before his life had gone to hell and he landed in jail, but returning to that career had never appealed to him.

"I have an art piece in mind," Rueben said softly. "It's something I want to make for my abuela's birthday, so we can't air the episodes until after I give it to her." She had no clue how to operate technology, so his tía set her up on a computer so she could watch his webisodes. Abuela always had notes for him too. Stand up straighter. Stop making smoky eyes at the camera. Rueben was pretty sure she meant smoldering, but he didn't dare correct or contradict her. He never attempted to seduce his audience and blamed Rory's camera angles and editing. The dude was a freaking genius at the PR stuff, and he knew how to put someone at ease to draw the very best from them during interviews. He made a person forget all about the cameras. "It's a very personal gift, and I might get pretty emotional. I'd like to see the finished edit before you post it."

Rory reached over and squeezed his arm. "Of course."

"I'll do it."

The rest of the food arrived with the crew, and Nick told them not to wait for Cash because he was finishing an overseas call. Rueben loaded his plate with two fried steaks and a heaping pile of mashed potatoes and doused it all with country gravy. The spoonful of steamed broccoli, cauliflower, and carrot medley looked small in comparison, but at least he was getting in some veg.

"You don't even have room for biscuits," Keegan said.

"I see an empty spot on your plate. Will you grab me one?"

Keegan arched a pale blond brow. "Just one?"

"Okay, two," Rueben said. "Please."

Keegan snagged biscuits for both of them, and they headed to the table, where everyone but Cash already sat with their food. Nick shoveled food into his mouth like it was an Olympic sport, so the crew joined him instead of waiting. A few forkfuls in, Cash slid into the dining room on socked feet.

"Smells like my favorite dinner." He scanned the heaping plates at the table and scowled. "Did you save me some?"

Harry swallowed her bite of food and pointed her fork at Nick. "He told us not to wait."

"Didn't take long for him to lose that loving feeling," Cash muttered as he grabbed a plate off the buffet.

He took his seat at the head of the table and smiled at everyone. Cash usually asked how their day went, but he skipped the small talk and speared a forkful of mashed potatoes and gravy. Cash made an appreciative hum that caught his husband's attention and made several people chuckle. Everyone was so intent on eating that Rueben thought he'd escaped the great inquisition about where he'd been that afternoon. He should've known they were only appeasing their appetites before satisfying their curiosity.

"Must've been some dentist appointment." Kieran pointed his empty fork in Rueben's direction and circled the air.

Rueben played dumb and shrugged. "No cavities."

Kieran's impish smirk said he wasn't done poking and prodding. He'd have to work hard because Rue wouldn't volunteer a damn thing. "You're hours late, your hair is flat, and your shirt is inside out."

"And you have a love bite peeking out of your shirt collar," Finley said, waggling his brows.

Rueben wasn't aware of the sensitive spot until Finley said something. He instinctively slapped a hand at the bottom of his neck, recalling the moment Seth marked him. Rueben's reaction drew the attention of everyone at the table, especially Cash. He pulled his collar up higher and resumed eating without comment.

"We have the same dentist, Rue," Dylan said. "He's a little long in the tooth, isn't he?"

Harry set her fork down and glared at her boyfriend. "You suddenly have something wrong with dating older people?" Bless her heart for taking the heat off him. Everyone turned their attention to see how Dylan dug himself out of trouble.

Except Cash. Those intelligent blue eyes pinned Rueben to his seat, and he had to fight the urge to wiggle like a worm on a fishing hook.

"Honey, there's only a few years between us." Dylan's voice was honey sweet, but Harry didn't look moved so much as a millimeter. "Doc Johnson is decades older than Rueben. At least three and a half of them. Then you factor in the stud our friend is really pining for, and it makes it that much harder to believe Doc Johnson caused Rueben's swollen lips and hickey." All eyes turned in his direction again. "Unless it's a reaction to a dental treatment," Dylan hastily added.

Rueben bristled but didn't react to the curiosity aimed his way. He didn't owe them an accounting of his time. He didn't require it of them, and he didn't want to be treated any differently. When they failed to get a rise or answers out of Rueben, everyone tucked back into their food. It was the most awkward meal they'd ever shared, and that included Kieran's borderline hostility when he arrived at the ranch from Arrowhead. When he finished his food, Rueben pushed back from the table to take his dishes to the kitchen. One look at Cash's stern expression stopped him in his tracks.

"I'd like to talk to you in my office." Cash stood up with his dishes in hand.

"Okay, I have kitchen duty, though."

"Nick can step in for you," Cash said. He gestured to the doorway with his head, and Rueben followed him out of the dining room.

They rinsed their dishes and stacked them in the dishwasher. Cash snagged another biscuit from the leftovers and headed toward his office with his border collie, Patsy, on his heels. Rueben took up the rear and followed at a slower pace, trying to figure out what he'd say. He recommitted to not giving bullshit excuses or lying to the man he respected more than any other. Cash was the father figure he'd never had in his life. His tío had tried, but Rueben had been too heartbroken and angry to accept the man's affection, or at least meet him halfway. Cash deserved Rueben's respect, and he'd give it.

Cash closed his door and headed over to the seating area next to the stone fireplace. The setting felt less formal than his enormous desk, but the gesture didn't put Rueben at ease. "I hope you know what you're doing, Rue." There wasn't an ounce of anger or censure in Cash's voice, only concern.

Of course, he knew where Rueben had been. This was a man with incredible insight and instincts. Maybe if Rueben had played his attraction to Seth a little cooler, his absence and distractedness wouldn't be so obvious. Rueben noticed Cash hadn't used Seth's name either. Plausible deniability?

"I do." Rueben kept his answer short and honest and never looked away from those piercing blue eyes.

Cash nodded slowly. "Have you considered all the ramifications?"

Rueben's eyes were wide open, and he wasn't wearing rose-colored glasses. It wouldn't matter when their relationship went public; there would always be someone who had a problem with Rueben and Seth dating. They'd never shake questions about how Seth handled the investigation, regardless of the outcome at trial. The press would have a field day with the sheriff dating an ex-con, and Rueben's good deeds since leaving jail wouldn't move the needle one iota. Seth was worth it, damn it. "Yes, I have. We both have." But had they? Neither of them had started a conversation about what would happen next week, next month, or next year. They'd been living for the stolen moment.

"What about the innocent people who might get caught in the crossfires or aftermath?" He meant Keegan because Cash wouldn't worry about his reputation. "Have you considered that?"

"Not as much as I should." Honesty sucked.

Cash nodded slowly as he cycled through a long breath. "I strongly encourage you to do so. There's so much at stake, Rueben. Reputation is the least of it. You need to consider if he's worth the risk."

A tremble started in Rueben's shoulders and worked its way through his body. Was Cash making him choose? Was his job and home at risk? Rueben tried to stiffen his muscles to stop the quaking, but that only seemed to make him shake more.

"Rue." Cash's voice was gentle as he kneeled in front of him. He placed his hands on Rueben's biceps and rubbed his arms up and down. "That wasn't an ultimatum. I'm going to back you no matter what, okay? You will always have a place on this ranch and in my family. I know you're in a tough spot."

Tears filled Rueben's eyes, and a quiet sob escaped his trembling lips. Cash pulled him into a hug, and Rueben rested against him until the last tears fell and stillness settled over him once more. The excitement of his stolen moments with Seth had overshadowed the personal risks Rueben staked. He had to be smarter, and he needed to consider telling Keegan the truth so he didn't find out from someone else.

Rueben eased back from Cash's embrace and wiped at his face with both hands. "I have a lot of thinking to do. Thank you."

"I'm here anytime."

Rueben nodded and pushed up to his feet. He said goodbye and headed back to the kitchen to tap in, but the room was spotless, and no one was in sight. Rueben headed back to his cabin to think about his next step but realized it had been decided for him when he found Keegan lying on his bed. His best friend frequently let himself into his cabin to wait for Rueben, and it had never been a problem, but Keegan held Rueben's burner phone in his hand. He'd casually tossed it on the bed while getting ready for the dentist and forgot to tuck it away or take it with him. The device was inexpensive compared to the smartphones Cash provided them, but it still locked with a passcode, though there wasn't much to see. There was only one contact, and Rueben hadn't assigned Seth a cutesy name, or any, for that matter. He was just a ten-digit number on the phone but something so much more significant in Rueben's heart. They didn't text because Rueben couldn't stomach the thought of their exchanges becoming evidence in a trial. Unless a government body tapped their phones, which was unlikely, their conversations would remain private. But none of that mattered because the hurt in Keegan's eyes meant he knew exactly why Rueben owned a second phone.

"Kee…" Rueben's voice trailed off and he couldn't get past the first syllable.

Keegan sat up and set the phone beside him on the bed. Hazel eyes shimmered with hurt and confusion when they met his. "I thought you were working through your sadness with someone like Kerry or Sven. But you wouldn't need a second phone for that."

"I would never get involved with Kerry," Rueben said. "He's Seth's cousin, and I know you like him a lot. I don't date guys who are prettier than me, because I need all the fuss, so Sven is out."

"But why him?"

Like Cash, Keegan didn't say Seth's name. Rueben didn't think plausible deniability was something that occurred to Keegan. Maybe he was just too hurt to say it. Would Seth's name get treated like Bloody Mary or Beetlejuice? Rueben wished he only had to say his name three times to get him to appear. He opened his mouth to respond, but Keegan wasn't done yet.

"You know what's going to happen if people find out." His voice broke, and tears swam in his eyes. "You know what those people did to us, Rue. How can you be okay with them just walking away?"

Rueben dropped to his knees in front of the bed. He took both Keegan's hands in his with every intention of begging for forgiveness with his words and expression. "I'm so sorry, Keegan. There's no excuse for my behavior. I care a whole fucking lot about what those sons of bitches did to you."

Keegan narrowed his eyes. "They almost killed you, Rue. And they would've killed me. It was just a matter of time." He closed his eyes and shook his head. "You know all of this, but you're seeing him anyway. Just tell me why. Is it the sex?"

Rueben's heart pounded in his chest. He needed to step up and do the right thing, and he would, but he needed Keegan to know he hadn't acted brashly and without care for his feelings. Rueben took a few calming breaths to slow his pulse before attempting to explain himself. "Things just clicked into place when we were together. Like a big jigsaw, and I suddenly felt whole. Being with Seth justifies every struggle and mistake I've made because it brought me here, to him. He makes me feel seen, heard, and understood." Rueben closed his eyes and thought of the way Seth held him against his chest that afternoon, murmuring "just five more minutes" into his hair on repeat until two hours had passed. It was thoughtful gestures like checking out shows or music just because Rueben liked them so he could feel connected. It was talking on the phone long past bedtime because that was the only thing they could offer one another. Rueben sucked in a deep breath and released it slowly. He met Keegan's gaze and said, "And I love him."

Keegan melted a little and tears spilled down his cheeks. "Does he love you too?"

Rueben thought back to the moment he caught Seth watching him with an unguarded expression. His gray eyes contained all the intensity of a thunderstorm and the warmth of sunshine. "He does," Rueben answered without hesitation. He didn't need Seth to say the words to know the truth.

Keegan squeezed his hands and gave him a watery smile. "I can't be the reason you stay away from Seth. I don't want that coming between us."

"And I don't want my love for Seth to hurt you."

Keegan released a dramatic sigh and rolled his eyes. "Then don't get caught. You need to be smarter."

Rueben's chest expanded with love and hope. "That's the plan."

"You owe me for keeping your secret."

"Anything," Rueben replied without hesitation. "Name it."

Keegan tilted his head to the side. "Forfeit that last pint of cherry cordial ice cream in your freezer."

"Done."

A mischievous smile curved Keegan's mouth. "And you'll watch as much Real Housewives with me as I want. Any franchise, anytime."

Rueben puffed up his cheeks and expelled all the air in his lungs. He spent the next four hours watching one installment after another. About three episodes in, he started to enjoy the show more than he wanted to admit.

Keegan laughed when he offered commentary or unsolicited advice to the women through the TV. "And another one hooked." To soften the blow, he passed the ice cream and spoon to Rueben. "Hey, Rue."

He looked over at his friend with a mouthful of ice cream melting on his tongue. "Hmmm?"

Keegan reached over and lightly pushed the sensitive love bite peeking out of his shirt collar. "Be smarter than this, okay?"

"Definitely."